"Don’t anybody start talking about morals, because we don’t have any in football" - the rolling Scottish football thread, season 2014/15

Thanks to Gordon Strachan for being the moral compass of this thread and providing our new title.

Aberdeen get the new season off to a flier by thumping Daugava Riga home and away before the World Cup even finished. Some sleeping/comatose giants will be fighting it out in the Championship and apparently this will be exciting for us all, while Celtic take a step into the unknown with a new manager no-one had heard of two months ago, kicking off tomorrow night in Reyjavik.

Oh, and Dundee are, for now at least, better than Man City. Scottish football still not dead yet.

Have at it.

Has there been any chat abt this anywhere?

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/jul/14/england-scotland-friendly-celtic-park

Oh, and we get to play England again this year, though perhaps that's for the Scotland international thread.

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/jul/14/england-scotland-friendly-celtic-park

xpost haha, there has now!

A combination of the world cup, travelling, and not really giving a fuck means that as we are on the cusp of Celtic's latest great adventure in Europe, I have yet to hear the new manager speak.

Here's the considered opinion of a colleague:
"Have you heard him talk? Dunno if he's stupid or gay but there's something fucked up about his voice. That 'Only an Excuse' guy will have a field-day with him. Fucking own goal right away if you ask me!"

Like we shouldn't employ managers if some piss-poor impressionist will mock them for 5 minutes a year, or if they "sound gay", which is apparently "fucked up" - wtf :(

I asked said colleague how intelligent and/or hetero he would sound speaking Norwegian and got a hard stare in return :)

Met a mate of mine today and he was asking where I was watching the game tonight and I had to think about what game he was talking about despite having started this thread yesterday with mention of it :-(

Stokes and Griffiths running to all the wrong places. Pedestrian midfield. Sole strategy seems to be to hope Commons cunts one from 30 yards.

So staggeringly inept and unimaginative that I can't even get annoyed.

We won!

Mostly meh. Couple of good efforts off the woodwork. Commons mostly decent. McGregor looks promising.

I accept that it was difficult to break down what was effectively a back six but we seemed devoid of any invention or variation.

I'm expecting a shitefest in Luzern on Thursday, no good reason really other than pessimism. Cautiously looking forward to the home leg. Would be nice if everyone at least got through their current rounds.

I am hoping that Deila gets some dosh to spend, and spends it more effectively than Griffiths and Stokes did on whatever the fuck they did to their hair.

I knew there was a reason I should have watched that game last night!

I was watching last night and thought "hang on, they're still bald!"

Refunds in order.

As for spending, looks like the same shit Lennon put up with - you can't buy the players who'll get you to the Champions League until you get to the Champions League.

iirc he spent it all on segways quite soon after arriving?

http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/sites/default/files/imagecache/400xY/2014/7/24650498.jpg

(oh hello new thread!)

smooth segway into the new thread sktsh

irl office lol

Never has a man looked more The Accused than Leigh Griffiths in a suit

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/74300000/jpg/_74300438_leegriffiths.jpg

Has his missus got all the hair he couldn't hold on to?

she looks more wig than wag iyam

Perfectly chosen photo on wikipedia

http://i58.tinypic.com/jgtjsy.jpg

Please, I was having a good day till I opened this thread.

That should cheer you up! We used to have that, now we have, well, someone none of us knows anything about!

1-1 away to FC Luzern, would have taken that before kick off.

At least he's taking it on his forehead not taking it on the fucking chin like in every post-match interview ever. Still, I think we can agree he looks like every fucker that paid to watch one of his teams.

Great result.
Aberdeen ok so far at 0-0.
Motherwell have lost an away goal but lead 2-1.

Draws all round. Fingers crossed we get everyone through.

If Celtic get through they'll face the winners of St Patrick's and Legia Warsaw (currently 1-1) in the next round.

Europa League: Aberdeen will play Real Sociedad should they progress from their match with FC Groningen.

Europa League: St Johnstone will face FC Zestafoni or FC Spartak Trnava if they can beat FC Luzern in the second leg.

Europa League: Motherwell will take on JK Nõmme Kalju or KKS Lech Poznań if they overcome Stjarnan in Iceland next week

plum tie for the dons there

Indeed. St Johnstone's potential opponents, not so much (basis for this: I've never heard of them therefore they can't be in any way relevant or good). Am aware of both Motherwell's potential opponents, specifically Poznan for inventing the huddle and having a ton of mad ultras who make the Green Brigade look like a Sunday school picnic.

Celtic v St Patrick's Athletic in 1998 remains one of the worst games of football I have ever seen in my life. And I watched that Iran v Nigeria game in the World Cup.

This is gold:

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-match-reports/sacramento-republic-1-rangers-2-3886112

Would totally go to Championship football matches if you always got free food for Ian Black fouling someone and free pizza for someone scoring against Sevco. And you could piss off to the shows half-way through.

Seriously, why the fuck are they flying half-way round the world for this when they could just play a Sunday league team in Strathclyde Park? I thought they were skint?

Are the Pars playing all their pre-season fixtures against teams in their own league? (NB This may be complete bollocks, but I know they played us and I see from that Record page they also played Rangers. I can't be arsed looking it up though, and truth be told this is a rhetorical question because I don't really care.)

The Pars aren't in that league.

Ah, that'll explain it.

dunno how reliable this is but...

http://www.vipboxgb.co/football/238436/1/celtic-vs-kr-reykjavik-live-stream-online.html

Have to say kudos to the Celtic fans: I live near Murrayfield, but didn't hear a peep from Scottish rugby fans, nor the Tweens at their One Direction concert, but can hear the football!

Best fans in the world iirc :)

Weird game, playing well and dominating but all goals coming from set pieces or stupid mistakes. Was fearing the worst, entertainment wise, early on as KR basically set up like Levein era Scotland - needed the early goal to open it up a bit.

Dying at this

The Huddleboard ‏@huddleboard 8s

I like Liam Henderson even if his head does look like a balloon with not enough air in it. #celtic

http://img.uefa.com/imgml/TP/players/1/2014/324x324/250056848.jpg

haha, that is gold.

Mon the coefficient! Aberdeen through to play Sociedad, and St Johnstone and Motherwell both a goal to the good in their ties.

I don't hate penalty shootouts quite so much anymore.

Congratulations! Shame Motherwell couldn't hold onto their lead.

So long Tony Watt :(

Amido Balde is apparently a better squad option :(

Loan deal for Jo Inge Berget, who couldn't get a game at Cardiff :(

Yay! Away goal!

No! Conceded shite goal!

Sell England World Cup Goalkeeper Fraser Forster while there's still money in him!

It's that time of year when we say...

WE NEED A FUCKIN LEFT BACK!

Is that not all year every year?

aye but louder in transfer windows

I like Packie Bonner as a co-commentator.

WE NEED A FUCKIN CENTRE HOFF!

RIGHT BACK AN ALL FUCK SAKE!

FFS DEILA OUT

he's since moved from the premier league to the championship twice

I've warmed to old Kingsley over the course of the day, mostly because of the hilarious twitter reaction of people refusing to take their kids to Firhill because they'll be traumatised for life.

Have you all seen the logo? This is surely not real.

http://ptfc.co.uk/img/2012/spiff/kingsford.jpg

twitter users not alone among the group of people who haven't bothered to look up who david shrigley is and what he's all about, bbc reporters are at it too http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/33223578/partick-thistles-kingsley-will-bring-shame-on-the-good-name-of-mascots

I saw that logo earlier, and it is wonderful. I can see why some Partick fans may not be so enamoured, it's easy for me to be into it given I support a different team. I almost wish it was Saints so I could witness the meltdown on We Are Perth.

I think there's a pretty earnest discussion in the Thistle thread on P&B about the blocked out spelling mistake in the logo. Clearly Shrigley is not as well known as some of us may have thought!

on the jags forum i read people seem to be enjoying the madness of it all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I would *love* to see the meltdown if Celtic did this. It's bad enough when they remove a hoop from the strip.

Basically, I'm not a fan of Shrigley (if my mate who gave me a David Shrigley book for my last birthday there is lurking here, sorry...), but I like the madness of it all without particularly being a fan of the aesthetic. And now I think I've decided I want the entire thing to be a stunt and for Partick to come out next season with a dull old kit with the Kingsford official corporate logo* on their shirt and a bee hugging the kids and doing stupid dances, having owned the internet for a day, just to confuse everyone further.

* which I can't find. They're not very internetty, from what I can see.

tbf the discounted-from-fopp david shrigley book is the quick-fix gift that every kinda cool kinda young person from in or around glasgow has both purchased and received

Ha, I am neither young nor cool, but I suspect my friend has more than a passing knowledge of the Fopp discount shelves.

Kingsford official logo is dull, two lion heads with a crown above them.

Hotel wifi giving me as much as "wardrobe injury setback for Commons" but not letting me get details. Presumably up there with the decorating incident that cost Dean Sheils an eye.

I see we not only took over St Midden tonight but even replaced the club signage outside the "stadium".

He dropped a wardrobe on his foot.

I'm going to the game against Real Sociedad at the fake Celtic Park in Paisley. Shall Report Back.

We signed a right back. Exactly what we need as we only had Lustig, Matthews, Fisher and Ambrose to cover that position.

How are we for left backs again?
*counts fingers on one finger*

I'm not convinced Kris Commons could lift a wardrobe.

Maybe he was hiding in it from Steven Gerrard.

Correction: it was a wardrobe door, not the full wardrobe.

How's his missus's doing-a-job-for-£300 charity drive coming along? Maybe she could play at left back?

Adam Matthews away to Sunderland, apparently. Which leaves us with with only four right backs.

So long AM! Usually excellent at right back and also memorably good one time at left back. Chipped in with a couple of stunning goals too.
Also well done for mostly staggering your injuries with Lustig so at least one of you was available to keep Efe out of the way of the buses.

That wee run of swapping-a-right-back-for-a-right-back worked well with two half-fit candidates for the role.

Also, should we start a new thread now that Aberdeen and St Johnstone have kicked the season off already?

Indeed, though I'd like a do-over please!

Yeah, not the best of starts, was it? Tried to watch a bit of it, but Armenian telly stream wasn't playing.

Another potentially major injury for Davidson not great either.

Given the heat and how little was known about the opposition (and the likelihood that they were going to be reasonable opposition) i'd not been expecting much - a draw or a narrow win, so it's not the end of the world. Not higely confident we'll turn them over next week, though.

something something Nadir of our scouting strategy

gonnae stick my big challopy neck out and say he won't cut it in Europe any better than whoever he's supposed to replace.

was it well known that van hooijdonk is an agent now? I had no idea

(commiserations on the euro tie michael)

Yeah, what a bummer.

I am almost out of the deep pit of despondency that followed my attendance at the game.

Wasn't much of a game, they were happy to foul and break things down, we toiled. Some bizarre decisions. Couldn't make numerical advantage count. They score from a long overhead ball. Had to field a makeshift midfield through injuries, then lost both central defenders due to injury during the game.

All excuses though. Just wasn't good enough over the two legs.

The blessing is we don't have to go through to the next round missing something like seven starting first team players.

Wow, that was some result from Aberdeen the night.

hey we won a CL tie
vs a terrible team
on a shite pitch
and lost a goal

so much to look forward to!

wtf @ SPFL scheduling SIX Celtic games in 28 days during the fucking CL qualifiers?! Arseholes.

Shall we have a new thread and what shall we call it?

(non-ILF got a bit clusterfucky lately eh?)

I think we should have a new thread. Did anyone say anything silly recently?

Well done us, and well done sheep. Mon the coefficient!

Aye well done Aberdeen (so far, no jinxing!) and nae luck StJ and good luck ICT. Let's get a coefficient that starts future seasons in August!

Surprisingly I don't think anyone's said anything all that stupid lately, or not of the quotable variety.

Ann Budge is no Mad Vlad

Those were second legs - sheep through, ICT are out.

Oops - thought they still had a tie. Four weeks of no football and I'm lost.

Wait. Got it.

I had it in my head we played Tuesday and tonight was Wednesday and the Europa ties were tomorrow.

Did anyone see the Daily Record article the other day where King says Rangers will only be bigger than Celtic again when the fans pile enough money in the tills? Don't get me wrong, I think football clubs should operate within their means, but the article seemed a little bit pleading.

Here we go: http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/dave-king-rangers-never-big-6118402

The headline may just be mischief.

Great result for Aberdeen tonight. Had a feeling McInnes would have them well prepared.

They have Almaty in the next round, but Aleshkert actually beat them tonight which should give the Dons some confidence. Brutal bit of travelling, though.

I was gonnae moan about travelling till I saw Aberdeen's draw.

lol wtf etc

http://m.stv.tv/sport/football/clubs/st-johnstone/1325286-watch-st-johnstone-striker-graham-cummins-zip-eyelid-to-tracksuit-top/

the url doesn't lie

They'll be zipping their eyelids to their trackies: Scottish Football 2015-16

there's no way im watching that, the very idea is freaking me oot.

Useful away goal for Aberdeen to keep the tie alive. That was apparently the longest journey ever taken for a European tie.

Remember Legia Warsaw were all #letfootballwin when they forfeited a tie against Celtic?

http://m.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/33778475

Seems they're okay with undeserved 3-0 wins now.

http://m.stv.tv/sport/football/clubs/celtic/1326254-john-collins-says-scottish-teams-not-clever-enough-to-trouble-celtic/

No disrespect but yous are all shite.

John Collins humble as ever.

Someone set us up a thread.

Kingsley can't wave.

"Kingsley can't wave" - the rolling Scottish football thread, season 2015/16
"John Collins, humble as ever." - the rolling Scottish football thread, season 2015/16

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CL99t7AWIAENzCz.jpg

Ha, awesome.

Thread title needs to be Kingsley-based. Someone think of one and I'll lock this one. Still too shocked at the sight of Tam Rogic scoring a goal to think straight.

If it was that easy they would win the treble every year: etc 2015/16

New thread: "You've no right to be angry with John Collins". SPFL, season 2015/2016