Is Jack Colback the least glamorous footballer in the Premier League?

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00202/derry2005_202643a.jpg

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2008/12/16/DavidPrutton460x276.jpg

Separated at birth obv.

Onuoha played for City for too long to count. QPR in general I reckon are a little too flash, although Clint Hill seems to fashioning an image of One Of The Guys You Can Rely Upon.

you're not supposed to mention clint hill without shaun derry

You've been busy and I'm impressed. Surely Ferreira would be Chelsea's least glam player?

OK he won the CL and has played for Portugal many times but just look at the guy

clint is too glam a name for this regardless of whatever he does

i am slowly settling for chris baird now i think, the solomonic choice between the nakh and wbs formulations

just looked at his wiki page and uhm i thought the person picture was aaron hughes

so yeah, five seasons in the epl playing fairly often, probably the most unprepossessing fulham player and fulham probably the most unprepossessing team relative to their results in recent years

there are worse choices, certainly

oh I didn't realise that Aaron Hughes was a Premier League player before his time at Fulham. Over 400 top level appearances in 16 seasons, now I'm really impressed by his remarkable unremarkableness.

Kevin Friend clearly feels sorry for Villa, two penalties for Wigan in five minutes ignored

Sorry I thought this was th

%

haha

baird scored twice in one game, and has scored at least one belter, not sure about him

op itt is the best thing i've read on football all year and must be worth submitting somewhere that pays

Is Chris Baird really less glam than this guy? I mean, really?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/55/Jack_Colback_2012.jpg/250px-Jack_Colback_2012.jpg

Myself, Local Garda and Swygart spent at least half an hour on the FT pub crawl last night discussing this very question. Other key points:

- Being a Northern Ireland international is less glam than playing for the Republic
- Not getting in the Ireland team is actually more glamorous than being in it, given Trap's disdain for relative flair players like McClean, Hoolahan etc.
- "Can play across the back four or in central midfield" = virtually essential
- There's a thread on the Sunderland forum where a load of fans are getting really angry at Jack Colback for missing the Man City game to be at the birth of his first child. I reckon being in your early 20s and having a stable girlfriend/wife (of whom no pictures exist on the internet) and child helps.
- http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/may/12/jack-colback-sunderland-paul-scholes
- ^^^^ Lol.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/43995000/jpg/_43995310_baird.jpg

Does look like his mum's cut his hair, in fairness.

On the other hand, Chris Baird has played in a Europa Cup Final against Athletico Madrid and also I think faced Juve and Shaktar. And Fulham are owned by Mohamed Al-Fayed which should really disqualify them from discussion altogether.

Colback otoh is a youth team player whose sole stint anywhere else has been at Ipswich on loan.

this is the issue at hand though, surely baird's candidacy is richer for all the glam that hasnt remotely rubbed off on him compared to colback's bog-standard obscurity

I feel like graduate from the youth team is an important factor. No moves of note, certainly none for proper money. If he has moved, low fee probably less glamorous than outright release. Need he be a local lad? Not sure, but clearly if both lad and team are northern it helps.

I was going to posit that he shouldn't score, but there's an inflection point where no goals turns into a type of francisbenalian celebrity in its own right.

precisely what disqualifies hibbo

well, that and his song to the tune of 'no limit'

This ability to appreciate the bigger picture promises to serve him well, but one shock could still be in store for Colback, his girlfriend, Joanne, and their six-week-old daughter, Lily. "We live in Newcastle, but fortunately I don't get much banter from their fans because I very rarely get recognised," he says. "Pushing the baby in her pram or doing the shopping I'm under the radar."

red headed sunderland player not even notice in sunderland is pretty impressive

in NEWCASTLE

'No Hibbert'? What the hell

jack colback, collecting the kids.

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/51811000/jpg/_51811166_baird226.jpg

oi, oi mate, mate. listen yeah thing is i'm trying to get enough money for a bus to the europa cup final i'm playing in, can i have 20p?... alright, have a good night anyway yeah

impt cross cultural understanding opportunity in hoops land, lads
so not baller

uh if u want the top of the thread
so not baller

small squad sizes militate against this, also the fact half of basketball players like> 6'7 230lbs which makes it hard for them to be unpropossessing

nfl is better cuz there are all of those people who get cut in pre-season for three years running then manage to get a short term contract and do maybe one or two things in their entire career that causes them to be identified individually

you're not supposed to mention clint hill without shaun derry

― things that are jokes pretty much (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Saturday, 29 December 2012 13:40 (5 days ago)

/Neil-Warnock-wants-QPRs-Clint-Hill-and-Shaun-Derry-at-Leeds.html

http://twitter.com/tattoobaron/status/247701615757373440

Disqualified.

http://i.imgur.com/C9ixezf.jpg

:)

skimming through this it seems that adam le fondre is the least glam epl player of the month winner since marcus bent in 2002 at the very latest

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premier_League_Player_of_the_Month

April 	1997 	 Ireland 	Mickey Evans 	Southampton 	FW 	[13]

don't even know who that is

hahaha i totally forgot we won two in a row

summer 2005, greatest ashes series, me packed off to uni, it all promised so much

that was during a barely plausible stretch of 18 months with only one non-english winner, a whole series of vermin like nolan, bent, twp, terry etc

they seem to be more honest now cuz there wasn't a single english winner last year

Anton fucking Ferdinand!!

In October 2006, Ferdinand was arrested on assault charges following a fracas outside a nightclub in Ilford. He was charged in November 2006.[32] He appeared at Snaresbrook Crown Court on 12 November 2007 charged with assault occasioning actual bodily harm and affray, arising from this incident. It was alleged that Ferdinand had punched Emile Walker. In his defence, Ferdinand said he had feared he was going to be robbed of his £64,000 watch and was defending himself.[33] On 20 November 2007, Ferdinand was acquitted as the jury accepted he was acting in self-defence.[34]

The 23-year-old West Ham centre-back is expected to complete the £8m transfer today after yesterday's medical and Keane was happy to give an insight into how he persuaded his ninth signing of the summer to move to the Stadium of Light.

"There is no reason why he can't go on and become a top, top player. I think he has an international future," said Sunderland's manager. "He has played over 150 games and we're on about players with a bit of experience so, for all his rawness, he has a few games under his belt. He knows the Premiership, he is English, it's a good price, so it suits everyone.

MICKEY EVANS! Ah, one of my favourite Saints players for a time given his knack of scoring by shoving his forehead right into the firing line. I fondly recall one goal (not sure against who, possibly West Ham? Think Miklosko was in goal) which was him nodding in a corner from maybe two yards, then crashing into the post. Then Miklosko goes into the post. And then Mickey (impervious to goalposts) heads off to celebrate with the team, but Francis Benali runs into the post while trying to join in.

I'm fairly sure I'm not making this up.

(There are so many ex-Saints players who'd be all-timers on this thread, probably none more than Simon Charlton)

In May 2012, he appeared for and captained the Sealand national football team in a match against the Chagos Islands. The match was held at the grounds of Godalming Town.[13]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17981522

February 2004 Brazil Edu† Arsenal MF [23]
March 2004 Finland Mikael Forssell Birmingham City FW [23]

I cannot remember what happened in football during these two months, but... hmm.

Scoring for fun iirc