has your aptitude at matters of the heart (to put it queasily) improved since your teens?

(this is something of a bittersweet blessing)

sarah you are most welcome

back on topic: i'm WAY more neurotic now. i just internalize it more.

I don't know what it's like to be single really. I've always been in a long-term relationship. But realisticly, I doubt I would be out partying with my six closest female friends, getting wasted on fruity drinks and hooking up. If I wanted to meet guys I'd probably, uh, start a band?

I'm a lot less melodramatic than I used to be. After one breakup in high school, I vowed never to be in a relationship again. I think that lasted about a month. But anyway, there was that bit of time when I wrote horrible poems about never being able to find my soulmate my whole life, then dieing alone. You know, the usual.

you should set them to music and make a concept album!

It would work a lot better if I were goth.

you can go goth for one album only, sort of like garth brooks

Yeah, because that was a big success.

you too can be in cut-out bins throughout the far northwest side!

this thread has strayed far from ascots and neck-licking

You don't associate those with garth (I mean, Chris??)?

Garth goth.

At risk of digging back up something which probably should stay burried, but still, I wasn't here to comment at the time.

Yeah, seriously, hstencil on the money. Two lonely people dealing with it in different ways.

I mean, what *should* I be doing? Lying around being all twee and whinging about how I'm too romantically incompetant to get a date or get over my broken heart? Does that really make me, or anyone else around me any happier? What actually gives me that kind of a serotonin kick that makes me get out of bed and take the razor from my fucking vein? Lying around living out Smiths lyrics and being neurotic, or looking at NME scenester pr0n? Guess which one works better for me.

I've wasted too much of my life being depressed and I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. You know what? Yeah, my teens *were* a long time ago, and I don't have to be that person any more. Are you gonna wallow in your own self pity or are you going to transcend it? OK, so I have a bit of a strange way of transcending, (the path of excess leads to Willesdon) but you know, whatever works for you.

anyway

i've reached that stage where after devoting too much thought to the matter and having finally achieved step one (getting a "date" more or less/being somewhat confident that she likes me), i start wondering why i devoted so much thought to it when i don't really know the person all that well. it's like your eyesight clears up and you realize it wasn't your eyesight, the person actually is kind of a blur to you. i guess that's what the date is for.

this repeats a familiar pattern for me: crushing on someone, getting them to notice you, then idly (disastrously?) wondering if their friend with whom you share a laugh more easily and spontaneously isn't the person you should be attracted to.

life is weird.

I don't know but I don't think so.

I don't think so either.

i haven't had a crush in twelve years, and i'm a eunuch.

life is wonderful here.

aim?

When I was a teenager, girls threw themselves at me, so I learned nothing. No really. Now women barely look twice at me, except desparate ones, so I still know nothing. And it's frustrating, because there's a certain dating aptitude I suspect you're supposed to have I don't. It's either straight to bed (too infrequently unfortunately) or more typically complete ineptitude with the sophisticated women I'd like to hang around with.

I haven't had a date since the year 2000.

nope. i've always been completely shitful at matters of the heart. it's not something i expect to improve at to be perfectly honest.

:-)

sarah have you listened more to t hat soul cd???

now that i have a cd burner i can copy you guys some more stuff. like, lots, if you so desire. i have like 200 soul cds.