ANNOUNCEMENT - CALL FOR PITCHES - MAX AND LAMP FILM PRODUCTION COMPANY LLC

attn: movie lovers

as per this thread: kind of pointless, mostly dreamy, entirely emo thread about being stuck at work @ 7:35 pm EST

ilc rookie of the year "lamp" and i are starting a film production company based in new york and los angeles

we are currently accepting ideas for our premiere movie--please post a 50-200 wd pitch to this thread for consideration. you should cast the movie with your dream actors--no guarantees we will be able to sign those actors

this is not a joke

a sleeper style sex comedy abt a lady sexologist who becomes erotically obsessed w/one of her test subjects. shes a well adjusted intelligent successful woman w/a great love life - hes a strangely attractive weirdo who helps her get in touch w/the icky dark catholic side of her sexuality - which of course she finds way hotter. this brings into question her whole worldview - so she turns to science to sort things out...

relevant reading: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?hp=&pagewanted=all

not sure abt the casting yet - id love spike jonze to direct tho

if i ever get to new york i will show you two the treatment for my awesome bong hit emo scifi movie. we got the final round of the sundance science funding competition a couple of weeks.

this is not a joke.

you guys can produce it if you can attach bubs from the wire for us.

a couple of weeks ago.

i really want to write my movie too - this is not a joke - tho it does contain many jokes

btw why dont u just post yr treatment here caek

you can write the script on spec

the first step is to spend many years reading screenwriting books and futzing around with Final Draft or Montage.

i will gladly show it you in person once i have cased you and checked you are not straight up mentally ill, but we have to keep it confidential while we are courting producers.

no one reads ilc itll be cool

haha, lj reads it and he cannot be trusted with his connections to britain's media elite

the art/design section contains these images though, which are pretty cool imo:

http://www.krjda.com/images/UnionCarbide_1.jpg

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/03/02/nyregion/02rlandmark-600.jpg

do you see it going in in your film jh0? this is important.

im so serious about this pitch ima googleproof it:

adaptation of henry gr33n's 'p4rty g01ng' starring some posh brit actors and more importantly imo actresses.

boom.

yah thatd be ideal - maybe just on the unrated dvd tho - rules and all u know xp

do you have the option nrq?

Love Sucks: A Story of a Boy and His Vacuum Cleaner

My tragic tale of love and death goes like this: Lester Jackson and his Dyson vacuum cleaner, of the houses of Jackson and Dyson, are sworn enemies. The opening scene finds Larry, Moe, and Curly (of the Dyson family), quarreling with Jarvik, Phil Collins, and Sting (of the Jackson family). This turns into a full-out brawl, which disturbs the citizens, and brings the prince in to yell at them. Later that night, Lester and Dyson meet at a party in the Dyson mansion, and instantly fall in love. Lester sings a song to Dyson and later that night they meet in the Dyson orchard, and plan to be married the next morning. Their union is made, but soon ruined, as Lester gets suggest banned, and is banished from Tombotia. After he leaves, Dyson learns she is to marry an Electrolux (as no one around them knew they were married). She is devestated, and her and the ILC crew form a plan. But, as in a classic tragedy, everything goes wrong, and they both end up killing themselves.

these are my sons Jarvik, Phil Collins, and Sting...

all pitches should end with your final sentence, xp

brings the prince in to yell at them

i assume here u meant the write "prince tombot"

u assume correctly

fyi i have actually no joke successfully produced several short films okay "successfully" is a stretch but the did get made and shown and secure ppl real actual jobs making SPIDERMAN films

so what i'm saying is keep these genious ideas coming...

o i think we can do better than spidermans come on folks

I was watching eraserhead commentaries and lynch said he really began the film by calling up vets and having them send him dead cats to experiment with

uh oh i'm having visions

more pitches!

someone should just do a movie version of baron in the trees or something

probably will make a shitload of money

hahahaha A+ thread :D

NRQ's pitch is one that he and I have actually discussed in person, when I brought up an extract from P4rty G01ng I'd been made to analyse, and he was all "amazing novel, I wanna make a film of it"! Trust me fellas, his ideas for it are excellent, although they DO involve Keira Knightley.

Also, Caek, NRQ has more connections to B's ME than I do :P and I am intrigued about your film. One day you must let me have a peek!

Btw, I am so serious about MY one ima googleproof it too:

A psychedelic, maybe even slightly rotoscoped modern adaptation of S1gmund Fr3ud's PLOT SYNOPSIS (not analysis) of J3ns3n's "Gr4div4". It's a tripped-out psychological love-story that could leave Eternal Sunshine in the dust if done right, all fucked-up mental psychogeography and deep-seated unconscious obsession. Bunuel's directing-style should have an influence, and there will be plenty of incidental "environment" shots. Most of the film will be set among the modern ruins of P0mpeii, so blistering Mediterranean sunshine and heat-warped senses will be portrayed through hyper-realisation of lighting effects.

Working title: Sno Globe
Targeted release: Late Spring 2010

Workout fanatic and single mom Liberty Chase (the girl from Transformers) manages a small gift boutique in Valencia. One morning while dropping her kid (blonde, a boy) off at a school a group of thugs attempts to kidnap her. Using her skills developed as an Olympic gymnast she escapes but they manage to snatch her kid. Meanwhile LAPD detective Frank Joe (someone tough) is inches away from nailing the case against druglord 'Bent' Martinez (latino dude from ice age). But 'Bent' has plans of his own, including putting whoever is importing coke in novelty sno globes "on ice".

What follows is a realtime threeway thriller in which Liberty races against time to rescue her son from the murky underworld and uncover some brutal truths about L.A., the company she works for and herself. The old man from Babe stars as Senator Thorton Kincaid III

do you have the option nrq?

― caek, Tuesday, February 3, 2009 5:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah right.

need some SEED MONEY from messrs max and lamp to get this mofo moving.

After watching Frost/Nixon, came up with the idea for:

Sports movie set in the world of pro darts, following the paths taken through a PDC-esque tournament taken by two players: one a brash, cocky, Front magazine kinda guy, porkpie hat, shoelaceless Converse, alt.porn girlfriend, Spungenite girlfriend. The other a broken down one time "nearly man" of the sport who just lost his day job on a production line after a Gran Torino-style meltdown at Polish/Kosovan/Iraqi (change depending on vilified minority group of the day) coworkers. The extended idea is that the tournament effectively represents a fight for the battle of the white British working class.

working title: "Dart Attack"

Arrow and Wealdstone

^^^britishes gag

Flight of Fantasy ("flights" are the correct name for the little sticky out bits on darts!)

Jolly Oche Sticks

Sports movie set in the world of pro darts, following the paths taken through a PDC-esque tournament taken by two players: one a brash, cocky, Front magazine kinda guy, porkpie hat, shoelaceless Converse, alt.porn girlfriend, Spungenite girlfriend. The other a broken down one time "nearly man" of the sport who just lost his day job on a production line after a Gran Torino-style meltdown at Polish/Kosovan/Iraqi (change depending on vilified minority group of the day) coworkers. The extended idea is that the tournament effectively represents a fight for the battle of the white British working class.

i like this, but why not set it in the music section of a broadsheet newspaper?

one a brash, cocky, Front magazine kinda guy, porkpie hat, shoelaceless Converse, alt.porn girlfriend, Spungenite girlfriend

mike skinner in his film debut

The other a broken down one time "nearly man" of the sport who just lost his day job on a production line after a Gran Torino-style meltdown at Polish/Kosovan/Iraqi (change depending on vilified minority group of the day) coworkers

ray winstone gunning for an oscar

If the film had been made 40 years earlier, Peter Vaughan would be a lock for the latter role. Maybe he could play his father?

maybe one of you can work up an idea i've got about a young woman who works as a tv psychic who discovers she actually IS psychic maybe right after her longtime bf breaks up with her? i'm thinking it's a slightly bawdy but heartfelt and smart comedy

of-our-time harrowing many POV drama following separate-yet-linked psycho killing sprees worldwide due to the making public of an internet secret message board. directing style: that one movie with salma hayek, or maybe 24. starring the kid from star wars internet clip, jeff goldblum as some school counsellor, and cameo appearance from HOOS as a hotel worker that just can't take it anymore(possibly channelling michael douglas in 'falling down', but would welcome any input the actor could bring into the role).

Working Title: Untitled [Is there a semi-classic Motown song about being psychic that we could use here? **Assign intern to research]
Release Date: Valentine's Day 2010

Anne Stanley (Amy Adams) has spent most of her life telling people what they want to hear. As Chicago's most popular TV psychic, she's gained popularity by predicting good fortune and cheer to her thousands for viewers. But when one of her predictions results in the death of a retired fireman (too heavy? needs to be focus grouped), the city turns against her and she loses her job, her boyfriend Charles (Josh Lucas), and her apartment all in one night. Wandering the chilly Chicago streets well after midnight, she's struck by lightning, and, upon waking, discovers that she actually can see the future--with hilarious results! But even as she profits (in more ways than one, wink wink) from her newfound powers, she foresees a terrible disaster--a mega-tornado coming to wreak havoc over the city! There's just one problem: no one believes her--except for the sexy fireman grandson (Grey's Anatomy's "McSteamy") of the man she inadvertently killed! The odd-couple pair must race against time--and against their growing attraction to one another--to save Chicago! The movie ends with Anne losing her psychic powers, and maybe being pregnant.

notes: needs cameo by miss cleo as one of anne stanleys sucker clients - a post credits scene hinting that her baby is psychic

obv. discovering-powers scene is followed by upbeat montage of her using her powers, with sexy/fun results

Suggested soundtrack for montage: "Magical Mystery Tour" covered by (research available powerpop acts, are Click Five still going?)

The movie is set in Los Angeles, a city with a cultural mix of every nationality. The story begins when several people are involved in a multi-car accident. From that point, we are taken back to the day before the crash, seeing the lives of several characters, and the problems each encounters during that day. An LAPD cop is trying to get medical help for his father, but he is having problems with a black HMO clerk who won't give his father permission to see another doctor. He in turn takes out his frustration on a black couple during a traffic stop. A socialite and District Attorney are carjacked at gunpoint by two black teenagers. She takes out her anger on a Mexican locksmith who is changing the door locks to their home. Later that night, the locksmith is again robbed of his dignity by a Persian store-owner. Many of the characters switch from being bad-person-to-hero in ways that may surprise you.

hey kevin? thanks for your "contribution" but maybe you missed this part of the original post:

this is not a joke

But when one of her predictions results in the death of a retired fireman (too heavy? needs to be focus grouped), the city turns against her and she loses her job

suggested alternate career for the dead fireman: dead beloved weatherman? it would also add to the fun with the killer tornado, etc etc

hopefully we can get some big name actors on this project. maybe if none likes the script we can get an action star and a rapper to play 'serious' roles

xxp lol sry :/

Death of local "groundhog" style weather predicting animal?

why not death of weatherman AND groundhog--perfect since movie is set in february... maybe we bump release date up to groundhog's day?

hay max yr a mod now maybe kevin needs a yellow card - just sayin - ill leave that up to u

i like that - preemptive mrkting really get the jump on some of the other vday rom coms - also i think we could work in a couple of scenes with her friends idk who's hot but i was thinking maybe asian. and i like the idea of her mom being played by holly hunter, earthy but straight-shooting and it gives the audience a positive perspective on our heroine even when everyone else is against her

maybe--mom is dead? but we get flashback scenes of her mom giving her advice--or holly hunter voiceovers--moms advice?

i like hot minority friend, but lets make it maya rudolph, i cant think of any asian actresses, sandra oh too old, for examaple

also lets get some local chi-town personalities to cameo--then really do a big chicago mkting push

maybe--mom is dead? but we get flashback scenes of her mom giving her advice--or holly hunter voiceovers--moms advice?

― max, Wednesday, February 4, 2009 10:39 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

infer that mom was psychic

q: sexy fireman too obvious? what about--sexy journalist? sexy photographer?

if we can't get mcdreamy on board mcconaughey could do a job, i feel.

narciss1st1c sc/3nt1st c1one5 se1f, b3c0m3s hi5 0wn w1f3

smells like an rdj vehicle to me morbs

i feel like morbs can help the direction of this thread--glad he's here

how about sexy weather related photog--still could be matt mcc

sexy storm chaser?

^^ i like this b/c its like--he believes her b/c hes a tornado expert--but hates her because she killed his grandfather--but then they fall in love

ooooooooooooooooooooooooh yes yes yes--love it

or not his grandfather--maybe his mentor?!

beloved weatherman Dale Rooney?

this might seem like a joke but bear with me because it is serious:

two guys on the internet start a "joke" film production company and are flooded with pitches. however, when they receive a brilliant pitch they actually decide to put the movie into production, launching them into a satirical view of today's hollywood. the brilliant pitch is that they make a movie about two guys on the internet who start a joke film production company and then decide to actually make one of their pitches into a movie, launching them into a satirical view of today's hollywood. you can get various internet "celebrities" to play themselves to appeal to the dorks, and also dip into the "get shorty"/"the player" world of getting celebrities to play self-mocking exaggerated versions of themselves (celebrities love doing this) - like you could get christian bale to freak out and yell at somebody and then wink at the camera.
the movie is called "meta" or, if you want to get edgy, "clusterf*ck."

starring seth rogan and michael cera

"charlie kaufman meets kevin smith" is how id pitch that, good work n/a

remake of Jeanne Dielman, only it's a male record store clerk in Cambridge MA

directed by guy maddin right dr maobius??

hahahaha n/a + max

would watch n/a movie.

ww 09

xxxp: no Lamp, wrong rhythm for Guy; get a mumblecore guy

everything abt n/as pitch offends my personal filmic sensibilities - its pretty much a collection of things i hate in movies - max even evoked kevin smith - but stepping back from my own critical pov i can see that it basically needs to be made - its the mix of formulaic hollywood shit w/cutting edge formulaic internet jokes that makes it - the solipsistic funhouse aspect plays well w/the whole deal too imo

the solipsistic funhouse aspect plays well w/the whole deal too imo

this makes me think david o. russell should be involved. i support this project 100%

no stars, or i won't see it

i could see it being called the 1st movie that "really 'gets' the internet" while the hardcore scoffs - in retrospect the hardcore grudgingly grants approval

bombs at b.o. but scores in home video market--big in france, too

cult classic not best seller

straight to dvd sequels w/none of the original cast/crew

who should cameo?

- c. bale
- screech

Guy that played Uncle Phil

still fightin for HOOS cameo, tbh

main characters have to go to hospital for some reason, go in wrong room, steve jobs is in bed. he takes the oxygen mask off his face and says "you didn't see anything," winks at camera. armed guards usher main characters into hallway, they look at each other and shrug

this is sounding more and more like 'Youtube Movie' a la 'Epic Movie' etc., tbh.

but the first pitch is sound.

a party scene featuring every celebrity who ever released a sex tape - their connection goes completely unacknowledged

they go to a studio and see kevin smith making 'jay and silent bob strike back 2', with kevin biggs and james van der beek reluctantly reprising their roles, and smith counting his money.

who is kevin biggs? idk.

have to have the thing with the young clean celebrity (zac ephron?) shedding his goody-goody image by swearing a lot, doing drugs, hanging out with strippers. this is dumb but unfortunately it is required in these kinds of movies

truth.

will smith's son xxp

Needs to be "past it" clean celebrity though, preferably now in their 20s. Are the girls from Sister Sister available?

sorry i just want to make it clear--as great as this movie sounds, max & lamp fpc LLC is going to have to pass, sorry

lool

smoky nostalgia pic about the glory days of the public relations industry mad men meets goodnight and good luck with aaron eckhart as winthrope louis and nick stahl as leo brunmuiller.

if only marcello mastroianni was still alive

winthrope louis

lol is this a trading places ref

looooove that film

haha yeah. "brunmuiller" is a reference to a pr agency fyi

xpost

90s THROWBACK CRIME CAPER (originally thought of by gbx, age 13, after seeing Pulp Fiction...also his mom came up w/some crucial plot points...being pitched for historical interest more than anything, it is actually a shitty movie)

guys rob a bank and accidentally shoot a FedEx guy that they mistake for a security guard. they make a quick getaway, squabbling (<---hilarious dialogue!), and in their haste/distraction, nearly hit an old lady crossing the street. they swerve and crash the getaway car. nearby is an ambulance, which they hijack. TURNS OUT that inside the ambulance is a seriously injured young man and what appears to be his girlfriend. as the plot unfolds, we learn:
* the robbers are father and son
* the girlfriend is IN FACT a prostitute
* the young man is IN FACT a priest
* the priest was in the ambulance because the prostitute's pimp beat him up when he tried to prevent the pimp from beating the prostitute
* the pimp was beating the prostitute because she had refused to sleep with the priest and had turned up empty-handed
* the prostitute had refused to sleep with the priest because she was in his congregation and neither of them realized this until it was time to do the deed (wigs, etc?)
* (the prostitute was a model parishioner, singing in the choir and working bake sales and the like)
* the priest was getting a prostitute because he had had some worrying "feelings" about the older choir boys lately and wanted to confirm to himself and to God that he was a red-blooded man
* SOOOOO....it also TURNS OUT that the father of the father/son robber duo had been molested by a priest, and HATES priests. this creates tension, as does his lewd treatment of the prostitute
* the son of the father/son robber duo is gay but hasn't told his father. there is sexual tension between him and the priest. this may create problems later.
* I think there was like a paramedic or something that I'm forgetting?

Anyway. The robbers hold everyone hostage and go on the lam. At one point, they switch from the ambulance to a church van, procured by prostitute, acting under teh guise of dutiful parishioner (<--- hilarious dialogue). They are pursued by the pimp, the law, and the FedEx guy's brother/best friend/whatever, who is deranged. Never really fleshed it out too much further than that, except that it probably ends in the wilderness somewhere, with a few people dying, and the son and the priest hooking up, the prostitute and either a cop or the FedEx-revenger hooking up, and some other stuff.

NB -- i only really came up with "who's in the ambulance??" thing. my mom did most of the legwork on the crazy gay/catholic/molestation stuff.

she is from ireland, btw

I think the only casting decision made at the time was that Rosie Perez would be the prostitute w/a heart of gold

also:

re-telling of Sealand's history but with cheap, tiny models/sets and the entire cast played by local 3rd graders. real gondry vibe to this one

as seen on the peyton manning thread: point break but with bike messengers, set on the mean streets of chicago. neither funny nor cutting edge, but likely to make some cash if it can carve out a cheesy cult classic status a la quicksilver or say aspen extreme

the name of this awesome movie is

(wigs, etc?)

uhoh i killed it

the young clean celebrity (zac ephron?) shedding his goody-goody image by swearing a lot, doing drugs

working title (stolen from CC Roast of Bob Saget): The Boy Who Cried Cunt

btw this whole thread is testimony to why even among delightful, smart young ppl, cinema apprec is dead.

Dr. Crusty

Aged snarky movie reviewer, forced to watch a remake of Gone With The Wind starring James VanDerBeek and Leighton Meeser, falls in love with a cute young popcorn jock who doesn't know Bergmann from Bay. Hilarity ensues as the couple falls in love and tries to merge their DVD collection. . .

But, as in a classic tragedy, everything goes wrong, and they both end up killing themselves.

VanDerGeek is 'aged' eh -- at least youve got yr target demo.

also guess what Dr. M. i can like arty movies and appreciate them and i can also appreciate cheesy shit too, don't fence me in.

i watched blindness last night which contained many of the terrible qualities of both!

i would watch dr. crusty fo sho

There's no time for "cheesy shit" -- "guilty pleasures" are an oxy-mo-ron

Action
GAMES OF GLORY

The Chinese discovered a new communication system that will create a lot of jobs and trouble in alliance with Russia.The Russians find a better way to use that new system and decided to steal the project and trying to blame the USA along the way.Unfortunately for them ,at the present time USA intelligence services counts with the help of the very best agent they ever had,extremely intelligent,that finds out what the Russians are up to...So she make her own plans to steal the project without involving any American services,to do so she recruits some mercenaries,among them is her older sister that she believes is dead ,even though she never was to sure about it.According to her own words told to some "colleague" of her:"I wish that she made up her mind and decide to live or remain dead,I am getting tire to come to her funerals every now and then..."The mission is fulfil according to her plans and the Russians got the blame for it,and have some trouble to keep the relationship with Chine in good terms....

great ideas corujuca! who do you foresee playing the agent??

i apologize for not writting the actors, here they go,
Katee Sackhoff, lead
Liv Tyler her older sister
The rest are supporting actors and actresses,so it could be anyone with some exparience in acting.

guys i just had my first badass standing around arguing on speakerphone fight with a producer. it was awesome. i think i won. 20%? fuck you, buddy. 35%. i will let you know how it turns out.

nice one!

im willing to go 25% tops

final deal: 30% + £1500. let's hug it out. </braggin in 09>

niiiiiiice

just so u know me and lamp are big hardasses, we dont give a lot but we will get u an oscar no bullshittin

documentary about diddy tweeting

if you can find someone who'll act like a strong lawyer i've got an idea

weekenders
spring 2011

a series of sketches limning the lives of the professional class at the turn of the 21st century, centering around archer park (iddo goldberg) and reade mason (ryan mcpartlin) and a party being held at archer's parents house on the outskirts of new canaan, ct. the narrative unfolds to the pattern of joyce's series of stories "dubliners" with the last few scences echoing the dead as mason and his girlfriend (january jones) prepare to leave for the party

^^^ proof that me n max can deliver u oscars

lol triple-posting but: congrats caek!!!!

thanks guys, i will put some of this money into MALFPCLLC

Thinking of throwing this over to Apatow but I'll give you guys the first pich. Weekend at Bernie's remake. Seth Rogan and Jason Schwartzman in for McCarthy and Silverman as Larry and Richard. Elizabeth Banks as the love interest, cameo by Will Ferrell as obnoxious drunken party guest, and William H. Macy as Bernie.

we need to shoot a serialized remake of taxi driver starring ramz - distributed via tweets of course

― ice cr?m, Thursday, April 23, 2009 12:27 PM (14 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

loooool was cummin here to post:

"tweeter"
winter 2011

special agent cassiopeia dark hasnt felt the same since her partner and lover case millner was killed by the deranged psychopath who had been stalking her. shes drinking in the daytime and on extended leave from her job at the fbi. so when someone sets up a twitter account in case's name her friends and co-workers advise her to forget about it, move on, focus on getting herself back together rather than some teenager's bad joke. but the tweets keep getting more and more personal, more disturbing and cassiopeia has to hunt down her demons 140 characters at a time.

i can see that with maybe elisha cuthbert as cassiopeia dark?

totally

self-aware catchphrase: "the tweets are coming from inside the house!"

also obv needs an expository scene where the hip IT person/love interest (shia leboeuf) explains twitter to her/the audience

this may seem like a hackneyed or limited mindspace but i want explore the backstage dynamic at a kids tv show

seems ripe

do a treatment and well take a look at it

ya tbh i have long since forgiven most of my tormentors, i mean i never got my fingers broken but i eventually had sex and got invited to parties and stuff so i guess it all evened out

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, July 17, 2009 11:45 AM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thank u to s1ocki for making the connection. maybe show this to linklater?

"black friday" - shoppers who show up at a midnight sale on black friday are terrorized by a serial killer who locks them in and dispatches with them one by one. gruesome death modes: bled to death from paper cuts made with cut-out coupons, crushed to death between shopping carts, etc. their only chance is a disgraced marine who only came to the sale to get his daughter the perfect xmas present, now he'll have to fight his way out if he wants to see her again.

see, i can actually see that one being made

haha thats really a pretty good movie idea imo

only if marine gets played by steve buscemi imo

shock reveal at end of movie = serial killer is sinbad reprising role from jingle all the way

Working Title: Turtles, Turtles Everywhere!
Release Date: June 26, 2011

Sally May Jenkins (Jane Fonda) and Billy Joe Jenkins (Beau Bridges) are quirky Louisiana turtle farmers (and part-time grandparents!) who love only one thing more than spending time with their eccentric farm family in a colorful Cajun setting: raising and caring for thousands of turtles! But when their funky swamp life is threatened by evil Yankee developer Troy Burnheart (Bradley Cooper), can the Jenkins clan manage to rally the community to save the turtle farm, or will Burnheart and his cronies succeed in draining the swamp to build a shopping mall?

http://i.imgur.com/tPLC9.jpg

let's start casting now, i want to package this up in time for berlin

must be told from the perspective of the dog

not with v/o or anything but by only shooting what is immediately visible to the dog. then he trips balls and dies ;_;

http://i47.tinypic.com/2dmh5pw.jpg

and youll never believe what happens next...

I want to make an avatar movie except everybody is green instead of blue and at the end you find out that pandora...was actually earth all along

we are currently accepting ideas for our premiere movie--please post a 50-200 wd pitch to this thread for consideration. you should cast the movie with your dream actors--no guarantees we will be able to sign those actors

pandora...was actually earth a burrito all along

after the revelation there will be a 15 minute long coda where a digitally resurrected jimmy stewart dresses the the earth up in different eco-costumes, getting closer and closer to the truth until the earth's conscience gets the better of her xxp

pandora...was actually earth a burrito all along

― ice cr?m, Tuesday, February 2, 2010 2:48 PM (29 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

exec producer credit right here.

unobtainium = guacamole

fuckin hell you would have them FLOCKING to the IMAX to see a burrito in 3D

3D!!

it will change cinema 4EVER

four-word pitch:

MICHAEL
SNOW
WAVELENGTH
3D

a time-travel thriller about evolved dinosaurs that disguise themselves as dog catchers

but instead of dogs they catch people

and force them to compete against each other in a secret arena on the moon.

love it

cast it for me

well get renny harlin to do it as his comeback

sam jackson as nick fury

JAGGER DOES AMERICA

this would sort of be like a 'no reservations' style weekly tv series chronicling l0u1s jagg3r's first tour of america -- he would do 'things' and go to 'places' but the crux of the show & the hook that would keep viewers coming back would be his own writing & narration in classic jaggerian prose -- also there would be cooking interludes, like we would find him a kitchen and he would do like two or three quick dishes, recipes posted on our website

love it

needs a sidekick

that wd be me

awes

aw nakh I thought you was gonna volunteer

pledge £10 to an ilx0r paypal fund for plane tix + digicam

as godard said, all you need to make a film is a girl and a gun a max and a jag

ignore this buffoon, I smoke a pipe and possess my own Super 8 camera

no sidekick for lj

:(

btw nakh when are you and I gonna bro down over a tumbler of something lethal and a grand sporting occasion

hmmnph if i ever get freebies to a cricket match again i'll let u know but i imagine the irlj experience is probably too intense for delicate souls like yrs truly

haha

am generally pretty low-maintenance + coyly affable IRL and not terrifying (ppl are free to dispute this btw) - think on it dude, you seem A+ sound

i feel like coy is a thing you cannot call yourself. like, other people can observe that you're coy but if you call yourself coy it makes me wonder.

not coy--"coyly affable"

"affable, in a coy manner"

i thought about that and i am not sure what it means frankly, but still

it was a sort of deliberate oxymoron? idk. you're right.

LJ: COYLY AFFABLE S01E01 script

LJ sits crosslegged in front of the fly-ridden corpse of a coyote, clutching antique winchester rifle and staring unblinkingly into the camera for some 10 seconds w/ blood stripes under his eyes

INTERTITLE; THE IMPOSSIBILITY OF DEATH IN THE MIND OF SOMEONE LIVING

LJ: THIS is my story, and all thee who bear witness to it shall know my glory, for terra incognito is but an enticement to my kind [etc]

:D x1000000

inspired by reading this piece goole linked on the Giffords shooting thread: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/print/2011/01/is-jared-loughner-a-white-house-case/69348/

"White House Case" is the term of art used by psychiatrists since the at least the 1960s to describe a distinct subset of the mentally ill who become psychotically preoccupied with the inhabitants of the White House or other government offices.

The White House Case (dark comedy)

Over the years, the psych ward at St. Elizabeth's Hospital's in Washington DC has collected a rag-tag bunch of patients, all committed for exhibiting a peculiar (though not violent) obsession with various US presidents. A group of 5 such patients have over the years formed a close fraternal bond while spending their years in the ward together, each having been committed for their unhealthy obsession with a different late-20th century US president.

One night, they catch wind that some staff at St. Elizabeth's are actually being using their employment as a cover for their membership in a clandestine rogue terrorist group planning on assassinating the current US president. As the only people in the world capable of stopping this plot, they must band together to break out of St. Elizabeth's, warn the authorities of this plot, convince anyone they can that they're not crazy, and save the president's life.

I see this being Eddie Murphy's "comeback" performance as the Regan-obsessed patient.

love it

lets start preproduction next month

coen bros, i'm hearing coen bros?

Sweet pitch

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/comment_ty.gif

Sean Penn movie about the guy who wanted to crash his plane into Nixon died a quick death

screenplay writes itself:

According to Ike Hoover, the White House valet for more than forty years, Coolidge was the meanest of the presidents, taken to playing cruel practical jokes on the Secret Service and domestic help.

― My mom is all about capital gains tax butthurtedness (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 22:16 (19 minutes ago) Permalink

In a bold move, I'm seeing Rob Corddry as Coolidge- thoughts?

not to make all my pitches about the white house or anything

love it

after a night of drunken revelry & just-the-guys trash talking mason bennett (ryan reynolds) beats his childhood buddy tom gruterberg (jay broach) $100,000 that he could never sleep with the famously unlucky in love actress kella heart (isla fisher). determined to prove himself and win the money he needs to start his waterrafting magazine from the wealthy mason tom takes the challenge and begins to woo kella, who is town filming a movie. can tom manage to win the girl's heart? and will mason pay up if he does? find out next february in one in a million

just once i should try rereading my posts before i hit 'submit post' huh

love it.

can we get eric roberts in a "washed up old guy who still drops some sage advice" role?

In 1939 the British entomologist Dr. T. T. Macan (Rip Torn) took seven pages of a scientific journal to describe the migration of aquatic insects which colonized a reflecting pool around a new ornamental fountain. When a plucky, and rare, white sparrow named Huckleberry (David Spade) arrives a year later to discover Macan's research has taken a dangerous turn that could have huge consequences for the entire garden, Huck's only hope is to try and alert the scientific community with the help from some familiar friends, a Beaver, Skunk and Bear (all played by Eddie Murphy). Find out in 2012 if the grass stays greener on The other side in White Paper

there should be a sci-fi movie about time gypsies aka time travelers who venture back and forth through time conning people

― omar little, Thursday, January 19, 2012 11:22 AM (1 week ago

bio-pic with the Wilson brothers playing the Wilson brothers:

http://i.imgur.com/U1nyn.jpg

PTA could really nail the so-cal vibes that would be necessary for this project

i dont know what the pitch is, but i do know the tagline is 'based on a true reddit post'

Movie about a freed slave bounty hunter that doesn't have ilx cry into its collective blankie

a romcom abt a guy running 'the game' and a girl using 'the rules' against each other

i love it.

charlie sheen cameo is a must.

dystopian futurescape, voiceover 'i never knew my parents, they died in the singularity, i just have this one video' video projected on wall is of a lady talking at sxsw, its mom, fn blogger asks question, its dad

The tale of the world's first Bitcoin billionaire.

its Hackers meets Wall Street for gen Y

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G1cxdHhvmu4/T6Sj7fRNa3I/AAAAAAAAADk/xmT8bODtGMA/s1600/Green+Light.png

i dont know what the pitch is, but i do know the tagline is 'based on a true reddit post'

― kill yuppies (Lamp), Wednesday, February 20, 2013 7:13 PM (1 month ago)

bump.

guys we really should have been on this first:

http://i.imgur.com/bJkITn8.jpg

wow i loved space jam

NSFW: http://gawker.com/the-chris-christie-gangbang-sex-tape-that-wasnt-nsfw-1543352886

During the course of this research, he read somewhere that some mob families would occasionally initiate new members by forcing them to engage in acts of group sex (generally multiple male partners on one woman), and filming them. The idea, I guess, is a "team building" exercise that could also serve as a convenient blackmail tool if the need for leverage were to arise.

working title: "Just one of the Gang"

three schlubby would-be mob underlings and best friends in 1980's new jersey find themselves forced to have sex on camera with the same woman to show allegiance to a powerful mob family. but what happens when we discover one of them is a virgin and another falls in love with her? will stage fright get them before The Family does? find out in this raucous campy sex comedy.

i'm thinking alexandra daddario in the female lead and we're in talks with jody hill to direct

http://i.imgur.com/DG8jzYa.jpg

jimmy fallon and adam sandler make cameos as capos (in fat suits, obv)

Kickstarter for a movie in which Ben Savage runs a Kickstarter promising a 'Boy Meets World' movie but runs off with the cash

― ILX preorders SPYRO for Playstation (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, September 25, 2014 5:50 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

michael j fox goes back in time to 1940 to kill hitler. while fleeing from hitler youth bullies, fox accidentally runs over his grandfather joachim von ribbentrop on his bike. ribbentrop is hospitalized and, in his absence, his lookalike grandson is mistaken for him and finds himself in a negotiation with a molotov-led soviet delegation. fox and molotov hit it off over their mutual love of baseball and, before he realizes what he has done, fox has brought the soviet union into the axis. fox looks at a photo of a bagel in his wallet and realizes it is gradually disappearing. time is running out for fox to convince hitler to launch operation barbarossa.

i had a terrible romantic comedy idea last night.

Two lovers register to be organ donors. Tragically they both die at a young age. Their eyes (or corneas, at least, although if this took place in the near future maybe it would be the entire eye) are transplanted into two other people, strangers, who of course run into each other on the street, look into each others' eyes, and fall in love at first sight. BUT, they really don't get along with each other and soon break up. but soon after, one of them is trapped in a fire and the other one happens to be there and saves their life. they get back together and this time have a child. but the old personality conflicts return as the realities of a dead-end job and extended postpartum depression set in. they go through marriage counseling, and it turns out the counselor was the former doorman for the apartment where the original eye donors briefly lived. he recognizes their eyes, but he can't say anything because it turns out that he was secretly in love with one of the donators. and looking at those corneas again, all these years later, he realizes he's still in love with her. he can never bring himself to say anything about it, but he does successfully sabotage their marriage. later they run into each other at a bar and he tries to see if there's a spark there between them, but there really isn't much there. he's very drunk, and ends up telling her that he sabotaged their marriage, not through anything that he said per se, but definitely by not saying what he should have said in his marriage counselor role. the eye donation receivers once again get back together, but this time they begin fighting from the first instant they reunite. they fight and fight, but by this time they're pretty old and there's little chance of finding anyone else out there and they'd rather not be alone, so they just stay together and talk about their eyeballs.

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, March 2, 2016 4:41 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ah god that's amazing

lol

damn from a doorman to a marriage counselor, good for him

eternal sunshine of the spotless retina

someone give me $300 and i'll make it. making a film can't be that hard, you just grab a camera and point a light at people, let them talk, do a little editing, close up of an eyeball, there's nothing to it

L.A. Jetee

splicing up eyeballs

im working on film script abt corporate espionage in the pharmaceutical industry

i like yr idea though z_s

hows the script coming Lamp