EFL My Concubine - Football League and beyond 2016-17

it's started ffs, gotta get on with it. hat tip to rtc for this year's title. let the moaning commence.

stoked for the sadness

going by the radio commentary "it's started" may be an exaggeration

it will have been asked who's ready

our only serious rivals for the title are choking already, excellent

rafa is definitely not ready

do need some jpegs up in this tho

http://i.imgur.com/pYip17P.jpg

HE'S RUDDY

http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/67/590x/ross-444798.jpg

HE'LL TAKE HIS IN READIES, CHEERS

http://worldsoccertalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/massimo-cellino.png

HE'S READY

http://worldsoccertalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/massimo-cellino.png

HE'S READY AGAIN ALREADY

http://www.expressandstar.com/wpmvc/wp/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/shi-beer.jpg

HE'S READY TO PARTY

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/football/2016/05/24/Xia_NEIL_CONNOR_1-large_trans++V3svVdN4VzwsRrPaP9W1heg7keiGOikSkuCgacRW2xE.jpg

HE'S TELLING ANYONE WHO'LL LISTEN HOW READY HE IS

http://www.burtonalbionfc.co.uk/cms_images/clough4x3241-2703719_478x359.jpg

HE'S GOT A PORTRAIT IN THE ATTIC SOMEWHERE

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/onesport/cps/624/cpsprodpb/D486/production/_83960445_nigel_pearson2.jpg

HE'S READY TO TAKE IT OUTSIDE

tell you what bolo, i've gone to the unneccessary trouble of watching the second half with the actual farewell my concubine ost playing over the top and i'm not ashamed to admit it imbues this and likely any other champo slog with a savagely romantic tearful grace

speaking of grace, that little pirouette to control with the back and take a Newcastle player out of the game was p. sweet

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/748973218241847296/cdhJZQVe.jpg
This volkisch 6"4 Robbie Savage alike that nobody has ever heard of is ready

https://twitter.com/markhowell88/status/761660011324043264

xp sure was

INITIATING RAFAWATCH...

see i'd assumed big matt smith was a provincial lad but i've never heard a player more fulham in my life. can imagine patrick bamford prospering alongside

prospering as in throwing up outside a wine bar wearing red chinos obv

Absolutely lagged and hungover to fuck, but totally psyched for today. Typically excellent work by r|t|c for the new thread title, whether intentional or not.

we're already off the bottom of the table so good work Zenga

after trying to find out who michael hefele (the big man posted above) was and then falling down a terriers wormhole reading about their other fun summer signings you've never heard of i too am very psyched for hudds v brentford. game of the day! nm derby brighton. hopefully there will be a stream

to sum up they now have
- two german cbs, one very accomplished, the other the big lummox
- a giant monster midfield with 6ft4 croatian prison guard next to big young billing and easter island whitehead
- four tricky new amcs
- ellis kachunga

of course now i've said this i can only apologise in advance for terriers 1-3 bees, scannell consolation

https://twitter.com/georgeelokobi/status/761848553580929024

mods plz embed to op

QPR are hoping to complete the signing of winger Yeni Ngbakoto from French club Metz but face competition from Wolves.

Rangers have spent several weeks trying to negotiate a deal to sign the 24-year-old and looked set to get their man.

But there is late interest from Wolves, who

http://i.imgur.com/9MH3W8e.gif

how many wingers do we want?

i'd like to apologize to everybody in the thread because "late interest from Wolves" is obv our new thing

the Zenga bus is stalling

lol

Warnock abides

Stelling losing it a bit, referring to Cinnamon Jackson, saying the same team twice when announcing a match etc

more sick about grant ward (debut hat trick off the wing for ipswich) than i am bodvarsson (also scored, obviously) and ngbakoto. you'd think we'd at least have cornered the fucking market on spurs rejects...

lol i seem to have missed some excitement this afty while i was watching the kids do musical theatre

http://www.expressandstar.com/sport/wolverhampton-wanderers-fc/2016/08/06/breaking-jorge-mendes-fosun-chairman-and-benfica-president-attend-wolves-v-rotherham/

oh man Kasey Palmer's debut was something. A few touches and he scores the winner and then a ridiculous 10 minute spell when everyone is standing every time he is on the ball. New keeper Danny Ward is commanding and looks like a class prospect + fuck Brentford's dirty swarming tactics during set-pieces - pure fucking Wally Downes bs is that, Kachunga is so fast. Was struggling to work out who the fuck was who but seen enough today to realise we are fucking taking this league:p

We lost 2-0 to Bury and Roger Johnson came up to our fans at the end and said "if you don't fucking like it, don't come"

he's mellowed

Might wanna look at a new keeper Burton

5 player is lame, it doesn't seem to have a watch from start option

Got it on the telly, you haven't been on yet

Van Gogh's severed ear is apparently more important.

There's a Plus 1 channel don't forget

There has been some shit goalkeeping in the Champo today

lol god bless rotherham

Ngbakoto, 24, has signed a three-year contract at Loftus Road despite a late offer from Wolves.

This time though it went QPR’s way, with Ngbakoto telling them on Saturday afternoon that he had decided to join them.

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/new-cardiff-city-signing-jazz-11714867

New Cardiff City signing Jazz Richards has found himself at the centre of controversy after allegedly refusing several requests from Bluebirds fans to perform the famous Ayatollah on his competitive debut.

Several fans who were at the match claimed Richards refused repeated requests to 'do the Ayatollah' before being booed by his own supporters.

One fan, Carl Curtis, wrote on the Cardiff City forum he helps run: "I am at the game and this is absolutely true. In fact, it is now seven times [Richards has been asked to do the Ayatollah].

"If Lex Immers and Lee Peltier hadn't pointed it out to him then I would have given him the benefit of the doubt but he heard it and refused. No wonder we all booed him."

The issue also formed part of a BBC Radio Wales phone-in following the match.

Scott Johnson ‏@roathboy 6h Cardiff, Wales
Jazz Richards is silly if he refused to do the ayatollah all game. It's not like he can avoid doing it for the next three years. Pointless

fans really are the lowest of the low

Cardiff fans have always been a very classy bunch.

I have just spent the last half an hour fucking about with 5 player, retrieving lost password, disengaging adblockers, trying different browsers to no avail. Just going get a stream of Leeds getting stuffed instead.

havent, may probably never have the strength to articulate how catastrophically appalling that show is

shout out to sky today scheduling a game like wednesday-villa against the charity shield purely to grift a pointless couple audience % off bt

still the fl changed the logo so job done

turrican as calzino's like for like replacement itt next season pls

― imago, Monday, 29 May 2017 18:49 (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah that's one FP i'm happy to stand by

I didn't realise hangovers could go this deep, even 40 odd of years of getting pissed couldn't prepare for this!

Nuno should be enthroned today, our fans are about to go into a full reverse Brexit meltdown every bit as acrimonious as the referendum.

i don't think i have any illusions about Mendes and where his interests lie but like a lot of our fans he's an (unfortunate?) part of what we all crave - a thorough scouring of the post-McCarthy shitkicking era, some chance of aspiring to something a little more exciting than lumpen Champoball.

of course there's everything chance of this turning full farce but even full farce is better than football gruel for the rest of forever.

The train i travelled on to Wembley was a retro charter train, it was top class. The staff were total non-dicks + didn't care that people were openly hitting the wine and liquor at 11.30 am and you could leave your bags and belongings on there for the return. It travelled on a freight line and wasn't subject to many signalling stops. Total fucking great way to do the Wembley experience, it was.

More ArsenLOLz, http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/40094402

"How are you going to get Antoine Greizmann to sign?" Wilson said.

Assistant - Rui Pedro Silva
GK coach - Rui Barbosa
Fitness coach - Antonio Dias

wtf are Arsenal doing in here?

Yeah, soz, wrong thread. Wishful thinking perhaps?

easy to get confused when the fan of a prem club has just been recently posting :p

:D :D

Ha!

Have you been to the celebrations in town Calzino? I saw a short clip of a very enthusiastic Wagner:

David Wagner is going for it at Huddersfield Town's Premier League promotion party! #HTAFC #PlayOffFinal pic.twitter.com/XbQWaXtEhi

— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) May 30, 2017

I was way too hungover to go yesterday! Wagner has this charming mix of German reserve/impeccable politeness, and then sometimes he just lets rip in quite an infectious manner and it looked like he had a fair few beers at the parade. Fucking legend!

Yeah he totally is. I really, really hope he stays on.

Rajiv's gotten some deserved Dutch press after this, I've seen. Happy for the lad, he started out at my closest local team, Heerenveen. Was completely anonymous over here but he'll be a PL player next season. Quite amazing.

If not for Mooy's stand out credentials as POtS, Van La Parra could have been next in line. He still needs to improve in the final 3rd and does split opinions, but when he is on song he is a joy to watch. If he had more of an end product he would be a £20 m player and wouldn't have ended up at Town. So no complaints from me!

classic example of a one-dimensional player allowed to play to his best by clever tactical deployment

it sounds a bit reductive, but probably mostly true if I take off the ol' blue tinted specs!

i didn't word it as well as I could but you know what I mean - the lad only really has one job, but in the right set-up he can be v effective at that job

I thought NV's remark was a compliment tbf. Sadly I've not seen full matches of the terriers in years (used to live there and visited some matches but it's hard out here without a bought tv license thingy to watch championship matches etc) but I do get the sense Wagner is getting the most out of him. Another comment I was going to post but didn't because of its obviousness said 'Rajiv also highly praising his manager in Dutch press. As one does after promotion obv, but he really, really seems happy with him as his manager'.

Scoring more goals would be nice, but I can't imagine him to be much worse than a lot of right table PL wingers.

Wagner has committed to a long term contract despite "interesting" offers from elsewhere, that is a game-changer for Town. A commendable decision considering he has a hell of a job on, and being at the bottom of the prem might not enhance his rep. Although I'm sure his mega-wage will make it worthwhile, and he's worth every fucking penny!

bebe to wolves?

calzino i love you man but gtfo this thread

sorry, it takes a very long time for my old tired wet-brain to process current events. I'd only just got over that we aren't in League 1 anymore. I'm gone.

Bebe would be amusing, I wd just assume we'll be linked to any Portuguese capable of pulling on a shirt for the next 2 months. Even he still probably couldn't do worse than the strikers we have

How did I miss Slutsky going to Hull? This is going to be great.

Omg I've been too busy following our Mendesification to check in on City

It looks for all the world as though Orient have been taken over by a fellow who runs Dunkin' Donuts and Baskin Robbins.

The O's indeed

"terrier** liked your post in the thread Wells."

It is weirdly affecting when a poster you have only known in a vicarious football message-board fashion dies at quite a young age. I often didn't agree with this rude fucker for the last decade I can remember him, and he had this really repetitive and ugly "I'm not bloody pc me pal, I'm a Yorkshireman" type shtick. This is just simply a *posts you aren't going to post on an RIP thread type thing. But tbh I do feel sad as well, probably more so than when the old boy was planted last month. One of his last posts was pretty good as well, it was about turning up at work still pissed from the night before and doing an A+ paint job on someone's car, but in the wrong colour. An excelsior by my abysmal standards no less.

Simon Grayson as a boy pic.twitter.com/PLO5j91pWM

— Enzo Eamore (@EamoV1) June 29, 2017

I bet that beady eyed-bastard won't be crass enough to let his "marching on together" ringtone blare out in front of the Sunderland football hacks.

Blimey Calzino, I was just properly hit by the realisation that this thread will have to survive without you next season. Wishing instant relegation on youse is a step to far but please don't be a stranger 'ere :)

I'm sure most ppl will be glad tbh!

Terriers maybe, but not us!

oof! Commiserations, Windsor.

It is with great sadness that Wolves are today announcing that Carl Ikeme has been diagnosed with acute leukaemia.https://t.co/yGsoT4rjiE pic.twitter.com/3WQCraBl1v

— Wolves (@Wolves) July 6, 2017

saw it last night. horrible news.

Just having my first experience with the EFL iFollow player page, listening to the pre-season friendly gainst Bury. So starved of football r/n that even this typically glib but likeable commentary team is actually quite fun! I think this is where all FL clubs will get legal streams next season.

this season's programme covers are gonna be by Jody Craddock, so hyped already

off to see whitehawk tomorrow - my son won a prize at school to be one of the mascots. turns out they're playing imago's mob

right, let's have some title suggestions for the new season. best I've got at the moment is "Throwing Bad Money After Good"

"Slutsky Sports 2"?

right, let's have some title suggestions for the new season. best I've got at the moment is "Throwing Bad Money After Good"

Gets my vote. Even though all we do is loan deals. And we're 10-3 to get relegated.

I missed this...

/Speaking about the Addicks thrashing, McCarthy said: "It was embarrassing. It was a complete shambles, a really disgraceful performance.

"I just said to them that if that was in November, the quote would be 'he's lost the dressing room and they don't want to play for him'. I know that's not the case, but that's what would be said."

McCarthy vowed that his side would perform better against Birmingham, but expects a poor reaction from supporters if they fail to do so.

"It doesn't bode well for anybody, how they feel about me, how they feel about the team, or how they feel about the club, getting slapped here, six," the former Wolves boss added.

"Come along and support us and cheer us and let's hope we can beat Birmingham, and if we don't, then I accept the inevitable."

I wonder what "the inevitable" is. Presumably another mediocre season.

last week he was moaning about the money some clubs are now spending in the Champo *cough* and ok, fair enough, but if Ipswich suddenly got bought out by a consortium of spendthrift Chinese oligarchs i'm not sure Mick is the guy you'd want splurging your money

he'd probably spend most of it on a cyborg Christophe Berra or something

It is so liberating to not have to moan about oligarchs and parachute money anymore. Get yr fucking backside back into that bacon slicer, Mick t'old lad! If Ipswich get taken over by those foreign folk that don't speak reet, you can re-sign Daryl Murphy on a 4 year contract!

I'm waiting for gazza on a pay to play tbh

John Terry.
Ahmed Elmohamady.
Glenn Whelan.
Chris Samba.

https://media.giphy.com/media/91X2MlgF7dHsA/giphy.gif

An incredible 79 per-cent of sales have included the new club captain’s surname which has led to a shortage of letters on the printing desk at the Villa Park club shop.

Jesus, Mary & Joseph!

a million spent on Joe Garner and now allegedly a bid for "premier league forward" Harry Bunn is imminent. Someone needs to tell Mick that they aren't lakin' in League One yet!