hahaha
― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Friday, 30 October 2020 02:43 (three years ago) link
lol at everything, this thread is a reliable joy
― estela, Friday, 30 October 2020 04:28 (three years ago) link
My kid, who is just learning to read, watches a handful of Minecraft youtubers to learn how to do stuff in the game, so he’s picked up some of their internet vocabulary and delivery.This morning, he’s on the couch playing Minecraft: “M.O.G!”Me: “what?”Him, still playing: “What the?! M.O.G!”Me: ohhh...Lol
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Saturday, 31 October 2020 12:47 (three years ago) link
last weekend i was in canterbury w my son. on the high street there was a five guys, a subway and a nando’s right next to each other. he saw them and pulled at my arm.“five guys. subway!” voice rising in intensity “nando’s! all in a row!!” he paused to take it in. then very seriously: “that hits hard.”
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 31 October 2020 14:19 (three years ago) link
Hahaha!
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Saturday, 31 October 2020 15:38 (three years ago) link
kid: can i watch a screen nowme: you can in 15 minuteskid: 15 minutes?! but that's like AN HOUR!
― na (NA), Monday, 2 November 2020 19:47 (three years ago) link
perfect
― DJI, Monday, 2 November 2020 20:14 (three years ago) link
tell them they are allowed to watch the screen for 15 minutes
― superdeep borehole (harbl), Monday, 2 November 2020 20:15 (three years ago) link
This isn't really for this thread, but my 3.5-yr-old was watching "Mulan" (the OG animated film) and asked what "honor" means. It's one of the few times I've been flummoxed when it comes to explaining something to a kid (I'm not even sure I could define it for an adult!).
― Tim Simms (morrisp), Monday, 2 November 2020 20:20 (three years ago) link
Ha, I hit a similar roadblock a few days ago trying to define the word "concept" for my 8-yr-old -- we were playing 20 questions while hiking and she was looking for clarification about choosing a non-physical thing to make me guess.
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Monday, 2 November 2020 20:55 (three years ago) link
My wife, cuddling with our daughter: “Remember, you can be anything you want to be... anything at all.”Daughter: “I want to be a car.”
― Tim Simms (morrisp), Sunday, 8 November 2020 23:47 (three years ago) link
lol
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 9 November 2020 00:19 (three years ago) link
I mentioned to F the other day that one of his favourite TV doctors is non-binary, and we had a chat about what that means. A few days later, he spent some of his piggy bank money on a fox toy. I asked if it was a boy or a girl and he went, “Drumroll please.............................. it’s not a boy or a girl, it’s a they!”“Ah, right, so what’s their name?”“Their name is THEY.”So now he has a cuddly fox called They.
― Madchen, Monday, 9 November 2020 07:22 (three years ago) link
Which TV doctor?
― peace, man, Monday, 9 November 2020 12:18 (three years ago) link
Doctor Fox
― kinder, Monday, 9 November 2020 12:30 (three years ago) link
Ha! Dr Ronx from Operation Ouch.
― Madchen, Monday, 9 November 2020 16:30 (three years ago) link
Thanks. Just watched a clip and it seems like a cool show.
― peace, man, Monday, 9 November 2020 16:58 (three years ago) link
dr ronx is the best!
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 9 November 2020 17:39 (three years ago) link
Dr Ronx really is the best. Operation Ouch is one of a very small handful of kids’ programmes I genuinely enjoy watching.
― Madchen, Monday, 9 November 2020 19:05 (three years ago) link
"A box? With a boxing glove on a spring? And it hits you in the face when you open it? That's a classic booby trap"
― joygoat, Thursday, 12 November 2020 16:50 (three years ago) link
otm
― na (NA), Thursday, 12 November 2020 17:24 (three years ago) link
“Hey, what does ‘granite’ mean?”Granite? It’s a kind of rock.“No, the other kind of ‘granite’ – like, ‘don’t take me for granite.’”Oh, granted – that means “given.” To take something for granted means you don’t appreciate—(ignoring me) “Hey, I’ve got a pun for you: what did one wall say to the other wall?”Uh... I’ll meet you at the corner?“No – don’t take me for ‘granite’!”
― it's AG in your faaaace.... (morrisp), Wednesday, 18 November 2020 03:54 (three years ago) link
lmao
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 18 November 2020 04:01 (three years ago) link
Actual lol
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 24 November 2020 00:35 (three years ago) link
Was explaining something regarding the origin of humans to my 7 year old when my 4 year old gives her theory:"First there were dinosaurs, then there were pirates, then there were dragons, then there were doctors, then there was us"I was unable to get any explanation for the pirates, but the doctors were there before us because "we all used to be babies and you need doctors for babies to be born"― silverfish, Tuesday, August 18, 2020 10:27 AM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink
"First there were dinosaurs, then there were pirates, then there were dragons, then there were doctors, then there was us"
I was unable to get any explanation for the pirates, but the doctors were there before us because "we all used to be babies and you need doctors for babies to be born"
― silverfish, Tuesday, August 18, 2020 10:27 AM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink
I guess my daughter must have learned something about evolution somewhere because a couple of days ago she asked me if monkeys fed us bananas when all humans were still babies.
― silverfish, Thursday, 3 December 2020 19:27 (three years ago) link
My son made up a Christmas song:
Christmas vacation, Christmas vacation/Spitting on the gods of our nation
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 3 December 2020 19:55 (three years ago) link
― is right unfortunately (silby), Thursday, 3 December 2020 19:57 (three years ago) link
I'd buy that 7"
― dan selzer, Thursday, 3 December 2020 21:11 (three years ago) link
This morning Opal said she's the opposite of a baguette, because she's hard on the inside (her bones) and soft on the outside (her skin).
― dan selzer, Thursday, 3 December 2020 21:12 (three years ago) link
y'all have smart kids
― is right unfortunately (silby), Thursday, 3 December 2020 21:44 (three years ago) link
you better believe it
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 3 December 2020 21:56 (three years ago) link
"'Variety' is a gene, right?"Huh? "Yeah, you know... 'Variety' is a gene?"I don't... what?"A gene!"A gene? Like... the things in your DNA?"No, a gene you can watch!"A gene you can watch?"Yeah - I was searching for some, but couldn't find any. A kind of show... I don't know how to pronounce it!"Ohhh... a GENRE.
(he's into the concept of 'variety shows' lately, via his Muppet interests.)
― wet tip hen ax (egg drop mix) (morrisp), Tuesday, 8 December 2020 03:14 (three years ago) link
all the kids are into variety shows these days
― Daniel_Rf, Tuesday, 8 December 2020 11:06 (three years ago) link
kid interpreted the 'pitch' in the phrase 'pitch black' to mean very or extremely, so now he describes things as 'pitch loud' or 'pitch cold'
opening up our box of seasonal christmas decorations has reintroduced him to this stupid singing christmas dog toy that one of his grandmothers got him a few years ago. It looks slightly different but the goddamn song is the same as this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bArnBDsnb1w
Anyway yesterday he asked us if we could only pick one to listen to, would we pick the animatronic dog, or the Grateful Dead? He argued for the dog because the Dead's catalog is too slow and the songs are too long.
― joygoat, Tuesday, 8 December 2020 14:38 (three years ago) link
kid otm
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 8 December 2020 14:42 (three years ago) link
As I uncorked a bottle of wine: “You’ve had that all this time?!”Huh? I just got it last week.“But it says ‘2018’...”
― good karma, my aesthetic (morrisp), Friday, 11 December 2020 01:24 (three years ago) link
Our 4 year old apparently thinks the lyrics to her christmas nativity song are "It was on a starry night, when the hills were bright, ugly sleeping, sleeping calm and still".
― ledge, Friday, 11 December 2020 09:11 (three years ago) link
My five year was talking about Christmas and anticipating opening her presents on Christmas morning and then suddenly says: "I hope Santa doesn't get Covid19"
― silverfish, Friday, 11 December 2020 16:12 (three years ago) link
From a friend's 8 yr old:
Today, when she got home from the dentist.Me: How did the laughing gas go?Child: I met Kasey Musgraves.
― change display name (Jordan), Friday, 11 December 2020 17:45 (three years ago) link
lmao asked & answered
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 11 December 2020 18:18 (three years ago) link
6yo and his dad were talking about family trees. 6yo: I'll never forget you, daddydad: aww6yo: because I'll write you down on a piece of paper
― kinder, Saturday, 19 December 2020 09:19 (three years ago) link
Opal's been a nightmare, and fighting bedtime, though tonight she did a bit of cute stalling.
Called me back into her room and said
"Daddy, where is starry?"
who's starry?
"The star shape on my ceiling that I stare at every night"
This is the first we've heard of this. I look up, see nothing there.
"Where is starry my star friend, she's my best friend"
I don't know, maybe it's too cloudy.
"Maybe she's sleeping!"
Yes, that's a good guess, she's probably sleeping.
"No Daddy, she's not sleeping...stars are nocturnal"
― dan selzer, Sunday, 20 December 2020 05:31 (three years ago) link
A few days ago she said looking for shapes in the clouds is looking for "cloud constellations" and today she was making out shapes in the snow which are, you guessed it, "snow constellations"
― dan selzer, Sunday, 20 December 2020 05:32 (three years ago) link
maybe she is an ilxor!
― cerebral halsey (rip van wanko), Sunday, 20 December 2020 06:13 (three years ago) link
> constellations
Hadn't really noticed the stella = star part of this before, otherwise she'd be spot on.
― koogs, Sunday, 20 December 2020 06:41 (three years ago) link
rvw otm
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 20 December 2020 10:14 (three years ago) link
Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand) at 10:41 11 Dec 19last christmas, i pooed in my pantsthe very next day, i peed in my pants
― peace, man, Sunday, 20 December 2020 20:33 (three years ago) link
oh man. i've been thinking about that one a lot, too.
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 20 December 2020 23:49 (three years ago) link
“Daddy—what’s TikTok?”🧔🏻🔫
― Qui-Gon's Noble End (morrisp), Wednesday, 23 December 2020 01:30 (three years ago) link
My sister recently got a new kitten called Buttons. 3-year old niece insists that Buttons "Is not a good name for a cat" and that it should be called Stain instead.
― Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Wednesday, 30 December 2020 12:08 (three years ago) link