I come in to bed (not talking).
Her: "Will you please stop talking in a Mexican accent! It's really annoying!"
― Theodore "Thee Diddy" Roosevelt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 August 2010 17:33 (thirteen years ago) link
I just walked in with some groceries and she was napping. She opens her eyes looking very upset:
"Son of a gorilla! EW!" "Who's a son of a gorilla, me?""NO!"
― bury my heart at wounded nerd (Hurting 2), Sunday, 6 March 2011 00:54 (thirteen years ago) link
After finally getting K to sleep, I climb into bed next to her.
"Mmm""Hi there""Are you an ice cream?"For a second I think she's hinting at something... Nope, she's asleep and thinks I'm a walking, talking ice cream.
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 March 2014 01:54 (ten years ago) link
(*her = my wife, obv, not K)
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 March 2014 01:55 (ten years ago) link
I slept over on a sofa at a friend's house and when they came in the room, apparently I blurted out "OF MICE AND MEN!"
― 1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Friday, 21 March 2014 12:35 (ten years ago) link
Took me ages to find this thread. I keep thinking about it now I've discovered I have a rampantly florid sleeptalker for a partner. This morning I sat up and sneezed and muttered that it might be hayfever. He informed me "no, its catbus." Five minutes later he sat up, looked confused and said "aw - catbus just left the bed!". Then he told me he was having sausages.
He frequently hums tunes, and once blurted out "BABY COME BACK" (as in, the Player song). He often goes on about numbers, or levels, and if I ever ask him what he said he retorts "I dont KNOWWW!" in this grumpy voice. It is hilarious.
― Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Thursday, 23 October 2014 21:59 (nine years ago) link
omg
― pecker shrivellage (imago), Thursday, 23 October 2014 22:01 (nine years ago) link
catbus just left the bed :'''(
He has bad sleep apnoea so i think that adds to it, as it semi-wakes him constantly. I've been recording him, its gold.
xpost hahah yes he was so sad!
― Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Thursday, 23 October 2014 22:05 (nine years ago) link
the one time I had my sleeptalking reported to me, I had been to an anarchist demonstration over the weekend. I was talking about how flexi-discs make much better roadblocks
― sleeve, Thursday, 23 October 2014 22:21 (nine years ago) link
when mine has bad dreams he yells out wordlessly, a friend named it the "hilltop holler".
― mattresslessness, Thursday, 23 October 2014 22:23 (nine years ago) link
Yeah my guy has done that too, silent screams... very disconcerting.
― Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Thursday, 23 October 2014 22:35 (nine years ago) link
Fascinating, weirdly funny thread. Tempted to start a parallel "Do I Need to Get a Girlfriend for My Exorcist?" thread.
― clemenza, Thursday, 23 October 2014 22:40 (nine years ago) link
i don't really talk but i laugh a lot in my sleep, sometimes i wake myself up. my sister has always talked streams of absolute guddle in an adamant tone, her partner can't believe his sensible ears.
― estela, Thursday, 23 October 2014 22:46 (nine years ago) link
wish vic XI still posted tbh
― imago, Thursday, 20 November 2014 20:26 (nine years ago) link
My boyfriend woke up and started talking to me in Polish last week. Also this, from months ago:
C, asleep in a chair: "What did you do with the sticks?"Me: "The sticks?"C: "The sticks I gave you."M: "What sticks?" C: "The sticks I made you, for the fence."M: "What fence?"
We never figured out what fence.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Thursday, 20 November 2014 23:37 (nine years ago) link
Ha!
― *tera, Friday, 21 November 2014 06:33 (nine years ago) link
My bf seems obsessed with cats in his sleep haha.
I accidentally semi woke him the other day to be greeted with this frightening grin, and then he said "did you see it? The cat? How cool is the cat!?"
When he woke properly he was all "it was a big ginger tabby!"
― Gumbercules? I love that guy! (Trayce), Friday, 21 November 2014 08:57 (nine years ago) link
I haven't had new material for this in a while - I guess she's mellowing. However, I realized I never posted one of my favorites, which I think may actually have been the first instance of this in our relationship, back when she was about to finish her degree:
H (very agitated): I'm worried about my boobipoo!Me: Your what?!H: My diploma!Me: Why are you worried about your diploma?H: I'm worried it doesn't say my name! I think it says something else!Me: What do you think it says?H: Boobipoo!
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 November 2014 21:09 (nine years ago) link
irl lol
― carl agatha, Friday, 21 November 2014 22:54 (nine years ago) link
lolled for 30 seconds straight
― Piss-Up Artist (dog latin), Saturday, 22 November 2014 19:01 (nine years ago) link
Ah my fave thread. I posted this one on FB the other day but bf said whinily in sleep "I dont WANNA be the king of Moomba!".
Another recent one:"Why is everything a thing? 90 degrees, zero degrees, straight up and down!"
― Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Monday, 18 April 2016 03:32 (eight years ago) link
i woke jordan up last night by pulling the covers off him, then sleepily said 'oh sorry, i was looking for the birds in my dream'. no recollection what i was dreaming about, or why they would be on top of my husband, under the covers...
― just1n3, Monday, 18 April 2016 04:30 (eight years ago) link
Last night:
Her: No!Me: No?Her: No. Don't do anything with the capitalists.
***later:
Her: Tights! Tights!
― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Thursday, 1 September 2016 15:13 (seven years ago) link
Just got: "It's just a warm hole, stick it in there."
― circa1916, Saturday, 17 September 2016 07:24 (seven years ago) link
lol
― how's life, Saturday, 17 September 2016 10:28 (seven years ago) link
Damned if u do,etc
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Saturday, 17 September 2016 10:41 (seven years ago) link
B (in his sleep): ....I dont believe you!Me: Huh?B: I'm sorry, I'm very confused now...which side should I be on... your side probly... fuck them! You did the right thing.Me: uh.... thank you?
B: ... I came out of that alright I thought!
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 5 May 2017 06:37 (seven years ago) link
way to go B
― your cognitive privilege (El Tomboto), Saturday, 6 May 2017 04:15 (seven years ago) link
I wonder what he thinks he got away with, haha.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 8 May 2017 04:03 (seven years ago) link
A Catholic friend today is to undergo an exorcism at 3:30 Eastern. She has been through all the psychiatric diagnostics the Church requires. This is real. This is a horrifying situation, like something out of the movies. Her husband asked me to beg your prayers.— Rod Dreher (@roddreher) November 15, 2018
― mookieproof, Thursday, 15 November 2018 17:02 (five years ago) link
Wow, that IS like something out of the movies.
― mick signals, Thursday, 15 November 2018 17:49 (five years ago) link
http://www.joblo.com/newsimages1/333923-full11.jpg
― the Stanley Kubrick of testicular torsion (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 15 November 2018 17:52 (five years ago) link
do non catholics ever need catholic exorcisms do they
― unproven (darraghmac), Thursday, 15 November 2018 18:07 (five years ago) link
It is a well-known fact that solely Orthodox exorcisms are effective post-Great Schism.
― pomenitul, Thursday, 15 November 2018 18:11 (five years ago) link
whats a sizzum?
― unproven (darraghmac), Thursday, 15 November 2018 18:12 (five years ago) link
to answer that, you need to know the pizzarts
― wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Thursday, 15 November 2018 18:21 (five years ago) link
lizzol
― rip van wanko, Thursday, 15 November 2018 18:22 (five years ago) link
how long does an exorcism take? should we be checking back at 3:45 eastern or will it last through supper?
― mookieproof, Thursday, 15 November 2018 18:23 (five years ago) link
anyone got the link to the Twitch livestream
― wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Thursday, 15 November 2018 18:25 (five years ago) link
why are converts always getting mixed up in weird shit like exorcism?
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 15 November 2018 18:30 (five years ago) link
maybe because of weird shit like exorcism
― rip van wanko, Thursday, 15 November 2018 18:39 (five years ago) link
schism flizzum exorcism
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Thursday, 15 November 2018 19:28 (five years ago) link
[rod dreher voice] Chelsea Manning is deluded, as there’s no such thing as “being trans”. now plz excuse me, I need to go cast some Harry Potter spells on my friend’s wife so she will poop out the fearsome demon Belphegor pic.twitter.com/1IbTzzmlLV— KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) November 15, 2018
― Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Thursday, 15 November 2018 20:24 (five years ago) link
krang otm as ever
― the Stanley Kubrick of testicular torsion (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 15 November 2018 20:29 (five years ago) link
how long does an exorcism take?
http://imgur.com/BBzdsiNl.png
― mick signals, Thursday, 15 November 2018 22:01 (five years ago) link
The book Hostage to the Devil is crammed with useful info. How can you tell if you have a demon? "Violent physical transformations seem sometimes to make the lives of the possessed akind of hell on earth. Their normal processes of secretion and elimination are saturated with inexplicable wrackings and exaggeration."
― mick signals, Thursday, 15 November 2018 22:10 (five years ago) link
sounds like my teenage years
― the Stanley Kubrick of testicular torsion (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 15 November 2018 22:14 (five years ago) link
Actually thinking about how fucked this exorcism shit is. This is most likely a woman with schizophrenia or some other mental condition that leads to her not sharing consensus reality, shall we say, and they're telling her "it's because you're possessed by a malevolent supernatural force", should be criminalized tbh.
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 15 November 2018 22:26 (five years ago) link
to be fair exorcisims are exceedingly rare, plus how the fuck do you know
― rip van wanko, Thursday, 15 November 2018 22:39 (five years ago) link