("wacky"/weird news does not apply)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donald-j-trump/my-new-golf-course-a-sour_b_323741.html
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Saturday, 17 October 2009 08:05 (3 years ago) Permalink
I was mentioned in the Press & Journal once - that should give you an idea of how prestigious Mr Trump's historian is.
Anyway, is that entire site an Onion parody?
― Ismael Klata, Saturday, 17 October 2009 10:38 (3 years ago) Permalink
lol comments
"As a leader of Intimacy Retreats and the author of Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day, I always recommend that couples schedule time for intimacy."
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Saturday, 17 October 2009 14:56 (3 years ago) Permalink
While over 90% of the locals, politicians, businesses and top historians support my project\\
lol
― Ned Trifle II, Saturday, 17 October 2009 15:02 (3 years ago) Permalink
LOL at that trump article
― a perfect urkel (gbx), Saturday, 17 October 2009 15:20 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.thedeclaration.org/article/more-just-secondhand-news
I know what you’re thinking. I don’t want to read another review of that frickken Phish show! Plus I can totally download the concert for free off the internet. HELLZ NO. Last week, I saw Fleetwood Fucking Mac, and it was the greatest night of my life, and I’m going to tell you all about how much it ruled.
― ian, Friday, 20 November 2009 03:42 (3 years ago) Permalink
― f1ocki (s1ocki), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:05 (3 years ago) Permalink
also file under "shit that looks like a hipster runoff post but isn't"
― f1ocki (s1ocki), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:06 (3 years ago) Permalink
file under 'headlines that would've made absolutely no sense to anyone 15 years ago'
― i am a big fan of japanese women (donna rouge), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:25 (3 years ago) Permalink
"Fast-growing public fighting memes" is a pretty big category.
― Dark Notion (Abbott), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:26 (3 years ago) Permalink
can you imagine actually reading an explanation of why this particular public fight meme has had an accelerated rate of adoption compared to other public fight memes?
― f1ocki (s1ocki), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:32 (3 years ago) Permalink
Is there even another public fight meme other than bumfights? I remember that grew pretty fast...
― As your Dentist I recommend smoking: (Viceroy), Saturday, 20 February 2010 19:03 (3 years ago) Permalink
pretty much every article by the DPRK's news service
― we like the cars. the cars that go burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb. (los blue jeans), Saturday, 20 February 2010 19:41 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.forbes.com/2010/02/23/flint-autos-toyota-business-recall.html?boxes=Homepagelighttop
― pithfork (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 23:16 (3 years ago) Permalink
― pithfork (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 23:17 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/309172,report-taxi-driver-remake-mulled-by-scorcese-von-trier.html
― that guy who doesn't get it but doesn't know he doesn't get it (M.V.), Wednesday, 24 February 2010 14:04 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-silicone-bullet25-2010feb25,0,1532754.story
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 February 2010 03:42 (3 years ago) Permalink
no, von trier, nooooooo!
― Nhex, Thursday, 25 February 2010 04:54 (3 years ago) Permalink
― badg, Thursday, 25 February 2010 05:14 (3 years ago) Permalink
Grandpa Wins $10000 iTunes Gift Card
― this is awful I want Togo home (harbl), Friday, 26 February 2010 12:44 (3 years ago) Permalink
"Socially alert student poet unimpressed by conformity"
― fat ass idiot butt munch (PappaWheelie V), Friday, 26 February 2010 18:12 (3 years ago) Permalink
I would like to see von Trier incorporate all these stories into his Taxi Driver remake.
― that guy who doesn't get it but doesn't know he doesn't get it (M.V.), Friday, 26 February 2010 18:16 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254205/High-noon-Stamford-Bridge-John-Terry-comes-face-face-man-betrayed-shake-hands.html
The entire dailymail site had some choice cuts but I went with this one.
― RubyNoir, Saturday, 27 February 2010 16:33 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/pennsylvania/20100228_Thieves_take_jewelry__leave_child_at_Phila__store.html
― StanM, Sunday, 28 February 2010 20:07 (3 years ago) Permalink
lol @ comments on stan's article.
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Sunday, 28 February 2010 20:50 (3 years ago) Permalink
i like to read this thread title like:
shit! that looks like an onion article but isn't
― bracken free ditch (Ste), Sunday, 28 February 2010 21:07 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/03/22/real.men.eat.salad/index.html?hpt=Mid
(CNN) -- Real men eat salads. I know this because I am a dude. Right now, in my fridge, I have five bottles of hot sauce, a jar of Cheez Whiz and half a pack of hot dogs. But recently I went to lunch with a couple of buds, and I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard.
It was a basic frissée salad with bacon, shallots and a poached egg, tossed in a light vinaigrette. Frissée is a curly, toothsome leaf, bitter enough to balance bacon and egg but still possessed of a pleasant spring.
My friends laughed at me. They pointed. One ordered a burger, the other fried calamari. I was chastised for not eating "man food."
For those of you who aren't familiar with this gender normative term, "man food" is food that you'd imagine a lumberjack or a cowboy or a Viking would eat. Towers of butter-soaked pancakes. Pots of napalm-hot chili. Meat on a bone.
Thoroughly unsubtle, "man food" is rustic fare meant to satisfy a hearty appetite. Quantity is prized over quality. Calories are "fun points." The more "fun points," the tastier the belly filler.
But sometimes a dude needs a change. Specifically, a salad. A fresh, crisp, crunchy salad. Salads offer breathers between manly meals. Spinach, cucumber, tomato, red onions, mushrooms, chickpeas, oil and vinegar -- that is my usual jam.
I don't need any fancy, goopy dressings compromising my vegetables. (What does a ranch actually taste like, anyway?) Sometimes, I might throw some almonds or walnuts up in there. I've been known to be down with blueberries and mandarin oranges. I like bacon or grilled chicken on occasion. I am not a fan of unnecessary carbs like croutons. And then there are those moments I go crazy and get a frissée freakin' salad.
I didn't evolve without help. There was a time where, if I cut myself shaving, I'd bleed sausage gravy. My heart squeezed more than it pumped. And I also grew what I call "fat wings."
Luckily, the woman I was dating at that time didn't like any of those things. Being able to sit in a bathtub full of buffalo wings is every dude's birthright, but I eventually learned that being attractive for your significant other is also pretty manly.
My girlfriend was a smart woman and didn't bring up my devolving into a human biscuit. What she did was announce that we were going to save money so that Saturday nights, we could go to the local barbecue joint and destroy some cow with our faces.
Obviously, my first thought was, "Aww, she wants me to help her lose weight." So I humored her. She came home from the supermarket with a stack of plastic disposable containers. In each, she put one potential salad ingredient. Not only the ones that would become my favorite but kidney beans, green peppers, corn and pepperoni slices.
She created a mini-salad bar in our fridge. It was easy, and I was told I could eat as much as I wanted. This became my lunch and occasional dinner.
You know what? We saved money. I lost weight. Gained energy. And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.
I kept this up this salad-centric diet for months. My friends would come over to watch a fight or brawl on the PlayStation, and I'd meet them at the door with a salad in my hand.
The landlord would need my help with some drywall; I'd put my salad down.
At work, I'd articulate corporate strategy during lunch meetings spearing cucumbers in my lucky bowl of awesome salad. I made eating salad sexy. I made it macho, macho.
Is it rabbit food? Friend, if it's rabbit food, then that rabbit is the size of a ferocious bear.
My friends poked fun at me as I munched on my fancy salad. It was tasty. I love how the warm yolk from the poached egg lightly coated the frissée, adding a dimension of hardiness to a dish with such leafy bounce. And the bacon chunks added just the right amount of fatty salt, more sturdy ballast. I wiped my mouth.
We were out celebrating one guy's birthday. The other guy, an old friend from college, was "in-between gigs." It had been another tough year. "Salad is not man food," they mocked. Oh, but it is. I ordered a final round of beers. Then I picked up the check.
Are salads manly? What is the manliest salad? Are you the sort of guy who wouldn't touch a salad if a gun was put to his head? Tell us in the comments whether you think salads can count as "man food."
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:33 (3 years ago) Permalink
where to start
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:38 (3 years ago) Permalink
I love how the warm yolk from the poached egg lightly coated the frissée, adding a dimension of hardiness to a dish with such leafy bounce. And the bacon chunks added just the right amount of fatty salt, more sturdy ballast. I wiped my mouth.
YUM YUM
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:38 (3 years ago) Permalink
Is that an Anderson Cooper piece?
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:40 (3 years ago) Permalink
Being able to sit in a bathtub full of buffalo wings is every dude's birthright
Who does this?
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:41 (3 years ago) Permalink
why doesnt he just call it a salad lyonnaise
― max, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:42 (3 years ago) Permalink
good salad btw--i saw jacques pepin make one once on PBS, he poached the egg in like 2 inches of olive oil
― max, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:43 (3 years ago) Permalink
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, March 23, 2010 4:38 PM
I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard.
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:44 (3 years ago) Permalink
"Salad is not man food," they mocked. Oh, but it is. I ordered a final round of beers. Then I picked up the check.
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:45 (3 years ago) Permalink
pooping before bathing in your tub of buffalo wings
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:46 (3 years ago) Permalink
but what about:
And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:46 (3 years ago) Permalink
And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.
xpost HA!
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:46 (3 years ago) Permalink
Calories are "fun points." The more "fun points," the tastier the belly filler.
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:47 (3 years ago) Permalink
"""""""""fun points"""""""""
this guy needs to advertise his services, like:
john devore, a local "dude," will talk to you about what is manly and how it is different from what you might think.
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:48 (3 years ago) Permalink
first of all, i want to know why this is on cnn.com? what is the market for this? do people read articles on cnn.com aside from actual news?
secondly, how is it that articles like this get pitched/accepted/assigned like... 5 years after a meme like "man food" became a "thing". if you had shown the text of this to me undated i would've been all "no way this was written after 2005, not a chance"
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:48 (3 years ago) Permalink
had no idea that calories were fun points. i mean, i like fun!
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:49 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.esquire.com/blogs/lists/reasons-why-chocolate-drink-yoohoo-rocks-blog
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:49 (3 years ago) Permalink
Maybe once age and decrepitude have strip-mined by palette, I'll think about swilling a Yoo-Hoo. The risk-taking of a convalescent. But even then, I doubt I'll wrap my wrinkled lips around a Yoo-Hoo jar.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/lists/reasons-why-chocolate-drink-yoohoo-rocks-blog#ixzz0j2EUvn70
someone get howie long to comment on this
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:50 (3 years ago) Permalink
uuuuuuuuuuughh did he really say "whoopee time" -- was this even edited? C'MON MAN
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:50 (3 years ago) Permalink
okay, so maybe it's satire!
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:51 (3 years ago) Permalink
maybe?
no
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:51 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.johndevore.com/
i mean look at the guy
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:52 (3 years ago) Permalink
he says he's a satirist so it must be satire
― harbl, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:52 (3 years ago) Permalink
take him down on twitter j0rdan s. like you took down JOSE CANSECO
i have to know if he has kids
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:53 (3 years ago) Permalink
is it possible that he trojan horsed cnn?
He's Facebook friends with ghost rider.
― jam master (jaymc), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:54 (3 years ago) Permalink
lol.
how's your little mansalad there, john.
― gelatinous rube (brownie), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:55 (3 years ago) Permalink
Editor's note: John DeVore is a former editor at Maxim magazine and maxim.com and former host of "The DeVore and Diana Show" on Sirius XM radio. He currently offers man-centric perspectives as a columnist at Guyspeak.com and TheFrisky.com. He's a lifelong food freak and yo-yo dieter and speaks fluent "dude."
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:56 (3 years ago) Permalink
hmmmm
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:58 (3 years ago) Permalink
omg fuck this guy
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:59 (3 years ago) Permalink
shit that looks like an onion website but isn't
http://www.guyspeak.com/
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:01 (3 years ago) Permalink
If a guy confines a girl to the friend zone, does that always mean he finds her unattractive?Panama Jackson answered this question on March 23, 2010 12:00 PM
Not at all. You can be the most attractive woman on Earth and be relegated to the friend zone. You see, you might ALSO be batsh*t crazy. There's no easier way to end up in the friend zone then pure insanity.
You see, ugly women end up in the friend zone by default. They don't get put there. They just live there because most men will not attempt to romance or win the love of a busted broad.
And even still, attractive women pretty much have to go way far out there to end up in the friend zone. Men will put up with a lot from attractive women. We'll deal with her strange comments and terrible taste in music. We'll build really big wooden horses and storm beaches until one of our homeboy's gets shot in his why-are-you-famous achilles heel. But there is always a point where you've gone too far. And it varies by man.
For instance, I couldn't deal with a really hot chick that got violent after being drunk. And I mean violent with pool sticks and throwing kettles into pots to make formal introductions.
So inconclusion, read my lips. If you're in the friend zone, it's probably not just because you are unattractive. You might be hot. It's probably because you are insane.
Thank you and good night.
It was written.
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:02 (3 years ago) Permalink
oh dear God
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:02 (3 years ago) Permalink
lol oh boy
http://www.guyspeak.com/personas/reformed-player/
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:04 (3 years ago) Permalink
o_O
― harbl, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:04 (3 years ago) Permalink
Didn't Dave Eggers used to freelance/edit Maxim or some lad mag?
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:37 (3 years ago) Permalink
Esquire
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:40 (3 years ago) Permalink
Eggers worked briefly at Esquire, which is a men's magazine but a touch classier than Maxim.
― jam master (jaymc), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:41 (3 years ago) Permalink
That seems a bit like saying Playboy is a touch classier than Juggs.
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:52 (3 years ago) Permalink
esquire occasionally has some good stuff
― just sayin, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:53 (3 years ago) Permalink
Esquire used to (and maybe still does) run fiction and long form essays--don't think Maxim ever has. Esquire has gotten a lot trashier in the past few years, but still.
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 21:54 (3 years ago) Permalink
maxim = #1 source for biting satire
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 22:18 (3 years ago) Permalink
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 22:20 (3 years ago) Permalink
This guy's shit reads so much like he's trying to overcompensate for complete lack of balls imo.
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 00:09 (3 years ago) Permalink
IM A MAN WOMEN ARE CRAZY SLUTS PS I EAT SALAD
I mean wtf.
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 00:10 (3 years ago) Permalink
For those of you who aren't familiar with this gender normative term
glad this guy went to college!
― it is just like an unknown puzzle till the end of the world (dyao), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 01:14 (3 years ago) Permalink
lollll
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 02:12 (3 years ago) Permalink
Police: Shirtless man with sword 'hunting werewolves'
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 15:54 (3 years ago) Permalink
Should we tell Mr. Smedley?
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 15:57 (3 years ago) Permalink
Schizophrenic, Psychotic or Meth?
― Il suffit de ne pas l'envier (Michael White), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:01 (3 years ago) Permalink
Why not a trifecta, really.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:03 (3 years ago) Permalink
now why would you make fun of someone who's trying to protect us all?
― ksh, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:03 (3 years ago) Permalink
I'm philolycanthropic that way.
― Il suffit de ne pas l'envier (Michael White), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:04 (3 years ago) Permalink
The man disarmed himself without incident
Given the circumstances, a certain Monty Python sketch comes to mind.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 16:05 (3 years ago) Permalink
hey look esquire still publishes fiction. and look who it is. Mr. Columbia MFA program
http://www.esquire.com/fiction/james-franco-fiction-0410
― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:36 (3 years ago) Permalink
saw that in the magazine, quit reading when I saw:
Joe sucks off his cigarette.
Aside from general juvenile LOLs I can't believe no one in his MFA program or at Esquire saw that and suggested he look for an alternate phrasing.
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:38 (3 years ago) Permalink
that has to be intentionally worded that way
― ksh, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:40 (3 years ago) Permalink
gee, do you think
― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:41 (3 years ago) Permalink
Do any of you feel like correcting Mr. Franco's work like that one guy did to Dan Brown?
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 18:47 (3 years ago) Permalink
its not all that bad a story? i dont know if it wouldve been published if it werent franco but really its not dan brown-level
― max, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 19:52 (3 years ago) Permalink
not very onion-esque either
― ☀☃ (am0n), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 19:58 (3 years ago) Permalink
sorry am0n
― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 24 March 2010 20:05 (3 years ago) Permalink
;-)
― ☀☃ (am0n), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 20:28 (3 years ago) Permalink
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, March 24, 2010 11:54 AM
haha C.H.U.D.s
― ☀☃ (am0n), Wednesday, 24 March 2010 20:33 (3 years ago) Permalink
the black gaping gap
― W i l l, Thursday, 25 March 2010 14:28 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/terrorism-in-the-uk/7510350/Terrorists-could-use-exploding-breast-implants-to-blow-up-jet.html
― Roz, Thursday, 25 March 2010 21:13 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://htmlgiant.com/craft-notes/james-franco-edited-by-the-tyrant/#more-30210
― Mr. Que, Friday, 26 March 2010 19:00 (3 years ago) Permalink
― it is just like an unknown puzzle till the end of the world (dyao), Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:07 (3 years ago) Permalink
That's kind of like the onion though - it's a funny campaign by a dairy consortium (you're weak because you don't drink enough milk, etc).
― StanM, Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:11 (3 years ago) Permalink
haha, so it is
― it is just like an unknown puzzle till the end of the world (dyao), Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:13 (3 years ago) Permalink
I kept on thinking though, if it's gonna take 2-30 weeks for delivery, that milk is going to be pretty gross by the time it gets to you
― it is just like an unknown puzzle till the end of the world (dyao), Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:14 (3 years ago) Permalink
man, milk be doing virals huh?
― forksclovetofu, Sunday, 28 March 2010 14:14 (3 years ago) Permalink
Pizza Pizza Royalty Income Fund and Pizza Pizza Limited Announce the Passing of Pizza Pizza's Chief Executive Officer 8:16 AM EST
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 31 March 2010 16:32 (3 years ago) Permalink
Spotting this in the print edition today:http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/medicine/article7080666.ece
Perhaps a bit more Iannucci than Onion.
― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 31 March 2010 16:34 (3 years ago) Permalink
Police sting involving rabbit costume sparks criticism in Glendale.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 April 2010 17:35 (3 years ago) Permalink
“One of the violators said he was confused by it,” Sgt. Dennis Smith told the News-Press. “He said he hopped in front of him.”
― goole, Thursday, 1 April 2010 17:39 (3 years ago) Permalink
If only they had picked a bee costume for their sting, it would have been a lot less confusing.
― StanM, Thursday, 1 April 2010 18:07 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/27/mia.music.video/index.html?hpt=T2
M.I.A. music video elicits strong online responseBy Lisa Respers France, CNN(CNN) -- If singer/rapper M.I.A.'s purpose was to get people talking about her new single "Born Free," she succeeded.The Sri Lankan-born artist debuted the graphic video on Monday. Immediately, fans took to social media to debate its scenes of military force, violence and brutality."M.I.A. is a provocateur and someone who tries to rile people up in a variety of ways," said Saul Austerlitz, author of "Money for Nothing: A History of the Music Video from the Beatles to the White Stripes.""I think one of the main routes that she takes to that end is the political, and this video has a lot of political resonances, things like Guantanamo, the Iraqi insurgency and the Taliban all sort of jumbled together and rebranded."The almost nine-minute video for the song from her upcoming album includes nudity as well as scenes of brutality. Directed by filmmaker Romain Gavras, the video revolves around the rounding up of red-headed young men by a group of military commandos.At one point, a boy is shot point-blank in the head and another young man is blown to pieces. YouTube reportedly yanked the video in light of its content.Sasha Pasulka, managing editor for pop culture website "Evil Beet," said M.I.A. couldn't have played the publicity game better."It's much better for her that YouTube pulled it because now she gets to rant about that," Pasulka said.And rant the artist did. She took to her official Twitter account to berate her record label, Universal Music Group, for the video being pulled."(Expletive) UMG WHO WONT SHOW IT ON YOUTUBE!" she wrote before tweeting four minutes later "OK NOT UMG FAULT!"A request by CNN for comment from M.I.A.'s publicist did not receive a response.Pasulka said M.I.A. is following the tradition established by artists such as Michael Jackson in using a longer video as a means of artistic expression. And while it is not clear exactly what message M.I.A. is trying to get across, Pasulka said it is obvious she is trying to provoke thought among viewers."If you look at M.I.A.'s life, there is a history of political activism," Pasulka said. "She's the daughter of a revolutionary who fought for an independent state in Sri Lanka, so she is obviously trying to make a political statement."On Twitter, fans like one who goes by the moniker "ziggy0stardust" appealed to the artist for her inspiration by writing "@ M.I.A. can u tell us what u were tryin (sic) to say wiv (sic) the born free vid please" while other reactions ranged from those like "Hadge" who wrote "I just watched M.I.A.'s new music video for "Born Free" and now I feel like throwing up. What an awful, awful video" to those like SEFGray who tweeted "M.I.A's Born Free video blew me away, along with the actors."MTV.com writer James Montgomery hailed M.I.A. for the unflinching video."Yes, it's brutal and at times a bit overly dramatic, but it's also a form of political protest, a downright subversive bit of art created by an artist on a major label, Interscope," Montgomery wrote.Austerlitz pointed out that the video's director is the son of Costa Gavras, a noted filmmaker whose work has also blended politics and entertainment. M.I.A.'s video also took inspiration from the 1971 film "Punishment Park," written and directed by Peter Watkins, Austerlitz said."['Punishment Park' is] a movie about a totalitarian state where young people are rounded up, brought out to a deserted area and essentially told if they could outrun the police, they could live, but that the police would basically be hunting them," Austerlitz said."It's sort of a dystopian look at late '60s American protests and student movements," Austerlitz added. "It's clear that the second half of the video has been taken almost shot for shot from that film.In an age where so many musicians are trying to break free from the pack and be viewed as artists with something to say, Pasulka said M.I.A. may have succeeded in generating even more buzz than the industry's current poster girl for all things provocative -- Lady GaGa."I would say she out-GaGaed Lady GaGa," Pasulka said. "This has the potential for even more coverage than all of the interest that surrounded 'Telephone.' "
By Lisa Respers France, CNN
(CNN) -- If singer/rapper M.I.A.'s purpose was to get people talking about her new single "Born Free," she succeeded.
The Sri Lankan-born artist debuted the graphic video on Monday. Immediately, fans took to social media to debate its scenes of military force, violence and brutality.
"M.I.A. is a provocateur and someone who tries to rile people up in a variety of ways," said Saul Austerlitz, author of "Money for Nothing: A History of the Music Video from the Beatles to the White Stripes."
"I think one of the main routes that she takes to that end is the political, and this video has a lot of political resonances, things like Guantanamo, the Iraqi insurgency and the Taliban all sort of jumbled together and rebranded."
The almost nine-minute video for the song from her upcoming album includes nudity as well as scenes of brutality. Directed by filmmaker Romain Gavras, the video revolves around the rounding up of red-headed young men by a group of military commandos.
At one point, a boy is shot point-blank in the head and another young man is blown to pieces. YouTube reportedly yanked the video in light of its content.
Sasha Pasulka, managing editor for pop culture website "Evil Beet," said M.I.A. couldn't have played the publicity game better.
"It's much better for her that YouTube pulled it because now she gets to rant about that," Pasulka said.
And rant the artist did. She took to her official Twitter account to berate her record label, Universal Music Group, for the video being pulled.
"(Expletive) UMG WHO WONT SHOW IT ON YOUTUBE!" she wrote before tweeting four minutes later "OK NOT UMG FAULT!"
A request by CNN for comment from M.I.A.'s publicist did not receive a response.
Pasulka said M.I.A. is following the tradition established by artists such as Michael Jackson in using a longer video as a means of artistic expression. And while it is not clear exactly what message M.I.A. is trying to get across, Pasulka said it is obvious she is trying to provoke thought among viewers.
"If you look at M.I.A.'s life, there is a history of political activism," Pasulka said. "She's the daughter of a revolutionary who fought for an independent state in Sri Lanka, so she is obviously trying to make a political statement."
On Twitter, fans like one who goes by the moniker "ziggy0stardust" appealed to the artist for her inspiration by writing "@ M.I.A. can u tell us what u were tryin (sic) to say wiv (sic) the born free vid please" while other reactions ranged from those like "Hadge" who wrote "I just watched M.I.A.'s new music video for "Born Free" and now I feel like throwing up. What an awful, awful video" to those like SEFGray who tweeted "M.I.A's Born Free video blew me away, along with the actors."
MTV.com writer James Montgomery hailed M.I.A. for the unflinching video.
"Yes, it's brutal and at times a bit overly dramatic, but it's also a form of political protest, a downright subversive bit of art created by an artist on a major label, Interscope," Montgomery wrote.
Austerlitz pointed out that the video's director is the son of Costa Gavras, a noted filmmaker whose work has also blended politics and entertainment. M.I.A.'s video also took inspiration from the 1971 film "Punishment Park," written and directed by Peter Watkins, Austerlitz said.
"['Punishment Park' is] a movie about a totalitarian state where young people are rounded up, brought out to a deserted area and essentially told if they could outrun the police, they could live, but that the police would basically be hunting them," Austerlitz said.
"It's sort of a dystopian look at late '60s American protests and student movements," Austerlitz added. "It's clear that the second half of the video has been taken almost shot for shot from that film.
In an age where so many musicians are trying to break free from the pack and be viewed as artists with something to say, Pasulka said M.I.A. may have succeeded in generating even more buzz than the industry's current poster girl for all things provocative -- Lady GaGa.
"I would say she out-GaGaed Lady GaGa," Pasulka said. "This has the potential for even more coverage than all of the interest that surrounded 'Telephone.' "
― by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 02:50 (3 years ago) Permalink
key passage:
And while it is not clear exactly what message M.I.A. is trying to get across, Pasulka said it is obvious she is trying to provoke thought among viewers."If you look at M.I.A.'s life, there is a history of political activism," Pasulka said. "She's the daughter of a revolutionary who fought for an independent state in Sri Lanka, so she is obviously trying to make a political statement."
― by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 02:51 (3 years ago) Permalink
"...Continued Pasulka, 'We just don't know what about.'"
Can we quit acting all surprised that an artist would make a vague and unreadable political statement?
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 02:53 (3 years ago) Permalink
can we quit acting like it is acceptable for an artist to make a vague and unreadable political statement
― stars on ?boardid=45 (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 05:57 (3 years ago) Permalink
why should we?
― board free (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:06 (3 years ago) Permalink
i love that Green Day can makes two critically acclaimed albums of vague political statements but everyone's up M.I.A.'s ass
― board free (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:07 (3 years ago) Permalink
i think a lot of people were up green day's ass, unless you discount, like, rolling stone & spin
― ibaka flocka flame (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:09 (3 years ago) Permalink
like, the whole of this message board, for instance
― ibaka flocka flame (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:10 (3 years ago) Permalink
Green Day never tweeted something like:
P4KTWITTERTAKEOVA M.I.A AYAMMAYA CONNECTED TO THE GOOGLE CONNECTED TO THE GOVERNMENT _IVVVVI____SIGNIN OFF http://twitpic.com/1iqlnk #miap4k
iirc
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:13 (3 years ago) Permalink
R MY C/LOK KEYS REALLY REALLY REALLLLLLLLLLY OFFENDING U OK ILL TAKE THEM OFF ▖ ▗ ▘ ▙ ▚ ▛ ▜ ▝ ▞ ▟ ▀▖ ▗ ▘ ▙ ▚ ▛ ▜ ▝ ▞ ▟ ▀▁ ▂ ▃ ▆ ▇ █ #miap4k
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:14 (3 years ago) Permalink
god it's 2:15 AM why am i awake
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:15 (3 years ago) Permalink
i don't see the connection, but in the defense of the twitter thing, like, her publicist obv pretty much forced her to tweet all day from pitchfork's twitter, so i think we can ease up on the "omg mia is being so retarded!" aspect of that whole stunt
― ibaka flocka flame (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:16 (3 years ago) Permalink
not sure what i would've done in the same situation, is what i'm saying -- probably tweeted in oj da juiceman patois
chewbacca flocka flame
― board free (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:18 (3 years ago) Permalink
i don't see the connection
there was none, i'm just exhausted and should've been in bed two hours ago
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:18 (3 years ago) Permalink
i have no idea what i would've done if i had the reigns of their twitter -- link to some good metal, maybe?
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:19 (3 years ago) Permalink
yeah, seriously.
telling people abut bands you like instead of just shouting fucking gibberish in all caps would be an awesome start
― board free (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:22 (3 years ago) Permalink
yeah. or books! or painters! or something!
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:33 (3 years ago) Permalink
websites! videos! an infinite list of stuff
― ksh, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:34 (3 years ago) Permalink
yeah, you know I love green day more than M.I.A.!!!!!!!
― stars on ?boardid=45 (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 06:42 (3 years ago) Permalink
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, April 27, 2010 9:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark
i was more just amused by the hapless tone of that article and the quotes from the "music video expert" within it.
― by another name (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 08:17 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/international/sniper_kills_qaeda_from_mi_away_sTm0xFUmJNal3HgWlmEgRL
― rent, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 12:53 (3 years ago) Permalink
omg @ first line
― Fetchboy, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:02 (3 years ago) Permalink
comments on that story are :/
― peacocks, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:05 (3 years ago) Permalink
but yes, the first line is amazing.
― peacocks, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:06 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://techcrunch.com/2010/04/11/dear-authors-your-next-book-should-be-an-app-not-an-ibook/
― nitzer Ed (s1ocki), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:15 (3 years ago) Permalink
dear cody brown: stfu
― max, Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:40 (3 years ago) Permalink
ahahaha that is bringing the serious lols
What do you think would have happened if George Orwell had the iPad? Do you think he would have written for print then copy and pasted his story into the iBookstore? If this didn’t work out well, do you think he would have complained that there aren’t any serious-readers anymore? No. He would have looked at the medium, then blown our minds....Why not make it like a game so that in order to get to the next ‘chapter’ you need to pass a test? Does the content of the book even need to be created entirely by me? Can I leave some parts of it open to edit by those who buy it and read it? Do I need to charge $9.99, or can I charge $99.99?...I’m 21
...
Why not make it like a game so that in order to get to the next ‘chapter’ you need to pass a test? Does the content of the book even need to be created entirely by me? Can I leave some parts of it open to edit by those who buy it and read it? Do I need to charge $9.99, or can I charge $99.99?
I’m 21
― going non-native (dyao), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 13:53 (3 years ago) Permalink
He would have looked at the medium, then blown our minds.
i mean, just looked at it.
― by another name (amateurist), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 14:04 (3 years ago) Permalink
I mean I don't necessarily disagree with him and look forward to the creation of new mediums for art & expression but are you really gonna big up GEORGE ORWELL as some sort of misunderstood literary anarchist who just didn't have the proper tools to express himself with at the time
― going non-native (dyao), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 14:07 (3 years ago) Permalink
if only John Betjeman had had the chance to write interactive e-poems with jaunty animated buttons, popup quizzes and livejournal-synced polls
― xylyl syzygy (a passing spacecadet), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 14:12 (3 years ago) Permalink
imagine if james joyce has had access to the internet
― scrappy dyaoo (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 14:29 (3 years ago) Permalink
if only george orwell had the means to charge $99.99 for his books :(
― nitzer Ed (s1ocki), Tuesday, 4 May 2010 16:07 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.press-citizen.com/article/20100505/NEWS01/5050323/1079
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 5 May 2010 19:29 (3 years ago) Permalink
He would have looked at the medium, then blown our minds.i mean, just looked at it.
― Adam Bruneau, Wednesday, 5 May 2010 20:05 (3 years ago) Permalink
Records also show that Poulson was cited for assault in 2007 for throwing a dead cat through a McDonald's drive-through window in Cedar Rapids in late 2006.
― Fetchboy, Thursday, 6 May 2010 07:56 (3 years ago) Permalink
okay that is funny
― it means "EMOTIONAL"! (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 May 2010 14:44 (3 years ago) Permalink
orwell probably just woulda been an awesome blogger
― iatee, Thursday, 6 May 2010 14:56 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/special/opinions/outlook/spring-cleaning/internet-memes.html
(Please note the identity of the author at the end of the article.)
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 May 2010 21:30 (3 years ago) Permalink
― abanana, Saturday, 8 May 2010 10:55 (3 years ago) Permalink
The fuck.
― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 9 May 2010 03:06 (3 years ago) Permalink
quiddities and agonies etc
― Did you in fact lift my luggage (dyao), Sunday, 9 May 2010 03:30 (3 years ago) Permalink
That would be my favorite Onion article ever, if it indeed was one. Instead I'm just sitting here shaking my head and quietly weeping.
― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Sunday, 9 May 2010 03:50 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://events.nytimes.com/2010/05/12/dining/reviews/12rest.html
No reservations are taken, so unless you eat in daylight or draw good luck, there’s going to be a wait for a table, time spent standing at a bar that was crowded when you arrived and will be when you leave. Also, as the waiters will tell you when you do get a seat, the food comes out when the kitchen prepares it, according to the kitchen’s own needs and schedule, which means there is no real structure to the meals.
― (latebloomer) (latebloomer), Thursday, 13 May 2010 02:21 (3 years ago) Permalink
just now on google news:
"Why My Skinny Jeans Don't Give You the Right to Rape Me "
― call all destroyer, Thursday, 13 May 2010 17:43 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.boingboing.net/2010/05/13/bootsy-collins-launc.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+boingboing/iBag+(Boing+Boing)
Because a groove is a terrible thing to waste, this sonic learning institution will be unlike anything before, as Professor Collins and the finest bassists in music will unleash an intense curriculum, on the web, for intermediate to advanced funk disciples within the program.
― NUDE. MAYNE. (s1ocki), Friday, 14 May 2010 15:24 (3 years ago) Permalink
i mean that's like a whisker away from http://www.theonion.com/articles/national-funk-congress-deadlocked-on-get-upget-dow,625/ and http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinton-threatens-to-drop-da-bomb-on-iraq,787/
― NUDE. MAYNE. (s1ocki), Friday, 14 May 2010 15:25 (3 years ago) Permalink
Supernova is rich in calcium.
So drink some every day.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 20 May 2010 04:36 (3 years ago) Permalink
Gillard takes the biscuit
Julia Gillard is the deputy prime minister of Australia, Joe Hockey is shadow minister for finance and quite a stout man.
― badg, Friday, 4 June 2010 01:47 (2 years ago) Permalink
― surfer blood for oil (Hurting 2), Thursday, 1 July 2010 19:55 (2 years ago) Permalink
Hahahah
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
i just... i just...
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:01 (2 years ago) Permalink
hahhahahahahahah
― _▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:10 (2 years ago) Permalink
Oh shit :0
― kkvgz, Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:18 (2 years ago) Permalink
― _▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:40 (2 years ago) Permalink
Hey don't laugh at other countries! Thats so typical of us North Africans.
― Evan, Thursday, 1 July 2010 21:19 (2 years ago) Permalink
North America, er, Africa, looks kind of like a velociraptor as it is.
― surfer blood for oil (Hurting 2), Thursday, 1 July 2010 21:31 (2 years ago) Permalink
I always thought North America looks like a Harpy Eagle with South America in its talons
― Jarlrmai, Thursday, 1 July 2010 22:15 (2 years ago) Permalink
it kind of is iirc
― pass le corbusier (s1ocki), Saturday, 3 July 2010 17:20 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://www.connecttristates.com/news/story.aspx?id=491087
Giving people a ride for free is illegal.
― StanM, Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:22 (2 years ago) Permalink
Ass, gas, or grass
― no gut busting joke can change history (polyphonic), Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:26 (2 years ago) Permalink
haha wait
― Mayor Hickenlooper and the liberal agenda (HI DERE), Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:29 (2 years ago) Permalink
Holy. Fucking. Shit. They should give that guy some kind of civic medal, not lock him up.
― Chicago to Philadelphia: "Suck It" (Bill Magill), Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:30 (2 years ago) Permalink
SISSI said: Yesterday at 10:49 PMOOOH I FEEL ALOT SAFER NOW THAT HE IS OFF THE STREETS...WHEN ARE THE QUINCY POLICE OFFICERS GOING TO QUIT ACTING LIKE MALL COPS AND START CATCHING REAL CRIMINALS...THIS MAN IS ONLY TRYING TO KEEP DRUNK DRIVERS OFF THE ROAD..MAYBE IF THE TAXICABS WOULD RUN AT THE TIME THEY ARE NEEDED THIS WOULDNT BE A PROBLEM...I'M JUST SAYING...
SISSI OTMFM
― Specify music my dick hair (Phil D.), Tuesday, 3 August 2010 20:31 (2 years ago) Permalink
Putin fires darts at gray whale from crossbow
what the fuck
― dayo, Thursday, 26 August 2010 00:17 (2 years ago) Permalink
Sergei34 31 minutes ago Report AbuseGreatest leader in History. No gay parades No Outsourcing jobs no Illegals just Slavic Power. Christianity in all schools. An invincible military No1 in Oil Gas and 3 in wheat except this yr just temporary. A 14 percent tax on all incomes not 40 like the West Slava Russia
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 26 August 2010 01:02 (2 years ago) Permalink
When the boat skidded onto the beach, a buoyant Putin hopped off and made a beeline for waiting reporters. Clearly in his element, Putin replied jovially to a question as to whether the endeavor was dangerous.
"Living in general is dangerous," he quipped.
― casual rigmarole, Thursday, 26 August 2010 19:38 (2 years ago) Permalink
putin kind of otm there
― Cunga, Thursday, 26 August 2010 19:41 (2 years ago) Permalink
Oh this is tacky.
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/pawprintpost/post/2010/09/dog-dies-in-hot-car-while-owner-tours-holocaust-museum/1
― blood and organs, cruelty and decay (kenan), Saturday, 4 September 2010 16:20 (2 years ago) Permalink
No1 in Oil Gas and 3 in wheat except this yr just temporary.
― dy (max) ia (crüt), Saturday, 4 September 2010 16:27 (2 years ago) Permalink
Pope's astronomer says he would baptise an alien
― (+) (+ +), Friday, 17 September 2010 15:43 (2 years ago) Permalink
An alien – 'no matter how many tentacles it has' – could have a soul, says pope's astronomer
― I will always think of you, while (quite) fondly, myself (Evan), Friday, 17 September 2010 16:25 (2 years ago) Permalink
This sounded like one of their op-ed pieces:
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 17 September 2010 16:31 (2 years ago) Permalink
If only the owner had heeded the warning of the Scottish indie band.
― jaymc, Friday, 17 September 2010 16:32 (2 years ago) Permalink
lol, the Waters headline just needs to be read in a slightly different inflection to be hilarious
― Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 September 2010 16:33 (2 years ago) Permalink
Again, I'm doing the what now?
― http://tinyurl.com/vrrr0000m (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 17 September 2010 16:39 (2 years ago) Permalink
the Waters one reminds me of this:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-know-i-used-to-be-kind-of-cool-once,10932/
― Darin, Friday, 17 September 2010 18:21 (2 years ago) Permalink
I remember reading something about the origins of the Police that vaguely suggested that they were making a very deliberate and cynical attempt to capitalize on the punk trend but using their superior musicianship, or something.
― Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 September 2010 18:26 (2 years ago) Permalink
I mean whatever, those records are good.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-11416654
I'm not sure that an Onion article is the right comparison, but... yeah.
― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Monday, 27 September 2010 12:48 (2 years ago) Permalink
Oh lord, just came to post that.
RIP
― rammer jammer jan hammer (Hurting 2), Monday, 27 September 2010 13:35 (2 years ago) Permalink
If only that dead dog had been a German shepherd
xxxxxxxxpost
― Myonga Vön Bontee, Monday, 27 September 2010 15:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
Saw this had been revived and new it had to be the Segway dude.
― master of retardment (ENBB), Monday, 27 September 2010 15:40 (2 years ago) Permalink
headlines wishin they were Onion headlines: Swanky new Vegas hotel’s ‘death ray’ proves inconvenient for some guests
― she's one intense bitch, she rides a unicycle (arby's), Wednesday, 29 September 2010 23:58 (2 years ago) Permalink
RIM Needs More Fart Apps, Not FewerAll Things Digital - 7 hours ago
― adamirl (Hurting 2), Thursday, 30 September 2010 17:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/30/us/30drug.html
Shortage of Widely Used Anesthetics Is Delaying Executions
― zvookster, Friday, 1 October 2010 01:40 (2 years ago) Permalink
― zvookster, Friday, 1 October 2010 01:43 (2 years ago) Permalink
huge LOL
― Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile (dayo), Friday, 1 October 2010 01:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
Not partic Onion-y, but the newspaper somebody was reading a seat up from me on the bus last night had a headline "Wyden voted for stimulus, not ants". I was chucklin at that fr some reason.
― bear, bear, bear, Friday, 1 October 2010 01:49 (2 years ago) Permalink
As prompted by buzza on the Los Angeles thread just now:
http://www.thisisbrandx.com/2010/10/five-things-la-could-learn-from-london.html
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 20 October 2010 22:51 (2 years ago) Permalink
I once got a sneaky blow job in London.Posted by: Pussyman | October 19, 2010 at 07:50 PM
Posted by: Pussyman | October 19, 2010 at 07:50 PM
― shart for shart's sake (unregistered), Wednesday, 20 October 2010 22:55 (2 years ago) Permalink
Plus, even the American chains are better in Europe. H&M for instance.
― if, Thursday, 21 October 2010 00:25 (2 years ago) Permalink
It must be true.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 21 October 2010 01:49 (2 years ago) Permalink
Now we know what to put on the fourth plinth: a giant marble Pret sandwich. Hell, let's replace Nelson with a big old hoisin duck wrap.
― A brownish area with points (chap), Thursday, 21 October 2010 02:59 (2 years ago) Permalink
NBC Develops Winery-Set Supernatural Soap
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 1 November 2010 14:19 (2 years ago) Permalink
Porpoises rescue Dick Van Dyke
― Volvo Twilight (p-dog), Thursday, 11 November 2010 12:42 (2 years ago) Permalink
EU officials envy quality of US diplomatic cables
― peter in montreal, Friday, 3 December 2010 17:58 (2 years ago) Permalink
Some Egyptian officials blame the Mossad for the deadly shark attacks in Sharm El-Sheik last week:
http://english.ahram.org.eg/NewsContent/1/64/1343/Egypt/Politics-/Experts-shoot-down-theory-that-Israel-is-behind-sh.aspx
― StanM, Tuesday, 7 December 2010 09:24 (2 years ago) Permalink
the new york times
― jeevves, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 10:11 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2010/07/digital-drugs/
― Rejoice that you weren't eaten (chap), Saturday, 15 January 2011 14:22 (2 years ago) Permalink
#!
You can apparently get your digital fix here.
― I can't wait to understand these arguments! (R Baez), Saturday, 15 January 2011 14:54 (2 years ago) Permalink
H.R. 2: Repealing the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act
― another al3x, Saturday, 15 January 2011 16:20 (2 years ago) Permalink
Still love this guy
― hey boys, suppers on me, our video just went bacterial (Hurting 2), Saturday, 15 January 2011 19:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
Officials fear bath salts are growing drug problem
― Alba, Monday, 24 January 2011 07:11 (2 years ago) Permalink
Vice President Biden called for jury duty in Del.
(AP) – 1 hour ago
WILMINGTON, Del. (AP) — Joe Biden may be the nation's vice president, but that doesn't mean he can avoid fulfilling his civic duty.
Aides say Biden reported Monday morning for jury duty along with 100 others at the New Castle County courthouse in Delaware after receiving a jury summons.
"I don't consider myself different than any other person," Biden told The News Journal of Wilmington, Del. "This is important ... It is an honor to be a part of the system."
Biden and several Secret Service agents waited with other prospective jurors in the jury assembly room. During a break, staffers and security poured in from a side door to consult with the vice president. Biden said he had to make several calls on a secure telephone during the break, including one to President Barack Obama.
There was no word yet on whether Biden will be chosen to participate in a trial.
― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 24 January 2011 17:08 (2 years ago) Permalink
"Where you from, honey? Elsmere? Oh yeah, I know a great place over there that serves the best wings… Oh, hold on."
*cups the receiver*
"It's the President…"
*Screensaver appears on display*
― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 24 January 2011 17:11 (2 years ago) Permalink
Jodi Bieber won the World Press Photo award for her picture of a Middle Eastern woman who was disfigured by the Taliban.
Headlines, mostly in Belgium and Holland, apparently, where they're only just discovering such childish click-attracting misleading tabloid tactics:
Bieber Wins World Press Photo
― StanM, Friday, 11 February 2011 15:32 (2 years ago) Permalink
wrong thread!
SEO hall of fame
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Friday, 11 February 2011 15:35 (2 years ago) Permalink
ahok, sorry
― StanM, Friday, 11 February 2011 15:36 (2 years ago) Permalink
Okay it's been 15 minutes and I still haven't stopped laughing at this
― frogbs, Friday, 11 February 2011 15:50 (2 years ago) Permalink
Whoopee time is good, but the whoopee time is better.
― Evan, Friday, 11 February 2011 16:09 (2 years ago) Permalink
is it like the cushion?
― StanM, Friday, 11 February 2011 16:12 (2 years ago) Permalink
Depends how much flab has been lost.
― Inevitable stupid dubstep mix (chap), Friday, 11 February 2011 16:13 (2 years ago) Permalink
It's funnier if you actually picture somebody saying it. The whole thing just reminds me of this:
― frogbs, Friday, 11 February 2011 17:29 (2 years ago) Permalink
"We had the whoopee time" is impossible to imagine without some think foreign accent for me.
― Evan, Friday, 11 February 2011 23:42 (2 years ago) Permalink
thick*
― Evan, Friday, 11 February 2011 23:56 (2 years ago) Permalink
I think ilx needs a thread about that article alone; it's terrible on so many levels and yet perfect in its own way.
― frogbs, Monday, 14 February 2011 15:25 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2011/02/13/JP-SEARCH-2.html
"Google’s spam cop, Matt Cutts, was not pleased about a campaign to make JCPenney.com seem more popular."
― hey boys, suppers on me, our video just went bacterial (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 16 February 2011 21:44 (2 years ago) Permalink
"TSA was considering collecting DNA samples via Q-tip swab from the mouths of prospective airplane passengers. Steve Doocy pointed out how easy it would be to fake, saying 'all you gotta do is put someone else’s DNA in your mouth.'"
Will link a video when one shows up.
― Wacky Way Lounge (Evan), Tuesday, 8 March 2011 04:48 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/03/110307130215.htm
― adamj, Thursday, 10 March 2011 00:31 (2 years ago) Permalink
Holy shit! Oh man thats great.
― Wacky Way Lounge (Evan), Thursday, 10 March 2011 02:16 (2 years ago) Permalink
this was posted on I Love Vinyl but deserves a wider audience imho: http://www.bostonherald.com/entertainment/arts_culture/view/20110322young_people_with_old_souls_prefer_records_to_cds/srvc=home&position=recent
"her delicate hand on diamond-tipped stylus"
― I only use this style of type when I choose it (DJ Mencap), Friday, 25 March 2011 16:53 (2 years ago) Permalink
― VegemiteGrrl, Friday, 25 March 2011 16:58 (2 years ago) Permalink
Between this and today's best piece of "rock criticism"
happy dadrock day, y'all.
― i have a hot bagel waiting for me in my bed so ill say this: (kkvgz), Friday, 25 March 2011 17:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
lolling over these from that Herald article
She has a job, college plans, but also a peculiar passion for a 16-year-old: She’s a vinyl junkie.That’s right, analog
...her delicate hand on diamond-tipped stylus to spin from the dusty stash of records she found in the basement of her grandfather — yes, grandfather
"SAY WHAAA-?" (spits out coffee)
― VegemiteGrrl, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:04 (2 years ago) Permalink
that's right, analog. and yes -- grandfather.
― omar little, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:05 (2 years ago) Permalink
lmbo
xpost
analog? SERIOUSLY?her grandfather? YOU DON'T SAY
― VegemiteGrrl, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:05 (2 years ago) Permalink
(exaggerated record scratch)
― frogbs, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:06 (2 years ago) Permalink
has the same tone as an NPR story, all wide eyed about what 'the kids' are doing these days
― VegemiteGrrl, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:06 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://www.parade.com/news/backpage-OLD/mitch-albom/100418-take-in-a-real-game.html
Mitch Albom wrote an awful column on the "evil of fantasy baseball" that's way worse -
Spring is here, and throughout the land, baseball fans don their caps and root, root, root in the glowing warmth of......their computers?
...their computers?
Cliche...cliche...whaaaa?? **record scratch**
It's as if you took the best lines from Shakespeare and formed your own play. Or took rock's best guitar solos and strung them into "your" song. Fantasy baseball uses the talents but loses the stage. And in so doing, it loses much more.
The whole article is based on the completely ridiculous premise that fantasy players use it as a substitute for real baseball, which is something that absolutely no one does.
"Maybe people do it to feel like they're in charge of a real team. But it's nothing like a real team, believe me. A real team has personal problems, injuries, the long grind of the season. You plug in fantasy players, it's like robots. You're missing the human pulse."
The human pulse. Exactly. If you program a computer correctly, it can play an entire fantasy season without you. Try winning a real game without a human being on the mound.
You can practically see the smirk on his face right now!! "Yeah! You try winning a real game with a bunch of...of...robots!!"
I worry for this growing fantasy-sports world, not for what its followers are experiencing, but for what they're not. If you're so busy computing stats, you miss the real-life drama, you miss the physical artistry, you miss the electricity of a stadium and the unity of your neighbors cheering alongside you. Remember, no one does the wave alone in his basement.
Even if his premise was plausable at all, are we to accept the reason why you need to break out of your robot filled fantasy world is the wave"???
Baseball minus such things is just math. And let's be honest. Wasn't math class when we snuck the earphone from the transistor radio and enjoyed our original fantasies about the game?
*head explodes*
― frogbs, Friday, 25 March 2011 17:27 (2 years ago) Permalink
xpost I'm irrationally annoyed by Americans referring to vinyl records as "vinyls".
― Pop is superior to all other genres (DL), Friday, 25 March 2011 17:56 (2 years ago) Permalink
That's right, "vinyls".
― Pop is superior to all other genres (DL), Friday, 25 March 2011 17:57 (2 years ago) Permalink
didn't realise this was a US thing, if it is, but yeah fucking stop it
(loosely related: someone tried to clown me a couple of days ago for saying that 'records', as in, say, "I have a big record collection" or "I can't wait for the new Linkin Park record to come out" could legitimately be used to refer to music releases in general, not just vinyl, as he asserted. Am I dumb and/or weird for using it this way for the last 15 years or so?)
― I only use this style of type when I choose it (DJ Mencap), Friday, 25 March 2011 18:14 (2 years ago) Permalink
it should be ok. we say "album" still and you can't really say "CDs" anymore so it should be fine
― frogbs, Friday, 25 March 2011 18:17 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/38/20110324/tod-man-goes-on-shooting-spree-over-burr-045b8e8.html
― Bryan, Friday, 25 March 2011 18:55 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://www.newburyportnews.com/lifestyle/x1527122058/Port-teen-joins-Aspergers-comedy-troupe
― goole, Friday, 25 March 2011 20:28 (2 years ago) Permalink
omg
― I'm totally kidding. Congrats strangers. (Matt P), Friday, 25 March 2011 22:30 (2 years ago) Permalink
This is not what a feminist looks like. Feminists are not shirts.
― administratieve blunder (unregistered), Friday, 25 March 2011 23:14 (2 years ago) Permalink
"New Michael"
― buzza, Friday, 25 March 2011 23:16 (2 years ago) Permalink
Trump Sends Investigators to Hawaii, Gains in GOP Presidential Primary Poll
― Oink Administrator (gr8080), Friday, 8 April 2011 06:20 (2 years ago) Permalink
baaaaaaaaaaaaarf
http://www.gilroydispatch.com/printer/article.asp?c=196690
Dr. Laura says people should not have sex before they marry. The reason for this is that sex is the number one cause of pregnancy, and pregnancy is the number one cause of babies.
― frogbs, Wednesday, 13 April 2011 13:15 (2 years ago) Permalink
I ran the boards for the Dr. Laura Show for my local station for three years and I still hate the Pointer Sisters.
― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 13 April 2011 13:49 (2 years ago) Permalink
Joe Queenan on the Frank Gehry Glut
― conrad, Tuesday, 26 April 2011 15:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/20/us/20rapture.html?_r=2&hp
― hated old moniker, too tired to think of a clever new one (Hurting 2), Friday, 20 May 2011 14:55 (2 years ago) Permalink
The three teenagers have been struggling to make sense of their shifting world, which started changing nearly two years ago when their mother, Abby Haddad Carson, left her job as a nurse to “sound the trumpet” on mission trips with her husband, Robert, handing out tracts. They stopped working on their house and saving for college.Last weekend, the family traveled to New York, the parents dragging their reluctant children through a Manhattan street fair in a final effort to spread the word.“My mom has told me directly that I’m not going to get into heaven,” Grace Haddad, 16, said. “At first it was really upsetting, but it’s what she honestly believes.”
Last weekend, the family traveled to New York, the parents dragging their reluctant children through a Manhattan street fair in a final effort to spread the word.
“My mom has told me directly that I’m not going to get into heaven,” Grace Haddad, 16, said. “At first it was really upsetting, but it’s what she honestly believes.”
this just depresses me
― peter in montreal, Friday, 20 May 2011 15:12 (2 years ago) Permalink
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Friday, 20 May 2011 17:51 (2 years ago) Permalink
dammit
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Friday, 20 May 2011 17:57 (2 years ago) Permalink
http://i.imgur.com/p4CFW.png
http://www.indystar.com/article/20110603/NEWS02/110603006/Man-calls-police-after-kitten-bites-him
― StanM, Friday, 3 June 2011 20:16 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/07/03/us-athletics-diamond-idUSTRE6622I420100703
― some dude, Thursday, 9 June 2011 20:36 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://onionlike.tumblr.com/
― kinder, Saturday, 11 June 2011 02:34 (1 year ago) Permalink
There's a fine line happening here.
― Pleasant Plains, Saturday, 11 June 2011 03:40 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://madisonrecord.com/news/contentview.asp?c=148217
― british sb power (dayo), Saturday, 11 June 2011 07:30 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.voanews.com/english/news/middle-east/israel-and-palestinians/Israel-Approves-Jerusalem-Museum-Project-Despite-Muslim-Objections-125499758.html
I mean, the museum people may be right in the end that gravesites aren't normally given any special respect by muslim builders, but still -- Israel to build tolerance museum on muslim gravesite -- seems to fit this thread.
― didn't even have to use my akai (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 19 July 2011 18:59 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.insurancejournal.com/news/west/2011/07/19/206814.htm
― Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 19 July 2011 19:20 (1 year ago) Permalink
“He slipped because it was slippery,” said a sobbing Hick.
http://www.tokeofthetown.com/2011/07/reformed_nazi_twin_singers_renounce_racism_credit.php
― ( •ิ.•ั) (gr8080), Monday, 1 August 2011 06:04 (1 year ago) Permalink
Boys believe discussing problems is a waste of time and weird, says study
― Trip Maker, Tuesday, 23 August 2011 17:22 (1 year ago) Permalink
Rebel Discovers Qaddafi Passport, Real Spelling of Leader's Name
― Alba, Thursday, 25 August 2011 07:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
love that the image for that article is this:
― peter in montreal, Thursday, 25 August 2011 15:14 (1 year ago) Permalink
They even mention how similar this is to a specific Onion article inside.
Al Qaeda slams Iran for peddling 9/11 conspiracy theories
― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 29 September 2011 16:28 (1 year ago) Permalink
"The Iranian government has professed on the tongue of its president Ahmadinejad that it does not believe that al Qaeda was behind 9/11 but rather, the U.S. government," an article in Inspire's latest issue argued, according to ABC News' Lee Ferrin. "So we may ask the question: why would Iran ascribe to such a ridiculous belief that stands in the face of all logic and evidence?"
On cnn.com right now:
― sktsh, Wednesday, 16 November 2011 18:57 (1 year ago) Permalink
loll
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 16 November 2011 19:13 (1 year ago) Permalink
Ha there was something that rolled by the CNN news ticker this morning that said something like "COMMUNISM MORE POPULAR THAN CONGRESS AMONG US PUBLIC"
― ⚓ (gr8080), Wednesday, 16 November 2011 19:54 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.businessinsider.com/time-to-admit-it-the-church-has-always-been-right-on-birth-control-2012-2?utm_source=twbutton&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=politics
― ⚓ (gr8080), Wednesday, 8 February 2012 22:21 (1 year ago) Permalink
Michael Brendan Dougherty Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry
― buzza, Wednesday, 8 February 2012 22:23 (1 year ago) Permalink
Before joining Business Insider, Michael Brendan Dougherty was Associate Editor of The American Conservative.
― buzza, Wednesday, 8 February 2012 22:27 (1 year ago) Permalink
great headline
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2098652/Shop-fitter-died-falling-giant-bucket-mayonnaise-stabbing-heart-electric-drill.html
― ⚓ (gr8080), Friday, 10 February 2012 23:09 (1 year ago) Permalink
I xposted that to SEO hall of fame
― http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY (dayo), Friday, 10 February 2012 23:14 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.gizmowatch.com/entry/sun-will-finally-shine-in-viganella-during-winter/
― Evan, Thursday, 23 February 2012 00:33 (1 year ago) Permalink
If they hate it so much, why build the town there. It's like building a town at the bottom of a lake and complaining about the lack of oxygen.
― Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Thursday, 23 February 2012 01:07 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/03/sc_county_gop_if_youve_had_pre-marital_sex_you_can.php?ref=fpb
Before you can join the Laurens County Republican Party in South Carolina and get on the primary ballot, they ask that you pledge that you’ve never ever had pre-marital sex — and that you will never ever look at porn again.Last Tuesday, the LCGOP unanimously adopted a resolution that would ask all candidates who want to get on the primary ballot to sign a pledge with 28 principles, because the party “does not want to associate with candidates who do not act and speak in a manner that is consistent with the SC Republican Party Platform.”Among the principles, according to Vic MacDonald & Larry Franklin of the Clinton Chronicle, is standard fare like opposition to abortion and upholding gun rights, as well as “a compassionate and moral approach to Teen Pregnancy” and “a high regard for United States Sovereignty.”But then they get even more specific. From the Chronicle:You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.It is unclear how they will precisely determine this (or regulate it), but an unidentified potential candidate for office in Laurens County told the Chronicle that candidates will be interviewed by a three-person subcommittee, who will then recommend to the full executive committee whether to allow the candidate on the ballot.
Last Tuesday, the LCGOP unanimously adopted a resolution that would ask all candidates who want to get on the primary ballot to sign a pledge with 28 principles, because the party “does not want to associate with candidates who do not act and speak in a manner that is consistent with the SC Republican Party Platform.”
Among the principles, according to Vic MacDonald & Larry Franklin of the Clinton Chronicle, is standard fare like opposition to abortion and upholding gun rights, as well as “a compassionate and moral approach to Teen Pregnancy” and “a high regard for United States Sovereignty.”
But then they get even more specific. From the Chronicle:
You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.
You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.
It is unclear how they will precisely determine this (or regulate it), but an unidentified potential candidate for office in Laurens County told the Chronicle that candidates will be interviewed by a three-person subcommittee, who will then recommend to the full executive committee whether to allow the candidate on the ballot.
― Flagpost Sitta (Phil D.), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 11:39 (1 year ago) Permalink
THE EATBEAT: Long-awaited Olive Garden receives warm welcome
After a lengthy wait for Olive Garden to open in Grand Forks, the lines were long in February. The novelty is slowly wearing off, but the steady following attests the warm welcome.My first visit to Olive Garden was during midafternoon, so I could be sure to get in. After a late breakfast, I figured a late lunch would be fashionable.The place is impressive. It’s fashioned in Tuscan farmhouse style with a welcoming entryway. There is seating for those who are waiting.My booth was near the kitchen, and I watched the waiters in white shirts, ties, black trousers and aprons adorned with gold-colored towels. They were busy at midday, punching in orders and carrying out bread and pasta.It had been a few years since I ate at the older Olive Garden in Fargo, so I studied the two manageable menus offering appetizers, soups and salads, grilled sandwiches, pizza, classic dishes, chicken and seafood and filled pastas.At length, I asked my server what she would recommend. She suggested chicken Alfredo, and I went with that. Instead of the raspberry lemonade she suggested, I drank water.She first brought me the familiar Olive Garden salad bowl with crisp greens, peppers, onion rings and yes — several black olives. Along with it came a plate with two long, warm breadsticks.The chicken Alfredo ($10.95) was warm and comforting on a cold day. The portion was generous. My server was ready with Parmesan cheese.As I ate, I noticed the vases and planters with permanent flower displays on the ledges. There are several dining areas with arched doorways. And there is a fireplace that adds warmth to the decor.Olive Garden has an attractive bar area to the right of the entryway. The restaurant has a full liquor license and a wine list offering a wide selection to complement Italian meals. Nonalcoholic beverages include coolers, specialty coffees and hot teas.On a hot summer day, I will try the raspberry lemonade that was recommended.There’s a homemade soup, salad and breadstick lunch available until 4 p.m. daily for $6.95.An olive branch on menu items signified low-fat entrees. There is a Garden Fare Nutrition Guide available for customers seeking gluten-free food. And for those with food allergies, Olive Garden has an Allergen Information Guide.All in all, it is the largest and most beautiful restaurant now operating in Grand Forks. It attracts visitors from out of town as well as people who live here.Olive Garden is part of the Darden chain of restaurants that also operates Red Lobster. There are about 700 restaurants, including four Olive Gardens in North Dakota’s major cities.Olive Garden has gained a following since 1982 with its ample portions and relaxed ambience. It’s known for its classic lasagna, fettuccine Alfredo and chicken Parmigiana.
My first visit to Olive Garden was during midafternoon, so I could be sure to get in. After a late breakfast, I figured a late lunch would be fashionable.
The place is impressive. It’s fashioned in Tuscan farmhouse style with a welcoming entryway. There is seating for those who are waiting.
My booth was near the kitchen, and I watched the waiters in white shirts, ties, black trousers and aprons adorned with gold-colored towels. They were busy at midday, punching in orders and carrying out bread and pasta.
It had been a few years since I ate at the older Olive Garden in Fargo, so I studied the two manageable menus offering appetizers, soups and salads, grilled sandwiches, pizza, classic dishes, chicken and seafood and filled pastas.
At length, I asked my server what she would recommend. She suggested chicken Alfredo, and I went with that. Instead of the raspberry lemonade she suggested, I drank water.
She first brought me the familiar Olive Garden salad bowl with crisp greens, peppers, onion rings and yes — several black olives. Along with it came a plate with two long, warm breadsticks.
The chicken Alfredo ($10.95) was warm and comforting on a cold day. The portion was generous. My server was ready with Parmesan cheese.
As I ate, I noticed the vases and planters with permanent flower displays on the ledges. There are several dining areas with arched doorways. And there is a fireplace that adds warmth to the decor.
Olive Garden has an attractive bar area to the right of the entryway. The restaurant has a full liquor license and a wine list offering a wide selection to complement Italian meals. Nonalcoholic beverages include coolers, specialty coffees and hot teas.
On a hot summer day, I will try the raspberry lemonade that was recommended.
There’s a homemade soup, salad and breadstick lunch available until 4 p.m. daily for $6.95.
An olive branch on menu items signified low-fat entrees. There is a Garden Fare Nutrition Guide available for customers seeking gluten-free food. And for those with food allergies, Olive Garden has an Allergen Information Guide.
All in all, it is the largest and most beautiful restaurant now operating in Grand Forks. It attracts visitors from out of town as well as people who live here.
Olive Garden is part of the Darden chain of restaurants that also operates Red Lobster. There are about 700 restaurants, including four Olive Gardens in North Dakota’s major cities.
Olive Garden has gained a following since 1982 with its ample portions and relaxed ambience. It’s known for its classic lasagna, fettuccine Alfredo and chicken Parmigiana.
― the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:37 (1 year ago) Permalink
At length, I asked my server what she would recommend.
oh to be a fly on the wall
― brownie, Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:43 (1 year ago) Permalink
xpost: I don't get it?
― StanM, Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
I like that either definition (after a long pause / over a long period of time) suggests he is possibly an asshole / savouring the plum assignment of his career, the one he'll tell the grandkids about.
xpost I think it's the in depth and lingering discussion of a generic chain restaurant, but then I am not an American.
― Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
oh, I didn't know what Olive Garden was - didn't seem to get that vibe from the site either, but ok :-)
― StanM, Thursday, 8 March 2012 14:55 (1 year ago) Permalink
EAT STREET / THE KING OF THE EAT
― lou reed scott walker monks niagra (chinavision!), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:09 (1 year ago) Permalink
aahhh EAT BEAT, mangled it never mind
― lou reed scott walker monks niagra (chinavision!), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:11 (1 year ago) Permalink
I often enjoy reading effusive community newspaper prose on banal topics, but that's an especially fine example.
― simulation and similac (Hurting 2), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:18 (1 year ago) Permalink
― Waxahachie Swap (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:19 (1 year ago) Permalink
I love the image of Grand Forksians "long awaiting" the Olive Garden.
― simulation and similac (Hurting 2), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:20 (1 year ago) Permalink
"On a hot summer day, I will try the raspberry lemonade that was recommended."
Please report back!
This article is beyond description.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:31 (1 year ago) Permalink
"I was given a selection of food items to choose from. I indicated my preferences to the server, and some time later, those selections were brought to the table for me to eat!"
― Three Word Username, Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:36 (1 year ago) Permalink
MARILYN HAGERTY: Dippin’ Dots, Crazy Bread await fans at UND hockey games
― ಠ﹏ಠ i am dissapoint (diamonddave85), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:37 (1 year ago) Permalink
Crazy Bread, Super Pretzels, Dippin’ Dots, cotton candy, bratwursts and beer. Popcorn, prime rib sandwiches, freshly roasted almonds.
― ಠ﹏ಠ i am dissapoint (diamonddave85), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
Drinking water with her meal = why she's lived to be such an active 85-year-old.
― pplains, Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:41 (1 year ago) Permalink
oh shit max just tweeted this
― the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:42 (1 year ago) Permalink
it's all happening
I saw this tweeted last night. Max, get on the ball.
― pplains, Thursday, 8 March 2012 15:44 (1 year ago) Permalink
Grandfawker
someone from grand forks tweets at me:
@max_read she's such a trooper - the week after her cancer diagnosis she reviewed Altru Hospital's room service #eatbeat
― max, Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:10 (1 year ago) Permalink
Is it OK to still think this is funny then?
― Waxahachie Swap (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:15 (1 year ago) Permalink
yeah
― max, Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:16 (1 year ago) Permalink
its a gentle, loving mockery
That is actually amazing.
― the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:17 (1 year ago) Permalink
guys guys guys... what if she's actually trolling us w this article?
― Waxahachie Swap (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Thursday, 8 March 2012 16:18 (1 year ago) Permalink
I think she is.
http://www.accessmylibrary.com/article-1G1-165736373/grand-forks-herald-n.html
― Eric H., Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:00 (1 year ago) Permalink
"The big soft shell at first glance reminded me of lefse"
― Eric H., Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:01 (1 year ago) Permalink
and yes — several black olives
― diamanda ram dass (Edward III), Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:49 (1 year ago) Permalink
Gawker is on it. Not via max but anyway:
http://gawker.com/5891587/grand-forks-olive-garden-receives-positive-review
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:52 (1 year ago) Permalink
i can't even
― goole, Thursday, 8 March 2012 17:53 (1 year ago) Permalink
Only time will tell if the still-too-new OG will rise to the top of the list: http://www.urbanspoon.com/lb/152/best-restaurants-Grand-Forks
― Eric H., Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:15 (1 year ago) Permalink
SHE SPEAKS!
http://blogs.villagevoice.com/forkintheroad/2012/03/olive_garden_review_marilyn_hegarty.php
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:48 (1 year ago) Permalink
Your Olive Garden review has been getting a lot of attention on the Internet.Yeah, I don't get it.
Yeah, I don't get it.
Hero.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:49 (1 year ago) Permalink
I may sound a little on the defensive to you today because of the emails I've received. One was kind of snotty. But the other four or five were kind of friendly. But my daughter tells me I should go on Facebook and read all this crap. And I do not have time to let myself be bothered or read all that stuff. I have a Sunday column I'm doing now about a completely different subject. I don't have time to sit here and twit over whether some self-styled food expert likes, or does not like, my column. The publisher likes it.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:54 (1 year ago) Permalink
I don't care whether they are or not. If anyone's got time to sit out there and nitpick, I kind of feel sorry for them. Get a life.
― goole, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:55 (1 year ago) Permalink
glad the internet could get its shit together on a thursday to laugh and point at an old lady for doing her job
― wham city bitch, wham wham city bitch (some dude) (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:56 (1 year ago) Permalink
She told everyone where to get the fuck off, and provided perfect context for it all as well. Any laughing I was doing earlier is rightly erased because she just pwned the world.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 18:58 (1 year ago) Permalink
Yo Whiney it didn't make it into the VV piece linked above but she also a hella Community fan.
― the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:03 (1 year ago) Permalink
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:03 (1 year ago) Permalink
under 16,000 views on gawkerabout 150 likes on the gawker article on facebookshe's received six e-mails
i thought the internet was bigger than this
― da croupier, Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:04 (1 year ago) Permalink
I like marilyn hagerty
― (he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:13 (1 year ago) Permalink
She seems like a cool lady
― polyphonic, Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:14 (1 year ago) Permalink
Small towns do their own thing, I'm down with Marilyn.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:16 (1 year ago) Permalink
Also, tbf I had to write stuff that I myself would probably make fun of when I worked at a community newspaper.
― simulation and similac (Hurting 2), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:20 (1 year ago) Permalink
I haven't checked lately because I'm in the middle of writing a Sunday column, and I hit the wrong key, and it flew away, and so I had to start all over again.
classic
― simulation and similac (Hurting 2), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:22 (1 year ago) Permalink
― da croupier, Thursday, March 8, 2012 2:04 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark
well i mean, think about how many times you've clicked on a 'funny link,' or shared it w/ people you know, and out of all those times how often you've decided to personally e-mail the person the funny story is by/about
― HalfNelson (some dude), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:23 (1 year ago) Permalink
who the hell sends an email just to say 'pathetic'?
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:24 (1 year ago) Permalink
can you imagine what the internet will be capable of when we're all her age?
its terrifying.
― ⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 8 March 2012 19:26 (1 year ago) Permalink
I was just thinking of what's going to take the place of Olive Garden by then.
― pplains, Thursday, 8 March 2012 20:55 (1 year ago) Permalink
cyber olive garden 2 point infinity
― max, Thursday, 8 March 2012 20:56 (1 year ago) Permalink
OLIVE GREEN IS MADE OF PEOPLE
― da croupier, Thursday, 8 March 2012 21:15 (1 year ago) Permalink
mama...she loves the soylent garden
― da croupier, Thursday, 8 March 2012 21:16 (1 year ago) Permalink
A good comment from elsewhere:
When you read Marilyn’s review, try reading it in your head in the voice of actor Sam Elliott.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 22:37 (1 year ago) Permalink
exactly
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 8 March 2012 22:40 (1 year ago) Permalink
If anyone's got time to sit out there and nitpick, I kind of feel sorry for them. Get a life.
Surely this is an impending board description.
― Trying To Do A ‘Gotcha’ Moment (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 8 March 2012 22:43 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/08/marilyn-hagerty-olive-garden_n_1332753.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003
Not that the Grand Forks Olive Garden is resting on its laurels. When we asked to speak to the location's general manager, Donald Szutenbach, we were told he was in Italy, training at the brand's Culinary Institute of Tuscany.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 March 2012 23:33 (1 year ago) Permalink
when did the onion switch to a paid content model, that is fucking ridiculous
― desperado, rough rider (thomp), Thursday, 8 March 2012 23:35 (1 year ago) Permalink
Ages ago! And yes.
― Medical Dance Crab With Lesson (Trayce), Thursday, 8 March 2012 23:55 (1 year ago) Permalink
the onion's whole website is shit now unfortunately
― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, 9 March 2012 01:15 (1 year ago) Permalink
:D
Marilyn takes America by viral storm
And there's video!
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2012 16:28 (1 year ago) Permalink
The NY Daily News ran an item yesterday about the danger of illegally imported beauty products that contain mercury. This part struck me as Onion-ish:
Here are some ways to tell if your products contain mercury.
Check the label for “mercurous chloride,” “calomel,” “mercuric,” “mercurio” or “mercury.” If you find any of those ingredients in your products, discard them immediately in a plastic bag or leak-proof container.
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/mercury-found-lotions-cosmetics-fda-products-sold-ethnic-neighborhoods-online-article-1.1034686#ixzz1odgfzcsd
― Josefa, Friday, 9 March 2012 16:52 (1 year ago) Permalink
<3 guilelessness, <3 Marilyn
― Carlos Pollomar (WmC), Friday, 9 March 2012 20:53 (1 year ago) Permalink
"The website postings were because residents of more metropolitan areas found it amusing that a chain restaurant would be reviewed. In larger markets, newspaper reviews are reserved for exclusive, high-end eateries that offer fine dining"
― the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Friday, 9 March 2012 20:57 (1 year ago) Permalink
seriously:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/mar/28/stuart-pearce-making-plans-england
― the pinefox, Thursday, 29 March 2012 11:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/defense-hazing-article-1.1059984
― s.clover, Monday, 16 April 2012 16:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://gma.yahoo.com/k-e-diet-brides-using-feeding-tubes-rapidly-080053646--abc-news-health.html
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 16 April 2012 19:18 (1 year ago) Permalink
between this and the tupac hologram, what year am I living in?
― dayo, Monday, 16 April 2012 19:19 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://queenanne.komonews.com/news/crime/739963-police-gun-pulled-following-poorly-attended-ska-show-queen-anne
― ma ck ro ma ck ro (mackro mackro), Wednesday, 18 April 2012 05:24 (1 year ago) Permalink
we must stop this ska-on-ska violence.
― kate78, Wednesday, 18 April 2012 05:42 (1 year ago) Permalink
(featuring former members of Smash Mouth, White Zombie and Bad Brains)
― goole, Wednesday, 18 April 2012 13:53 (1 year ago) Permalink
greag camp of smash mouth, qball of sublime lbc, ivan de prume of white zombie, isreal joseph of bad brains.
― beachville, Wednesday, 18 April 2012 13:58 (1 year ago) Permalink
'longbeach rehab band' <--- code for sublime cover band, innit??
― dayo, Wednesday, 18 April 2012 14:03 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2017999538_apusfrozencows.html
― Touché Gödel (ledge), Friday, 20 April 2012 09:12 (1 year ago) Permalink
Isn't that just the weirdest thing?
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 20 April 2012 11:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
feel terrible for considering that these cows are probably still edible
― dayo, Friday, 20 April 2012 11:49 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.afp.com/en/news/topstories/breivik-tells-court-i-am-very-likeable-person
― silverfish, Friday, 20 April 2012 14:29 (1 year ago) Permalink
Lazer Woolf?!
― sktsh, Saturday, 21 April 2012 14:41 (1 year ago) Permalink
I guess his mother really liked Fiddler on the Roof?
― Andrew Farrell, Saturday, 21 April 2012 15:48 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.thechronicle.com.au/story/2012/04/24/mum-steaming-over-rude-surprise-burger-penis/
― yuoowemeone, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 11:34 (1 year ago) Permalink
Classic pic.
― HE HATES THESE CANS (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 14:10 (1 year ago) Permalink
kylie
― goole, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 14:18 (1 year ago) Permalink
that url is great
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 14:34 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.jta.org/news/article/2012/04/23/3093586/man-can-sue-over-anti-semitic-comments-though-not-jewish
NEW YORK (JTA) -- A New Jersey appeals court has ruled that a man can sue for enduring anti-Semitic slurs from former employers despite not being Jewish.Myron Cowher, a former truck driver for Carson & Roberts Site Constructions & Engineering Inc., sued the company and former supervisors after allegedly enduring anti-Semitic comments for more than a year. His suit alleges discrimination that resulted in a hostile work environment.The Appellate Division of New Jersey Superior Court reversed a Superior Court judge in a 3-0 decision. The appeals court stated that the “proper question” is what effect the derogatory comments would have on “a reasonable Jew,” not on Cowher, who is of German-Irish and Lutheran background.
Myron Cowher, a former truck driver for Carson & Roberts Site Constructions & Engineering Inc., sued the company and former supervisors after allegedly enduring anti-Semitic comments for more than a year. His suit alleges discrimination that resulted in a hostile work environment.
The Appellate Division of New Jersey Superior Court reversed a Superior Court judge in a 3-0 decision. The appeals court stated that the “proper question” is what effect the derogatory comments would have on “a reasonable Jew,” not on Cowher, who is of German-Irish and Lutheran background.
hahahahhahahaha
― dharunravir (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 19:31 (1 year ago) Permalink
And although this is a fight I can lose/The accused is A REASONABLE JEW!
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 20:06 (1 year ago) Permalink
I used to get called "Jew" back in elementary school, but I never knew how to complain about it since it would somehow legitimize the word "Jew" as an insult?
It was the intent, I guess. Maybe I should sue and find some reasonable Jews as character witnesses.
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 20:07 (1 year ago) Permalink
isn't that the name of a Coen Bros film?
― i don't believe in zimmerman (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:21 (1 year ago) Permalink
Denny's going to get sued by African-Americans who have been victims of anti-Candadian remarks.
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:25 (1 year ago) Permalink
Canadian.
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:26 (1 year ago) Permalink
It's just 'a reasonable man' who is Jewish
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 22:56 (1 year ago) Permalink
So you're saying I'm not reasonable then.
― pplains, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 00:49 (1 year ago) Permalink
hamburger lady reminds me of:http://www.sonsofstevegarvey.com/2007/09/hey-kid-pass-this-to-david-ortiz.html
― ♆ (gr8080), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 02:58 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.spiegel.de/politik/deutschland/0,1518,829312,00.html
― goole, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 19:46 (1 year ago) Permalink
turns out, I do know how to speak German.
― pplains, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 19:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://mo.accessatlanta.com/celebrities-tv/idaho-man-accused-of-1426299.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm
― ♆ (gr8080), Thursday, 26 April 2012 18:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://now.msn.com/now/0506-dolphins-heroin-overdose.aspx
"Dolphins died of heroin OD after rave at zoo, report says"
Sad and sick as hell, actually.
― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 8 May 2012 00:23 (1 year ago) Permalink
For animals with sonar hearing, a possibly dubstep-heavy event was already considered a strain.
― ♆ (gr8080), Thursday, 10 May 2012 03:11 (1 year ago) Permalink
http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/robert-schlesinger/2012/05/16/george-bush-writes-a-book-on-economic-growth-and-other-things-that-make-tons-of-sense
― StanM, Saturday, 19 May 2012 10:59 (1 year ago) Permalink
Jailed punk band Pussy Riot pushes free speech limits in Russia
― the late great, Friday, 25 May 2012 16:11 (11 months ago) Permalink
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/man-admitted-hospital-kidney-stone-discovers-hes-woman-110057308--abc-news-health.html
― omar little, Saturday, 26 May 2012 01:08 (11 months ago) Permalink
seriously would that ever be an onion article? not like an enquirer article or a wacky news of the world article or a human interest segment on the local news, but an onion article?
― s.clover, Saturday, 26 May 2012 01:43 (11 months ago) Permalink
― the late great, Tuesday, 5 June 2012 19:45 (11 months ago) Permalink
guh
― goole, Tuesday, 5 June 2012 19:46 (11 months ago) Permalink
haha, that same story also has a headline link on CNN that says "Dismemberment victim's head missing"
well, no shit.
― heated debate over derpy hooves (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 5 June 2012 19:52 (11 months ago) Permalink
imho it takes all the fun out of guessing which parts are missing
― Convert simple JEEZ to BDSMcode (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 16:00 (11 months ago) Permalink
Detachable penis is missing
― pplains, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 16:04 (11 months ago) Permalink
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/06/06/tagblogsfindlawcom2012-legallyweird-idUS379276591220120606
― r|t|c, Friday, 8 June 2012 14:21 (11 months ago) Permalink
The confessions of an ex-sex kitten
― the late great, Friday, 8 June 2012 22:38 (11 months ago) Permalink
Somali Islamists offer 10 camels as bounty for ObamaBy the CNN Wire Staff
http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/09/world/africa/somalia-al-shabaab-bounties/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
― the late great, Saturday, 9 June 2012 21:58 (11 months ago) Permalink
Casey Anthony reading 'Hunger Games,' book about killing children
http://news.yahoo.com/casey-anthony-says-shes-gone-hell-232851938--abc-news-topstories.html
― Godzilla vs. Rodan Rodannadanna (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 04:28 (11 months ago) Permalink
― ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 08:48 (11 months ago) Permalink
OK that one *is* an onion article, right?
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 09:15 (11 months ago) Permalink
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/
Nice work BBC!
― Arvo Pärt Chimp (Neil S), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 09:17 (11 months ago) Permalink
Oh good lord.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 09:21 (11 months ago) Permalink
more goodness from CNN ...
"Snacks on a plane"
― the late great, Wednesday, 13 June 2012 17:22 (11 months ago) Permalink
http://www.wsoctv.com/news/online/site-information/lake-norman-high-school-yearbook-photo-story-corre/nPWGH/
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 04:45 (11 months ago) Permalink
wat
― goole, Monday, 18 June 2012 04:47 (11 months ago) Permalink
Ohshit yeah I read about that one on Popehat and I was so confused. The retraction sounds so backhanded. Also it implies no one ever even saw the photo in question and just ran with it anyway?
Ive seen the photo. It... really does look like a woman who flashed her bits. but by accident (slipped sideways gown) not on purpose. But its very hard to tell, as it could also be one of those bizarre illusory pics.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Monday, 18 June 2012 05:06 (11 months ago) Permalink
like, the one definite illusion is ppl saying she's "lifting her gown" - she isnt, she's holding a magazine in her lap.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Monday, 18 June 2012 05:10 (11 months ago) Permalink
bare genitals and private parts
sorry, that's BARE GENITALS AND PRIVATE PARTS
― jacob von logflume (DJ Mencap), Monday, 18 June 2012 07:16 (11 months ago) Permalink
Yeah the level of detail is bizarre.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Monday, 18 June 2012 08:37 (11 months ago) Permalink
Player 'completes' Diablo III video game
"Just over a month after the release of Diablo III, a pro player has managed to complete the game on its hardest setting"
― ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Friday, 22 June 2012 08:30 (10 months ago) Permalink
I am obviously reading different news sites, but that is an actual* news story. It's hardly Billy Mitchell, but still.
*I was going to say 'specialist', but then it sold 3.5 million on its first day..
― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 22 June 2012 09:37 (10 months ago) Permalink
http://menomoneefalls.patch.com/articles/woman-attacks-husband-for-having-the-shepherd-express-the-onion-in-his-car
― funny-skrillex-bee_132455836669.gif (s1ocki), Friday, 22 June 2012 19:10 (10 months ago) Permalink
The hell is with the comments on that article!?
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Saturday, 23 June 2012 04:55 (10 months ago) Permalink
strongly suspect that article is making appearances on 'men's rights' forums
― goole, Saturday, 23 June 2012 18:18 (10 months ago) Permalink
yeah those are the kind of comments they make, I've seen a few on our papers website; this whole "ALL women only want you for money and will ruin you and dump you" bitterness, it is frightening
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Saturday, 23 June 2012 23:44 (10 months ago) Permalink
look i know a sub-ed is fucking around here but
http://cumming.patch.com/articles/these-salads-should-be-tossed-says-fda
― pvmic bellvm (goole), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 15:29 (10 months ago) Permalink
speaking of which, before I clicked on the link I was having a hard time visualising what "for-having-the-shepherd-express-the-onion" might mean in that url
― jacob von logflume (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 16:21 (10 months ago) Permalink
cnn does it again
Instagram down in mass power outage
Breakfasts everywhere went undocumented on social media Saturday morning because photo-sharing site Instagram is still down after a line of powerful storms caused mass power outages across the Midwest and Atlantic Seaboard on Friday night.
― the late great, Saturday, 30 June 2012 20:11 (10 months ago) Permalink
haha
i was at a very hipstery gathering yesterday and addressed the 3 or 4 girls i was with: "so let me ask you something..." and was promptly interrupted by one saying "was instagram down last night?? YES."
― ♆ (gr8080), Sunday, 1 July 2012 22:54 (10 months ago) Permalink
so then did you talk about what you had had for breakfast or is that news stale after 2 pm?
― the late great, Sunday, 1 July 2012 23:06 (10 months ago) Permalink
lol I read that earlier and thought about posting it here. hilarious.
― (✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Sunday, 1 July 2012 23:46 (10 months ago) Permalink
more cnn
"Photos: Competing in the Hipster Olympics"
― the late great, Sunday, 22 July 2012 18:36 (9 months ago) Permalink
Not a perfect fit --- needs tweaking, but the sentiment expressed is pure Onion:
http://aminiatureclaypot.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/so-you-still-think-god-is-a-merciful-god/
― Vic Perry, Sunday, 22 July 2012 20:06 (9 months ago) Permalink
FFS new york times!
According to a D.J. in Brooklyn who goes by the Twitter handle Lil Internet, he coined the term “seapunk” last June after having a surreal dream, which he tweeted about: “Seapunk leather jacket with barnacles where the studs used to be.” His friends added a hashtag to “seapunk,” and a trend was born, like Aphrodite from the foam.
“The surprising thing is that it really was cohesive,” Lil Internet said by iChat; he declined to use his legal name, saying he is now known solely by his Twitter handle. He also described seapunk’s vibe as “Venice Beach Acid Rave 1995,” and cited surf-wear logos, yin-yang symbols and round holographic sunglasses as part of its look.
― the late great, Monday, 23 July 2012 10:32 (9 months ago) Permalink
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/04/fashion/Seapunk-a-Web-Joke-With-Music-Has-Its-Moment.html
^^ all of the quotes are just ... no words
― the late great, Monday, 23 July 2012 10:35 (9 months ago) Permalink
Great photo caption
― funny-skrillex-bee_132455836669.gif (s1ocki), Monday, 23 July 2012 14:15 (9 months ago) Permalink
ha that was the first thing i noticed
― goole, Monday, 23 July 2012 15:23 (9 months ago) Permalink
"no really, there's a good reason we took a picture of this guy"
― goole, Monday, 23 July 2012 15:24 (9 months ago) Permalink
The spacey electronic dance music borrows from Witch House, Chiptune, Drum & Bass and southern rap
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Monday, 23 July 2012 15:34 (9 months ago) Permalink
As lol as that article is, I feel like I am finally starting to *get* the sensibility of the generation that has spawned chillwave, witchhouse, etc.
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Monday, 23 July 2012 16:28 (9 months ago) Permalink
i haven't read that yet but finding out that lil internet wasn't just a funny anonymous twitter guy but is a real dude who directs Diplo videos and does a streaming "best week ever"-style show on some blog was really deflating and sad for me
― ♆ (gr8080), Thursday, 26 July 2012 22:22 (9 months ago) Permalink
Pop music these days: it all sounds the same, survey reveals
― Alba, Friday, 27 July 2012 18:50 (9 months ago) Permalink
headline is prolly a nod to the Onion tbf
― price lo matalan (DJ Mencap), Friday, 27 July 2012 18:56 (9 months ago) Permalink
A couple of people have put together "seapunk" playlists on spotify. It's mostly two bands: Teams and Unicorn Kid. Hadn't heard either before but it's alright in that chillwave "I'm not actually sure if this is supposed to be good or not" sort of way.
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Friday, 27 July 2012 20:07 (9 months ago) Permalink
“Seapunk leather jacket with barnacles where the studs used to be.”
it's like wu tang clan for the iGeneration
― the late great, Friday, 27 July 2012 20:22 (9 months ago) Permalink
"yeah yeah my mom loves spongebob and finding nemo too"
"dude your mom is a seapunk MILF! awesome!"
― the late great, Friday, 27 July 2012 20:23 (9 months ago) Permalink
i wonder if azaelia banks has seen the penis on the little mermaid dvd box
*get* the sensibility of the generation that has spawned chillwave, witchhouse, etc.
chillwave = rickrolled w/ the sound off
witchhouse = putting the webcam at odd angles in a dark room so boys can't see your body
― the late great, Friday, 27 July 2012 20:25 (9 months ago) Permalink
new r&b = livejournal
new rap = blingee
this is actually a lot more pervasive than ringtones and hashtag lyrics
― the late great, Friday, 27 July 2012 20:26 (9 months ago) Permalink
i'm sorry this has gone from jokes to capt obvious ideas for you
Are Daily Mail articles banned from this thread, well, for being the Daily Mail?
Was celebration of free health care in Opening Ceremony a coded message to the US? Americans are left confusedhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2180227/London-2012-Olympics-Some-Americans-left-baffled-tribute-NHS-Mary-Poppins-Opening-Ceremony.html
― Theodora Celery, Saturday, 28 July 2012 20:22 (9 months ago) Permalink
http://sportinglife.aol.co.uk/olympics/news/article/22891/7969529/italian-walker-tests-positive
― record-collection rave (Mr Andy M), Monday, 6 August 2012 22:16 (9 months ago) Permalink
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/aug/11/devastated-by-my-sons-tattoo
― price lo matalan (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 11 August 2012 07:50 (9 months ago) Permalink
this is probably a work of fiction imho but there are tons of killer lines in there so I'm sharing it with respect not derision
― price lo matalan (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 11 August 2012 07:52 (9 months ago) Permalink
it's a quality article
― like a CD of the Smiths stapled to your forehead (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:01 (9 months ago) Permalink
I'm an accountant and I have a giant tattoo of topless woman riding a motorbike in to hell on my back. It's never burdened my career
― like a CD of the Smiths stapled to your forehead (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:03 (9 months ago) Permalink
She needs counselling.
― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:05 (9 months ago) Permalink
she needs inversion therapy
― like a CD of the Smiths stapled to your forehead (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:09 (9 months ago) Permalink
this makes me more determined to get my robert musil tattoo.
and yes it will be him riding a motorcycle into hell.
― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:25 (9 months ago) Permalink
have always fancied having "KANT" and "HUME" tattooed across my knuckles
― like a CD of the Smiths stapled to your forehead (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:26 (9 months ago) Permalink
the no regrets tattoo alternative is to get those nike running shoes customised, you can't have "cunt" tho which sort of ruins it.
― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:28 (9 months ago) Permalink
Oh my god that woman needs help.That is the most fucked up self absorbed shit I have ever read, making it all about her being "redundant", acting like he was dead or something? Jesus christ.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Saturday, 11 August 2012 09:40 (9 months ago) Permalink
We need a new thread for : Shit That Looks Like A Daily Mail Article (But Isn't)
― Chewton Mendip (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Saturday, 11 August 2012 11:43 (9 months ago) Permalink
Tess Morgan is a pseudonym
― kanye shiwen (dayo), Saturday, 11 August 2012 12:07 (9 months ago) Permalink
His father asks, "Does it hurt?"
"Yes," I say, cutting across this male bonding. "It does. Very much."
;_;
― the late great, Saturday, 11 August 2012 17:01 (9 months ago) Permalink
that was the money line imo
tbh i was ready for the big reveal to be that it was a "MOM" tattoo with a heart around it
― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, 11 August 2012 17:29 (9 months ago) Permalink
inside a goatse.cx
― the late great, Saturday, 11 August 2012 18:08 (9 months ago) Permalink
"But what if he wants to be a lawyer?"
"Or an accountant."
Given that he's a student, you can easily tell if he wants to be one of these by finding out if he is studying Law or Accountancy. Given your relationship with him, I would suggest the easiest way to found out would be by writing to the Admissions Department of his FE institution.
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Saturday, 11 August 2012 18:11 (9 months ago) Permalink
i didn't know that stuff about aristocratic tattoos
― goole, Saturday, 11 August 2012 21:34 (9 months ago) Permalink
On day three, still in a fog of misery, I say to him, "Shall we talk?"
We sit down with cups of coffee. I open my mouth to speak and end up crying instead. I say, "You couldn't have done anything to hurt me more."
He is cool and detached. He says, "I think you need to re-examine your prejudices."
lost it here
god that tattoo article might as well be a transcript bw me and my mom regarding any significant life choice I've made in the last 5 years
― electric point-electric counterpoint (m bison), Saturday, 11 August 2012 21:37 (9 months ago) Permalink
yeah this was kind of rad to learn about!!
― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, 11 August 2012 23:59 (9 months ago) Permalink
unbelievable
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Sunday, 12 August 2012 02:37 (9 months ago) Permalink
― ○ (gr8080), Saturday, August 11, 2012 12:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
ditto
― catbus otm (gbx), Sunday, 12 August 2012 22:54 (9 months ago) Permalink
I'm starting to feel like the Graun played us all, it just seems way too... weird. Like extreme irony.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Sunday, 12 August 2012 23:31 (9 months ago) Permalink
― drawings by teen cultists (Crabbits), Monday, 13 August 2012 02:09 (9 months ago) Permalink
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/24/entertainment-us-britain-prince-naked-idUSBRE87L08C20120824
not the reuters hed but the daily mail pictured
― goole, Friday, 24 August 2012 15:55 (8 months ago) Permalink
(that's the sun, not the mail)
― koogs, Friday, 24 August 2012 16:17 (8 months ago) Permalink
oh right
― goole, Friday, 24 August 2012 16:21 (8 months ago) Permalink
crosspost that headline to passive aggressive notes
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 24 August 2012 19:30 (8 months ago) Permalink
reuters on a roll with this
http://in.reuters.com/article/2012/08/25/us-usa-campaign-deathmetal-idINBRE87O03S20120825
― goole, Sunday, 26 August 2012 15:40 (8 months ago) Permalink
already added to wikipedia's death metal page
― get you ass to mahs (abanana), Sunday, 26 August 2012 16:34 (8 months ago) Permalink
idgi
― the late great, Sunday, 26 August 2012 16:37 (8 months ago) Permalink
will two live crew also not be performing?
http://www.militarytimes.com/news/2012/08/marine-fired-mattis-quote-tattoo-082712/
Union Pacific Railroad fired conductor Carl Newman of Kansas City, Mo., in 2010 because his tattoo violated the company’s “Violence in the Workplace” policy, according to a complaint filed in federal court Aug. 9.
The words were spoken by Gen. James Mattis, now head of U.S. Central Command, when he led Marines in Iraq in 2003.
Mattis, then a tough-talking major general known as “the Warrior Monk,” commanded 1st Marine Division during the invasion. According to Washington Post reporter Thomas E. Ricks’ book “Fiasco,” Mattis sent his tanks and artillery home after the successful invasion. He met with Iraqi tribal leaders and said, “I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I am pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you f--- with me, I’ll kill you all.”
― goole, Monday, 10 September 2012 21:06 (8 months ago) Permalink
that reminds me of my modest proposal to make police who shoot people get tear tattoos for each person they kill
― the late great, Monday, 10 September 2012 21:31 (8 months ago) Permalink
http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/2012/09/18/convicted-killer-says-hes-too-fat-to-be-executed/
― the late great, Thursday, 20 September 2012 06:11 (8 months ago) Permalink
reposting this one from the "most important local news story" thread:
http://djournal.com/view/full_story/20188758/article-Wicks-n-More-consumed-in-fire
― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Thursday, 20 September 2012 16:57 (8 months ago) Permalink
http://deadspin.com/5943994/stephen-a-smith-thought-an-article-about-him-in-the-onion-was-real
― am0n, Thursday, 20 September 2012 17:14 (8 months ago) Permalink
ok except it's already a very old joke at this point, this has got to be the mother of them all
― the late great, Thursday, 20 September 2012 22:09 (8 months ago) Permalink
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390443696604577647870908169992.html
― free-range chicken pox (Matt P), Saturday, 22 September 2012 21:48 (7 months ago) Permalink
Getting That Justin Vernon Body With Trainer Jeff Rogers
http://www.mtvhive.com/2012/09/24/bon-iver-workout/
― goole, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 15:34 (7 months ago) Permalink
haha, the late great, I posted in the Amish thread the Cleveland Plain Dealer headline on that story, which falls just short of all-time greatness:
― a shark with a rippling six pack (Phil D.), Tuesday, 25 September 2012 15:40 (7 months ago) Permalink
http://pitchfork.com/news/47960-full-scott-walker-album-details-revealed/
― Jeff W, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 19:10 (7 months ago) Permalink
his name was mullet?!?
― the late great, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 21:18 (7 months ago) Permalink
yeah his name was mullet. that kind of puts it more in mad magazine territory, though they'd probably change it to Potzrebie Mulletski or something.
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 25 September 2012 21:21 (7 months ago) Permalink
Buddhist "Iron Man" Found by Nazis Is from Space
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=buddhist-iron-man-found
― goole, Thursday, 27 September 2012 18:27 (7 months ago) Permalink
Bachmann: ‘We Must Ban Falafel’ in School Lunches
http://dailycurrant.com/2012/09/28/bachmann-we-ban-falafel-school-lunches/#.UGXBjenOHSI.facebook
"I have to ask Ms. Bachmann, why is that a problem? I mean some children like the taste of falafel, what's wrong with that?""Chris, falafel is a gateway food," responded Bachmann, "It starts with falafel, then the kids move on to shawarma. After a while they say 'hey this tastes good, I wonder what else comes from Arabia?' ""Before you know it our children are listening to Muslim music, reading the Koran, and plotting attacks against the homeland.""We need to stop these terror cakes now, before they infiltrate any further."
"Chris, falafel is a gateway food," responded Bachmann, "It starts with falafel, then the kids move on to shawarma. After a while they say 'hey this tastes good, I wonder what else comes from Arabia?' "
"Before you know it our children are listening to Muslim music, reading the Koran, and plotting attacks against the homeland."
"We need to stop these terror cakes now, before they infiltrate any further."
― flopson, Friday, 28 September 2012 18:53 (7 months ago) Permalink
the daily currant is a shitty onion-style fake-news website
― max, Friday, 28 September 2012 18:55 (7 months ago) Permalink
lol now i'm one of those people!
― flopson, Friday, 28 September 2012 18:58 (7 months ago) Permalink
terror cakes is roughly B+ tho
― Ham Lushbaugh (Eric H.), Friday, 28 September 2012 18:58 (7 months ago) Permalink
http://www.gameranx.com/updates/id/9639/article/glenn-beck-thinks-eve-online-is-a-front-for-the-cia/
― barthes simpson, Tuesday, 2 October 2012 13:29 (7 months ago) Permalink
"It starts with falafel, then the kids move on to shawarma."
OTM
― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:34 (7 months ago) Permalink
Falafel and kebab are totally opposite demographics over here.
― I got the Boyzone, I got the remedy (ledge), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:36 (7 months ago) Permalink
― so, apparently we're not in a cave. we're in a.. monsters belly! (wolves lacan), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:43 (7 months ago) Permalink
christine lagarde from the IMF threatening argentina with a red card if they don't comply with their orders.
"Argentina is good in football and it certainly understands what we are talking about," said Ms Lagarde.
such condescension! good thing cristina fernandez told her to fuck off.
― so, apparently we're not in a cave. we're in a.. monsters belly! (wolves lacan), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 14:49 (7 months ago) Permalink
http://www.startribune.com/local/minneapolis/172500101.html?refer=y
Undisclosed 'concern' has Mpls. South HS in lockdown; police involved
Minneapolis South High School is in a lockdown Wednesday for what officials are calling a “concern in the school community.”
During the lockdown, classes are being conducted as usual, but students will remain in the rooms, the campus was closed during the lunch period and students with an open hour are not allowed to leave the building, said School District spokeswoman Rachel Hicks.
The district has yet to disclose what has prompted the lockdown.
“We are working collaboratively with the Minneapolis Police Department to monitor the concern,” Hicks said in a written statement. “However, we are unable to share details of the concern because of our ongoing investigation.”
Police Sgt. William Palmer confirmed that his department is involved “to a degree,” but he referred questions back to the district.
― goole, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 20:08 (7 months ago) Permalink
That would certainly be one of the drier Onion stories.
― pplains, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 20:13 (7 months ago) Permalink
certainly would.
― goole, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 20:14 (7 months ago) Permalink
http://consumerist.com/2012/10/03/fancy-new-taco-bells-hope-to-go-upscale-with-eaterys-image/
“We wanted a look that’s totally different, to show that we’re an upscale brand,” said the executive VP of big-time Taco Bell franchisee Alvarado Companies. “You walk in and it feels new and fresh.”
― bell biv devo (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 3 October 2012 23:41 (7 months ago) Permalink
haha OMG is taco bell gonna try to 'dinner service' like burger king did in the late 80s???
― balls, Wednesday, 3 October 2012 23:48 (7 months ago) Permalink
I'd never seen Demolition Man before, but a friend pointed out on fb that this is a movie prophecy come true. Wiki says: "All restaurants are Taco Bells, which "won the franchise wars" and evolved into fine-dining establishments that serve nouvelle cuisine."
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 4 October 2012 00:05 (7 months ago) Permalink
Norwegian prisoners livid about having to wear slippers in the visiting room.Hard to play football (google-translated link)
― Øystein, Thursday, 4 October 2012 09:03 (7 months ago) Permalink
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2012/10/09/roach-eating-contentant-dies.html
― obamana (abanana), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:21 (7 months ago) Permalink
sadly that doesn't sound like an onion article to me at all ... not because someone died but because since that lady died during the water-drinking contest it doesn't seem so unlikely anymore
― the late great, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 17:20 (7 months ago) Permalink
Yeah but water intoxication is a thing and roach intoxication just isn't.
OTOH it's possible he died from suddenly being massively, massively squicked out.
― Plasmon, Wednesday, 10 October 2012 03:16 (7 months ago) Permalink
Police use Taser on blind man after stick mistaken for sword
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-19979184
― koogs, Wednesday, 17 October 2012 12:34 (7 months ago) Permalink
Like they need an excuse to beat up someone.
― abanana, Wednesday, 17 October 2012 16:45 (7 months ago) Permalink
http://www.vita.mn/crawl/174838641.html
― there is no dana, only (goole), Friday, 19 October 2012 03:56 (7 months ago) Permalink
― zvookster, Friday, 19 October 2012 04:09 (7 months ago) Permalink
BREAKING: A former Minnesota actor is currently looking for work.
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Friday, 19 October 2012 14:31 (7 months ago) Permalink
http://www.blackyouthproject.com/2012/10/spike-lee-fired-from-james-brown-biopic-replaced-by-the-help-director/
― Neutral Coliseums (Matt P), Monday, 29 October 2012 23:27 (6 months ago) Permalink
oof.
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 00:59 (6 months ago) Permalink
Hah, srsly misunderstood that as "the Help! director" - Richard Lester to helm madcap romp based on the life of James Brown
― Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 15:43 (6 months ago) Permalink
Me too.
― One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:04 (6 months ago) Permalink
see that would be something
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:59 (6 months ago) Permalink
Bush's FEMA Director During Katrina Criticizes Obama For Responding To Sandy Too Quickly
http://thinkprogress.org/security/2012/10/30/1110901/bush-fema-director-katrina-hits-obama-sandy/
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 17:39 (6 months ago) Permalink
http://www.newsnet5.com//dpp/news/local_news/cleveland_metro/woman-who-drove-along-sidewalk-to-avoid-stopping-for-cleveland-school-bus-must-wear-idiot-sign
― Evan, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:13 (6 months ago) Permalink
is that, like, allowed?
― crüt, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:23 (6 months ago) Permalink
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 12:39 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
wow, seriously? are we sure this isn't a joke
― Raymond Cummings, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:45 (6 months ago) Permalink
i read that for 5 minutes before i realised this wasn't the real Onion thread
― movember spawned a nobster (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:49 (6 months ago) Permalink
awesome
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 03:51 (6 months ago) Permalink
lmao @ the schoolbus passing video
― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 21:50 (6 months ago) Permalink
More from Cleveland, this time from our free weekly, SCENE, a review of chain restaurant/Hooter's competitor The Tilted Kilt. Some highlights:
The Tilted Kilt has been labeled a "breastaurant," but looks will only go so far. It takes more than a good-looking staff with partially exposed assets to survive....The clientele was a virtual Ellis Island of diners. To our right, a family of four with two teenagers dined. Sprinkled around the rest of the bar and seating area were business people in suits, a group of women celebrating an occasion, some families, and groups of guys watching the game. They all seemed to be comfortable and enjoying the sports bar atmosphere.A kilt-wearing server arrived quickly, and showing professional training, identified herself, asked if we had ever eaten there before, and walked us through the menu. She told us that the staff is encouraged to sit with guests and strike up a conversation, which is exactly what she did, talking with us about everything from the Browns to the casino and Cleveland in general. . . . We started off with the Irish nachos. Replacing the usual tortilla chips with house-made potato chips is a unique take on this perennial favorite. The Kilt wisely uses "old school" liquid cheese sauce, and as a bonus, the sauce is a blend of cheeses, giving it a slightly elevated taste. The ground beef on the nachos was uneventful and under-seasoned, calling to mind Taco Bell's Nachos Bell Grande.
The clientele was a virtual Ellis Island of diners. To our right, a family of four with two teenagers dined. Sprinkled around the rest of the bar and seating area were business people in suits, a group of women celebrating an occasion, some families, and groups of guys watching the game. They all seemed to be comfortable and enjoying the sports bar atmosphere.
A kilt-wearing server arrived quickly, and showing professional training, identified herself, asked if we had ever eaten there before, and walked us through the menu. She told us that the staff is encouraged to sit with guests and strike up a conversation, which is exactly what she did, talking with us about everything from the Browns to the casino and Cleveland in general.
. . . We started off with the Irish nachos. Replacing the usual tortilla chips with house-made potato chips is a unique take on this perennial favorite. The Kilt wisely uses "old school" liquid cheese sauce, and as a bonus, the sauce is a blend of cheeses, giving it a slightly elevated taste. The ground beef on the nachos was uneventful and under-seasoned, calling to mind Taco Bell's Nachos Bell Grande.
Read it all, I beg you.
― C-3PO Sharkey (Phil D.), Thursday, 8 November 2012 16:54 (6 months ago) Permalink
that woman actually did it multiple times!
― 乒乓, Thursday, 8 November 2012 17:36 (6 months ago) Permalink
xp Even though we were stuffed to the gills, I pleasantly coerced myself into a dessert.
I think he means he jerked off.
― Deafening silence (DL), Thursday, 8 November 2012 17:47 (6 months ago) Permalink
yeah i assumed by the camera and the tone of the driver's voice that she'd done this routinely. bizarre that it didn't occur to her to just leave ten minutes earlier or choose a different route.
― balls, Thursday, 8 November 2012 19:18 (6 months ago) Permalink
"Irish nachos" seems offensive somehow
― Number None, Thursday, 8 November 2012 22:13 (6 months ago) Permalink
Irish Nachos are like regular nachos but instead of tortilla chips there are crispy sliced of baked potatoes on the bottom!
oh ffs
― pplains, Friday, 9 November 2012 00:06 (6 months ago) Permalink
Jewish Nachos = Matzchos
― Knut Horowitz, Able-Bodied Investment Banker and Ladies Man (Hurting 2), Friday, 9 November 2012 00:46 (6 months ago) Permalink
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/11/republicans-consider-welcoming-people-who-believe-in-math-and-science.html
― CGI fridays (Edward III), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:08 (6 months ago) Permalink
nice try tho
― CGI fridays (Edward III), Friday, 9 November 2012 17:09 (6 months ago) Permalink
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/10/02/nebraska-man-accused-attacking-wife-with-sandwich/
― Evan, Friday, 9 November 2012 18:03 (6 months ago) Permalink
The newspaper says court documents don't detail the ingredients, but a deputy found several pieces of lunchmeat on the carpet outside a bedroom and some pieces of bread in the bedroom.
Oh god...
― Evan, Friday, 9 November 2012 18:13 (6 months ago) Permalink
http://www.wpxi.com/news/news/local/kung-fu-instructor-students-fight-armed-robber-squ/nSxph/
― 乒乓, Sunday, 11 November 2012 23:40 (6 months ago) Permalink
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1112/83709.html#ixzz2C1DTuXgG
― Online Webinar Event for Dads (harbl), Monday, 12 November 2012 14:35 (6 months ago) Permalink
whoa, a nsfw warning would've been nice for that headline.
― pplains, Monday, 12 November 2012 14:43 (6 months ago) Permalink
lol i just clicked it and they change the headline. now i can't remember what it said but it was better. it was like Grover Norquist: Romney a 'poopy head'
― Online Webinar Event for Dads (harbl), Monday, 12 November 2012 14:52 (6 months ago) Permalink
Interview is here: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=50134975n
About 1:45 in.
― Bobby Ken Doll (Eric H.), Monday, 12 November 2012 14:53 (6 months ago) Permalink
― pplains, Monday, 12 November 2012 15:15 (6 months ago) Permalink
Mitt Romney: Painted As Poop
― pplains, Monday, 12 November 2012 15:16 (6 months ago) Permalink
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Monday, 12 November 2012 18:24 (6 months ago) Permalink
wc
― Yorkshire lass born and bred, that's me, said Katriona's hologram. (thomp), Monday, 12 November 2012 18:26 (6 months ago) Permalink
was waiting for that
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Monday, 12 November 2012 18:26 (6 months ago) Permalink
pretty sure she came up on the lifecoach guru nuthouse thread
― goole, Monday, 12 November 2012 18:28 (6 months ago) Permalink
http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2012/11/07/police-robbery-thwarted-after-chinese-restaurant-workers-fail-to-understand-demands/
― 乒乓, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 12:44 (6 months ago) Permalink
I should have known better than to start reading the comments section.
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 18:22 (6 months ago) Permalink
http://pitchfork.com/news/48689-andrew-wk-named-cultural-ambassador-to-the-middle-east-by-us-department-of-state/
― Evan, Sunday, 25 November 2012 14:46 (5 months ago) Permalink
???
― goole, Sunday, 25 November 2012 19:09 (5 months ago) Permalink
I know right?
― Evan, Monday, 26 November 2012 05:17 (5 months ago) Permalink
Party over :(
http://news.yahoo.com/us-rescinds-offer-send-performer-andrew-w-k-212201260.html
― a worthy pioner! (weatheringdaleson), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:54 (5 months ago) Permalink
"among other things"
aw :/
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:57 (5 months ago) Permalink
so i saw this "killer karaoke" thing on fb today and am wondering if that is real or onion-y or what?
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/11/26/3114359/man-who-died-during-roach-eating.html
― elan, Tuesday, 27 November 2012 05:34 (5 months ago) Permalink
i guess the u.s. is still in a depression huh
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/11/28/is-praying-for-a-lottery-win-frowned-upon-depends-on-who-you-ask/
― abanana, Thursday, 29 November 2012 07:56 (5 months ago) Permalink
http://gothamist.com/2012/12/05/red_cross_drops_off_trashbag_of_ham.php
Red Cross Delivers Trashbag Of Broken Hamburgers To Sandy Victims
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:49 (5 months ago) Permalink
haha jeez
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:52 (5 months ago) Permalink
my heart wants to believe that those came from the mitt romney non-campaign event
― i dream of booze pinata (jjjusten), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:53 (5 months ago) Permalink
maybe it's some kind-of "art prank" like what this guy did: 'Hamburglar' Artist Throws Gnawed Cheeseburgers at People From Bike
― Spectrum, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:58 (5 months ago) Permalink
Sean Penn blasts fellow actors for putting money before arthttp://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/dec/14/sean-penn-blasts-fellow-actors
― wolves lacan, Friday, 14 December 2012 18:57 (5 months ago) Permalink
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Friday, 14 December 2012 21:07 (5 months ago) Permalink
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2012/12/18/quebec-theft-maple-syrup-court.html8M Quebec maple syrup heist leads to arrestsMaple syrup seized in Quebec theft probe to be releasedQuebec police conduct 2nd maple syrup raidMaple syrup seized in N.B. may have been stolen in QuebecPolice search warehouse for missing maple syrup
― silverfish, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:13 (5 months ago) Permalink
whoops, first one should have been
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2012/12/18/quebec-theft-maple-syrup-court.html8M Quebec maple syrup heist leads to arrests
― silverfish, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:15 (5 months ago) Permalink
$18M Quebec maple syrup heist leads to arrests
― silverfish, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:16 (5 months ago) Permalink
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/drive-thru-prank-leaves-workers-questioning-reality-214808352.html
for the headline
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 17 January 2013 03:12 (4 months ago) Permalink
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21043693
A security check on a US company has reportedly revealed one of its staff was outsourcing his work to China.
The software developer, in his 40s, is thought to have spent his workdays surfing the web, watching cat videos on YouTube and browsing Reddit and eBay.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 17 January 2013 10:59 (4 months ago) Permalink
Well done that man!
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:05 (4 months ago) Permalink
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:06 (4 months ago) Permalink
there was (still is) a blog called 'four hour work week' where he pretty much advocates doing this.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_4-Hour_Workweek
― koogs, Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:18 (4 months ago) Permalink
xp some discussion of that stupid graphic in batshit rightwing cartoons: 2012 and imaginary romney presidency years edition
― Neil S, Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:20 (4 months ago) Permalink
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/01/republicans-accuse-obama-of-using-position-as-president-to-lead-country.html
― velvet undergrad (diamonddave85), Friday, 18 January 2013 16:25 (4 months ago) Permalink
well that's certainly taking the thread title literally.
― s.clover, Friday, 18 January 2013 16:31 (4 months ago) Permalink
ha
― zero dark (s1ocki), Friday, 18 January 2013 16:45 (4 months ago) Permalink
headline ambiguity funnies
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2013/01/20/us-fake-sept-11-coins-settlement.html
― abanana, Sunday, 20 January 2013 14:17 (4 months ago) Permalink
9/11 coins was a hoax
― zero dark (s1ocki), Sunday, 20 January 2013 16:20 (4 months ago) Permalink
Manti has an Adidas football cleat box filled with them
― Rihanna Tootysalsafroyo (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 20 January 2013 17:18 (4 months ago) Permalink
Snow Plow Driver Brags About Burying Cars In YouTube Video
― elan, Sunday, 24 February 2013 18:41 (2 months ago) Permalink
Cannibal Cop Seemed Like Regular Cop At Work
― arby's, Sunday, 3 March 2013 03:48 (2 months ago) Permalink
104-Year-Old Woman Forced to Lie about Her Age on Facebook
― diamonddave85, Tuesday, 5 March 2013 20:41 (2 months ago) Permalink
Austrian cardinal's mother hopes he doesn't become pope
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 12 March 2013 09:38 (2 months ago) Permalink
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/03/taliban-greets-chuck-hagel-with-bomb.html
― goole, Tuesday, 12 March 2013 16:41 (2 months ago) Permalink
"Nick Cave To Unleash 30 Multi Coloured Horses At New York’s Grand Central Terminal"
http://www.yatzer.com/HEARD-NY-by-Nick-Cave
(which looks great and is only funny because of the name (it's not THAT nick cave))
― koogs, Friday, 15 March 2013 15:06 (2 months ago) Permalink
Cops: Teen who said Ninjas attacked him actually shot himself
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Saturday, 16 March 2013 19:56 (2 months ago) Permalink
CNN Grieves That Guilty Verdict Ruined Promising Lives of Steubenville Rapists
― kate78, Sunday, 17 March 2013 20:56 (2 months ago) Permalink
Jihadi Web Forums Are Losing Members to Twitter, Facebook, Death
― goole, Thursday, 21 March 2013 20:05 (1 month ago) Permalink
ha, best use of non-parallel construction ever
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 21 March 2013 20:09 (1 month ago) Permalink
@beautypill 3mThe last line of this article is absolutely intended to read like an Onion piece. Tell me I'm wrong. http://wapo.st/11ztSXg
― some dude, Sunday, 24 March 2013 22:10 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/weird/NATL-Irish-Town-Legalizes-Drinking-and-Driving-199867031.html
Healy-Rae told the Times he thinks the measure will help preserve pub culture, lower the risk of suicide and attack isolation in the small town.
― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 18:55 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4203460/Schools-ban-children-making-best-friends.html
Actual article not Onion-esque, but the concept has promise.
― ljubljana, Saturday, 30 March 2013 12:43 (1 month ago) Permalink
The picture and caption of this article look Onionish.
― Josefa, Tuesday, 9 April 2013 22:35 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/04/11/newser-beaver-kills-man/2074145/
― Mordy, Thursday, 11 April 2013 22:21 (1 month ago) Permalink
Boston Dunkin' Donuts Remain Open To 'Take Care Of Law Enforcement And First Responders'
― unprepared guitar (Edward III), Friday, 19 April 2013 19:02 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/1440/20130418/tylenol-eases-existential-anxiety.htm
― The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Friday, 19 April 2013 19:15 (1 month ago) Permalink
that link starts 2 videos with sound when you open it
― abanana, Friday, 19 April 2013 22:54 (1 month ago) Permalink
the chains of worry are forged in idle hours
― The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Friday, 19 April 2013 22:58 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/04/north-korean-missile-test-delayed-by-windows-8.html
― the Upperchest (crüt), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:31 (3 weeks ago) Permalink
oh wait "borowitz report" nevermind
― the Upperchest (crüt), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:40 (3 weeks ago) Permalink
smh
― ampersand cooper black (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:40 (3 weeks ago) Permalink
\o_O/
― the Upperchest (crüt), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:41 (3 weeks ago) Permalink
Fuckin Borowitz
― how's life, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 20:10 (3 weeks ago) Permalink
quite literally "shit that looks like an onion article but isn't"
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 20:24 (3 weeks ago) Permalink