if it's raining out and you drive to work, try to leave a little earlier than usual or you might be late #weather
― call all destroyer, Wednesday, 27 October 2010 13:56 (thirteen years ago) link
68. ATMs are located in every drugstore and department store (as are weapons dealers and medicine peddlers). Never carry a lot of cash with you; leave it in your account. If you die, you come back with half the cash you were carrying #gameproprotipsarenotjustforEarthbound
― mother cabrini maxwell (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 14:07 (thirteen years ago) link
69. Don't waste time with shit attorneys take matters into your own hands.
― cubby wubby dumbass (u s steel), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 14:08 (thirteen years ago) link
70. Don't try to sneak up from behind on someone using a hula-hoop. #stalking_the_sockhop
― http://tinyurl.com/beaaarrr (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 14:13 (thirteen years ago) link
On any messageboard, it's important to have one area reserved where people can fight to the death. #ilm_battleroyale
― Unfrozen Caveman Board-Lawyer (WmC), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 14:16 (thirteen years ago) link
stuck on a halloween costume? try going as a ghost or a skeleton. #death
― only built 4 cuban linux (ciderpress), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 14:29 (thirteen years ago) link
71. go big or go home #going
― candid gamera (s1ocki), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 14:34 (thirteen years ago) link
72. Hungry? Go to bed #diets
― all the love sent up high to pledge won't reach the (ledge), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 14:42 (thirteen years ago) link
73. Tired? Have some coffee #theslowdeathofsleeplessness
― peter in montreal, Wednesday, 27 October 2010 14:49 (thirteen years ago) link
I did that one this morning! Pumpkin coffee at the diner.
― mother cabrini maxwell (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 14:52 (thirteen years ago) link
74. If you've shattered a glass on the ground, leave it. Eventually it will erode into beautiful stones. #homedecor
― corey, Wednesday, 27 October 2010 15:02 (thirteen years ago) link
75. watching a movie with a girl you really like but dont know how to make a move? pretend to dramatically yawn while stretcingh out your arms, and then subtly lay your arm across her shoulder. #orelsetrythepopcorntrick
― dayo, Wednesday, 27 October 2010 15:03 (thirteen years ago) link
76. If you have problems, start drinking. #life
― peter in montreal, Wednesday, 27 October 2010 15:04 (thirteen years ago) link
77. Instead of wasting soggy corn flakes by throwing them away, place the mixture into cupcake tins and bake at 350F for 15 minutes. You've just made a delicious snack. #sandralee
― corey, Wednesday, 27 October 2010 15:12 (thirteen years ago) link
78. got a boner at an inopportune time? that's cool, so do I #bonersolidarity
― quique da snique (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 16:52 (thirteen years ago) link
that joke is gonna stiff
― candid gamera (s1ocki), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 17:10 (thirteen years ago) link
79. If you are at a concert jumping around and grabbing people's heads and they push you off, they do not want you to grab them by the head. #sexualharassment
― I know that the man pees inside the woman (silby), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 18:28 (thirteen years ago) link
80. You can order grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon. #lunchtime
― I know that the man pees inside the woman (silby), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 18:29 (thirteen years ago) link
81. not everyone is good at sports #theproblemwithsports
― quique da snique (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 18:30 (thirteen years ago) link
82. can't sing? then don't. #notevenintheshower
― quique da snique (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 18:48 (thirteen years ago) link
83. Hash tag puns will impress your friends. #browns #cakes cornedbeef# madeacomplete#ofthis
― Tilting at Bushmills (onimo), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 19:00 (thirteen years ago) link
84. Rolling a joint and stuck for something to help tamp down the top end? Oh look, there's a chopstick! #pokeandtoke
― "good luck, sycophants!" (suzy), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 19:04 (thirteen years ago) link
85. when offering a cigarette to a homeless person, remove it from the pack yourself and hand it to them. do not offer the pack to them so they can take one. #dirtyfingers
― tangelo amour (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 19:21 (thirteen years ago) link
86. make sure you change a few large notes into single dollar bills before you arrive at the club -- don't expect the bar staff to break a hundred #makingitrainondemhoes
― make em say ukhh (history mayne), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 20:12 (thirteen years ago) link
87. bonita applebum? you gotta put me on #pro-tip #q-tip
― String Yr BLOBs (bnw), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 20:41 (thirteen years ago) link
88. if you have dots in your gmail username you don't even need to enter them when logging in! #usernames
― let me help you with your screen name problems (cozen), Friday, 29 October 2010 19:36 (thirteen years ago) link
89. Don't wash your hands, dummy, they're only gonna get dirty again! #science
― Z S, Friday, 29 October 2010 19:39 (thirteen years ago) link
90. always vote 'no', works eveytime #voting
― ice cr?m, Monday, 1 November 2010 16:30 (thirteen years ago) link
91. You can ride a horse anywhere! #vehicles
― kkvgz, Friday, 5 November 2010 11:38 (thirteen years ago) link
92. If you attend a halloween party, BRING CANDY!! Because A) so few ppl think to actually do this (ime) and B) everyone loves candy and, in turn, you. #raddudes'r'us
― twisted sister hazel dickens (Stevie D(eux)), Saturday, 6 November 2010 22:31 (thirteen years ago) link
I don't know about the rest of you, but I like to imagine these pro tips as spoken by Dr. Steve Brule
― Z S, Saturday, 6 November 2010 22:34 (thirteen years ago) link
93. read these pro tips in the voice of dr. steve brule #stealingotherpeoplesgoodideas
― congratulations (n/a), Saturday, 6 November 2010 22:49 (thirteen years ago) link
94. itchy bedbugs driving you crazy? no, actually, you've just contracted leprosy #imsorryman
― quique da snique (bernard snowy), Saturday, 6 November 2010 23:02 (thirteen years ago) link
Ahem.This one sounds like it should be said by Dr Steve Brule.
"dip your pretzels in hummus, dummy! For your health!"
― Sunn O))) Sundae Smile (Trayce), Wednesday, 27 October 2010 16:44 (1 week ago)
― Sunn O))) Sundae Smile (Trayce), Saturday, 6 November 2010 23:43 (thirteen years ago) link
D'OH
― Z S, Sunday, 7 November 2010 00:41 (thirteen years ago) link
<3
― Sunn O))) Sundae Smile (Trayce), Sunday, 7 November 2010 01:05 (thirteen years ago) link
If your boots are made for walking then that's just what they'll do #walkalloveryou
― Eto'o ))) (ken c), Sunday, 7 November 2010 02:25 (thirteen years ago) link
96. The best rubberbands come free with asparagus #rubberbands
― ice cr?m, Wednesday, 10 November 2010 23:31 (thirteen years ago) link
97. If you think seeing people pick their noses is funny then move to a city with good public transportation #golddigging
― Fetchboy, Thursday, 11 November 2010 09:05 (thirteen years ago) link
98. are you a non-nerd looking to make conversation with a nerd? just say "i don't really understand how role-playing games work" and hold on tight! #nerds
― look at this dapper motherfucker (reddening), Thursday, 11 November 2010 10:24 (thirteen years ago) link
99. if you're wanting some nutella on your bread and you find that there isn't any in the cupboard, melt whatever chocolate you do have in the microwave and then immediately stuff the bread into your mouth afterwards for maximum effect
― jumpskins, Monday, 22 November 2010 00:25 (thirteen years ago) link
#tastyasfuck
― jumpskins, Monday, 22 November 2010 00:26 (thirteen years ago) link
100. you should always try to be #100 at any activity in which getting #1 is not the best outcome #baseten
― T-Rex's erotic imagination (Z S), Monday, 22 November 2010 00:31 (thirteen years ago) link
101. replace all instances of base with based #basedten
― _| ̄|○| ̄|○| ̄|○ (dayo), Monday, 22 November 2010 00:52 (thirteen years ago) link
102. need to impressive a girl? turn up the bass as much as possible, girls LOVE that! #waystomakeyourbuttitch
― T-Rex's erotic imagination (Z S), Monday, 22 November 2010 00:54 (thirteen years ago) link
need to impressive a girl?need to impressive a girl?need to impressive a girl?
― need to impressive a girl? (Z S), Monday, 22 November 2010 00:55 (thirteen years ago) link
why because she look intersting
― ice cr?m, Monday, 22 November 2010 04:03 (thirteen years ago) link
103. Have a rusty, annoyingly difficult-to-use can opener? Just fucking buy a new one and live a happier, more time-efficient life. #timesavers
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 22 November 2010 08:23 (thirteen years ago) link
104. Relive a golden Doctor Who moment by watching any episode ever made before 2010.
― Friday: vuvuzela club meeting (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 22 November 2010 09:04 (thirteen years ago) link
#goldenmoments
― shirley summistake (s1ocki), Monday, 22 November 2010 10:10 (thirteen years ago) link