Tonight I was asked why they didn’t change the logo when they made the “lady Ghostbusters” movie, so that the ghost in the logo “has boobs.” SMDH
― a neon light ablaze in this green smoky haze (morrisp), Saturday, 20 October 2018 03:48 (five years ago) link
Me, to 5yo daughter: You're so cute!Her: That's a common opinion.
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Saturday, 20 October 2018 07:18 (five years ago) link
3 year old: '[baby brother] snatched my toy ON PURPOSE. He needs to go to prison!'me: 'we don't put babies in prison.'3yo: 'they do in AMERICA'(me in very Alan Partridge voice: 'er, I was probably making a point about something else there')
― kinder, Saturday, 20 October 2018 14:31 (five years ago) link
lol
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 20 October 2018 17:30 (five years ago) link
whoa!
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 21:05 (five years ago) link
My 4 year old is fast becoming an expert with the ol’ f-bomb (obv because he’s learning from the experts). Leaving a store yesterday evening:"Fuckin Christ it's a 'lectric door!"
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 21:07 (five years ago) link
:)
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 23:55 (five years ago) link
hahaha it would make my day to hear that out at the supermarket
― kinder, Thursday, 25 October 2018 08:35 (five years ago) link
HEY WHATS FOR DINNER COWPOO SIR IT IS THE FRENCH WAY— Kids Write Jokes (@KidsWriteJokes) October 28, 2018
― mark s, Tuesday, 30 October 2018 12:25 (five years ago) link
ok thats p great
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 30 October 2018 23:47 (five years ago) link
Best punchline ever, I will be stealing that
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 31 October 2018 01:35 (five years ago) link
it's like the ending to a Samuel Johnson anecdote
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 31 October 2018 01:36 (five years ago) link
5yo daughter has been treating me with her toy doctor's kit: so far I have been treated for "goose bladder", "savage earlobe" and the dreaded "cushion problem".
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 13 November 2018 09:22 (five years ago) link
three great band names right there imo
― the Stanley Kubrick of testicular torsion (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 13 November 2018 09:35 (five years ago) link
just remembered the toast my london-bred niece (11) invented last night -- four of us (her, her parents, me) sitting eating thai and overlooking the hastings sea-front as a police car went back and forth below us
"to the FILTH! we ain't done nuffink"
― mark s, Sunday, 18 November 2018 14:37 (five years ago) link
yessss t1lst3r :D
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 18 November 2018 14:39 (five years ago) link
just remembered the toast my london-bred niece (11) invented last night -- four of us (her, her parents, me) sitting eating thai and overlooking the hastings sea-front as a police car went back and forth below us"to the FILTH! we ain't done nuffink"
― gbx, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 00:46 (five years ago) link
Magical.
Also, just saw this one:
I told my daughter showing her chewed up food to her brother in public is gross and she goes 'well I'm not here for the people'— Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed) November 19, 2018
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 20 November 2018 06:18 (five years ago) link
had a very confusing discussion about smoking and death with the 4-year-old yesterday in which she told me that when you die your body turns hard and then people give your bones to dogs
― na (NA), Tuesday, 20 November 2018 15:40 (five years ago) link
son's 4th birthday. the day before, he was being a huge brat so we were talking about what happens if birthdays are cancelled: presents go back to the shop, no cake and you stay 3 forever.him: so... that means I won't ever die.Somehow he always manages to win the argument!
― kinder, Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:53 (five years ago) link
lol that is outstanding
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 2 December 2018 19:16 (five years ago) link
flawless victory
― crispy fun in a bun (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 2 December 2018 20:06 (five years ago) link
overplayed your hand, tbh
― A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 2 December 2018 20:26 (five years ago) link
yeah I know! He's frighteningly good at assimilating new information with stuff he learned ages ago and drawing logical conclusions. Then asking relevant questions.
― kinder, Sunday, 2 December 2018 22:29 (five years ago) link
We're reading the Hobbit. We're a bit more than halfway through, at the spiders in Mirkwood.
My 7 year old daughter asks "Why are there no girls in this book?"
― fajita seas, Monday, 3 December 2018 01:08 (five years ago) link
damnalso otm
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 3 December 2018 05:25 (five years ago) link
he always manages to win the argument!
You could have come back with: "No. Even three-year olds can die!" (accompanied by a meaningful look). To which he might retort, you said "you stay 3 forever. Those who live forever do not die. QED, my dear parent." Your rejoinder: "Those who die do not age, my dear child. Once having attained age three, a dead child cannot be remain two, nor yet become four. Hence they remain three forever. Case closed."
After which your child grows up to be a celebrated lawyer.
― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 3 December 2018 05:54 (five years ago) link
frighteningly good at assimilating new information with stuff he learned ages ago and drawing logical conclusions
this is so fun to see, like he's spent time a learning system and now understands it enough to test or exploit it. Last night he was hyper and didn't want to take of his clothes to get his pajamas on; usually we do this by commanding a super hero named 'naked boy' to appear. He wouldn't so I made some dumb joke about transforming into a nakedasaurus and he looked at me deadpan and said "those have been extinct for a really long time".
― joygoat, Monday, 3 December 2018 15:17 (five years ago) link
haha.
― kinder, Monday, 3 December 2018 21:42 (five years ago) link
"How much is that doggy in the window?You've got your own sense of right and wrong!"
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Sunday, 9 December 2018 11:31 (five years ago) link
"what are you thinking about?""nothing""oh come on""fortnite""okay""and before that, football""okay""and before that, spiderman"what a unique flower
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 6 January 2019 12:46 (five years ago) link
― L'assie (Euler), Sunday, 6 January 2019 13:00 (five years ago) link
Ben gave us a permission slip for a field trip to see a play entitled “Nightmare on Puberty Street.” Which we signed. Cut to twenty minutes later and Owen: What is this on my face? Is it acne?Ben: Nightmare on puberty street!
― DJI, Thursday, 10 January 2019 05:48 (five years ago) link
Author, author!
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Thursday, 10 January 2019 05:52 (five years ago) link
omg that sounds like it should be a Legz Akimbo production
― kinder, Thursday, 10 January 2019 12:38 (five years ago) link
4yo, out of nowhere: there are dimensions we don't know aboutus, open-mouthed at our genius/otherwise gifted child: um... What dimensions do you mean?4yo: no, there are some engines* we don't know about. What are dimensions? Are they fun?*new characters from Thomas the Tank Engine that he'd just watched on tv
― kinder, Monday, 14 January 2019 22:20 (five years ago) link
massive lols at that!
― visiting, Monday, 14 January 2019 23:43 (five years ago) link
haha that’s great
― estela, Tuesday, 15 January 2019 00:33 (five years ago) link
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 03:45 (five years ago) link
https://i.imgflip.com/2r6v55.jpg
― ArchCarrier, Tuesday, 15 January 2019 15:38 (five years ago) link
:D
― kinder, Tuesday, 15 January 2019 21:29 (five years ago) link
https://i.imgflip.com/2r8j6j.jpg
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 16 January 2019 01:25 (five years ago) link
That is my favorite thing in ever
― rb (soda), Wednesday, 16 January 2019 01:31 (five years ago) link
so great
― sleeve, Wednesday, 16 January 2019 01:35 (five years ago) link
my latest favorite grand-daughter thing is when she asks for "a glass of water, filled TO THE BRIM"
― sleeve, Wednesday, 16 January 2019 01:36 (five years ago) link
“Do ghosts have wallets?”
― Οὖτις, Sunday, 27 January 2019 22:18 (five years ago) link
🧐
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 27 January 2019 22:38 (five years ago) link
my son just called me a "scallywag"
― Οὖτις, Monday, 28 January 2019 23:41 (five years ago) link
I cosign your son imo
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 January 2019 02:42 (five years ago) link
call him a nincompoop
― kinder, Tuesday, 29 January 2019 18:18 (five years ago) link