Tiger Woods car/life crash

whoops, thought I scanned the page thoroughly

Chinese CGI video looks like it was modeled in GTA. Agree that more of this needs to be shown on American news.

when i watch CGI TIGER i like to pretend it's someone's actual dream that was recorded with a DC MINI

Tiger apologizes for running into that golf club or something similar.

"Hey, it's, uh, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Um, can you please, uh, take your name off your phone. My wife went through my phone. And, uh, may be calling you. If you can, please take your name off that and, um, and what do you call it just have it as a number on the voicemail, just have it as your telephone number. That's it, OK. You gotta do this for me. Huge. Quickly. All right. Bye."

btw the GIS result for "us open green blazer" has some incredibly odd NSFW results on the first page

― Huckabee Jesus lifeline (HI DERE), Tuesday, December 1, 2009 2:33 PM (Yesterday)

haha i'm guessing that it's because the masters is the tournament which awards a green jacket

i would like to lend my Tool Academy expertise here to point out that Jamiee wasn't even the Loud Mouth Tool's girlfriend for most of the season, a couple episodes in his other girlfriend showed up and she got mad and left, so the other girl joined in for the rest of the show.

i wish i had a daytime cable show so i could invite you on as an expert al

Not content with just one hole apparently....

o_0

The existence of Tool Academy is the most unsettling thing about all of this

It was a train wreck ... but if you like train wrecks, hooboy.

"Tiger will do more than any other man in history to change the course of humanity. … He is the Chosen One. He'll have the power to impact nations. Not people. Nations."— Earl Woods, Tiger's father

from here

i wish i had a daytime cable show so i could invite you on as an expert al

― max, Wednesday, December 2, 2009 12:55 PM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha it could be like the KITH sketch that's a faux-documentary about an escape artist, and when one of the talking heads is onscreen the caption that flashes up is "An old guy who used to watch a lot of TV"

http://www.e85fuel.com/news/2008/060908_escalade_release/2009-cadillac-escalade.jpg
would smash

would pimp
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/kenjuggle3/pimpride.jpg

His parents pioneered the racial integration of a California suburb, and on his first day in kindergarten some older boys threw rocks at him and called him "nigger" and "monkey."

whoa! tough kindergarten

and he pelted the rocks with his golf clubs this was how he acquired his skills?

I don't think throwing golf clubs at rocks makes you a good golfer.

doesn't make you a good driver/husband either, it turned out

Imagine I just posted a screenshot from CBBC's "Hedz" where Tiger Woods defends Billie by throwing golf clubs at things, but unfortunately it hits her head instead.

Your latest morning development, or not.

Ochocinco weighs in

http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?drop&ref=mb#/video/video.php?v=792505380802&ref=nf

Tiger Woods was found shoeless and snoring in the street when neighbors came upon him in the moments after Woods crashed his SUV outside his Florida mansion, according to an interview the Florida Highway Patrol recorded at the scene.

http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4712889

Hahah what

http://www.newser.com/story/75461/rachel-uchitel-had-crazy-ambien-sex-with-tiger.html

hahahahahahahahahahaha

I don't know why but even though I knew what thread I was on, I was expecting that to be a bizarre bestiality story

Guess who else is talking about Tiger? Ashley Dupre, aka Eliot Spitzer’s call girl "Kristen." Bizarrely, she decided to vent to the New York Post by text message: “Here you have all these girls accepting gifts, money, trips from Tiger in exchange for sex—all the while knowing he is married. And now they all can't wait to tell their stories in exchange for even more money.” She concludes, “And I was the hooker? At least I kept my mouth shut.”

She was the professional hooker. These others are amateurs.

LOL Ashley OTM

ps: ouch

The Daily Beast's Gerald Posner has learned exclusively that the beleaguered golfer is negotiating an immediate $5 million payout to his wife—and revising her prenup to give her as much as $55 million more to stay with him two more years.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-12-03/new-details-on-tigers-prenup/

"give me one more boy child and then you can go"

btw my favorite part of this story is that tiger managed to piss off jesper parnevik for all eternity. jesper parnevik!

Elin is herself considered a good asset.

glad they put that on the table

``I have lost all respect for him, primarily as a man and a father,'' Parnevik said in the Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet on Thursday from the PGA Tour qualifying tournament in West Palm Beach, Fla. ``It doesn't even feel like it matters what he has done on the golf course. My respect for him as a person is gone. We have been nice to Tiger before, but now he only has himself to blame.

oh shiiiii

2010 season is going to be full-contact

i know right! jesper is like the goofiest dude in golf which is SAYING SOMETHING

lol Ambien sex

sometimes i think very very very few people are equipped with the moral compass to not turn into a total douche when presented with endless wealth and universal fame.

yep

best part of the jesper parnevik story is that he said elin should use a driver next time

man this kinda sucks...and now parnevik is piling on? parnevik??

what a disaster for tiger woods

its personal for him. and hes danish.

PGA Tour is going to be the biggest soap opera on the planet next year, everybody's going to pick sides, it's going to spill over into tournaments -- there will be fisticuffs in the locker rooms on multiple occasions. That's my prediction, you heard it here first.

we can only wait, and hope.

Tiger once again taking people getting into golf to the next level

it creates an interesting dynamic too w/r/t tiger's rival phil mickelson b/c phil's wife was (is?) battling cancer and he's just being a bro, sticking by her, and tiger's off having ambien sex with sexy sociopaths.

All this hate for a playa playing.

if u had told me last year that by december 2009 john daly would be skinny & monogamous and tiger woods would be the tours biggest coozehound i probably would have slapped you

ambien sex wtf do you like fall asleep and have zombie sleepwalk boner sex?

tiger's statement was a bit of a joke...either admit it or don't.

x-post anyone on john daly's twitter? he's replaced booze and drugs and gambling and food with tweets