DA CAPO BEST MUSIC WRITING 2013

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/countygrind/2012/04/adele_plump_female_musicians_sex.php

adele_plump_female_musicians_sex.php

sigh

This list isn't about proclaiming exceptions or wearing a strong enough pair of beer goggles; it's about acknowledging that even the big girls need some love, and we're down to give to 'em.

what the

But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.
But that version of Aretha rolled down the fried-chicken-and-waffles mountain a long time ago.

this dude also wrote http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/cultist/2012/01/10_sexiest_super_bowl_commerci.php

didn't expect 'Broward' to be an actual place

I'm assuming this dude got paid to do this, right

8. Doritos - Ali Landry

This is a personal favorite, probably because it came out during the height our of teenage masturbatory fury. If this list were named "Hot Girls Who Had a Moment of Fame Because of Their Hotness but Couldn't Take It Anywhere Because They Had Absolutely No Talent At All," then Ali Landry would be way at the top, running a very far second to Megan Fox.

I'm assuming this dude got paid to do this, right

― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:15 AM (25 seconds ago) Bookmark

$40, which is almsot worse than not even being paid at all

Was just going to ask that question (about getting paid).

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

that URL is really going nowhere good

this is basically why I don't read music blogs in a nutshell

a cheerily sexist nutshell

Was hard to pick a line out of it that wasn't deeply offensive. Refuse to go back to see if there is one. Is the search for content really this desparate?

yes

didn't expect 'Broward' to be an actual place

I take it you've never seen Cops.

Sinead O'Conner

Straight up, this is a pity bang.

disgusting

http://www.collegemagazine.com/files/image/chiddy%20bang.jpg

Straight up, this is a chitty bang.

Bro-ward Ho!

how did they manage to hold off on stretching this out to five pages

I pity anyone who lives in Broward and Palm Beach so it may explain his attitude.

After five seconds of reflection I am pretty sure I know what you actually mean but, given the article, my first thought was "Is Alfred saying, 'poor Broward dudes, all they have is big people'?????????"

Nice ironical thread title btw

http://flavorwire.com/283266/a-selection-of-the-most-genuinely-terrifying-people-in-hip-hop

i would read that but no way i'm giving that shit 10 clickthrus

tho i did notice the r. kelly tag, which makes a lot of sense, seeing as he's a rapper who often threatens violence

It’s a reminder of the fact that when hip hop abandons its tiresome obsession with idiot materialism and posturing, it can still sound vital and relevant.

ffs

the combination thread title + first post is the funniest thing ive seen on ilx in ages. cheers Whiney http://i.imgur.com/5YkiA.gif

Listicle idea: Fat black women that Ric Delgado would fuck, but Tom Hawking is scared of

$40, which is almost worse than not even being paid at all

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:16 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

OTM

it is semi-disappointing that "listicle" is a portmanteau of "list" and "article" when most examples end up coming across as a portmanteau of "list" and "testicle"

portmanteau of Liszt and icicle

Aw DJP you should have replaced the second 'list' with 'lick'

the writer of the BROward piece is, a cursory facebook search reveals, not actually 14 or even 20 but THIRTY-ONE :O

I really shouldn't wish death or violence on anyone, but...

Anyone that’s known me for any period of time has probably had a chance to read The Whispers. If you haven’t… well, maybe you should question the closeness of our friendship (which I’m guessing must be close since you’re reading this blog).

I started writing The Whispers in 2000, after one of many over-dramatic crush on girl friend situation. Let me tell you, there is no better inspiration than getting rejected by a crush (especially a crush that had been cultivated for years) and listening to Henry Rollins’ Hard Volume.

The Whispers came out of me faster than anything else I’d written at the time, which by that point entailed research papers and bad poetry. Then for the next twelve years I’ve been revising and rewriting it.

I lost count when the revisions reached twenty, and that was probably a couple of years ago. I’ve worked and molded this story, never feeling quite comfortable with it, especially when I got negative feedback from friends and other writers.

I would put the story down periodically, let it breathe, then pick it up years later. Then, this past year, I picked it up again. In the last two or three years I have been writing every single day. And this time things were different. Normally, when I would work on the 4,300 word short story, I would find myself lost at times. I would lose track of the point I was making, where it fit in the context of the story, and even agonizing about single word changes.

This time I totally kicked it’s ass.

the typo kicked your ass

http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/crossfade/2011/09/five_very_masturbatory_music_videos_1980s_1990s.php

I started writing The Whispers in 2000, after one of many over-dramatic crush on girl friend situation.

ARRRGH

the combination thread title + first post is the funniest thing ive seen on ilx in ages

lol yes

The Whispers came out of me faster than anything else

this is total BS but

Sarcasm doesn't always come across in writing, and it certainly didn't in this post. I get why commenters below called this "the most insulting thing on the Internet," and that's why it has been removed. New Times regrets the offense we've caused and hopes you'll stick with us in our next attempt at sarcasm. -- Eric Barton

hahaha wait, their retraction basically states "sorry for offending you but that was sarcastic; we'd never sleep with these fat women"????????????

New Times regrets the offense we've caused

Isn't offense their whole business model?

three cheers to commenter "very good article"

(that was me)

nice work

i'm not sure which is worse: the editor implying that no male at the broward new time would dare fuck a fat woman or that he thinks we can't take 3 minutes and look at ric delgado's archive to find a host of other, non-"sarcastic" posts

unless ric cordero never actually beat it to "rump shaker", but i don't think that's possible

er, ric delgado

also commented on on The Bieber Bowl: The 2010 MTV Video Music Awards Live Blog last year

sort of disappointed it isn't up anymore. good ammo. not even cached.

yeah, taking it down is pretty cowardly

Someone somewhere surely archived it.

It's available here: http://ohnotheywrittnt.tumblr.com/

Ric Delgado's publishing a novel, guys.

Another ebook sensation.

ha on twitter he pulls out the "BUT THEN WE'D HAVE NO RICHARD PRYOR!!" line

http://ohnotheywrittnt.tumblr.com/post/21796381149/sarcasm-doesnt-always-come-across-in-writing-and

what was the whole Whispers thing from?

His novel!

oh he has a website!

(oh shit)

I realized a year ago that I didn’t want to be a stuffy writer, blogger, or journalist, asking questions like:

“What has Miami done for your writing? What do you think of Vice City?”

5 Questions with JJ Colagrande, REVMiami.com, March 31, 2010

How boring is that? Now, new and improved Ric Delgado writer, asks questions like:

“I’m required to ask you questions about Miami, so have you ever done cocaine off a stripper’s thigh, then had to hide a dead body in the Everglades?”

Nikki Glaser Jokes About A Lot of Messed Up Stuff at Miami Science Museum, Miami New Times, April 12, 2012

Bam! Now that’s a question.

RicDelgadoRocks After today's twitter beatdown, I unwind by listening to a girl blowing smoke rings out of her vagina on the Howard Stern Show.

To further my writing career, I knew I had to interject a lot more of my personality into my writing. And I think I’ve been doing that pretty damn well.

But, as a writer, particularly for a local Miami blog, there is a gigantic flaw in my plan to become rich and famous: NOBODY READS IN THIS CITY!

Yes, it is the sad and pathetic truth, but Miami dun’t reed too goods.

RicDelgadoRocks After today's twitter beatdown, I unwind by listening to a girl blowing smoke rings out of her vagina on the Howard Stern Show.

that really seems like a trick that loses a lot without the visual component

i emailed the editor he emailed he back. his response:

Jordan,

Sorry you feel that way. I wonder what kind of apology you'd suggest instead.

Best,

he really seems like a dick who loses a lot without the visual component

xp How about one that doesn't shift blame to the reader for not getting the intended "sarcasm" and one that includes the bit about how Ric Delgado's submissions will no longer be welcome by any outlet of the New Times corp?

And if thou gaze long into a dick, the dick will also gaze into thee

wait dicks have eyes...?

xp How about one that doesn't shift blame to the reader for not getting the intended "sarcasm" and one that includes the bit about how Ric Delgado's submissions will no longer be welcome by any outlet of the New Times corp?

― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, April 25, 2012 5:58 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

yeah, i responded w/ this (in so many words) so we'll see if he gets back to me

RicDelgadoRocks

wait dicks have eyes...?

I've affixed googly eyes to mine.

it bears repeating

RicDelgadoRocks

this is terrible, no doubt, but i have to admit my second thought was "these are the shitbags now taking beer money out pf my pocket."

Where are Delgado's friends in all this? Why are they letting him watch so many Tosh.0 reruns?

I don't think he has friends, unless you count realdolls.

So he's supposedly daring people to write in and get him fired...

Anyway, this link you should all happily click on:

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/countygrind/2012/04/why_rick_delgado_pleasantly_plump_listicle_was_not_okay.php

HUGELY INFLUENTIAL ONLINE VIA HIS TWITTER FEED

Trying to parse this:

Ric Delgado ‏
@RicDelgadoRocks
Good piece by @ariellec: Another View: Why Ric Delgado's "Pleasantly Plump" Listicle Yesterday Was Not Okay

tess_rae
@tess_rae
@RicDelgadoRocks @ariellec not really clear on how you can say this is a good piece while continuing to defend all you wrote.

Ric Delgado
@RicDelgadoRocks
@tess_rae @ariellec is a great writer who made clear and well written points.

I didn't know H@rvey was the author of that tumblr!

In another response, he told a woman she "must be single" for calling him out.

that really seems like a trick that loses a lot without the visual component

microphone placement is key

Ric Delgado ‏ @RicDelgadoRocks Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
I appreciate you thinking there was a first time. RT @heycalliejoy: @RicDelgadoRocks, also, good luck getting laid ever again.

okay that is the first funny thing I've seen dude write

he should have to spend the rest of his life w that article stapled to his clothes.

"maybe you've heard of me? i wrote that thing about adele's kankles. i'm kind of a big deal."

now that they've caught the rogue blogger, I'm sure the New Times will never post another offensive, inane listicle again

that piece is good and all the points are OTM and i understand why a woman would want to write it but i guess i find slightly regrettable that neither the male writer of the piece nor the male editor of the paper decided to write that piece -- it sorta reinforces the lasting message of "hey, we're sorry that we offended you, but WE don't think we did anything wrong"

also how the hell was this published by a female section editor smh

She probably thought it was going to generate a lot of hits so she didn't care about the content being offensive.

isn't spike tv's director a woman or something

maybe the job was a prize she won at the "guys' choice awards"

"hit count" is the answer

Ric Delgado ‏ @RicDelgadoRocks Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
@ariellec if comedians concerned themselves with the people that got offended then there'd be no Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Louie CK, etc.

yeah, i'm pretty much over the sexism thing and more pissed that he sees himself as following in the footsteps of louis ck and richard pryor

move over, dennis perrin, we got ourselves a new comedy outlaw

All of those comedians concerned themselves meticulously with the people they were offending, tho

Yeah, Ric here misses the absolute essence of what made those guys who they are.

it blows my mind this guy is over 30

yeah, i'd've pegged his iq somewhere in the low teens

lol

@LennyBruceRocks

lol

It blows my mind that he thinks a publisher would accept a novel he wrote.

The sense of superiority coming from the rock crit circle jerk that forms when something like this happens is almost as repellent as the original article. I can understand a few tweets, a few comments. But whole blogs getting set up seems a bit much.

yeah, a bunch of jerks feeling superior because they didn't write "Plump Female Musicians I Would Bone"

yeah dudes i for one am really sick of all the shrill protest that occurs when something misogynistic surfaces in american culture

x-post, you must be single.

The sense of superiority coming from the rock crit circle jerk that forms when something like this happens is almost as repellent as the original article. I can understand a few tweets, a few comments. But whole blogs getting set up seems a bit much.

there's still time to be included in Delgado's followup: "Sympathy Trolls I Would Bone."

Ric Delgado
Yesterday via Twitter
I'm going to hell for this one: 8 Pleasantly Plump Female Musicians We'd Like to Get Down with http://t.co/a1O4jIWp via @NewTimesBroward
@RicDelgadoRocks on Twitt · via Twitter

Cary Garcia I knew you would have Beth Ditto on there! Love her!
Yesterday at 9:46am via mobile · Like

It blows my mind that he thinks a publisher would accept a novel he wrote.

― Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, April 26, 2012 4:44 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Saw someone reading Tucker Max's book at the airport. Wanted to spill hot coffee on his shit face

it's just a book, man

if we can't hate shit books and shit bloggers what else can we hate?

ourselves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP8Pe8tp2TQ

position position really trying to make some major moves -- i see you

he'll be a regular in about 3 months

Position Position has been a regular poster for over a year

PositionPositionRocks

The sense of superiority coming from the rock crit circle jerk that forms when something like this happens is almost as repellent as the original article.

lollllllllllll

"what's almost as bad as this horrible human being is all these people who think they're better than him"

8 Pleasantly Trolly Listicles We'd Like To Circle Jerk To

As noted on Twitter by Whiney, fin:

Arielle Castillo ‏
@ariellec

The final update on Plumpgate is that Ric Delgado got canned as a contributor to New Times Broward-Palm Beach.

lol

Courtney E. Smith ‏
@courtneyesmith

@ariellec And the chorus of Hole's "Plump" plays when he walks out of the building?

Arielle Castillo
@ariellec

@courtneyesmith well.... He's a freelancer, so maybe it wafted in the air as he mourned behind his own laptop?

Also, true:

grayson currin ‏
@currincy

@SteveKandell @1000TimesYes @ariellec Ric Delgado is a punching bag. Fire the people who hired him and gave him a login.

8 Reasons We Need To Stop Slapping On A "-Gate" Every Time Two People Disagree With Each Other

http://cdn2.mamapop.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/oregon-trail-caulk-the-wagon-ford-the-river-300x196.gif

Yeah I'm so fkin sick of the -gate suffix.

Ric Delgado is a punching bag. Fire the people who hired him and gave him a login.

yeah this

"-Gate"gate

thirding the gatehate

gatehategate

tbh i dunno if my bloodlust has been so inaquately quenched that i think multiple people who didn't even write this thing but lacked the hands-on attention to detail or and/or moral compass to keep it from going online need to lose their jobs. especially since afaik the actual author is just losing some freelancing income, not a full-time job.

"We've had so many -gates the last few years: Nannygate, Filegate, Travelgate, Paulgate. When Bob Dole's elected he'll show'em what a door is!"

- Bob Dole

bob dole bringin the lols

he wrote sins not tragedies

i really should have said "loles"

sad i missed this entire ordeal

but also kind of happy about it

Agree re editors taking blame here. You don't have to publish everything that's submitted. And the idea must have been run past an editor to commission it in the first place.

"loles" would be rueful, almost glum lols IMO

Bob Lole

Bob Dololo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b28HqlCBYgs

i am the way into the lolorous city

Ric is a good friend of mine and I'll be the first to say he has an odd sense of humor. I've known him long enough to know that he really means no harm. He's not Louis CK or Lenny Bruce. If he was he would be touring the country with offensive humor. What bothers me though is how the editor is getting no crap for this. Ric is just a freelance writer. It's not like he runs the paper. Obviously the editor thought it was a decent article or he wouldn't of published it. But I get the politics behind it. And I know you were an editor and your still a freelance writer so you get it. You had to write this article and I understand. I also understand why people got offended. Ironically through out of all this destruction it has made Ric one of the most popular freelance writers in Miami. Everybody would say for the wrong reasons but the fame is there either way. I mean he has an editor from Spin writing about him. He can actually turn this into an obnoxious, personality that's completely sarcastic and people will listen just to get offended. Because when it comes down to it the majority of this country wants to hear fart and dick jokes. I personally don't dig it but I'm the minority. There's ignorance everywhere. That's just the world we live in. It doesn't make it okay but it's reality.

"Signed, Ric"

he's popular because Whiney mentioned him!

This dude has a bright future ahead of him as a regular guest-star on Bob & Tom

this dude has a bright future ahead of him as an occasionally revived thread

Hahaha

the Larry the Cable Guy of music critics

http://www.sickchirpse.com/2012/05/07/when-will-florence-welch-just-fuck-off/

Ah this now has its own thread: Music Criticism 2012, UK Division: "Instead of a review of this performer's concert, here are 50 insulting remarks about her appearance."

its on some UK fake-Vice site instead of a legit source so wgaf about some blogger imo

oh yes I was forgetting that the original article in this thread was published in that eminent music crit bible, the blogs section of the Broward Palm Beach New Times.

worth it to push the thread onto the first page or two of google results for his name imo

xp that is at least a newspaper of some description aiui?

hey great music journalism is great music journalism!

So

When are winners gonna be announced for this

As soon as Editor Ric Delgado publishes the winners' names.

it's really a question of which recent village voice articles are the most deserving

"winners"

sigh

i'm actually not referring to the scandal chronicled in this thread - more to "BEST NEW MUSIC 2012"

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/11/is_taylor_swift_being_taken_too_seriously/

so many things wrong in that article that the answer to the question doesn't end up seeming particularly important or interesting.

Still no announcement, huh?

I'm sure I won't make it anyway, should stop caring

Oh, come on!

?????

RIP BMW?

Please contact us!

For Best Music Writing-related publishing inquires: musicwriting at gmail dot com

For Best Music Writing ballot entries: bestmusicwritingseries at gmail dot com

For Feedback PRess related inquires of any type: wemakefeedback at gmail dot com

Our mailing address is:

Feedback Press
603 West 115th St #120
New York, NY 10025

Twitter: @feedbackpress, @musicwriting

No new tweets since fall 2012 from the musicwriting twitter address

2012 Best Music Writing board members: Adam Curley, Jewly Hight, Miles Marshal Lewis, Bongani Madondo, Michaelangelo Matos, Anupa Mistry, Ann Powers, Mark Richardson, Alex Ross and Victoria Segal.

Daphne Carr and Tobias Carroll

aka Feedback Press

aka pubishers of the Best Music Writing series (and more)

No news in ages. Where did the Kickstarter money go?

http://gigaom.com/2013/08/22/kickstarter-kept-the-best-american-music-writing-alive-but-17k-later-wheres-the-book/

so shoddy

there's a bit more on this thread:

Best Music Writing 2012

this is the actual story:

http://noisey.vice.com/en_au/blog/what-ever-happened-to-the-best-music-writing-series

seriously does NO ONE know her irl? surely one of the many contacts of an established NYC-based editor/publisher does? is there NO crossover between the occupy crew she runs with now and people who want to know where the $17k went?

apparently not.

she's like where's waldo on facebook. she's everywhere. all kinds of occupy places. i feel bad about this. i like daphne.

Is it weird that I'm still at the point where I don't even care where my money went, i just want this to happen?

If she can't be bothered to say anything beyond "no comment" then I doubt there's much anyone else can do. maybe the threat of legal action would focus her mind.

its a little late for it to happen. how many publishers would want to retroactively put out a book that was timed to be released the way those books were.

i like daphne.

do you know her irl!

xpost

I figured. Hopefully anther publisher picks up the series at some point, but that's probably unlikely to happen either after all this.

*another

there are literally a billion better ways to defend your peer from accusations of fraud than "but she's cool and you have a shitty job", lol @ Whiney

i only see her at the EMP conferences. she's always so nice. she's really smart. sometimes things happen. i don't claim to understand.

x-post

curious what proportion of donors to the kickstarter were music writers or involved in the music journalism industry in some way

well this escalated slowly
http://noisey.vice.com/blog/update-best-music-writing-2012-has-officially-been-canceled

and yet faster than you realize

Best Music Writing 2012

that's multiple threads for you