yep
― nonsensei (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 15 October 2020 17:31 (four years ago) link
The interrupting cowThe interrupting cow wh...MOOOOOOOOO!Never fails.
― Madchen, Thursday, 15 October 2020 17:50 (four years ago) link
sam & janet evening is v goodalso i am an old
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 15 October 2020 17:53 (four years ago) link
Me and 6yo were reading Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator and got to the part where one of the grandmothers takes too many age reversing pills and disappears
Son: Where did she go?
Me: She vanished because she hasn't been born yet.
Son: She's back in her mama's tummy. But her mama must be dead. So she will be born in a cemetery. Inside a coffin. And she will have to dig her way out of a grave with baby hands.
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 15 October 2020 17:59 (four years ago) link
Son has a great future ahead as a D&D DM.
― (show hidden tics) (WmC), Thursday, 15 October 2020 18:05 (four years ago) link
sorry but "Shelby Comin' Round the Mountain" just made me lol.
― visiting, Thursday, 15 October 2020 18:07 (four years ago) link
the set-up for a knock knock joke isn't to set us a-dreamin of the days when ppl pounded on peephole-free doors -- as ymp says, even when this was an irl thing it didn't work the jokescript implies. it's simply to announce EXTREMELY SILLY PUN INCOMING, and to let you calibrate your comedy timing and rhythm against the anticipation of the person who's said "hit me with it"
― mark s, Thursday, 15 October 2020 18:36 (four years ago) link
Opal lives Amelia Bedelia. We have a whole thing where whenever I hear a phrase like “cut the deck of cards”I say “Opal! What would Amelia Bedelia do if you have a deck of cards and you ask her to cut the deck?” And she goes “she’d actually cut the deck!”
― dan selzer, Friday, 16 October 2020 01:24 (four years ago) link
A blunt opinion regarding St. Patrick from a seven-year-old: "He was dumb. Snakes are cool."
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Friday, 16 October 2020 02:35 (four years ago) link
2yo after sitting on potty: Mummy, this actually dream, isn't it
― kinder, Friday, 16 October 2020 09:57 (four years ago) link
Oh I loved Amelia Bedelia so much and I remember once in a while finding them confusing (specif remember when I didn't know the expression "draw the drapes") but I knew most of them! Maybe they're just getting a little out of date.
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Friday, 16 October 2020 15:20 (four years ago) link
maybe i tried to introduce them too young.
― na (NA), Friday, 16 October 2020 15:25 (four years ago) link
Tbh I think the same book as "draw the drapes" also had "dress the chicken" and really neither of those are in wide use anymore, probably? See also, "sponge cake" which...idk? Has the GBBO saved sponge cake?
― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Friday, 16 October 2020 15:44 (four years ago) link
The UK still draws the *curtains* and definitely has sponge cake. I remember getting Amelia Bedelia from the library as a kid and it being how I learned that one could dress a chicken so maybe it should be considered an educational text.
― Madchen, Friday, 16 October 2020 16:27 (four years ago) link
What helped us probably is we read some new series first. Where she’s a young girl. But I don’t remember it. We definitely have to explain a lot of the phrases. Even things like “stealing bases” and “running home” don’t make much sense if you’ve never played baseball!
― dan selzer, Saturday, 17 October 2020 01:57 (four years ago) link
Opal asked me to read the rainbow fairy book then asked me to find a toy in her closet. I said you want me to both of this things and she said “there’s plenty of time daddy. Plenty of time to do everything because the world is never ending”
― dan selzer, Tuesday, 20 October 2020 12:57 (four years ago) link
opal not necessarily otm sadly
― mark s, Tuesday, 20 October 2020 14:37 (four years ago) link
I have to try VERY hard to not make my usual cynical "jokes" about how the world is gonna end any day now.
― dan selzer, Tuesday, 20 October 2020 16:19 (four years ago) link
The world is pretty durable. Seen on a geological time scale, it's been through quite a lot and is still here.
Civilization, human life, and the biome, not so much.
― they see me lollin' (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 20 October 2020 16:29 (four years ago) link
“You know what’s cooler than magic? Science is cooler than magic. Science is like a kind of magic.”
― dan selzer, Thursday, 22 October 2020 12:26 (four years ago) link
my son keeps calling people “bro” and “bruv”he also swears like a sailorapparently he has seen at least one episode of sex education at someone’s househe is 11what is going on
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 22 October 2020 15:57 (four years ago) link
sounds like he's just a really cool guy
― superdeep borehole (harbl), Thursday, 22 October 2020 15:59 (four years ago) link
yeah he is way cooler than i was, or am now. speaking of sex education he gives people advice on their “relationships” at school. i don’t have any template to fit this into. my whole life has been quintessential “teacher pleaser” and he’s just like, school sucks, all i want to do is play basketball and talk to girls. if i was in his grade at school i’d probably feel inadequate.
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 22 October 2020 16:04 (four years ago) link
(I somehow missed this whole borad. Will be posting more.)
A few years ago my son got a plush Kangaroo with a baby in the pouch.
Him, holding the mom up:"This is Kanga."
Me:"Aww, and is the other one Roo?"
Him: "No, Sebatchi."
― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 29 October 2020 23:37 (four years ago) link
hahaha
― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Friday, 30 October 2020 02:43 (four years ago) link
lol at everything, this thread is a reliable joy
― estela, Friday, 30 October 2020 04:28 (four years ago) link
My kid, who is just learning to read, watches a handful of Minecraft youtubers to learn how to do stuff in the game, so he’s picked up some of their internet vocabulary and delivery.This morning, he’s on the couch playing Minecraft: “M.O.G!”Me: “what?”Him, still playing: “What the?! M.O.G!”Me: ohhh...Lol
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:47 (four years ago) link
last weekend i was in canterbury w my son. on the high street there was a five guys, a subway and a nando’s right next to each other. he saw them and pulled at my arm.“five guys. subway!” voice rising in intensity “nando’s! all in a row!!” he paused to take it in. then very seriously: “that hits hard.”
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 31 October 2020 14:19 (four years ago) link
Hahaha!
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Saturday, 31 October 2020 15:38 (four years ago) link
kid: can i watch a screen nowme: you can in 15 minuteskid: 15 minutes?! but that's like AN HOUR!
― na (NA), Monday, 2 November 2020 19:47 (three years ago) link
perfect
― DJI, Monday, 2 November 2020 20:14 (three years ago) link
tell them they are allowed to watch the screen for 15 minutes
― superdeep borehole (harbl), Monday, 2 November 2020 20:15 (three years ago) link
This isn't really for this thread, but my 3.5-yr-old was watching "Mulan" (the OG animated film) and asked what "honor" means. It's one of the few times I've been flummoxed when it comes to explaining something to a kid (I'm not even sure I could define it for an adult!).
― Tim Simms (morrisp), Monday, 2 November 2020 20:20 (three years ago) link
Ha, I hit a similar roadblock a few days ago trying to define the word "concept" for my 8-yr-old -- we were playing 20 questions while hiking and she was looking for clarification about choosing a non-physical thing to make me guess.
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Monday, 2 November 2020 20:55 (three years ago) link
My wife, cuddling with our daughter: “Remember, you can be anything you want to be... anything at all.”Daughter: “I want to be a car.”
― Tim Simms (morrisp), Sunday, 8 November 2020 23:47 (three years ago) link
lol
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 9 November 2020 00:19 (three years ago) link
I mentioned to F the other day that one of his favourite TV doctors is non-binary, and we had a chat about what that means. A few days later, he spent some of his piggy bank money on a fox toy. I asked if it was a boy or a girl and he went, “Drumroll please.............................. it’s not a boy or a girl, it’s a they!”“Ah, right, so what’s their name?”“Their name is THEY.”So now he has a cuddly fox called They.
― Madchen, Monday, 9 November 2020 07:22 (three years ago) link
Which TV doctor?
― peace, man, Monday, 9 November 2020 12:18 (three years ago) link
Doctor Fox
― kinder, Monday, 9 November 2020 12:30 (three years ago) link
Ha! Dr Ronx from Operation Ouch.
― Madchen, Monday, 9 November 2020 16:30 (three years ago) link
Thanks. Just watched a clip and it seems like a cool show.
― peace, man, Monday, 9 November 2020 16:58 (three years ago) link
dr ronx is the best!
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 9 November 2020 17:39 (three years ago) link
Dr Ronx really is the best. Operation Ouch is one of a very small handful of kids’ programmes I genuinely enjoy watching.
― Madchen, Monday, 9 November 2020 19:05 (three years ago) link
"A box? With a boxing glove on a spring? And it hits you in the face when you open it? That's a classic booby trap"
― joygoat, Thursday, 12 November 2020 16:50 (three years ago) link
otm
― na (NA), Thursday, 12 November 2020 17:24 (three years ago) link
“Hey, what does ‘granite’ mean?”Granite? It’s a kind of rock.“No, the other kind of ‘granite’ – like, ‘don’t take me for granite.’”Oh, granted – that means “given.” To take something for granted means you don’t appreciate—(ignoring me) “Hey, I’ve got a pun for you: what did one wall say to the other wall?”Uh... I’ll meet you at the corner?“No – don’t take me for ‘granite’!”
― it's AG in your faaaace.... (morrisp), Wednesday, 18 November 2020 03:54 (three years ago) link
lmao
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 18 November 2020 04:01 (three years ago) link
Actual lol
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 24 November 2020 00:35 (three years ago) link
Was explaining something regarding the origin of humans to my 7 year old when my 4 year old gives her theory:"First there were dinosaurs, then there were pirates, then there were dragons, then there were doctors, then there was us"I was unable to get any explanation for the pirates, but the doctors were there before us because "we all used to be babies and you need doctors for babies to be born"― silverfish, Tuesday, August 18, 2020 10:27 AM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink
"First there were dinosaurs, then there were pirates, then there were dragons, then there were doctors, then there was us"
I was unable to get any explanation for the pirates, but the doctors were there before us because "we all used to be babies and you need doctors for babies to be born"
― silverfish, Tuesday, August 18, 2020 10:27 AM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink
I guess my daughter must have learned something about evolution somewhere because a couple of days ago she asked me if monkeys fed us bananas when all humans were still babies.
― silverfish, Thursday, 3 December 2020 19:27 (three years ago) link
My son made up a Christmas song:
Christmas vacation, Christmas vacation/Spitting on the gods of our nation
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 3 December 2020 19:55 (three years ago) link