"If you believe, if you go for it, then everything is possible. You can win the Scottish Cup and become a champion" - rolling Scottish football 2013/14

So. Armageddon failed to break out last season, so on we struggle with a shiny new league structure with pyramids and everything, broken Hearts, potential madness in Methil, and no Charles Green, Vladimir Romanov* or Kenny Shiels to brighten our days. Let's do this.

* except in the thread title, obviously.

the new kit thing turned out to be for real

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BNNCW4SCUAASI2P.png

Scott Brown appears to have gone all in with the new sponsor and had the logo tattooed on his arm.

The new home shorts are white, with a green stripe down each side, and the white home socks feature the new hoop design, with seven fully-engineered thinner hoops as featured in the shirt.

Vorsprung Durch 'Tic-nik

The outside of my work was 'swarmed' with paparazzi last night (well, there was a couple of journos with cameras). The administrator's office is in our building. I'll try and photobomb where I can, but for all the photographs they've been taking every news agency seems to just be going with a picture of Tynecastle. The only gossip I'm getting is that folk from the board have been in and out today. I'll see if the building receptionist has been privvy to owt...

^ inside info. Love it.

I never bothered saying in here that last year I was doing a wee bit of temping due to a downturn in my hours in my real job, and ended up doing a couple of days at an auctioneers who were swamped with work, reason being is that they were all really busy valuing everything at Murray Park and Ibrox. Was hilarious to hear a guy trying to get valuations on undersoil heating equipment and physiotherapy tables and having to go "no, I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to disclose where they're located, no I couldn't possibly comment on whether it's exactly the same as the ones you delivered to Murray Park last year", etc.

This was just after Rangers went into administration, so it wasn't of any particular interest, and valuation of assets in administration/prior to preparing a CVA isn't terribly exciting, and I didn't learn anything of note. Also, didn't want to be disclosing stuff I was privy to when I was still temping for the agency.

Were the paps "swarming" at Castle Terrace or 191 W George Street?

Loving this guy's commitment to Scottish football lolz

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/hearts-fan-vows-vladimir-romanovs-1968719

http://i2.dailyrecord.co.uk/incoming/article1968713.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Hearts-fan-Stan-Thomson-shows-off-his-massive-Romanov-tattoo-1968713.jpg

Haymarket Terrace. I guess BDO have a few offices? They just recently moved into our building (pre-spending all the money they'll rake in from underselling the value of Heart's property?)

Celtic are closing in on a second summer signing, with Netherlands Under-21 defender Virgil van Dijk in Glasgow for talks and a medical on Thursday.
...
"I am a defender who likes to play football, not a defender who plays the long ball all the time."

He'll learn.

I guess BDO have a few offices?
Oh no, just me being a massive fud and getting BDO and KPMG mixed up.

I love that Scott Brown picture. With all the shite the Green Brigade are taking over setting off flares, it seems an odd move to have the club's official kit launch picture featuring the club's prime wind-up merchant in his trademark wind-up move standing in the middle of green smoke.

Celtic got Cliftonville for the first CL qualifier. I can't believe Europe starts in three weeks.

UEFA Europa League second qualifying round

Hibernian vs Drogheda United or Malmo FF
St Johnstone vs Crusaders or Rosenborg

Could have been worse but i could have done without the either/or so I can price an away trip.

Just book for the Rosenborg one, most likely a winner* and Trondheim probably 100 x nicer than Belfast (have been to neither).

* don't look at my bet365 account if you want to believe this, I probably couldn't predict a place in a two-horse race on current showing.

I have at least one pal who is going straight to booking for Trondheim, though he now lives in Helsinki so has more of an interest in not having to go to Belfast.

Thankfully that's the Brittain saga over and done with.

Reading this thread title in the voice of Georgio moroder atm

The four divisions in the SPFL are likely to be rebranded as the Premiership, Championship, League One and League Two in the coming days when a title sponsor will also be sought.

Where do they get their ideas??

Not an altogether bad idea; harmonising the names of the leagues with their English equivalents could make it an easier sell to sponsors.

I think I'm just annoyed that I won't be able to mock curtsy and say "oh the premiership" in a lah-dee-dah voice any more

The premiership is now the premier league so if they were attempting to mirror England they fucked up. Not like them tbh.

I am on holiday and am resisting buying a Daily Record. Have Celtic sold Wanyama or Hooper yet?

Not yet, no. Want me to text you if anything exciting happens?

Aye go for it. I'll let you decide what counts as exciting :)

I am currently watching a bunch of mostly Scottish clowns making tits of themselves attempting to win a bottle of free booze in an "adult game show" - they are all wearing all inclusive wristbands and can therefore drink themselves dead without the humiliation.

Wha's like us, indeed.

Surprised by this tbh http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20130630/danny-stays-a-jambo_2241384_3223983

Our squad seems to be coming together fairly well - was pleased with the signing of Wotherspoon today. We're probably nearly there, an extra striker and defender, maybe another midfielder and I expect we'll be done.

Also, I really like this season's home kit. The photo, however, is fairly standard Saints PR.

http://www.perthstjohnstonefc.co.uk/uploads/newkit28jun.jpg

Neil Doncaster announced as boss of SPFL

Hooray! oh, no, wait...

Hah, yup.

f.a.o. onimo, I decided that Rogne to Wigan wasn't worth a text, though it's nice to see their physio taking on a new challenge now he's done supergluing Shaun's hamstrings back together again.

Sad to lose Rogne tbh. Dunno why Lennon didn't rate him.

Lol @ Longmuir challenging Doncaster for a job he opposed the existence of.

St Mirren are SPL?

Yes.

tbh you shouldn't take that from me. expecting roundhouse kicks of abuse stat

Champions League starts for us tonight. Fuckin ridiculous. Fitba should start in mid August.

I was all lol Cliftonwho about the draw but having seen one of Celtic's pre-season matches and read reports of the others I'd take score draw right now.

I have not renewed my season ticket this year. I am feeling surprisingly guilty about this, like it's my fault they can't keep Sami in razors.

I'm out again for this year due to not having any money, and genuinely a bit worried about Cliftonville tonight, I've watched two of our pre-season matches and am proper worried. Usually pre-season matches are a bit "who cares?" but when we're starting the season this early, we need to look like we've at least got something right.

Anyone else trying to watch the bbc stream? It seems to be stuck on a map of orkney with no sound, for some reason..

I'm watching it on actual telly. It's a bit scary, tbh, I'd rather be looking at a nice picture of Orkney.

Naturally, I have made them score by the power of negative thinking.

twice! (refreshing the page did the trick)

No negative thinking about Samaras though - I fucking love the big hairy lummox. Rest of them, not so much.

Pass marks for everyone who isn't at centre hoff so far imo.

Poor Hibs are 2-0 down to Malmo already.

And St Johnstone go up up away to Rosenborg.

Delighted we're 1-0 up but it's really not making me feel any better about the fact I'm not there.

up up away is a very pleasing typo, btw.

Incredible! Can't wait for the home leg, really hope it doesn't all go horribly wrong.

"Unfortunately Maurice Malpas is on holiday and I don't want to call him on the beach to give him his jotters."

Farewell Tel, don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out. Absolutely no idea who the next choice should be, personally I think we should be punching at our weight and looking for a younger promising manager rather than the journeymen we seem to have saddled ourselves with - but then Pat Fenlon didn't exactly work out that way either. We need to be making a long term appointment and living with it; I get that Tel was supposed to be that, a stabilizing appointment to kick off from, but we need to be realistic here. Getting straight back out of Div 1 is not going to happen and I'd like to think going straight through it isn't going to happen either - so set up a young team and play them as a unit. We used to do that.

Kenny Miller was last century.

Kenny Miller was last century.

rejected HMHB titles

Ian Murray fits the bill, no? Young manager, knows the league inside out, on a part time club's salary...

Ian Murray exactly the sort of guy I had in mind, I hadn't realised he was managing these days.

Doing well, too!

Aye, he'd be a decent shout. I'm fully expecting it to be, I dunno, Danny Lennon or Kenny Shiels or someone.

Murray current favourite but Stuart McCall or the return of Big Eck close behind in the betting.

Return Of The Eck (Oh my God)

Stuart McCall surely just because he's worked with Leanne Dempster before. Can't see him dropping down a league. Eck would be lolsome.

Can't see him dropping down a league

I'd have said that about everyone who joined Sevco - except then it was three leagues. Second tier Hibs may still pay more than Motherwell.

tbf, I didn't think they'd sack Butcher so wtf do I know?

Congratulations to Hearts who are officially no longer in administration.

I still miss Vlad, mind...

This is Tony Watt's new leg:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bp3DtjvCMAESkFP.jpg

Jaysus that is horrible.

eck said he could never go back to manage a Scottish club as it would be a stepdown from Rangers

tasty opening salvo in the Bankrupts and Fuckups Invitational Tourney- we visit ibrox on opening day, then a derby at tynecastle and falkirk a fortnight after

I fully expect that run of games to have everyone pointing out that BFIT is the competition to watch despite it featuring bankrupts and fuckups.

In dull underwhelming news: John Collins gets the standing next to the manager and pointing job at Celtic.

Yeah first thing my mate said was it had to be a fix to sell tv rights.

Wonder if Collins will go into his first training session topless again...

Wonder if Collins will remember this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMeYPir9ZhA

hahaha even if he does I hadn't. So great.

Is Sol Bamba the first former Dunfermline player to play in the World Cup?

Have the commentators mentioned his Dunfermline credentials in the same way we get "fans at home will remember him from that half-season he had at Fulham in 2006" shite we get for anyone who has ever troubled English football?

It's next season already!

Celtic will face Iceland's KR Reykjavik in Champions League qualifying round two, after the draw was made in Nyon.

Aberdeen will take on Daugava Riga of Latvia in the first round of qualifying in the Europa League. If the Dons win that tie they take on FC Groningen of the Netherlands in round two.

Motherwell face Iceland's Stjarnan or Bangor City of Wales in Europa League qualifying round two, St Johnstone take on Luzern of Switzerland.

RIP David Taylor

Stubbs. Hmm.

is he going to be given money to spend? in hindsight it seems crazy to allow butcher time to sack half the squad before getting rid of him

Of course not, that would suggest a plan.

*nods solemnly*

i understand

I have no words.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/gary-ralston-celtic-should-honour-3773982

lol that one was a step too far even for kickback bammers

It's an interesting tack to take - let's suggest out of the blue that Celtic do something ludicrous that they haven't suggested and no-one has asked for, because they'll look like a terrible man for the British Army hating if they then don't do the thing they were never going to do in the first place, the bastards </paranoia>

well i for one am furious that we've spent a hundred years denied possession of a trophy that we in no sense won

Do you want our title from 1986 while we're at it?

zing!

Gauld to Lisbon is a great move imo

Indeed.

The Scotland Under-21 international, 18, has agreed a six-year contract with the Portuguese club, which includes a 60m euro (£48m) buy-out clause.

!!

In the day's big match, Dundee beat Man City 2-0. :)

time to start an Unofficial English Premier League Champion contest.

Ha, aye. I notice Germany's first game as reigning World Cup holders starts with a game against Scotland in September, so we can go about getting our Unofficial World Champion title back for that an' all.

Time for a new thread? Aberdeen have already played a qualifying round in Europe (thumping Daugava Riga 8-0 on aggregate, which makes Daugava Riga the Latvian Hibs, I think?), and Celtic kick off on Tuesday night in Iceland.

Any decent quotes from the season, or shall we just go with a piss-take of the supposed strength of the Championship? Some hack must've said something quoteworthy about that, but my dedication to laughing at them (except Keith Jackson) has mostly worn off now so I've probably missed it.

Definitely time for a new thread, struggling to suggest a title quote.

Perhaps a quote from Strachan's "We've got no morals" rant if anyone can find it?

"We don’t have any morals in football, let’s get that right. We have none.

"Because the whole of the years I’ve played football, there have been wife batterers, drunken driving incidents, infidelity, there have been Eric Cantona jumping in the crowd and kung-fuing somebody in the chest and the clubs stand by them.

"And the supporters themselves, when these guys come back, they stand up and applaud them on the pitch.

"So don’t anybody start talking about morals, because we don’t have any in football.”

That last sentence might do us?

Yep.

"Don’t anybody start talking about morals, because we don’t have any in football" - the rolling Scottish football thread, season 2014/15

gtf with yer two threads at the top of SNA

I'm about to bump the Scotland international one too. Run! Hide!

It's OK, I'm away down the pub now. Which is a perfect and fitting end to a season of Scottish football iyam

fair, fair