Cereal - S/D

Granola always screams "this stuff is good for you!"

Word to the wise: this Bulgarian cereal (which I somehow found at my neighborhood grocery) is the worst shit ever:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2063/2371064599_364f27a72a.jpg?v=0

Like sawdust and artificial sweetener.

FROM MY UNFINISHED
DOCTORAL DISSERTATION
ON BREAKFAST CEREALS.
BY DAVE FRYE

- - - -

Although there are tantalizing references to granola in the works of the pre-Socratics, it is by no means certain that the famously lactose-intolerant Pythagoreans had in mind granola in the form of cereal rather than bars. Plato certainly assumed the latter, as should be obvious from his scathing characterization of the Pythagoreans as "charlatans who leave behind them a trail of wrappers." Therefore, it remains fairly safe to say that the modern science of cereal studies began no earlier than with the 1764 publication of Linnaeus's De Cerialibus.

In Linnaeus's rudimentary typology, all cereals were divided into two broad categories: those that float and spill all over the place when you pour the milk in and those that sink and harden into something like cement if you forget to rinse the bowl. Linnaeus's work was greeted with broad enthusiasm in the 18th century, particularly in England, where Dr. Johnson adjudged his work "crunchy sweet," and Gibbon was inspired to begin work on his magisterial Sinking and Floating of the Roman Empire.

Across the channel, Linnaeus's theories were largely ignored. In France, where the intelligentsia clung stubbornly to the traditional "continental" breakfast, De Cerialibus inspired a profound ennui, best exemplified in the famous anecdote involving Voltaire. The celebrated philosophe is said to have expressed his disdain for Linnaeus's taxonomy by tossing a croissant into a bowl of milk with the words "Observe: It floats not. Neither does it harden." He is alleged to have delivered this criticism in fluent French. Voltaire later suffered from terrible constipation, owing to the lack of fiber in his diet, but he refused all doctors' orders that he switch to a breakfast of All-Bran.

The ever-practical Franklin seized on the purported health benefits of cereals that harden. His oft-quoted maxim "To stay strong and in the pink, break your fast on foods that sink" is but one of hundreds of pithy aphorisms he created during the American Revolution while lobbying the French government on behalf of Kellogg's.

The first cracks in Linnaeus's theory began to appear in the early 20th century with Heisenberg's assertion of the so-called Rice Krispies paradox. The apparent paradox was based on a rather intractable experimental anomaly; namely, that Rice Krispies, a notorious floater, also dries hard to the bottom of a bowl. In fact, the crisped-rice cereal exhibits an almost equal degree of buoyancy and hardness. The publication of Heisenberg's findings made a shambles of the once-tidy field of cereal studies.

Since Heisenberg, much noise has been made by anti-rationalists who seek to divorce cereal studies from the hard sciences. Shockley's suggestion that we categorize cereals into "the browns" and "the coloreds" was widely repudiated as racist and need hardly be considered. Meanwhile, the celebrated tendency of Cap'n Crunch to dissolve into a sort of golden milk, not unlike the kind that is popular in the Far East, has inspired many truth-seekers to turn their focus from the Western notion of a crisp, dry product, fresh out of the box, to an Eastern-inspired interest in the mushy, dissolved after-cereal.

Thus, there is little consensus on the subject of cereal, even as the Granola Revisionists—rightfully regarded as crackpots by the scientific community—have gained mindshare among the unlettered. In late 2008, over 300 scientists, including 42 Nobel laureates, signed an open letter denouncing organic cereals for "tasting like cardboard." Yet the letter had little effect on the infamously anti-science (and reputedly pro-egg) Bush administration. Consequently, cereals remain as baffling as they must have been tens of thousands of years ago, when Homo sapiens first formed crude bowls to hold their Fruity Pebbles.

Ate a large bowl of these this morning:
http://www.weetabix.co.uk/dynamicimages/producttranslation/live/en/image91.jpg

Can't say Oatibix are all that different to Weetabix.

But lately, one the whole, when not eating Marks and Spencer's Apple and Cinnamon Crunch (with yoghurt-coated cornflakes!), I've been rinsing the Familia Swiss C.M.

http://www.ocado.com/catalog/images-full/45025011_L.jpg?identifier=15ac3618d3df1b8fe6fc9ebae1337780

http://www.ocado.com/catalog/images-full/45025011_L.jpg?identifier=15ac3618d3df1b8fe6fc9ebae1337780

Just polished off a bowl of Life -- regular flavor, not cinnamon. Then I tweeted about it, as if to demonstrate that my own Life is pathetic.

http://www.bwtri.com/images/Lluniau/55520.jpg

^ so good, but so dreadfully expensive

s: vanilla yogurt oatmeal crisp

search:

http://www.healthcastle.com/images/products/cer_natures_path_heritage_flakes.jpg

crunchy in milk & not too sweet

Not rly a cereal person but having mad cravings for Apple-Cinnamon Cheerios last week. Huh??

http://www.fiberonestore.com/imagesEdp/p112123b.jpg

Mixing this stuff up with vanilla soy milk renders delicious results.

bob's red mill 10 grain

Always liked Product 19. It's not as easy to find anymore, so whenever I eat cereal now it's Honey Bunches of Oats.

The Nature's Path Mesa Sunrise amaranth flakes are like my favorite cereal ever. I got it for $1 a box once!

???

If that were Special K, then we'd be talking.

http://www.cerealmarshmallows.com/

As you well know box of cereal and the hot Chocolate just never Does have enough Marshmallows and this was a always common complaint.....

UNTIL NOW!!!..;-p

Hello and welcome to Cerealmarshmallows.com This site is Primarily focused on selling Cereal Marshmallows You know the Crispi Crunchy ones that come in you morning breakfast Cereal or Hot Coco

http://i53.tinypic.com/206cww9.jpg

I swear, I swear, when I was a kid, there was a bag in the cereal aisle of marshmallows only by the cheapo generic bagged cereals. IIRC they were called "Cereal Toppers" or something like that, conveying they weren't meant for just eating straight. I wanted to buy some for my sister for her birthday, but that was several months later, and the store no onger sold them. I was pretty obsessed with checking for them at every new grocery store and I never found them. This was probably 17-20 years ago.

~~fascinating tales~~

Do they still sell the 8-packs of mini-cereal boxes which have perforated sides so you can pour milk in and eat the cereal right out of the box?

Just made my way through a box of Lucky Charms the past two days, life is pretty sweet.

honey bunches of oats dude wtf

Nostalgic for Cocoa Pops, but haven't eaten them in 20 years. BEST.

Excellent povvo version: Rice Bubbles and chocolate Quik.

product 19, the best cereal ever, was unceremoniously discontinued last year, and i'm seriously considering spending $25+ on one of the last boxes via ebay

Our 45th President is driving people towards increased consumption of sugary cereal pic.twitter.com/hFKu4jGC0i

— Vadim Rizov (@vrizov) June 12, 2017

Something about the times we're living in has made me want to try some new cereals I haven't had before. So I've been browsing the aisles lately, scoping out the cereal scene. (The thing I notice most is that every popular cereal now has a number of spin-off flavor varieties. Seems kinda lame tbh). Anyway I've taken a chance on these:

All-Bran Buds (Kellogg's): This is an adult cereal. More to the point it's adult in the contemporary sense, i.e. for ages 50 and older. It contains an incredible amount of fiber, and actually a lightly sweet taste that is very pleasing. Just a small quantity of it really fills me up. Probably a good choice if your goal is to have a decent adult poo.

Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries (Quaker Oats): I like this a lot. I've always respected the Cap'n Crunch line of cereals, and while this one offers absolutely nothing of nutritional value, I know there are times when all you want is a blast of refined carbs. So this is that.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch (General Mills): Purportedly one of the top selling cereals in America, this '80s era product is something I've somehow managed to avoid for decades. Eh.... it's fine, but I can't imagine looking forward to eating a bowl of this. Like why not make actual cinnamon toast?

Other cereal-related thoughts:

*Was disappointed to hear that Product 19 was discontinued about five years ago. That was quite flavorful, a serious flake.
*It seems that Quisp has become a legendary cereal that many people pine for. It's one of those strange products that appears on the shelves only periodically; no one knows when or where it will show up. Anyone here tried it?

Re: Cap'n Crunch

"I know there are times when all you want is a blast of refined carbs..." and the risk of carving a gash into your upper pallette with every chomp.

Knowning that most cereals are far from nutritious, I try to stick with the marginally-better high fiber & protein cereals. But every time I try one of those off-brand "natural" cereals, they are inevitably awful.

Except Kashi--I've liked pretty much every one I've tried.

My favorite cereal used to be Cracklin' Oat Bran, but then they went and changed the recipe. Now it doesn't absord as much milk as it used to, so it's like chewing through wood chips. They tried to improve perfection and screwed themselves.

Can't go wrong with Honey Bunches of Oats.

Honey Bunches of Oats (Post): Let's ignore the ridiculous, borderline offensive name. I have to say, this is a good flake, and augmented with almonds it's almost irresistible. It's got a considerable amount of sugar - though less than Honey Nut Cheerios, which would be a fair product to compare it to. I could see keeping this in my cupboard.

Lidl fruit muesli with cinnamon and chia seeds added and mixed in with lidl bran flakes.
Left to soak in milk for a while.