^ the new "player of the year, now he's a dick", tbh
― ailsa, Friday, 24 September 2010 13:53 (thirteen years ago) link
wow i've watched that video about five times wondering why it's funny. don't even hear that word any more.
― caek, Friday, 24 September 2010 13:57 (thirteen years ago) link
took an aerial pass on the chest, touch of the knee over challenge, full right foot volley into bottom left from ten or so yards.
Only work five a side, but i'm havin that tbh.
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Saturday, 25 September 2010 21:43 (thirteen years ago) link
played a 4-a-side game against some regulars while visiting my friend in Oxford, on a proper astro pitch
my team won 14-3 and I hit 5, one of which was a peachy peach into the far top corner, fabio grosso versus germany style
now I am ready for tomorrow's 11-a-side game in which ken c and I are both playing
ken c's goal last time out was a thing of wonder - not seen an ILXor dive in to achieve something so heartily since ethan got himself banned
also I am obliged to state that that goal was only possible because I bombed 60 metres down the wing first
― acoleuthic, Saturday, 25 September 2010 23:43 (thirteen years ago) link
take it to the assist thread you astonishing glory hunter
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Saturday, 25 September 2010 23:45 (thirteen years ago) link
Just me and my brother playing on a full-size school pitch. He was in goal and I was like 25 yards out on the right wing, at a very acute angle, and I toe-poked a powerful curling chip over his head that pinged off the crossbar and bounced down behind the line. If anyone else was there, their minds would have been blown. My brother kind of didn't see it (it was that good)
― Edgware Wolf in London (admrl), Saturday, 25 September 2010 23:47 (thirteen years ago) link
i've asked mr clattenberg and it was not in fact over the line play on
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Saturday, 25 September 2010 23:51 (thirteen years ago) link
Who was it against? 2 years ago on an astroturf pitch in mungret with some matesWhich part of your anatomy did it bobble off? turned my man and was one on one with keeper then blasted it with my big toe. went right into the corner.How did you celebrate? punched the air with my fist. didnt do too much celebrating as it was the end of the game and i was absolutely knackered to do anything more than that
― Michael B, Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:00 (thirteen years ago) link
...mungret?? where IS that
― Edgware Wolf in London (admrl), Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:01 (thirteen years ago) link
county limerick, ireland
― Michael B, Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:03 (thirteen years ago) link
st mungret's is a school somewhere iirc
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:05 (thirteen years ago) link
you're thinking of st. munchins
― Michael B, Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:08 (thirteen years ago) link
dem u for a liar sir i meant no such thing i tell u.
May have been thinkin of st muredach, which they steadfastly refuse to pronounce as in the a-team member
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:12 (thirteen years ago) link
ireland is v v mysterious to me
― Edgware Wolf in London (admrl), Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:17 (thirteen years ago) link
are there craic hoers?
St. Munchkins
"HOW MANY POINTS DID YOU GET IN THE LEAAAVIN'?"http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/wizard-of-oz-munchkins.jpg
― Michael B, Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:18 (thirteen years ago) link
jays theres craic til 90 but i only know sheep or cattle farmers meself, boys that wouldnt know one end of a hoe from tother
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:21 (thirteen years ago) link
but solid lads, the besht of men.
One of them, up in court lately on charges of animal cruelty for feeding a stray turtle full of poitin could only offer the following excuse-
"he looked shook, yronner. He looked pure shook"
The besht of men tho. The finesht.
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:24 (thirteen years ago) link
same man's neighbour took the corpse of his auld fella home on the ferry in the front of a ford escort, cos it was chaper than flyin him dead.
But jesus the finesht of men so they are.
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:26 (thirteen years ago) link
Last goal I can remember
Work jumpers-for-goalposts game, Green Park, I think summer 2006 because I was wearing that year's world cup strip (Owen 10 - I've got a thing for the number but how I regret not getting the Beckham one). Hard-fought 0-0, melée in box, ball breaks to me around the penalty-spot and I welt it home over the keeper's shoulder. Automatic celebration: couple of steps run, little jump & fist pump. I may have said 'Yes'.
Thought it would be the first of many, but we lost shape and lost 4 or 5-1. Once you've scored in front of the Queen that doesn't seem to matter though.
(game actually most memorable for giving another boy a yard's start and beating him to a loose ball. I am v slow. It's honestly the only time I can remember that happening - in fact I remember being astonished as the chase was going on, it was so unprecedented)
Goals lost in mists of time
I've since stepped in to my dad's regular fives game as a ringer. I play like Teddy Sheringham in a sculpture garden. Many goals were dispatched, none memorable.
Actual last goal
Took the ball up to the common by my in-laws a couple of weeks ago. Had the place to myself as I seem to be THE ONLY PERSON IN THE COUNTRY who does this anymore. Trekked up & down the pitch for a while trying to score enough of a peach that I could call it a day - in the jack jones scenario it kind of needs to be an in-off-bar-or-post or it looks a bit rubbish.
Eventually ran onto own through ball maybe 25 yards out. Hit across body, setting it out beyond the far post and bringing it in just inside. Was an uncharacteristically sweet hit, enhanced by fact that I was still running full-pelt on a totally different trajectory, which change of angle made the swerve look like Nelinho.
Did I celebrate? Like I say, I was on my own so that'd be unbearably sad. I may have done a bit.
― Ismael Klata, Sunday, 26 September 2010 06:59 (thirteen years ago) link
http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/9147/realfootball.jpg
I forgot that I have evidence of the last time I kicked a ball in anger - this is in the nets at Croke Park a couple of weeks back. The 'goal' is actually three holes in the far wall which are approximately ball-sized and ball-shaped, so I doubt any goal has ever been scored in that particular exhibit. The big target is in the hurling net next door, which I did manage to hit at least once.
You will note from the ripple in the net that this was not one of my closer efforts, though the effect is quite pleasing.
― Ismael Klata, Sunday, 26 September 2010 07:44 (thirteen years ago) link
last time we had a lunchtime kickaround at work, prob 18 mths ago, i SCORED FROM HAFLWAY IT WAS FUKKN EPIC YESSSSSS
― astronomy broheems (haitch), Sunday, 26 September 2010 09:31 (thirteen years ago) link
Last week, playing 5vs5 futsal. Ball just landed in front of me after opponent countered a teammate's shot, didn't think and just kicked it. Went in the top left corner after hitting both the crossbar and the post. Quite happy with myself but no celebration, since we play every week for 1h30mn or so, which means at least 30 goals every week, so celebrating for each would be kind of silly!
― Jibe, Sunday, 26 September 2010 13:25 (thirteen years ago) link
^ yeah celebrations only for the exceptional.
tho before my competent no-fuss goal detailed above i did score a zola through-my-own-legs flick on the volley from a peach cross that drew a few high fives, tbf. it was a good week, not what you'd call representative.
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Sunday, 26 September 2010 15:59 (thirteen years ago) link
hit the post from 3 yards out yesterday :(
then should have scored one ball flew in around waist height, obv best way to score is to neither scoop down and head it or stick a foot out, but to try and *chest* the ball into the goal. on target but um keeper saved it, strangely.
― HOOS' THE BOSS (ken c), Monday, 27 September 2010 16:39 (thirteen years ago) link
i'm a dick
― HOOS' THE BOSS (ken c), Monday, 27 September 2010 16:40 (thirteen years ago) link
Do we need an "I MISSED A GOAL FFS" thread?
― Upt0eleven, Monday, 27 September 2010 16:41 (thirteen years ago) link
then they scored from the keeper's launch out
3 yards is generous btw, it was more like 1
― acoleuthic, Monday, 27 September 2010 16:41 (thirteen years ago) link
Well Arshavin hit the post twice in two seconds on Saturday in what sounds like similar circumstances, so I'm inclined to give Ken the benefit of the doubt here
― Ismael Klata, Monday, 27 September 2010 17:40 (thirteen years ago) link
About five years ago I showed up in Regents Park for an ILX football thang. There were about 7 or 8 of us and we ended up on a full-size pitch with proper goals taking on 7 or 8 other random people (until the real Sunday leaguers turned up and turfed us off). I'd kind of nominated myself as striker and I clearly remember being in the centre circle, maybe for kick-off or more likely to re-start after we'd conceded. I took one look at the goal: it didn't look that far away. The keeper didn't look all that. I fancied my chances. "Just pass it to me, I'm going have a go" I said to the guy next to me. He nudged it across and I thumped it towards the top left corner. The ball bounced five or six times before slowly rolling off the pitch about five yards wide of the goal.
― Running the Gantelope (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 27 September 2010 21:59 (thirteen years ago) link
crushing!
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Monday, 27 September 2010 22:02 (thirteen years ago) link
straight out of car after four hours driving to five a side today, so i was rubbish. scored a few, the highlight being a neat touch on the run from a thirty yard crossfield pass that was swept imperiously into the far corner. but aside form that it was comedy stuff from dmac i'm afraid
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Monday, 27 September 2010 22:04 (thirteen years ago) link
i remember this game!
― HOOS' THE BOSS (ken c), Monday, 27 September 2010 22:08 (thirteen years ago) link
friend's stag do in the middle of ireland about a month ago, playing 5-a-side on the saturday with a pretty bad hangover.
first game of four (we had a mini tournament) i get the ball early, round the groom, and (1 in 100 chance this) blast in from close to the halfway line, celebrate wildly.
in the same session of games we were about to win and with 20 seconds left (complete with countdown) we're playing keep ball, i attempt what appears to be a simple turn as a friend flails towards me, he reads it, nicks the ball, and scores, drawing the match and meaning we lose.
couldn't apologise enough.
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 15:33 (thirteen years ago) link
there's nothing worse, especially if you're playing with people that take their 5 a side VERY SERIOUSLY
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:04 (thirteen years ago) link
the guys weren't too bad, and i did make a point blank double save in same game, but yeah i fucking hate ultra serious 5-a-side. i'm competitive but not to the extent of utter dickishness and a bad atmos that you get in some 5-a-side games. you want competitive but jokes and pisstaking imo.
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:26 (thirteen years ago) link
ILX 5-a-side has gotta happen
― acoleuthic, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:27 (thirteen years ago) link
seriously. make it so.
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:29 (thirteen years ago) link
there was a five week period of work games last year that had three or four fistfights, and it was awesome in many ways but in terms of enjoying the football not so much. a lot of out better players fucked off out of it and set up another game, i hope they're enjoying screaming at each other and the occasional headbutt whereever they are now RIP big men
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:39 (thirteen years ago) link
Ronan I do believe we are all meeting this Sunday for pool? It shall be discussed there.
― acoleuthic, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:40 (thirteen years ago) link
jeez it's CHILLY HERE OUTSIDE THE ILXLONDON ZONE
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:42 (thirteen years ago) link
move here or gtfo
― acoleuthic, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:43 (thirteen years ago) link
contradictory
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:44 (thirteen years ago) link
I mean to destroy you
― acoleuthic, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:45 (thirteen years ago) link
i am a doubt for sunday as friend has suggested a pub trip to watch the ryder cup...which is tempting.
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:47 (thirteen years ago) link
xp that's his whispered trashtalk during 5 a side
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:48 (thirteen years ago) link
o ok
well...I'm sure something can be worked out even as dmac rubs his hands at the fall of our empire
― acoleuthic, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:48 (thirteen years ago) link
only rubbing my hands cos it's chilly out here, you just dont listen
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:50 (thirteen years ago) link
haha...i will try and do both, and obviously post this on the pool thread.
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:51 (thirteen years ago) link
metaphorically chilly
never come in from the cold, agent dunphy
― acoleuthic, Tuesday, 28 September 2010 16:52 (thirteen years ago) link
the rabona cross is actually a running weekly joke in the work five a side.
fellas our age need something to be doing i guess
― unproven (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 November 2018 22:29 (five years ago) link
i recruited the minister to our five a side game ffs
― old yeller-at-clouds (darraghmac), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 17:21 (five years ago) link
safe pair of hands
― imago, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 17:24 (five years ago) link
fair target
― old yeller-at-clouds (darraghmac), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 17:38 (five years ago) link
last minute proper scissor-legged, head flicked, front edge of box into far side netting header from a corner in a real eleven a side to equalise on 90 mins
cant buy a pint tonight lads
― puppy bash (darraghmac), Thursday, 6 December 2018 22:18 (five years ago) link
im gone a yard slow and very one footed, but every few weeks that foot is romarios. had the pleasure of a beaten opponent shouting "i cant stop the fat cunt" into the turf at a late stage tonight as another one went across the keeper and in off the far post.
― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 March 2019 21:37 (five years ago) link
your best self
― PPL+AI=NS (imago), Thursday, 21 March 2019 21:42 (five years ago) link
note that i play three times a weke and the thread is only bumped every few months like
― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 March 2019 21:44 (five years ago) link
btw I can't help but noticing your DN is a riff on the imo standout track off the Luke Kelly album you showed me, one of the better songs I've heard lately, ty again for that
― PPL+AI=NS (imago), Thursday, 21 March 2019 21:44 (five years ago) link
yes it is and yes it is
― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 March 2019 21:48 (five years ago) link
proud day, im now getting targeted
https://i.imgur.com/5IDtdAg.jpg
― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 22:45 (five years ago) link
conversion rate of 6/7 tonight, one top corner first time across meself, one stud-rolled megs, one off the near post after giving him eyes the far
rolled back the years, im a disgrace most games these days
― provisional ilx (darraghmac), Monday, 16 September 2019 22:24 (four years ago) link
Congratulations
― El Tomboto, Monday, 16 September 2019 22:42 (four years ago) link
thanks tb are u kickin a ball at all yrself these days a mhic
― provisional ilx (darraghmac), Monday, 16 September 2019 22:52 (four years ago) link
I live my athletic dreams vicariously through my coworkers who show to the office up with crutches and casts on occasion
― El Tomboto, Monday, 16 September 2019 23:18 (four years ago) link
sports after forty are a game for suckers braver folks than I
― El Tomboto, Monday, 16 September 2019 23:19 (four years ago) link
xp yep ive done that too
non xp well fuck ya ive a year or two yet!
― provisional ilx (darraghmac), Monday, 16 September 2019 23:23 (four years ago) link
this isn't quite scoring a goal but note how confidently the shot at 2:04 is plucked from the air. camera alas cuts away before recording the ball returned inch-perfectly to the keeper
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGZhpN94oBY
― imago, Saturday, 14 December 2019 17:29 (four years ago) link
have been playing in boots purchased dec 2018 all year (obv)
bit too long, which i hate, takes that vital immediacy of contact out of my toe-striking style (will defend this much-maligned technique to the death btw) and if im honest ive not enjoyed many of my games all year as a result, also ive been shit
researched a wider/shorter style and picked up a new pair of boots today en route to a local xmas derby match thats a bit of a tradition down the island, and from the moment i put them on i knew i was back.
scored a few crackers, top corner arced swervers, outside of boot faders, touch and all way better.
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Sunday, 29 December 2019 00:05 (four years ago) link
lads
theyre the same boot
same size, same model, i measured the fuckin things toe to tip.
truly the game is played in our heads
― Banáná hÉireann (darraghmac), Sunday, 29 December 2019 00:07 (four years ago) link
so yesterday
we're 5-2 up, but one of our better players has done his back so we're 9 v 10. I'm having an unusually indifferent game in goal. itching for a go outfield but having to be restrained. pull off my best save in years and then don't come for the ensuing corner which gets bundled in from a yard. get chipped twice. I'm restless. suddenly its 5-5, a man down, and I've had enough. off come the gloves with a panto flourish. our captain and left-back is practically press-ganged into goal and I announce I will play down the left side which is poor code for up front. our midfielder who tbuf has done little all game whines that we're giving up the game (I was keeping like a fool, couldn't he see?) but he probably has a point
anyway, so my first two shots are duff but my third one, after a flowing team move down the right which I started, sails into the roof of the net, past the guy who's chipped me twice and whose turn it was to be in goal. and your hero is not done there - two minutes later I pull off a backheel assist for our striker to lash home the 7th and his 6th. oh yeah, he'd scored all 5 when I came outfield. didn't have a strike partner until then. I make some sort of aggressively wry rejoinder to the given up the game guy but I hardly have to really, the point has been made. it finishes 8-5
― opden gnash (imago), Monday, 20 January 2020 09:55 (four years ago) link
well that's that. you did hand in your notice and hung up yr boots straight after, right?
― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 20 January 2020 10:02 (four years ago) link
not hanging up anything. a glorious goalscoring career against a bunch of ageing music nerds awaits
fwiw I would now dispute the oft-repeated claim that 4-2 is the most embarrassing winning score
― opden gnash (imago), Monday, 20 January 2020 10:06 (four years ago) link
Wait you're not with the ageing music nerds? 'Backheel Assist' a Cardiacs deep cut, surely.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 20 January 2020 10:38 (four years ago) link
ageing music nerd on ageing music nerd action. every few months in regents park. always looking for new players. ability optional, attitude optional
― opden gnash (imago), Monday, 20 January 2020 10:42 (four years ago) link
timely revive
11 a side tonight for our lot, in five degree conditions
― Catherine, Boner of JP Sweeney & Co (darraghmac), Monday, 20 January 2020 11:12 (four years ago) link
new boots clean?
― opden gnash (imago), Monday, 20 January 2020 11:15 (four years ago) link
had a horror show last thurs, confidence is low
― Catherine, Boner of JP Sweeney & Co (darraghmac), Monday, 20 January 2020 11:18 (four years ago) link
back to the old identical pair it is then
― opden gnash (imago), Monday, 20 January 2020 11:19 (four years ago) link
i was shite all year in them, weve moved on and im not revisiting
― Catherine, Boner of JP Sweeney & Co (darraghmac), Monday, 20 January 2020 12:34 (four years ago) link
lads it wasnt great it wasnt awful it got us out into a beautiful evening im giving it a C+
― Catherine, Boner of JP Sweeney & Co (darraghmac), Tuesday, 21 January 2020 09:09 (four years ago) link
Won a frame 53-46 on a re-spotted black tonight ahhh yeah that’s the stuff
― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 13 March 2020 22:45 (four years ago) link
entirely approve of this flex
― strangely hookworm but they manage ream shoegaze poetry (imago), Friday, 13 March 2020 22:50 (four years ago) link
actually, as i have alluded elsewhere, we don't have any sports in our isolation chamber/flat except a carrom board so expect some I POCKETED THREE COINS IN A ROW action soon enough
― strangely hookworm but they manage ream shoegaze poetry (imago), Friday, 13 March 2020 22:51 (four years ago) link
Ha, yeah. Check mate in nine moves ffs!
― Le Bateau Ivre, Saturday, 14 March 2020 11:57 (four years ago) link