Il Douché and His Discontents: The 2016 Primary Voting Thread, Part 4

keeping on keeping on...

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Donald_Trump_hair_from_above_and_behind.jpg

glad there's a new thread, that one was wayyyyyyy too long and hard to load

creepy to get that close to the Donald / Der Fuhrer

it must look so crazy when there's no stylng gel to hold the wings back and in place- like if it was combed straight down Cousin It style it would look so fucked

anyway does anybody know if his bogus bullshit about the trade deficit has actually convinced people that Mexico has some weird jackpot of cash that can be earmarked for a US infrastructure project? do his supporters actually believe that?

God, can you imagine what Trump looks like getting out of the shower? There's no aspect of that mental image that isn't vom-inducing.

That close and you didn't whip out the Nair?

Some food for thought here:

http://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2016/02/given-that-trump-is-winning-which-views-should-we-update.html

I wonder how much blame social media should accept for the rise of Trump. Does he really have a strong social media presence? I see very little favorable about him, but that may be a result of self-selection.

Thanks. This thread #4 also leaves behind the unfortunate NSFW thread title of #3 that still showed up in bookmarks and My Recent Posts.

I guess Trump has his Twitter feed, which allows him to get his insults and provocations out without any media framing or filter. But most of what I see about Trump on FB, blogs, etc. is negative. Again, could be self-selection though.

...though every time the old thread loaded we got a yuge NYPost Trump-as-Clown pic.

Now we're going to get to see a yuge picture of albino orangutan ass? Uh, thanks, I guess.

how the fuck is someone going to 'blame social media' what does that even mean

unfortunate NSFW thread title of #3

thread lasted a whole month! Are we seriously gonna have a new thread every month

I was referring to Cowen's post I linked to above, xp:

Since most of us have been surprised by the rise of Trump, presumably other, broader views must be updated too. But which ones? I see a few options, which are not for the most part mutually exclusive:

1. Social media are more powerful than we had thought, and more powerful in politics in particular.

2. Republican voters are less conservative, less “Tea Party,” and less libertarian than many people had thought. And the “periphery Republicans” are stronger and more numerous and more easily excited than we had thought.

3. Republican primary voters are more racist than we had thought.

4. Backlash against immigration and immigrants sets in more quickly, when middle class wages are stagnant, than we had thought. And true cosmopolitans are hard to find.

5. The value of commanding and dominating media attention, in a year with no clear front-runner Republican candidate, is higher than we had thought.

6. Trump is more skillful at trolling and pulling levers of public opinion than we had thought.

7. Democracy is less stable than we had thought.

8. New Yorkers are more nationally marketable than we had thought.

Perhaps all of these are true, and yet Trump’s leading role still remains a fundamental surprise. Which other hypotheses am I missing? In any case, it is time for some updating

i guess it means the potential for a candidate (like trump) to bypass traditional media outlets and create his own news, using twitter in his case. he farts out a tweet, then the cable networks and online news cover his tweets and the reactions to them until it's a more traditional news story, then they invite him on to talk about the news he just created. meanwhile other candidates are just trying to get anyone to pay attention to them. not sure he could have been making his own news so easily back in 2000 or whatever.

oh, sorry, that was all very obvious and i think i completely missed the point, whoops

Are we seriously gonna have a new thread every month
hopefully

the potential for a candidate (like trump) to bypass traditional media outlets and create his own news

Yabbut how many "candidates like trump" are out there? If every election cycle is going to be dominated by a massively famous rich person who gets free media by being outrageous, might we run out of those people at some point? Or will it just be Kanye/Kim, Chelsea/Timberlake, and Bristol/Willow from now on?

Or will things slide back to a model in which professional politicians buy ads again?

I think that depends on how badly Trump gets beaten this go-round.

Yabbut how many "candidates like trump" are out there?

beats me. i'd guess there might be more than you think. if i were a politically-minded rich celebrity followed by millions of people, i would strongly consider making a run for some sort of office. you'd have access to a readymade publicity machine that pretty much no one else does.

like imagine what would happen if beyonce ran for governor or something

i can almost hear the eyerolls through the internet for anyone who read it, but i don't think it's outlandish

I suspect there many innovative ways to manipulate American media

I remember lamenting, circa 2008, that I was no longer in advertising, because it seemed like a sweet industry to be in when people were willing to spend like half a billion dollars to not quite elect Mitterson Romney IV.

Soon the streets of the capital will be littered with panhandling ex-consultants. Their suits will grown increasingly threadbare as they hold cardboard signs reading "Will rebrand for money." Sad, really.

Nah, those people are still ok. And besides, the Ben Carson campaign is a nice opportunity to make money on the side this election cycle

GOP accusations of Trump's fascism from are p interesting. There's a lot of them at the moment: https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2016/02/29/the-gop-will-splinter/

Yabbut how many "candidates like trump" are out there?

linda mcmahon didn't fare too well, but maybe she'd have done better in a different state than connecticut

Jennifer Rubin is an imbecile though.

so is George Will!

usually they reserve their accusations of fascism for leftists, this is just an interesting inversion of their usual rhetorical habits

I think the Trump and Bernie campaigns also suggest that a truly straight-talking politician with a some actual crossover charisma (and un-repellent views) would be tough to beat.

If every election cycle is going to be dominated by a massively famous rich person who gets free media by being outrageous

also, i think trump is only one version of how it could work. he's good at being an outrageous blowhard, but i know like dozens of outrageous blowhards, and none of them are currently capturing a presidential nomination by a major political party. it's the addition of his wealth and fame and his ability to manipulate the media that makes it happen for him. but imagine wealth/fame/media manipulation + charisma and occasionally saying something that is intelligent. it could be unstoppable. there's gotta be at least ONE other wealthy famous media manipulator that is also smart.

like, I *expect* uber-leftists to call the GOP frontrunner a fascist (almost regardless of who it is, but even moreso now that it's Drumpf), it's highly unusual to see the right agree.

xp

at least ONE other wealthy famous media manipulator that is also smart.

lol smart ppl generally don't become wealthy famous media manipulators

alright, i actually only know a handful of outrageous blowhards. dozens was an exaggeration. i'm on a coffee buzz, i'm bending the truth, and i'm sorry

Clooney/Affleck '20

there's gotta be at least ONE other wealthy famous media manipulator that is also smart.

I can think of one, but he's already President.

like imagine what would happen if beyonce ran for governor or something

i can almost hear the eyerolls through the internet for anyone who read it, but i don't think it's outlandish

― Karl Malone, Monday, February 29, 2016 4:54 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol Michael Rapino as shadow government

Copied from the previous thread:

That said, it's still kind of LOLWUT that there's a bunch of people out there saying "Stick it to the snobbish Eastern one-percenter elites by voting for the billionaire Manhattanite who went to Wharton!"

― carry me a laser down the road that i must travel (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, February 29, 2016

The irony is there, but Trump doesn't fit the "snobbish Eastern one-percenter elite" profile. He's vulgar. He's gaudy (in a nouveau riche way). He turns debates into Jerry Springer episodes. Also, his gestures are stereotypically "ethnic." He talks with his hands. He makes the type of over-the-top affectionate declarations we're accustomed to hear in mobster movies or showbiz-speech ("I love you all", "you're beautiful"). He's "New York", but what people (including Ted Cruz) miss is that New York doesn't only exist in the American imagination as the least-American place in America. "New York" simultaneously exists in the culture as the most American place in America: the place where the ordinary guy with a borough-bred accent, a hustler's mentality, and a loud personality can make it big time. If Clinton was the first black president, Trump would be our first Jewish president (if by "Jewish" we mean all those traits goy culture traditionally ascribes to the big-city Jew). He's no Romney, that's for sure.

If Clinton was the first black president, Trump would be our first Jewish president (if by "Jewish" we mean all those traits goy culture traditionally ascribes to the big-city Jew).

slow yr roll there pardner

I think the perception of Trump being a super confident alpha male in a field of nervous beta males helps him considerably.

haha I knew someone would say that xp

people have such weird opinions about New York

Seinfeld

If Clinton was the first black president, Trump would be our first Jewish president (if by "Jewish" we mean all those traits goy culture traditionally ascribes to the big-city Jew).

slow yr roll there pardner

― Οὖτις, Monday, February 29, 2016 5:18 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no way this is so otm. "yuge"

no Jew would draw that much attention to themselves.

uh

http://www.commdiginews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/jesus-christ.jpg

tone it down a bit, Jesus

Jesucristo had other people hyping him up tbh

Jesusbros

Trump tweeted a pic of himself as grand marshal of the Salute to Israel parade (from a dozen or so years ago) last week

Jesus also loved the poorly educated!

Great run of posts itt hi 5 all

Promised to get poor underclass into his father's housing if they followed him

One more prophetic Jew:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0d/LifeStinks.jpg

no way this is so otm.

this election's gonna be ugly enough w/out posters using questionable racial yardsticks to measure the "actual" ethnicity of candidates/past presidents

fwiw I've yet to see any Jew claim Trump as "one of ours" the way Toni Morrison did with Bubba

toni morrison wasn't "claiming" clinton as black btw

like imagine what would happen if beyonce ran for governor or something

i’m imagining beyonce running for, like, country comptroller

er, *county

was gonna say! That Morrison quote has been contorted into fascinating shapes.

xxpost

Drumpf has like zero jewish appeal / identification imo

What is he anyway, a German?

half Scottish, half German I believe

A while ago I saw someone say that "when Sanders speaks, bagels fall out of his mouth."

all asshole iirc

Trump later acknowledged his German ancestry and served as grand marshal of the 1999 German-American Steuben Parade in New York City.

^ one for nakh's thread

toni morrison wasn't "claiming" clinton as black btw

I know, but she was making an equivalency based on unfair treatment + stereotype. No one's treating Trump unfairly because he projects "NY Jew". He does not project "NY Jew" imo.

was gonna say! That Morrison quote has been contorted into fascinating shapes.

xxpost

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, February 29, 2016 5:55 PM (8 minutes ago)

so few people understand what she was saying that i sometimes wonder if it partially explains the clinton's popularity with the black electorate

my pt stands that Clinton:Blackness::Trump:Jewishness is not correct

In Salon, Virginia Vitzthum suggested Clinton was also the first woman president:

http://www.salon.com/1998/10/08/newsb_24/

There was a teenage-girlishness to his love-play — the hours on the phone, memorizing her phone number, wearing her ties on special days. He played hard to get; he wouldn’t go all the way. And every time he needed to turn ruthless, he nurtured instead, comforting and flattering Monica instead of sending her packing.... In his affair, Clinton played the old girl game of Technical Virginity — staying good by doing “everything but.”

Weird comment at the Trump rally going on: "Someone just said 'Keep the wall going, keep the wall going'--believe me, we're going to keep the wall going.'"

He spoke in the present tense--has construction already started?

Love this Yogi-ism, too (talking about the media): "20% of them good, 80% of them are bad, 40% of them are disgusting." If the disgusting ones are a subset of the bad ones, I guess that works.

Clinton first commie president according to a stupid article, somewhere

More than his debate debacle, more than his earnest Jimmy Olsen-like pleading, Rubio's embarrassing himself right now. One of his handlers just explained that they have no choice, they have to draw a sharp contrast with Trump. So Rubio goes out now and becomes Donald Trump.

Big surprise: the ex-Arizona governor who had the tarmac skirmish with Obama a few years ago endorses Trump.

Scott Desjarlais, MD - pro life Christian conservative U.S. Rep for TN, who's had multiple affairs, including at least one with a patient whom he pressured to have an abortion, is endorsing Trump.

Trump has the old angry desert white vote locked up

there were questions about this last week

http://www.npr.org/2016/02/29/468253626/a-history-of-super-tuesday

The Clintons' plan to combat Trump.

the "Drumpf" meme is so fucking stupid, the family name was changed in the 17th century

“Hope and change, not so much,” said David Plouffe, who managed Mr. Obama’s 2008 campaign, referring to the slogan that defined that race. “More like hate and castrate.”

wtf

xp yeah, i was expecting something so much more devastating based on the reactions today all over the internet. Whole thing was so so stupid. John Oliver remains insufferable.

Not surprised to see Jan Brewer endorse Trump, the AZ Republican Party is basically the harbinger of the national party. Clean election laws here in AZ disempowered the GOP establishment as gatekeepers, and as a result, all manner of noxious crazies run my state's government. Meanwhile liberals in central Phoenix, Tempe, and Tucson pray that demographic changes eventually politically transform the state into Colorado or New Mexico.

I guess Cruz is being written off at this point, but I just saw this video and I have to say there is something impressive about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi5IZ9StVUI&ebc=ANyPxKpXKNnxcbJdckV-z6-uH6cg4MVLYW9IQzCZaXtP5iCip3_63vZjP0VuxuHRSCubidgl-vD2B3c321nqFSXIwf10gzZw1g

I had kind of only known him as (1) hyperconservative ideologue and (2) creepy guy, but damn he knows his shit, and you have to think if he has a range of subjects he can speak about with this depth he could win over a lot of GOP voters.

and yet

total snake, I know

I mean I guess it manages to explain why he's done as well as he has in spite of basically being disgusting

Cruz: "I'd be happy to answer your question if you would stop yelling."

The man wasn't yelling. He was being emphatic, but the level of his voice was exactly as loud as Cruz's voice. This was just a way to put the guy at a disadvantage and disconcert him.

Cruz being this super-smart idiot who everyone hates is definitely the only fun part of the GOP campaign. I mean, this guy was a national debate champion, but when he told his Princeton teammates he planned to run for president of the debate society, they held a secret "anyone-but-Cruz" meeting. That's basically Cruz in a nutshell

cruz was condescending af in that exchange, i mean he knows his policy he's just a huge dick even when trying to play nice guy

nahh fuck cruz but he was nothing if not extremely patient and gracious there

I think there was a subtle way that it came off like he was following a manual on how to win people over instead of being genuine, but he followed the manual very well.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/01/us/politics/donald-trump-supremacists.html

This "earpiece" excuse for the kkk coyness is such weak bullshit. One of the most disturbing things about this race is the normality of brazen, shameless lies

One of my favourite things this whole cycle was Sanders' Sunday-morning reaction to South Carolina: "We got decimated, George, we got decimated." No creative math or anything.

Bernie's a real human being. Pulling for him tomorrow.

Watching that video I'm trying to recall a GOP nominee as policy wonkish as Cruz. Pat Buchanan? Here's one place Trump clearly benefited from such a pileup of candidates, running major interference. Cruz never had a chance to flex his knowledge. It's hard to imagine that in a protracted debate among just two or three candidates he wouldn't have scored more points for his smarts, dickface notwithstanding.

Cruz was really patient there, but he also very patiently redirecting that farmer to talk to someone else. HIs weakness as a candidate isn't related to his wonk-nerd knowledge but more from his extreme culture war views, which have no basis in fact or logic, which in turn undercuts his knowledge. He's a fundamentalist prig, and no one likes them.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/84/Ned_Flanders.png
"Let me tell you, there is no one who respects farmers more than I do, neighbor."

Get ready for this line to come up:

Huckabee also dismissed Trump's comments in a Monday morning interview on MSNBC's "Morning Joe." When asked about Trump refusing to distance himself from Duke on Sunday, Huckabee balked and instead brought up the late Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV).

"Look, I know it's an incredible overwhelming fascination — I've been watching this morning. But, look, let me ask you this, do you think Hillary Clinton is going to have to answer for her relationship with Sen. Robert Byrd who was an actual member of the KKK?" Huckabee asked.

one line is all it takes

The Robert Byrd analogy came up on CNN last night, brought up by one of Trump's higher-ups (as Alfred suggests, sounds like a coordinated response). I know everyone here hates David Gergen, but the way he called the woman on that--his visible disgust--was pretty compelling.

I saw the clip this morning. I'd never known Gergen was capable of contempt.

It must be interesting to go through life without being able to make meaningful distinctions between anything. This seems to be a common quality among Trump defenders.

"What about Robert Byrd?" has been the favorite tu quoque comeback from the GOP re: racism for at least a decade now.

Yeah, that and "southern democrats formed the KKK."

"party of lincoln"

lbj on the phone a week after dallas btw: "look, yer either the party of lincoln or you ain't!"

lol @ people itt last nite calling out cruz for tone policing

i love the KKK = Dems claim and the inference that NOTHING has happened in the intervening 150 years that might suggest a ideological evolution/ migration. yeah jackohole everyone in the KKK voted for Obama in '08 and '12

not so long of a timeline, maybe, when many of these people are still stuck on the founding fathers

and i used to think it was just profoundly stupid/ ignorant people on the internet who stood by this, but it looks like it's becoming a sanctioned talking point for the right.

another PA politician coming out for Trump was questioned about his refusal to denounce David Duke:

"Trump’s daughter, who converted to Judaism in 2009,” M@rin0 began. “I don’t think Trump has any feeling and concerns about the KKK, other than he doesn’t like them. He renounces them and given the fact that he supported his daughter in that move shows that.”

some of my best friends are

Retaliatory deep dipping for tenuous ties between Clinton and anyone with a racist past is just fucking sad. Don't pretend that this is in any way equivalent to Trump's "KK-what now? David who?" bullshit. I knew who David Duke was and what he was about when I was ten and pretty much only interested in Garfield and the WWF.

Hey, now Trump's got David Duke and Louis Farrakhan on his side! What a winner, right?

Black students ejected from Trump rally in Ga

the drumpf thing has an element of the mythic to it- you assert power over a thing by calling it by its True Name. see also, of course, "schicklgruber".

http://theweek.com/speedreads/609311/time-reporter-choked-slammed-ground-donald-trump-rally

xpost Huh, this might be the first time I've seen Farrakhan in the news for years. Has he totally sat out the Black Lives Matter stuff?

too busy secretly running Obama admin

The notion that Trump and Sanders are pulling different ends of the same troubled American heartstring is not new, but over the disparate strains of Muse tunes and “Mustang Sally” at the Cox Convention Center in downtown Oklahoma City on Sunday, Paul and Sherelle Bowermann were living proof of this theory. They, along with over 4,000 other Oklahomans, had come to hear Sanders speak at an event that included Native American dancing and the obligatory rendition of “This Land Is Your Land” (Woody Guthrie was from Oklahoma, after all). The Bowermanns were supporting the Vermont senator, but “believe it or not, our second choice is Trump,” said Sherelle, 73. In a general election, given the choice between the Manhattan businessman and Clinton, they would vote for Trump. Paul, 68, who characterized his political outlook as “eclectic,” liked that Sanders seemed “more compassionate to people who are down and out” and that Trump seemed to be “protesting the powers that be, the billionaires that run the country.”

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/if-you-want-to-understand-whats-roiling-the-2016-election-go-to-oklahoma/

Trump is like that SNL skit where the Broadway hypnotist hypnotizes all of his audiences into saying his show was much better than "Cats."

He renounces them and given the fact that he supported his daughter in that move shows that.”

ban use of "that"

OMG, I forgot all about people Trumping their cats!
http://theawesomedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/donald-trump-funny-look-alike-201__700.jpg

The stupidity of Peter Beinart.

To fight Mr. Trump’s ability to sway the news cycle, Mr. Clinton would not hold back on the stump, and President Obama has told allies he would gleefully portray Mr. Trump as incapable of handling the duties of the Oval Office.

looking forward to both of these tbh

they are so going to bungle this

who is "they"?

"they" is "we"

we have met the enemy and they is we

hoping at least for some more of this face

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v87/Inuxx/donald-trump-seth-myers-white-house-correspondents-dinner-cspan_zpssgvyjuqg.jpg

where'd he find a tangerine slice big enough to fit his head?

Holy fucking shit at the footage of the reporter being slammed.

dipshit meathead cop in recognizes no boundaries shocka

To fight Mr. Trump’s ability to sway the news cycle, Mr. Clinton would not hold back on the stump, and President Obama has told allies he would gleefully portray Mr. Trump as incapable of handling the duties of the Oval Office.

looking forward to both of these tbh

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 11:28 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they are so going to bungle this

― Blowout Coombes (President Keyes), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 11:30 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

who is "they"?

― WilliamC, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 11:31 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hmm

Although, yes, much of the television news media upon which it's focused is inarguable garbage, Trump's ire towards the media in general is a huge red flag that cannot be waved enough. Look forward to many more chokeslams and worse under President Trump's reign.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I was still pretty shocked that it was a secret service officer, not a Trump goon, who was doing the chokeslamming. Especially since the reporter who was nowhere near the candidate.

Democrats are masters at fucking things up at the moment of victory.

it's almost as if they do it on purpose...

eh, republicans say the same thing about their own, pretty sure both parties look upon their apparatus as ineffectual losers at all times regardless of the circumstances

i know this is petty but does bernie sanders referring to himself in the third person annoy anyone else?

BURLINGTON, Vt. — Senator Bernie Sanders began “Super Tuesday” by casting a ballot at his polling station in Vermont around 7:30 a.m., saying he is “feeling great” about his prospects.

Mr. Sanders, dressed in a black winter jacket and accompanied by his wife, Jane, came to the Robert Miller Community and Recreation Center, checked in with the station’s staff members, then voted for himself.

“After a lot of deliberation I know that Bernie Sanders here in Vermont got at least one vote,” Mr. Sanders joked. “I was working on my wife. So I probably got two. So we are feeling pretty good.”

no...

nope

ugh, he does it all the time and it drives me crazy

It doesn't annoy Tarfumes.

yeah I don't see evidence there that he's crossed over to Jimmy-on-Seinfeld territory.

i think you get a pass if you're running for president and you refer to yourself in the third person as long as you don't do it in one-on-one interviews.

Bob Dole doesn't like it

Really feel like the only way to knock Trump out at this point is convince his voters he's secretly black

I don't know if I can make it through this John Oliver thing

"There's nobody that's done so much for equality as I have," Trump said, before bringing up his club. "You take a look at Palm Beach, Florida. I built the Mar-a-Lago Club, totally open to everybody. A club that, frankly, set a new standard in clubs and a new standard in Palm Beach and I've gotten great credit for it."

a billy club?

"There's nobody that's done so much for equality as I have," Trump said, before bringing up his club. "I'm gonna build a wall so high, Mexico will pay for it." He nodded. "It'll be so high, so equal, and you're gonna love it!"

Lol that following discrimination laws = being an equality pioneer

This feels like one of those early 00s Fox reality shows at this point

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I was still pretty shocked that it was a secret service officer, not a Trump goon, who was doing the chokeslamming. Especially since the reporter who was nowhere near the candidate.

Is there any confirmation that it was USSS?

it's not funny anymore. we are in kafka territory.

Good can't wait til he turns into a bug

based on my voting experience this morning i can tell you that people who live on streets starting in N-Z are turning out in record numbers, A-M not so much

Is there any confirmation that it was USSS?

http://time.com/4241899/donald-trump-rally-time-photographer-chris-morris/?xid=time_socialflow_twitter

Clearly the GOTV operations should be focusing on that critical "streets that are earlier in the alphabet" demographic in ciderpress's area.

(In Va. they used to have lines divided that way but for last names; because there are so many more names beginning N-Z it was always a longer line. There was always some crank grumbling about how they should divide it at a different point, like S. Nowadays, the whole list is on a tablet so you can stand in any line you wish.)

is drumpf a wildly uncommon and weird german name? the end joke is 'haha a foreign sounding name' from a british guy on a premium cable network

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/03/01/how-breitbart-unleashes-hate-mobs-to-threaten-dox-and-troll-trump-critics.html

funny when the legbreakers start to worry. ("funny")

https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/704710156463030273

The anonymous online Trump army is racist, anti-semitic, vile, and despicable. The actual Trump supporters I've met are nothing like that.

like, are you suuuure, sean?

it's not funny anymore. we are in kafka territory.

carve his crimes into his flesh

is drumpf a wildly uncommon and weird german name? the end joke is 'haha a foreign sounding name' from a british guy on a premium cable network

― rap is dad (it's a boy!), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 12:37 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's sorta that but it's also trying to undermine the power of his name, which is sort of an iconic brand in itself signalling wealth and success. also it literally means winning -- the "trump card" -- and these kinds of word associations might be influential to stupid people

I can't see any Drumpfs in Das Telefonbuch, but plenty of Trumpfs.

fighting xenophobia with...xenophobia

i think he was trying to make a connection to his family changing his name (hundreds of years ago?) to trump's criticism of jon stewart for changing his name, which he mentioned earlier in the segment

it wasn't one of his better segments, although it was relatively find until the drumpf part at the end. i guess at this point he feels the need to end every single episode with some sort of stupid loud thing that takes up the whole stage and causes confetti to fly down with a hashtag displayed at the bottom of the screen.

i just spent a few minutes trying to do a parody of oliver's thing where he constantly makes metaphors, but just thinking about it left me feeling ill and a bit exhausted

the end joke is 'haha a foreign sounding name'

this is not the joke btw

the joke is to subvert his brand

Hey it was better than the shitty Donald Dump garbage pail kid card going around in January I'll give it that

anonymous online

Drumpf definitely a step up from the name it was before it was Drumpf, Zapf Dingbat.

In the UK, 'trump' is what small children and old people say when they mean 'fart'. Best friend's old English dad used yell WHO TRUMPED?!? whenever The Donald came on '80s TV, much to the amusement of teenage me and best friend.

I think the idea is just to annoy/provoke/ridicule him. I guess the thinking is that for someone who talks so tough, he's got a really thin skin and he can't take ridicule.

Perhaps there's also the hope that it will attract his notice and he'll lash out in some suitably trumpian fashion, which will bring equal parts publicity and lolz.

If someone could let me know a light hearted Trump joke I could use for my bridge class it would be appreciated, thanks. Bear in mind some of them might be Trump supporters.

"I hear if he gets to the White House he's gonna have it bronzed. It'll be classy, you won't believe how classy."

How about "In the UK, 'trump' is what small children and old people say when they mean 'fart'."

and that's okay.

"Ever wonder what it would look like if a geriatric shaved his pubes while standing over a half-melted dreamcicle?"

i had not

trump's hair from the side really does look like a piece of salmon sushi hastily placed atop rice. the beady eyes are a couple of stray sesame seeds. you'll probably find a trump double sitting on a plate, rotating around the conveyer belt at a Kaiten-zushi place.

Trumplings

Thank for that horrifying piece of classical conditioning

it's sorta that but it's also trying to undermine the power of his name, which is sort of an iconic brand in itself signalling wealth and success. also it literally means winning -- the "trump card" -- and these kinds of word associations might be influential to stupid people

i think he was trying to make a connection to his family changing his name (hundreds of years ago?) to trump's criticism of jon stewart for changing his name, which he mentioned earlier in the segment

I think the idea is just to annoy/provoke/ridicule him. I guess the thinking is that for someone who talks so tough, he's got a really thin skin and he can't take ridicule.

also please note that stewart did not change his name and trump went on (wrongly) to deny he had ever said he had

Anyone mocking Trump's hair clearly doesn't remember the fundamentals of Bernoulli's principle. To quote Trump himself, "In a world full of people, only some want to fly, isn't that crazy?"

Little Donald Needs to Fly

the john oliver thing will be so irrelevant. it exists in an echo chamber for people who already hate trump and want to feel better/smarter than other people

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

lol sorry everybody i didn't mean to do that

I feel like carefully studying any extant videos of Trump's parents could yield abundant psych warfare ammo in the general. Replicating a dressing down from his mom for telling lies might be just the thing to poke an unpatchable hole in that thin skin.

she was a saint

yeah i think some of those segments oliver and stewart and whoever else has done them exist merely so people can smugshare them on facebook

xxxxxp so otm. I can't stand John Oliver.

p.s. a lot of European family names have changed since the 17th century, when less than 50% of people could sign their own names

also please note that stewart did not change his name and trump went on (wrongly) to deny he had ever said he had

― ulysses, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 1:18 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what do you mean by did not change his name?

giving john oliver a platform is a greater embarrassment to the united states and than nominating trump

let's keep things in perspective here

I agree Oliver's yelling into an echo chamber but eh it doesn't bother me much

less embarrassing than Piers Morgan probably

no john oliver is definitely worse for american discourse than trump

aw i like John Oliver

no john oliver is definitely worse for american discourse than trump

I can't tell if you're being serious - for one thing way more people know who Trump is/listen to Trump; just setting aside who's more obnoxious Trump is unquestionably the bigger, more impactful figure.

geez i haven't seen his show but i had no idea there was a backlash

he's definitely being serious

I think it's a Brit thing, Morbs. We wouldn't understand.

my tennessean father, who has recently discovered email, just sent me the following:

We're rooting for the Donald today. He's promising to do what the Iraq War catastrophe, the '08 financial crisis, and $4 a gallon gasoline couldn't do: send the muthafuckin' Republican party up in flames. The way things are setting, today could be a major landmark for progressivism.Who'd a thunk Drumpf could accomplished all that? What a guy. And talk about "mysterious ways!"

There were a couple of funny lines in that Oliver thing, but twenty fucking minutes?

lol dads

btw we need cruz to win texas tonight so that he stays in the race

I think that's pretty likely

https://twitter.com/anamariecox/status/704729755547865089

Trump just said he’s “never heard” the insult that he has small hands. The guy lies about the WEIRDEST things.

xp yeah he's ahead by 7 or 8 points in the RCP average

xpost

That’s the first John Oliver I’ve seen but it looks like more of the same old (John Stewart) shit. I guess these people can claim that they are comedians, but their really a bunch of irresponsible newscasters just like the rest of them IMO

i think i read something debunking the dong size/hand size thing

i misposted this:

this is pretty good

http://www.vox.com/2016/3/1/11135756/donald-trump-nationalism

― goole, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 12:52 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ymmv with yglesias explainer mode but the first two paras are like duuuuh of course

the anti-trump right trying to pin this all on obama or liberalism generally has been hilarious. so acrobatic, these guys

― goole, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 12:53 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah but did anyone do a dong/hand check on the author, seems suspicious

i didn't even get that and had never heard dick size = hand size. Feet yes, hands no.
i just thought it was funny he was uptight about having pudgy hands.

i thought it was short fingers not small hands

SHORT FINGERED VULGARIAN

i enjoy gawker's various descriptions of trump, i'd poll them except they're too numerous to track down

That’s the first John Oliver I’ve seen but it looks like more of the same old (John Stewart) shit.

John Oliver has one schtick that he uses over and over again. Every bit has the exact same rhythm and uses the same "it's like (non-sequitur cultural reference)!" joke construction

if cruz wins tx and rubio loses fl will rubio drop out?

oh for pete's sake

John Oliver has one schtick that he uses over and over again. Every bit has the exact same rhythm and uses the same "it's like (non-sequitur cultural reference)!" joke construction

also stuff like "Go to bed Anthony! No one likes you and you've been crabby for 3 hours, you are ruining this evening Anthony! Go to bed!"

if cruz wins tx and rubio loses fl will rubio drop out?

seems like a possibility, but who knows.

FL isn't voting today

i know

I can't see Rubio staying in if he loses FL (which is looking likely). I look forward to his humiliation though. Hopefully it will end his career.

gonna go out on a limb and say that trying to insinuate that donald has a small dick isn't really going to work. dude has slept with a lot of hot chicks

idea: we take away florida's right to vote and replace them with Afred as a mega-super-delegate

yeah i hope rubio gets completely jindalled

Trump 2016: It's Not the Size of the Boat, It's the Motion of the Ocean...but Seriously Have you Seen this boat? Fantastic! It's great, the People Love this Boat! What can you say? It's beautiful...beautiful

Read a report that Koch Brothers/other big donors have drafted a plan to stop Trump - $75 million to Rubio, $75 million to enormous campaign against Trump. Under the condition that Rubio wins FL. If he loses, they'll get behind................Mitt Romney.

sure, seems like a good plan

lmao

and only 3 months late

http://i.imgur.com/CSn9z85.jpg

big day for cruz!

the john oliver thing will be so irrelevant. it exists in an echo chamber for people who already hate trump and want to feel better/smarter than other people

Like Savage's thing with Santorum?

I think Cruz and Rubio will both get just enough victory (at least in delegate terms) to stay in for a while. Both have been running around for week saying the sky is falling and Trump must be stopped By Any Means Necessary - they would look pretty foolish if tomorrow morning they were all like, "So, yeah, about that? Never mind. I'm done."

Plus Rubio at least has been putting out there the idea that his pledged delegates will give him convention leverage, even if he doesn't win any states outright. Not that it will work. (As I said earlier you can't combine the votes from two almosts and two nevers and beat one big Fuck Yeah. Clear will of the voters and whatnot.)

Rubio will stay in for the next two weeks at least, even if he's down to one staffer and he's forced to drink tap water instead of bottled. Then he can go off and be a lobbyist or lawyer or something. Cruz, I dunno. He's so loathesome I don't even want to spend mental energy on psychoanalyzing him.

If he loses, they'll get behind................Mitt Romney.

god I hope this is true

Big M.I.T.T.

i'm neutral on john oliver, but the civil forfeiture thing he did was legitimately good broadcasting, bringing to light to a serious issue that was otherwise basically ignored.

Mitt Romney ‏@MittRomney Jan 29
RELEASE: My remarks from last night: “Happy birthday to you; happy birthday to you; happy birthday @SpeakerRyan…"
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CZ6-g1NWkAAOZVM.jpg

Carson is seeing this through to the bitter end, right? Like, he'll hopefully still be standing awkwardly on the side of the debate stage months after the nomination is already sealed up. That's all I ask for.

i'm neutral on john oliver, but the civil forfeiture thing he did was legitimately good broadcasting, bringing to light to a serious issue that was otherwise basically ignored.

― intheblanks, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 1:20 PM (22 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah i think he's the best when doing things like this or the big thing regarding how lower income people often end up in jail for long periods of time for minor offenses like unpaid parking tickets, i mean get he can be a bit samey but he often does do things that the regular news media won't highligh

http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/01/politics/paul-ryan-donald-trump-kkk/index.html

Here we have Paul Ryan playing Two Truths and a Lie:

"If a person wants to be the nominee of the Republican Party, there can be no evasion and no games. They must reject any group or cause that is built on bigotry. This party does not prey on people's prejudices," Ryan told reporters on Capitol Hill.

(I'm not sure he's clear on the rules, though)

more like 3 lies

John Oliver has one schtick that he uses over and over again. Every bit has the exact same rhythm and uses the same "it's like (non-sequitur cultural reference)!" joke construction

― micro brewbio (crüt), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 2:01 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I know what you mean. Every time I sit down to watch him I think, well, he's generally appealing; maybe this'll be a good show. But it's like biting into a chocolate-covered cherry, but instead of a cherry, there's a live bee! That's not a cherry! That's a bee! How'd that bee get in there? This isn't pleasant at all! This is very, very painful!

https://timethemoment.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/time_paulryan_20111205_04021.jpg

"If a person wants to be the nominee of the Republican Party, there can be no evasion and no games. They must reject any group or cause that is built on bigotry. This party does not prey on people's prejudices.

haha

https://45.media.tumblr.com/cef13f0bacf63b79bc5c2bc455c0d7fa/tumblr_mu8gjaCweb1qa9pg6o3_500.gif

lol Tarfumes I see what you did there

The Oliver 'Drumpf' piece seemed to be working on a couple of levels, one being the obvious-to-us* idea that being anti-immigrant in the US is a foolishly ahistorical idea, and another seemed to be (though I don't watch his show regularly at all) that the go big at the end is a parody of Trump and intentionally jarring with the "let's just sit and research these claims" air of the earlier stuff. And another is that Drumpf is a funny name.

*which is is the big problem, only 'us' are watching it

i am so sorry

[Removed Illegal Image]

http://f.cl.ly/items/2W3R2q2K3z331e3t1C0y/trump.jpg

he has two belly buttons

The Smurfs was first created and introduced as a series of comic characters by the Belgian comics artist Peyo (pen name of Pierre Culliford) in 1958, where they were known as Les Schtroumpfs.

Disappointed that John Oliver didn't take five seconds of the 20 minutes to point out what 'trump' means in British English.

Smurfs are anti semetic bastards

we really can't have a SFW thread about Trump/primaries can we

Tracer what the hell

It's a brilliant painting but it would indeed be super cool if a mod could transform it into a NSFW link.

it's ART!

dude i am in the library

John Oliver has one schtick that he uses over and over again. Every bit has the exact same rhythm and uses the same "it's like (non-sequitur cultural reference)!" joke construction

― micro brewbio (crüt), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 2:01 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I know what you mean. Every time I sit down to watch him I think, well, he's generally appealing; maybe this'll be a good show. But it's like biting into a chocolate-covered cherry, but instead of a cherry, there's a live bee! That's not a cherry! That's a bee! How'd that bee get in there? This isn't pleasant at all! This is very, very painful!

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), 1. marts 2016 20:29 (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think you're confusing Last Week Tonight and Full Frontal.

BADUMTJIJ

as a britishes it's weird and perplexing to see someone like oliver failing up from being an unsuccessful jobbing stand-up in britain to having his own tv show in the states

NSFW, NSFAmerica

I think Tracer's the one who has issues with full frontal. xxp

@nikkihaley
@realDonaldTrump, Bless your heart.

o shiii

i hate that little exasperated "can you believe this?! uf uf!" laugh oliver does. he reminds me of rachel maddow in that he has to underline sarcasm eight times; even as they both sometimes do good work, i feel my intelligence insulted as they talk.

do you guys really think oliver is trying to "change" people's way of thinking about trump, or do you think he's trying to get people who are concerned about trump to laugh? he's stating he's a comedian first and foremost, and that's the way i watch the show. i don't think he's going to change anyone's mind. if you're watching it that way, you're watching it wrong

he certainly spends some of his energy calling attention to issues he thinks his audience neglects but that's not what's happening here

I think Tracer's the one who has issues with full frontal. xxp

― Sorry To Be The Bearer Of Bad Poos (Leee), 1. marts 2016 21:05 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

BADUMBADUMTJIJ

the john oliver trump thing was fine. it's actually not that smug, he admits there is appeal to trump and then takes the top things people say in his favour and then gives specific examples of trump being the opposite of them. it may be shouting into the void, but maybe not

ilx just doesn't like middlebrow shit that insults their intelligence as amateurist puts it

ftr i agree that some of oliver's tics are annoying

his tics are annoying, sure, but he's funny as hell, funnier than Stewart was at times

as a britishes it's weird and perplexing to see someone like oliver failing up from being an unsuccessful jobbing stand-up in britain to having his own tv show in the states

― Cornelius Pardew (jim in glasgow), Tuesday, 1 March 2016 20:04 (17 minutes ago) Permalink

any moron has a tv show on cable television in (north) america

his billboards were up in beverly hills a while ago. i guess he thinks he is "edgy"

in his trump bit he used the phrase "shattering orgasm", which reminded me immediately of the 11oclock show/tvgohome ca. 2000, when men said things like that instead of being funny.

Anyone know which states John Oliver is projected to win today

OH

WAIT

as a britishes it's weird and perplexing to see someone like oliver failing up from being an unsuccessful jobbing stand-up in britain to having his own tv show in the states

― Cornelius Pardew (jim in glasgow), Tuesday, 1 March 2016 20:04 (17 minutes ago) Permalink

Craig Ferguson.

... unsuccessful as a stand up because garbage and talentless.

as a britishes it's weird and perplexing to see someone like oliver failing up from being an unsuccessful jobbing stand-up in britain to having his own tv show in the states

― Cornelius Pardew (jim in glasgow), Tuesday, 1 March 2016

didn't Churchill do this

Isn't this just a thing people do? They can't seem to make their mark at home so they go to another country where they don't have to be as talented because now they have an accent? Let it goooooo.

I'm not surprised his standup was awful but Ferguson was by far my favorite late night host for a few years there. His interviews were actually interesting and human on a regular basis instead of canned dialogue leading to a discussion of whatever new thing the guest needed to promote.

US:rock bands::UK:comedians

ferguso >>>>>>> the numnuts doing late night now

lol "ferguson"

Never saw any of that, only know him as an unfunny chancer from Cumbernauld.

truly a super tuesday on ilx

as a britishes it's weird and perplexing to see someone like oliver failing up from being an unsuccessful jobbing stand-up in britain to having his own tv show in the states

this from a country that feted Soul Asylum

*obligatory MN post abt how pre-Grave Dancers Union Soul Asylum was a great band*

this from a country that feted Soul Asylum

Don't think so.

Pirnerbro

feel the pirn

what about Piers Morgan? was he also a terrible stand-up in the UK before having his show in the US?

it's a shame oliver's modest talent couldn't propel him to the heights of jimmy carr

No, just a terrible cunt. (xp)

Piers Morgan's success baffles me, I remember seeing a hoarding advertising his return to Daybreak with the tagline "back by unpopular demand", but tbh I don't even think he's someone that people 'love to hate' à la Simon Cowell, people just hate him

i've seen his cnn show once, when he interviewed ellen barkin. he was like the most obnoxious leering dude, she was so uncomfortable.

hey guys Hello, buglers! John Oliver has a weekly show, "Last Week Tonight"

in non-late night tv news,

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CcfVtZpUcAAzHpD.jpg

(sorry for largeness)

he's a uniter, not a viable candidate

I like how he doesn't capitalize Democratic.

Aw, that's just so gosh darned CUTE!

He's "concerned with the lack of civility."

Don't you just want to hug the stuffing out of him?

no

He could probably make that even more emphatic with an image of the cherries and the bananas and the pears in a fruit salad co-existing peacefully.

Is this meeting also going to happen in a closet?

Apart from the lower-case d, he apparently didn't get the memo that you're supposed to call the opponent "the democrat party."

demoncrat

LIEberal!

carson is def planning to stab the remaining GOP contestants in his closet meeting

Dude has no idea he's in a den of wolves I guess

they're all gonna look at each other's hands

American People

Upthread, Collardio G. suggested Trump was rocking something like a pseudo-jewish vibe, by virtue of being a brash new yawker:

Trump would be our first Jewish president (if by "Jewish" we mean all those traits goy culture traditionally ascribes to the big-city Jew).

Not sure about that, but please to check out Minister Farrakhan praising Trump for resisting the siren call of those filthy, scheming Jews:

http://gawker.com/louis-farrakhan-praises-trump-for-his-independence-from-1762138413?

When you're down with the Klan AND Nation of Islam, these are strange days indeed. Most peculiar, momma.

They're at a Trump event on CNN right now, and "Tiny Dancer"'s playing in the hall. I remember another event where Trump came out to "Revolution." I'd be curious as to how many cease-and-desist orders they're getting on a daily basis.

When you're down with the Klan AND Nation of Islam, these are strange days indeed.

not really. they both espouse racialist, essentially separatist ideologies -- in a way they are compatible.

not unlike the white supremacists who supported various "back to africa" movements in the 19th and early 20th centuries

A lot of times intolerant dickhead get along with one another

Buchanan in 2000 had Fulani and Duke backing him, so the weird mix is not unprecedented.

A lot of times intolerant dickhead get along with one another

― Treeship, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 4:06 PM (11 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this used to be the GOP motto, i think.

Some things transcend ideology

Tiny Dancer more like Tiny Hands Sir

Well done.

winner

from the Shitlantic:

"The Republican presidential candidate (Carson) wants to convene a meeting of the candidates out of concern over a “lack of civility” in the GOP primary race, his campaign announced on Tuesday."

lol welcome to politics bitch

V good

i imagine the other candidates giving carson a wedgie during that "meeting"

"c'mon guys, gimme back my day planner"

Is this meeting also going to happen in a closet?

― i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), Tuesday, 1 March 2016 21:41 (1 hour ago) Permalink

i legit lolled for a full minute

i thought the john oliver thing was funny. sorry britishers.

ISIS is endorsing Trump

VA and GA called for Clinton. VT called for Sanders (duh)

exit polls closer than expected for Vermont. Virginia too close to call.

I'm sure this all goes according to plan but y'know....

for Repubs obv I'm speaking

talking about britishers, why did the illustrator draw carson wearing a british tie here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/politics/2016-election/primaries/super-tuesday-preview/republican/

this "projected winner with 1% reporting" stuff is so weird

is that a british tie? it's just red stripes

for reference, cruz is wearing an american tie

xxpost when you lead by 50 percentage points, and the exit polls concur, it's fairly easy. such as how htey always call California in the last few elections minutes after the polls close

https://twitter.com/NewsHour/status/704824251979726848

LOL alaska

who can blame them when they're floating way down in the middle of Mexico like that.

exit polls reportedly showing Kasich ahead in Vermont according to FiveThirtyEight

saying that 4 candidates might get delegates tonight if the cards fall right and that a lot of the races are closer than expected.

more interesting from a 'numbers geek' standpoint but hey i'm on a train this is my entertainment

they can see putin from there u know

in a shock to nobody, Georgia called for Trump.

get that Confederate vote

Not just from a numbers perspective. The more winners the less likely ppl drop out to help consolidate the field

We can't believe this classic troll! Putin moves "The Motherland Calls" statue to the Bering Strait, facing east!!

Why is Trump holding a press conference tonight? That seems unusual on a big primary night. Maybe this is the big "So long, suckers" moment he's been working up to all along.

Kidding, but I am perplexed. I read something about a big endorsement, but that doesn't go along with a press conference, does it? Maybe it has something to do with KKK damage-control.

i don't think trump does damage control, and certainly not on a night which seems likely to be a big win for him

maybe he's just gonna whip it out on live television cos why not at this point

I have no idea, but the Trump campaign promised a major announcement.

early veep announcement? i wouldn't put it past him.

i was just thinking that

ladies and gentlemen, Tila Tequila

I'm sure whatever it is will be underwhelming and stupid

xpost lol

maybe he's just gonna whip it out on live television

Thereby proving his hands really aren't that small after all.

oh man Virginia heating up

Not that it necessarily matters, but wouldn't Sanders leading in Oklahoma be a surprise? Clinton wins all the states that vote Republican in the general.

is rubio going to declare victory in virginia if he comes in second by single digits? the soft bigotry of low expectations?

xp not really, sanders has been winning white voters in most states (incl SC iirc??)

"it just goes to show you guys that if you work hard and apply yourself, you can get beaten by an old curmudgeonly white guy"

xpost

please tell me the remaining 40% of Virginia is largely Beltway votes

Vermont reporting moving at a snails pace

538 had oklahoma as a toss-up

what else do they have to do tonight

xpost

xpost yeah that apprently Cruz was slightly ahead in exit polls?

i meant on the dem side

oh

First MA results looking good for Sanders

i promise i am not trying to spin anyone with this comment: it seems to me like bernie needs to do significantly better in ok, mass places than just like 50/50 even if he collects a few more delegates bc hillary is winning lopsidedly in all these other states and most [all?] of them are apportioned proportionately

Yeah, tbh, I didn't know TX had almost 2.5 times as many delegates as MA.

The first 1% of the MA results are a lot better than 50/50, though, although it probably doesn't mean much yet.

i promise i am not trying to spin anyone with this comment: it seems to me like bernie needs to do significantly better in ok, mass places than just like 50/50 even if he collects a few more delegates bc hillary is winning lopsidedly in all these other states and most [all?] of them are apportioned proportionately

― Mordy, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 8:15 PM (3 minutes ago)

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/bernie-sanders-doesnt-need-momentum-he-needs-to-win-these-states/

btw keep in mind that the first few percentage points of precints are pretty meaningless

Yeah, the numbers are already a lot more even.

yeah it all depends on the makeup of the earliest districts.

which sites are the best/most up to date reporting the returns? Washington Post is criminally behind CNN, but I haven't tried many others yet.

i've tried a bunch and CNN seems to be fine, plus they show them all on the same screen

You should all know that Hills is in Miami and she didn't invite me to her party.

https://twitter.com/skoczela/status/704839420579553280

you can "vote" "no preference" in MA?

Hope Trump runs the table except for Texas. I want to luxuriate in the full-scale Republican panic tomorrow, which will even eclipse anything thus far.

Kasich running behind Carson in any of these contests blows my mind

he's just trolling at this point. he himself even predicted a Trump sweep and was like "ahh mean I'm just here for the booze and tail".

ok maybe a little artistic license on the second half

So Clinton has a slogan now--an answer song, like "Sweet Home Alabama." It's already kind of annoying.

Cruz officially projected for Texas now (no surprise).

Virginia loss for Rubio not horrible since they're a proportionate delegate and not winner take all (but still a blow to his widdle ego)

sanders speech earlier sounded like they believed the race was over

clinton speech sounds like they read closely this

http://www.democracycorps.com/attachments/article/1025/Dcor_RPP_Memo_2.29.2016_FOR%20RELEASE.pdf

which, if any, will be the first state rubio wins? hawaii?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0e2jN2D7Kg

Minnesota, maybe.

Lol rubio cant win a single fucking state

every time cnn puts up their key race alert thing i just think

MAJOR KEY ALERT

they don't want you to take this to the convention

"ted cruz is having his victory party at the redneck country club.. that's the name of it, don't get mad at me for saying it"

Cruz wins Oklahoma! The wave begins!

Oh Hillary, I'm really trying with you, but ... "we're all in this together" is such an obvious Sanders rip-off. Couldn't you at least have reworded a little bit? "All for one, one for all" maybe? "El pueblo unido jamas sera vencido"? "No one can stop us now, tonight we're on the loose"?

That Jon King line was pretty funny--tomorrow he'll claim never to have heard of the Redneck Country Club.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9BfvPjsXXw

Sanders getting clobbered in Alabama

the whole south. annihilated.

gotta say, clinton used the party machine to her advantage in texas. all the local pols were in full force as surrogates.

that's what a party is for after all

i knowwww

"We were annihilated, George, we were annihilated."

xp oh no I didn't mean to be belittling D:

s'okay silby

there was definitely some grassroots bernie support in san antonio, but i never got the impression that they got much done. this was a less persistent bunch than the obama campaign 8 years ago.

it's worrisome just how conventional Hillary's rhetorical devices are. This wouldn't normally be a large concern, but this year...

Bison, bro, who has the time. South by is in less than a fortnight homes.

Clinton pulling away in MA now

Keeping my fingers crossed for Bernie in Minn

Rick Scott endorsing Trump tonight according to Fox News.

"Tonight is the beginning of Donald Trump bringing the people of our nation together"--Christie.

Absolutely. We're even feeling the imminent togetherness up in Canada.

lol

Is there anything more nauseating than watching Chris Christie play caddy for Donald Trump?

http://gawker.com/your-guide-to-americas-super-tuesday-national-meltdown-1762259739

"Apparently, Carson is saying he’s going to refuse to drop out of the race even if he doesn’t win any states tonight, saying “he’ll listen only to God and his supporters” since “the mainstream media is seeking to silence him.” All in all, a great prank by God."

Keeping my fingers crossed for Bernie in Minn
― Crazy Eddie & Jesus the Kid (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 8:32 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Anecdotal but friends saying Minneapolis neighborhood caucuses are packed, insane lines, running out of actual ballots & using pieces of paper

Wow, Trump sticking the knife into Rubio tonight. That's amazing--not from Trump, but trying to imagine that before Trump.

which, if any, will be the first state rubio wins? hawaii?

― mookieproof, Tuesday, March 1, 2016 6:04 PM (36 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nah i'm betting we go for trump.

I remember Huckabee staying in long after he'd been mathematically eliminated, saying "I didn't major in math, I majored in miracles."

Rubio: "Do not give into the fear, do not give into anger. Do not give into sham artists and con artists who try to take advantage of your suffering, your hardships."
going for the old "not the robots you're looking for" ploy

are there Mexicans in Hawaii

Even though Cruz is winning Texas, it looks like Rubio may win Austin. Who knew?

can't wait to see who in the GOP falls in the Trump conga line and who rails against his apostasy til the very end

God, this press conference and Christie's face in the backgrounds

God, this press conference and Christie's face in the background

Clinton pulling away in MA now

My sense is that, unless Sanders did really well in Worcester, the state is probably hers?

I doubt that anyone who falls into the conga line will look more painfully diminished than Christie does right now.

Goo, this ass conference and Christie's face in the background

Trump will be our next President. Listening to his press conference, it's like music. Pure poetry.

God, this press conference and Christie's face in the backgrounds

God, this press conference and Christie's face in the backgrounding

Trump says he'll get along with Paul Ryan, and, "if I don't, he's gonna have to pay a big price, O.K.?"

politics as wrestling bloodsport is amazing and weird and terrifying and hysterical

Christie is a Machiavellian genius. He's not going to be governor for much longer. So now he'll either be Vice President (or goebbels or whatever) if trump wins, or rewarded with some bank making business bullshit role if he loses

trump says absolutely nothing except empty slogans and shit talk. its amazing.

God, this press conference and Christie's face in the backgrounder

a screaming fascist manbaby is the choice for leader from a considerable percentage of the american population and that's not a good thing

trump is going to win the nomination. i keep wondering about who is going to fall in line behind him and who will be too principled. will nro/commentary types truly #nevertrump or will jonah goldburg dutifully support the nominee? marco rubio? the bush family or romney?

God, this press conference and Christie's face like a moon pie in the background

jeez, even the usually sober Talking Points Memo has bought into the cable news/advertising twaddle that Cruz's two wins are a "major upset."

God, this press conference and Christie's face in Trump's ass

Clinton pulling away in MA now
My sense is that, unless Sanders did really well in Worcester, the state is probably hers?

― Hi! I'm twice-coloured! (Sund4r), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 10:06 PM (5 minutes ago

hasn't been called by anyone yet. boston is about 83% in and there's still a lot of boonies (which should be good for bernie) at 0%

boston is about 83% in and there's still a lot of boonies

#bernies you mean

This has to be a demoralizing nightmare for 97% of the (phantom?) Republican establishment: they now have to choose between Trump or Cruz. That's all that left.

are there Mexicans in Hawaii

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 6:55 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

more lately (~25 years), but hawaii is a dem machine state and i'm p sure its republican primary base is embattled-feeling whites and a handful of rich asians. from a political perspective the black population is zero. we also have unusually low turnout (for america!) which i guess is bad for trump if it continues, but this is a weird year.

"ted cruz is having his victory party at the redneck country club.. that's the name of it, don't get mad at me for saying it"

― arts and crafts THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, March 1, 2016 8:11 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Not only is it real, it's in my hometown, next to a Waffle House, an off-brand motel (used to be a LA Quinta), and a WalMart. The owner is a local Right Wing douchecanoe radio guy.

what's (# of republican primary voters)/(# of 2012 romney voters), there's still not concrete evidence that Hiterline demagoguery plays for more than somewhere less than 50% of the GOP primary electorate

I think the Republican establishment will vote for HRC

xps

in other news the hawaii elections website is not accepting any combination of the inscrutable and unlabeled numbers on my driver's license

I meant "Hitlerine" not "Hitlerline" neither of which is a word but oh well

Re:Rubio in Austin--it's probably down to Young Repubs at UT and surrounding schools for whom Trump & Cruz are too mersh.

Cruz openly calling for Rubio/Kasich/Carson to throw in with him, also quoting Democratic presidents.

Trump and Cruz at the top, amazing

you misspelled "horrifying"

well, that too

Cruz is such a maniac

"Abolish the IRS"

I voted (in MA) with my seven yr old niece in tow. We then went to the pizzeria around the corner and ordered a large pie to bring home. After 20-25 minutes the pizza was ready and we walked out. A few seconds later, as we're crossing the street, a car crashed into the pizzeria we just left. At the time I thought a bomb had gone off. According to the news later two people were killed, three in critical condition. They haven't released the names of the victims yet, but there's a less than remote chance they're neighbors or people connected to my kids' high school. We got home, ate pizza, and I sat down to be comforted by the sight of Trump & Christie carrying on like Prez & VP. Strange evening.

Sorry, this is neither here nor there, but I needed to share. Carry on.

jesus christ dude i'm glad you guys are ok

holy shit, man! same...

Jesus, that's terrifying. Glad you're okay.

HEY GUYS TOM DELAY

Van Jones and Trump's guy having a really heated argument on CNN. (Glad you're okay, collardio.)

dude i was just reading about that crash! scary shit, glad you're ok.

thanks everyone.

Holy shit! Glad u are okay! Kinda a miracle

goddamn, glad you're safe

OTM

rubio in the lead in MN! if he doesn't drop out of the race after tnite...

Vermont otm imo

boston is 98% in and bernie's down by about 27.5k votes

looks like fox called MA for hillary

Clinton-Trump feels as predestined as a Wrestlemania match.

clinton / hulk and trump / andre?

I wrote a letter to the local newspaper today, urging Sanders to continue his campaign, regardless of his chance at the nomination. It isn't as if he is bashing Hillary with a sledge hammer and hurting her chances in November. He's running a remarkably positive campaign based on his own set of issues, which I think need a good airing out.

There will be plenty of time for kissy-face and marching in step after all the votes are in.

Rubio had a great night, just ask him.

Bernie folks on FB talking about how Bill Clinton campaigned in front of a polling place in MA?

bill clinton just needs to be locked in a room with a couple tubs of primal strips and his presidential library of erotica

gabbard on msnbc

so when mitch and the boys try to differentiate themselves from trump's republicans, how will they do it/what name will they use?

the american freedom party is a white supremacist group, so that's *probably* off-limits

Colorado called for Bernie

clinton v trump wrestlemania in cyberspace will be the most vaporwave presidential race ever

rubientum in minnesota!

looking like bernie's gonna lose mass by about 2%

ben carson vows to stay in the race

this rly is the most fucked up scenario for the gop, trump takes the lion's share of delegates, cruz and and rubio get "wins" and feel emboldened to stick around a while longer. and ben carson doesn't give. a. fuck.

And Kasich won't leave until Ohio--there was a state tonight (Vermont?) Rubio might have won absent Kasich.

it's the besssssst scenario xp

All the more reason for dems to want sanders to stay in. If he drops out then the gop dominates the news until they all withdraw, which is how trump is winning that race in the first place.

looking like bernie's gonna lose mass by about 2%

― k3vin k., Tuesday, March 1, 2016 11:27 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ilx quoted out of context

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--S5cP9JE1--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/ysjep7na5dcrahzskw6l.jpg

shout out to the 7200 people in massachusetts who took time out of their day to go and vote for "no preference" instead of like, making a sandwich or something

well they probably voted in other elections, too

also xps kevin, by "fucked up" i mean "the best for me and mines"

I love the fact that tons of pundits were somehow convinced that MN was ever in play wrt Hillary vs Bernie.

Also what up my caucus is famous y'all

http://www.nytimes.com/live/super-tuesday-2016-elections/in-st-paul-suburb-a-shortage-of-ballots-leads-to/

So Ben Carson gave a 15 minute speech about the Pledge of Allegiance

collardio, I was watching the news about that crash with escalating horror; glad you're okay

i'm going to go to sleep. can you guys just alert everyone when this national nightmare is over?

Def feeling a mix of deep fatigue and horror right now.

xpost

sorry, i posted that before i saw DJP's post. didn't mean to seem insensitive. i know where that pizzeria is. horrifying.

glad you and your niece are okay collardio. please all ilxors continue safe, things are frightening enough.

There are rumors floating around that at least one GOP senator is planning to endorse Clinton if Trump wins the nomination.

Mitch McConnell looks like an oyster

guys thanks so much for your nice words. what was hard for me was that I dearly wanted to go back into the pizza shop to help people out until ambulances etc could arrive, but i had my niece with me, and i just couldn't bring her any closer to the scene of a caved-in building with massive ovens. it was the right decision, but painful nonetheless.

but anyhow, "enough about me," as they say

damn Treeship you've just killed oysters as aphrodisiacs for me

Looks like Sanders will have won more states than Cruz/Rubio/Kasich/Carson combined tonight. I don't know, I think I'll lull myself to sleep with that thought tonight.

"There are rumors floating around that at least one GOP senator is planning to endorse Clinton if Trump wins the nomination."

lindsey graham basically already did

mcconnell and ryan seem to have decided to speak about against "bigotry" but also support trump should he win the nomination

a decision that will probably haunt their old age

Any chance Sanders will get a Clinton cabinet appointment? Probably not, right?

pretty sure he'd prefer his senate seat

if any election was made for vine, it's this one.

https://vine.co/v/igH3wW1Khe9