medical school

I think we got like ten minutes of a breakdown of "On Old Olympus...", but then they asked to know a bunch of other stuff about all the nerves for the test, so really if you were still having trouble remembering the names of all the nerves you had way bigger issues to deal with. It is still kind of fun to use the "Oh Oh Oh to touch and feel" version, but after a while you just memorize them. I did get some mileage out of Some Say Marry Money But My Brother Says Big Boobs Matter More, though.

oh christ we are getting the super-fun "crazy ER stories" lunch lecture right now and it is BRUTAL

do not ever burn yrself with hydrofluoric acid

or fall and land directly on a CURTAIN ROD in YOUR MOUTH

also unbelievable picture of a dude w/a with 40oz bottle of budweiser in his butt

lol caption 'this bud's for you'

Three reasons (of about 10,000) that the medical profession is not for me. Just reading the curtain rod thing made me woozy.

I candy striped one summer and spent most of my two weeks reading books in the nurse's station because I tried to give a man his own urine to drink (I didn't know the urinal thing wasn't a water pitcher!) and also I was kind of useless w/r/t bodily effluvia.

ok lol at that!!

I figure that if I were a radiologist giving one of those "Come match to radiology" talks to med students I would just show a presentation full of foreign object radiographs. They are so hilarious!

Also once when I was volunteering in an ER I saw a dude come in complaining that somehow he had fallen and a foreign object had gotten stuck up his butt, somehow, and I was so excited that people actually do try and pretend like they didn't MEAN to put that thing in their butt that I almost broke out laughing.

omg ok this is dang unbelievable, an ED doc here (h3nn) cut a dude's leg off ~at the scene~ of a crazy semi crash with a SAWZALL

the pt in the case above claimed to have ~rolled over in his sleep~ onto the 40oz

Hahaha I love the excuses! They really need to post a sign in the ER saying "Look, we know how that thing got in your butt. Don't bother making up a story. We're going to laugh at you anyway (after you leave)."

Oh the fell on something that went up my butt thing happens all the time. A friend who is a PA once encountered a guy on an ER rotation who came in for rectal bleeding but denied any and all erm . . . butt play until she told him that there would be x-rays at which pt he admitted to pleasuring himself with a broom handle which then broke off. In his butt.

- guy cut his own balls off
- lady pulled her own eyeball out cuz of alcoholic hallucinosis

I am guessing this one was initially reported as a Bathtub Accident:

http://i34.tinypic.com/2e53znp.jpg

~~~~shudder~~~~

Maybe ball dude was the fetish guy I told you about who cut off his dick.

RUBBER DUCK.

...you're the one

we are now onto the penis injury section...

lol at u guy who threaded a shoelace up yr penis such that it tied itself into a knot in YOUR BLADDER

YES

pic of CHEWED THROUGH restraints

OMG

.

.

.

.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????????????

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

didn't want to be restrained anymore, duh

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY THE SHOELACE UP THE PENIS

how else are you going to get a shoelace in yr bladder?

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

pic of beaded necklace that did same was worse imo

Was urethral insertion in that paraphilia poll a while back? Because let's be honest even people who are eating poo kind of get grossed out at the thought of someone shoving stuff up their peehole.

wait has more than one person done this? Jesus.

Ball dude was briefly lolled at on ILX (unless there's another one). He did it as a bet.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Sky-News-Archive/Article/200806413297624

Oh I'm sure it's another guy. More ball cutters in this world then you might think.

Paraphilia poll still going. There is currently a revised edition on TMI.

all of these stories were from the local ED, so yeah, more than one ball cutter out there

Police revealed he has a history of mental problems.

Wld never have guessed

btw am now trying to work out the actual mechanics of shoving a shoelace all the way up a urethra. I am also eating lunch. I love this stuff. I want to go to medical school.

OK, maybe not really. I just want to go for all the good parts.

"good" parts

Yeah! This is the good stuff imo.

To be honest I like learning about most medical stuff I just don't think I'd have the discipline to acutally, you know, go to medical school.

It is easier to learn stuff in excruciating detail when it is really really interesting, and most of what you have to learn in medical school is really really interesting. (Not all of it, and that stuff...that can get pretty brutal). And once you get to 3rd year then you are learning based on actual patients, and that is by all accounts 100x more interesting.

wow i want to be an ER doctor!

why am i still reading this thread ;_;

yeah, i'm back to wanting to be an ER doc (which was the plan when i came in)

I think that would be so interesting. DO IT.

I had the most badass prof for anat & phys, old retired guy who taught with his wife & who had been an ER doc in Detroit. Every couple weeks he'd give us some body horror slideshows (w/proper slides, fuck a .ppt) of photos from the Detroit ER. Most memorable was photo of a dude w/a giant hydrocele (meaning his nutsack was a big ole water balloon), nuts almost down to his knees.

He'd grown up in Bolivia, so he had great photos from there too (just of regular things, like llamas to illustrate how oxygen works at different elevations, not crazy people who'd stabbed themselves on PCP). He told us that when he went to medical school there, the instructor was doing a lecture on tonsillectomies, and asked if anyone needed their tonsils out. My prof said he did, so in front of the whole class, he had his tonsils out without anaesthesia. *_*

@_@

He had a hard time saying American-style 'R's, so whenever he had to talk about iron he'd sigh and say, "Irrrr-on, you know, EFF EE."

Bottles up the butt is an old, old story: friend's late dad who served in WWII hospitals in London loved telling us how careful a doc had to be removing them because creating a vacuum back there was not the best idea. Actually I think he just liked attention from grossed-out teenaged girls: 'EW EW EW...no, really? How did that come out? EWWWWWW don't! No!'

omg did not consider the vaccuum