Tell Me About: Threesomes

Watching her with another dude = MAJOR bummer

Plus fail to distribute goods equally and there'll be trouble.

hahaha

OTM!

Martin, what's the best way to bring it up? I don't want to ask when she's drunk, b/c I think that's a little conniving. Over a drink or two to loosen any tensions first, I wouldn't think unreasonable, though.

The thing is, my partner and I feel very comfortable with each other and we're both adventurous enough to have a serious try at it. We're also both mature enough to know to talk out insecurities as they arise instead of dwelling on them, and we both ultimately trust that if one is worried about issue A with the other and the other assures that there is no issue A happening, we believe it.

This all being said, if this simply is one of those things that doesn't really have a happy ending regardless of the above factors, I'm totally willing to let it go. I just want to be certain that that is the only viable option.

http://www.roberthegyes.com/gfx/kotter7.jpg

But quite honestly if you really value your relationship the risk isn't worth it, since I know a couple that was essentially broken up due in large part to a threesome. She said she resented it after the fact, because she felt like she was objectified by him during it (even though she had gone along 100% beforehand) and he felt guilty for "using" her that way, felt weird while it was happening, and felt that the "sanctity" of their relationship was shattered a little bit. I guess that's just one example though.

Foursomes are best when all four parties are bi, I think! I don't think swapping or same room sex is the same as a foursome.

Oh my.

Marc Almond, paraphrased from memory from his biography.

if you do, make sure to give more lovin to the gf than not significant other.

if your gf wants a threesome with another guy...go ahead and break up now then have your threesome.

There's a whole lot of baggage here, but good luck. Maybe check out some polyamorous forums or web sites. They're generally a bit more helpful and less cheesy than swinger websites.

Given the general agreement around here that threesomes are potentially hazardous to relationships, I'd say asking yourself why you want to do it is pretty important.

I'm not saying it wouldn't work out of course but there are risks, and if you're deep into a committed relationship it doesn't seem like it would be worth it.

if so, a fantastic experience
if not, a waste of time

Hahahaha.

I love from butter pecan to blackberry molass'
I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of that *ass*
Long as you show class, and pass my test
Fat *fuckin* breasts, highly intelligent bachlorettes
That's the best, I won't settle for less
I wanna get a brunette, with unforgettable sex
I lay your head on my chest, come feel my heartbeat
We can park the Jeep, pump Mobb Deep, and just spark the leaf
It's hard to creep since I found Joe
Every pretty round brown *hoe* wanna go down low
But this Boogie Down pro-fessional, I'ma let you know
Once I quit the blows, get your clothes, cause you got to go
out the do' downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere
(You nasty Twin) I don't care
Round here they call me Big Pun,
Hit you with the big guns
Big tongue, known to make a chick *cum*

oh and sorry for butting in again and again w/o introducing myself!

http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/tv_pix/nbc/saturday_night_live_episode_photos/_group_photos/rachel_dratch53.jpg

This was all long ago, and I've been with the same person for the last three years (and very happily so). While the threesomes were a blast, I don't miss them at all.

You also need to look at and discuss all of the possible negative outcomes of the experience - don't think "well, we're not the jealous types" and leave it at that - you don't know how jealous or insecure or uncomfortable you might be until you're in the situation. How will you address these issues if they come-up in the middle of three of you frolicking around? How will you address them afterward?

You might want to consider (since you're coming from the "couple" end of things) setting some ground rules about what can and can't be done (I know that lots of people feel more secure if there are certain activities that are reserved for just the couple - like oral sex or whatever - something that shows that there's a bond between the two of you and that you're not going to share that with someone else). However, if you do choose to set such a restriction, you need to make that clear to the third person, so they don't overstep that boundary.

As far as bringing-up the topic with this other person, I'd recommend a public, though quiet, location - don't do it at yours or their house, as if there's a negative reaction, you're going to associate that with the place where it happened - you don't want them to always feel uncomfortable about coming to your house or you visting at their place. Depending on the dynamics, if this third person is closer to one of the partners than the other, the initial suggestion might be better brought-up with just the two of them, before the group discussion begins. (Oh, and as far as where to actually have the sex goes, you might want to think about some neutral place, so that if it is a negative experience the "marriage bed", so to speak, isn't associated with that.)

When it's the three of you talking, make sure that you're not all intoxicated or otherwise under the influence - you have to all have clear heads and minds. And, like it or not, you need to talk about some pretty uncomfortable things, like birth control, and STDs, and past partners, besides addressing all of the emotional issues. Make sure that during all of this you're not pairing off as two against one, which it can sometimes feel like is happening - this isn't a tag-team event, it's a sharing of something intimate and fun between three equals. Be sure to talk about limits and likes and dislikes (really, it's best not to have decided that anal sex will only happen between the couple and then to be in bed and suddenly discover that the third person only likes anal sex - or can't stand to watch it or think about it).

The three of you also need to talk about what happens afterward - do you all spend the night together? Or does someone leave? When do you all talk about what happened? If it doesn't go well, do you agree that you'll talk about what went wrong? If it goes great, when will you talk about that?

Don't have unrealistic expectations about the actual event - it's confusing, you'll end-up in uncomfortable (physical) positions, and there may be times where someone feels left out, because the other two are caught-up in each other. And you know how tough it can be to have mutual orgasms? Three of you coming at once - well, it can happen, but I think that's more of a fluke or a result of lots and lots of (fun) practice. It's not all going to be perfect and wonderful - the fantasy is never the reality - but the reality can exceed the fantasy, if everything goes well. Or maybe you'll need to do it a few times to learn what works and doesn't work.

A threesome can be incredible - physically and emotionally - it can bring people together and provide greater intimacy - it can strengthen bonds - it can be an excellent thing. But it can also be painful, emotionally destructive, dividing, and alienating. Ultimately, no matter how much you prepare for things, you won't know how you feel about it all until it's happening. (And you may discover that the negative emotions arise sometime after the incident, too.)

Talk and talk and talk. Have a sense of humor. Make sure that you all like each other (being physically attracted to someone isn't enough). Don't take yourself too seriously. Be open. Be honest. Admit your fears and concerns. Talk about your hopes and wishes, too. If you're at all uncertain, then don't do it. If you are certain that it's something that the three of you want, then go for it, with open minds and hearts and a resolve that no matter what happens, you're going to work through the after-effects together.

I stick by the idea that threesomes are best made up of three independents versus a couple plus one. While the later version can work out ok depending on the people involved, it is much more likely to backfire.

I don't know if it's better to have it be a couple and then a third person or three individual people - it's based on personalities and compatabilities, and I think that the odds of something working or not working are probably close - but that the ramifications of the working/not working could be more wide-reaching if two of the participants are a couple.

I've been in threesomes in both situations, and I can't say that either situation was particularly more successful or easy than the other - again, it's personalities and the situation at the time.

(Sniffs) Just asking.

This is why threesomes don't work.

(one other time was fun, but hey)

this is one of those things that deserves all the hype, imo.

*sings* we know what you've been dooooo-iiiiing...

just wanted to disagree with all the naysayers in the clusterfuck thread. Threesomes are worth the effort!

tmi bomb: my gf mentioned that she had one of these in college with another girl and a 'random guy'... and as someone who was never really able to manage to score random hookups ever, let alone more than one simultaneously, (and also as someone who has very very often fantasized about this sort of encounter), the thought of it is just seriously, nonstop haunting me since she mentioned it. i've become more depressed than i've been since high school, and i can hardly look at her and keep it together, i'm just constantly distracted by the idea of it. i feel like any attempt to talk through my feelings with her would turn into shitty emotional manipulation of one sort or another. and i don't think i should even want to try to arrange one with her and someone else (which she said she might possibly be into, with a number of boundaries) because i feel like even in the best case scenario, i'd find some reason to be disappointed that it isn't the same as the kind of freewheeling, no-strings hookup that she (well honestly, that 'random guy') had. i don't want to blame her or accost her for her sexual past, it's her life and her business and i understand that this is more of a deep insecurity thing that is my problem, not hers..... but i just can't seem to get over it. it's been almost a week since we talked and it's still literally the only thing i seem to be capable of thinking about when i'm not occupied by doing something. why is this such a big deal? ugh :(

Been a long time since we had a properly done logged out post. Well done

huh

wb deems

i've become more depressed than i've been since high school, and i can hardly look at her and keep it together

Your reaction to this is pretty extreme. I mean - how long ago was this? Actually that doesn't really matter because you're right, it's her life and her past and your reaction to this has nothing to do with her and everything to do with your own insecurities and issues.

x-post - lol

you are probably imagining this other guy as some sort of stud who managed to not only score this fantasy but did so with your now-gf. Probably best to imagine him saying something like "could you both suck my balls?" and him not being able to enjoy the threesome bc he hears that echoing in his head. Sorry if you're actually the balls echo guy.

hable con ella blogged out

talk to her, it will help

and if it is a fantasy of yours and she seems open to it, talk about it!

you are probably imagining this other guy as some sort of stud who managed to not only score this fantasy but did so with your now-gf. Probably best to imagine him saying something like "could you both suck my balls?" and him not being able to enjoy the threesome bc he hears that echoing in his head. Sorry if you're actually the balls echo guy.

― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, November 19, 2014 4:27 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

OTM - imagine this 'random guy' as http://i.imgur.com/0WjXjRq.jpg instead

yeah no need to get pre-emptively Prufrockian about it

Or maybe you are http://i.imgur.com/0WjXjRq.jpg? That's tough shit, man

lol

Well, while I sort of wonder why she mentioned it to you (unless you were having one of those conversations where you tell each other about your experiences, or you specifically asked her if it had ever happened), I agree that the insecurity here is on you, and that you can't hold her sexual past against her. But there's also no use in feeling guilty about feeling insecure, that's just a double-whammy of insecurity. I think it's natural for someone in your position to feel some insecurity about this. Honestly, I think everyone probably feels at least some insecurity about their partner's sexual past. You can't help but wonder at some point -- were they better than me? More exciting? Does she think about them? And there's just some primal, possessive instinct in there too, no matter how "enlightened" we think we are. I hate the kind of rhetoric that makes you feel like you're some kind of illiberal cretin for having any jealous feelings.

And with you, the feelings are especially strong because you didn't have "random hookups" as you say, so I can see how it would play on you from multiple angles: guessing you're afraid that the 'random guy' must have had some kind of sexual dynamism that you lack, since she was willing to "randomly" hook up with him but, you are presuming, wouldn't have done so with you, since you're not the kind of guy that could score "random" hookups. Of course, you don't actually know that any of this is true -- random hookups can very much just be a matter of circumstances. Maybe the girl was her good friend and the girl pressured her into it. Or maybe the guy was even kind of hot. Hot enough that she "randomly" hooked up with him. Once. A long time ago. So is that guy really a threat? She's with you.

iirc you propose a threesome with her and your comic book artist best friend? and then you all stop talking to each other forever. gl

no offence threesh & I try not to indulge in the kind of condescending tough love these advice threads invite but your whole deal here is incredibly immature as I'm sure you're well aware

if I'm understanding your (well, honestly) aside I'd suggest that sort of thinking is indicative of the problem

you crazy kids should invite hurting to be your third

would it be different if it were a freewheeling twosome

As much as reflecting insecurity, I imagine the pain is coming from hearing about this and not having had the opportunity himself. It may not be insecurity about the present as much as hurt from wanting this and not having had it, and hearing about it from the present monogamous sexual partner. If there were some safe way to get the experience, the hurt and resentment and especially the preoccupation could go away.

3some angst = humblebrag/champagne probs

I've also come to think tendency toward "random hookups" is more about temperament than attractiveness. Maybe it's just not your personality! Again, your gf is with you, there must be some reason for that.

also it sounds like she and her friend just felt curious/like experimenting?

sounds like you're projecting your own fantasies onto this dude maybe it'll help to realize that other dudes j/o to your gf like 12 times a day

xp

try to arrange one with her and someone else (which she said she might possibly be into
try to arrange one with her and someone else (which she said she might possibly be into
try to arrange one with her and someone else (which she said she might possibly be into
try to arrange one with her and someone else (which she said she might possibly be into
try to arrange one with her and someone else (which she said she might possibly be into
try to arrange one with her and someone else (which she said she might possibly be into

champagne probs for realz

bustamove.gif

B O maybe the question is do you think it's better to have a fantasy that consumes you or is it better to live the fantasy and deflate it and to never dream for ever

Maybe ur also imagining that *the kind of guy* who could have a threesome with your girlfriend AND another woman must have had the virility of two men and you're afraid that if you try it you won't measure up. And that's silly. Which is not to say you should try a threesome, but that's not a good reason not to.

did someone say threesome

I mean, if your gal talked about a mango she ate and you lived in a place with no mangos and you were in the past preoccupied with the potential taste of mango, you might get preoccupied and hurt by your gal's mango story.

but yea eazy otm, this is definitely about your own history. i was pretty much a shy dude throughout high school and college and even though i had some adventures and various partners i've never really been someone who succeeded (or even tried that much) w/ random hookups. i also have been in the same monogamous relationship since i was 21. there was a lot of work i had to do to figure out shit about my sexuality and sexual history and how it played out in other areas of my life, and whether i had regrets about that or not, and whether there is anything i can do about it now to own it. you got to own that shit and own your feelings about it. depression from a partner's past revelation can hurt but really you can use it to teach/inspire yourself about changing how you relate to your sexuality.

but if your gal said "hey, i'd be down to get some mangos, with some boundaries - they have to be safe mangos" then maybe you should take her up on that?

dying here @ mangos tbh

The issue here is that the man goes to a threesome but poor blogged out can't

I mean, if your gal talked about a mango she ate and you lived in a place with no mangos and you were in the past preoccupied with the potential taste of mango, you might get preoccupied and hurt by your gal's mango story.

what about madeleines?

i feel like any attempt to talk through my feelings with her would turn into shitty emotional manipulation of one sort or another

This is the bit you should be worried about. It doesn't sound like you're going to berate her for her past so what you're fearing is being honest with her about your own emotions - if you're worried about this turning into emotional manipulation then there's a more fundamental communication problem here.

Will help/feel less manipulative if you take the option of a threesome with her + someone else off the table entirely? Because I think you should do that.

interestingly, mangos is almost what u get when u cross me with marcos

What if she told you she salt and peppered her mango?

unconscionable realms of metaphor

blogged out is M.I.A.

fwiw if this is treesh I'm gonna devote my entire postcount to wins (I am saying that it isn't btw)

Now imagine that she shared this ripe, juicy mango with another.

mangoes in two, a bore?

what if all the mangoes were rotten

man why is everybody trying to talk him out of having some mangos? she said she likes mangos, and how exactly mangos would work for her, and he says he's been thinking about mangos for years.

acknowledging your own ego issues and understanding how much sex-related judgments stem from ghosts of stupid awful body-hating xian morality (and addressing those judgments) really opens up worlds of opportunities and freedom ime/imo. i guess it's different in str8 relationships cuz there's so much damn panopticism from others abt what is acceptable whereas gays are already marginalized by the center and hence are more free abt some things but even there those kinds of judgments enter in.

Xps I just liked the sound of "threesh" I don't think these things overmuch

acknowledging your own ego issues and understanding how much sex-related judgments stem from ghosts of stupid awful body-hating xian morality (and addressing those judgments) really opens up worlds of opportunities and freedom ime/imo.

otm

i was gonna say something but i'm not sure if it has to be about mangoes and i've lost track of where we are in the mango analogy

some mangos are bad, they can be very stringy and fibrous

is this about fucking mangoes

i can't fit two mangoes on my dick :(

some are delicious and creamy and rich. think what blogged out is saying in part is the he is scared of getting a stringy and fibrous mango

I spent a lot of time agonizing over why I didn't have "random hookups" much in college before it occurred to me one day that I didn't try for them very much.

i can't fit two mangoes on my dick :(

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, November 19, 2014 5:16 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

Perhaps you would be interested in the grapefruit blow job instead http://www.refinery29.com/2014/07/70993/grapefruit-blowjob-sex-advice

The sour green mangos you get in Thai salads are so good & somehow not stringy & fibrous at all

Before I had them I thought no-strings fruit was a male fantasy

clouds' post descends with righteous mango-puréeing force and I hope inspires blogged out to achieve consommétion

blogged out is M.I.A.

― guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, November 19, 2014 5:09 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes where are you dude?

hot chick waiting iirc

oh ha just got that, don't know if it was a deliberate joke or not

Clouds otm of course, but I wonder how much of bo's frustration is rooted in "I want this thing" vs. "I wish I had the agency to achieve this thing with my good looks and charming wit alone".

i've been in several threesomes and a couple foursomes and have had both incredible and horrible experiences, and sometimes even w/ the same partners involved. idk it's just a thing that gets hypostatized as some wild experience.

The sour green mangos you get in Thai salads are so good & somehow not stringy & fibrous at all

It could get expensive, but these too might give closure.

B O maybe the question is do you think it's better to have a fantasy that consumes you or is it better to live the fantasy and deflate it and to never dream for ever

― 龜, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 21:56 (1 hour ago)

married folk give my friend your advice (started by Bo Jackson Overdrive on board I Love Everything on 24-Jan-2008)

As long as your gf isn't pining for his dick or saying it was great or hot or anything NOW, after she has been with you, I'd say it's just best to move on.

wb deems

― imago, Wednesday, November 19, 2014 9:22 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Lel

yo, blogged, serious q, do you or have you had other obsessive thoughts abt things?

hi, sorry for taking so long to respond, lost my passsword for this acct

thanks you all for taking to time to converse about this in a way i've found very helpful, i have found some solace and understanding in some of these replies (btw, lol at "threesh", also, no) i fully realize any problem i'm facing relating to this is really nothing more than a result of depression; my thoughts are the only thing that's changed as a result of that conversation we had. anyway reading all the replies and spending a pleasant day with my girl have eased my mind a little. i haven't wanted to actually have some big deep conversation about this because she has finals this week and has been studying rorshach test administration like crazy. (i've been helping her with this and reading about other people's pathologies, or just pathology in general, also helps ease my mind sometimes) she has her last test today and i might talk with her more tonite about this if i can't stop dwelling on it. but i think that the best thing to do is probably just get over it and drop it one way or another.

i should have asked the question "should i talk to a therapist (though i don't go to therapy) about this before i talk to her?", i think that's really what i meant to ask.

some replies:

is that guy really a threat? She's with you.

i don't feel threatened in my relationship at all, my gf is more in love with me than anyone i've dated (and likewise me to her), i am just sinking into this rabbithole of regrets about my life experiences.

would it be different if it were a freewheeling twosome

i mean, yeah. i've mostly come to accept the fact that people hook up all the time and i am not one of those people. it's a little different when it intersects with a fantasy like this i think. it's something i've always thought of as inconceivable for me...

but if your gal said "hey, i'd be down to get some mangos, with some boundaries - they have to be safe mangos" then maybe you should take her up on that?

i think a big part of why i'm distraught in my contemplating this is that i think actually trying to do this now would be a bad idea in our relationship. we're both kind of insecure, it's not just me, and we have a very strong intimacy going that we both enjoy. but the alternative for me seems to be dropping the idea of it, and then dwelling on it forever...?

i feel like any attempt to talk through my feelings with her would turn into shitty emotional manipulation of one sort or another

This is the bit you should be worried about. It doesn't sound like you're going to berate her for her past so what you're fearing is being honest with her about your own emotions - if you're worried about this turning into emotional manipulation then there's a more fundamental communication problem here.

Will help/feel less manipulative if you take the option of a threesome with her + someone else off the table entirely? Because I think you should do that.

yeah, i think you nailed the issue i'm having. i don't want to talk about it because i'm scared she would want to agree to it for the wrong reasons, and we would be hit with a harder wave of emotions to deal with. i'm trying to imagine a conversation where i talk through the thoughts i'm having and then say, 'but let's not do this because it would be bad probably' without being at least a little disingenuous

acknowledging your own ego issues and understanding how much sex-related judgments stem from ghosts of stupid awful body-hating xian morality (and addressing those judgments) really opens up worlds of opportunities and freedom ime/imo. i guess it's different in str8 relationships cuz there's so much damn panopticism from others abt what is acceptable whereas gays are already marginalized by the center and hence are more free abt some things but even there those kinds of judgments enter in.

this reads like a good post but it isn't connecting with me for some reason... surely the majority of the reasons i am fixated on this are social rather than sexual or personal, but that doesn't seem to matter in my head right now.

blogged out is M.I.A.

― guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, November 19, 2014 5:09 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes where are you dude?
my bad, re-registering another account after losing my pass for this one was something i could not manage to do in the window of time i had to post about this last night.

Clouds otm of course, but I wonder how much of bo's frustration is rooted in "I want this thing" vs. "I wish I had the agency to achieve this thing with my good looks and charming wit alone".

when i read this i thought "YES, dude gets it". then i rethought that for a second and i'm like, ok, i guess what i'm experiencing is textbook entitlement. but yeah, even if i come to terms with the idea that i'm not that guy, it is such a fascinating, mind-fucking mystery how things like this occur to me. i'm scared to ask her for more details, but i feel like i need to know how it happened, like this will shine a light on some aspect of human interaction that i've always felt alien to?

idk it's just a thing that gets hypostatized as some wild experience.

well if it isn't, what is? (will not be asking my gf this, for all i know this is the tip of the iceberg. she went to U$F ffs and i know she was pretty much living that WOO COLLEGE party lifestyle for those years.)
i'm just stupid jealous that i was going to nerdy art rock shows and studiously avioding talking to girls at that point in my life (and most points in my life).

yo, blogged, serious q, do you or have you had other obsessive thoughts abt things?

i don't think i've ever latched onto something like this badly, but i definitely have the tendency to internalize things/emotions/desires and never act on them. isn't that normal? i dunno

oh yeah meant to mention somewhere in this post that i'm 29 and she's 25. maybe this is just typical mid/late 20's shit. probably it is.

thanks again guys for engaging with my immaturity, it's always better letting this bullshit out into the open.

go to a therapist yes, also if you already know you are depressed.

I went back-and-forth between this thread and the Cosby thread too quickly and thought someone was giving you the advice

if you are rich and famous ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU!! like, millions of people! for free! even weird dangerous sex or any kind of sex you can think of. people will actually let you drug them and have sex with them if you are rich and famous enough!!!

lol same exact thing happened to me

i should have asked the question "should i talk to a therapist (though i don't go to therapy) about this before i talk to her?", i think that's really what i meant to ask.

yes

@ boiv no I don't think it's textbook entitlement. I have had the experience (despite being a reasonably attractive human) that it is Impossible For My Human Mind To Get It that that my own attractiveness is something that would cause another human to respond to. (A friend or two have looked at uglykid photos of me and been like "oh I get it! I get why you're like this!")

My current 11+ year LTR was borne out of "huh?" like there is somebody who's interested in me? and any further interest expressed by third parties has been laced with the feeling that there must be something wrong with this person for them. to be interested. in me.

So yeah I was curious if your situation might be similar, that you're in a happy relationship, but that you can't help but feel a latent desire toward reinforcement-of-self-worth, that having a second woman express that desire toward you, that might be the cause of your frustration.

I don't know what it's like for MFF but MMM threesomes are only fun for the LTR in that you're "shaking things up", ime. Weird unexpected things, remembering that bodies can behave in other ways. I don't think there is any nirvana that can be achieved in having a mouth around each ball (though research persists)

At last he smiled with embarrassment and said that his wife had once gone to college and eaten mango there, and she often told him about it, and he would have to say the happiest moment of his life was her trip, and the eating of the mango.

I don't think there is any nirvana that can be achieved in having a mouth around each ball (though research persists)

beautiful, <3 u fgti

ps regarding the OP, my limited experience is 50/50 good/bad out of the two times I've tried it

in each case, right ball good, left ball bad

i have always been bad at sex jokes (and all other jokes). carry on!

are you sex at bad jokes?

i think within a one-week window in middle school i said "what is a boner?" in front of 75+ students in orchestra rehearsal, and then got punked by some kid who asked me if i knew what spooning was and then proceeded to give me an incorrect definition of spooning

http://cache4.asset-cache.net/gc/200191987-001-female-student-raising-hand-in-classroom-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=xyysMdXLY3NLiBAv4iY6urEbc7gN8BrWNRVv1cgR5MlcUw4RuQO8KD%2FIYN4zgZoE

what is a boner

Plenty of people never had a threesome, been invited to one or were interested in one but have had plenty of other sexual experiences. It never appealed to me... Taurus, INFJ I don't know. There have been times when it was suggested and I turned red both times and just sort of...left. When I hear about someone who fell in love and got married in their twenties and have been happily married 15-20 years by now, I always wonder what if I just had just not been who I was for twenty years. Pointless to go down that road. If you feel this is gnawing at you, best talk to a therapist. Don't ask for details it's all rumination. Totally think what you were doing was cooler. If it's any consolation I didn't see nearly enough shows and I have no degree. Both trump a threesome with a random in my elder opinion.

The number of people I know who have engaged in threesomes just keeps getting larger, and it continues to blow my mind.

Oh no wait, that's not my mind.

Ha!

been holding out for insurance/ job. It's the first time in my life that I am not getting jobs I apply too. That rejection has been hard as well. Find myself reading astrologyzone several times a month. Grasping. I did do some counseling through a woman's organization recently but felt the counselor wasn't getting my issues. She was a bit too aggressive for me and I sort of felt steamrolled by her ideas of me. But was that impression real or just part of my depression? Things have gone a bitower since then. Amazing what a little insurance could do. Looked into Obamacate and uh.....that won't work for me. I actually had a a small meltdown over that because for weeks I thought that would solve everything.

And that should go on another thread.

sounds sexy tho!

insurance job > [redacted]

TMI: Too Much Insurance

Threesomes are like eating 1/4 of a cake in one sitting: awesome in the moment and rich with that delicious "I can't believe I'm actually doing this!" feeling of transgression and then it's over and you feel uncomfortable and a little shamed and also you have diabetes.

found out from a mutual friend that this radical couple in our college activist group was interested in having a threesome with me. they were really intense and often caustic anarchist types that intimidated the other activists, but they were always really really sweet to me and then i found out the likely reason why. i was kind of shocked since i was just this naive freshman and didn't expect many people to be interested in me. not sure if i would have done it though - it was rumored that the guy in the couple had his dick pierced and that doesn't interest me at all.

it all depends on the three

*tera's story above built up so much tension and suspense.

Coincidental FB update from a friend:
It's so cold hell has frozen over. The only possible explanation for me eating a mango.

the warmth of cuddling up with a mango or two

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vpsTQ786_I

There's this weird delusion that str8 guys have, that when a MFF threesome occurs, it is somehow all about the super-studly babe-attracting powers of the M in the equation. Of the MFF threesomes I've had, and all the women I've talked to about random hookup threesomes, 3 times out of 4, the threesome is actually about the ~bi-curious~ (or just plain bi) desires of the women involved, and the dude involved is pretty incidental / really only there as an excuse or cover to try out lady-love.

(Long term couples I have no experience with, but others' experience indicates 50/50?)

But if you are a dude asking yourself "why am I not the kind of guy who gets to have threesomes?" it is way less about you, and way more about the women you know.

TL; DR there's no guy in threesome.

i know one (1) guy who is in a literal polyamorous relationship with two girls (all three dating each other etc) and he is a person who once yelled at me for saying "dice" when referring to a singular die

Beer and pot make the threesome more casual.