Tell Me About: Threesomes

OTM!

Martin, what's the best way to bring it up? I don't want to ask when she's drunk, b/c I think that's a little conniving. Over a drink or two to loosen any tensions first, I wouldn't think unreasonable, though.

The thing is, my partner and I feel very comfortable with each other and we're both adventurous enough to have a serious try at it. We're also both mature enough to know to talk out insecurities as they arise instead of dwelling on them, and we both ultimately trust that if one is worried about issue A with the other and the other assures that there is no issue A happening, we believe it.

This all being said, if this simply is one of those things that doesn't really have a happy ending regardless of the above factors, I'm totally willing to let it go. I just want to be certain that that is the only viable option.

http://www.roberthegyes.com/gfx/kotter7.jpg

But quite honestly if you really value your relationship the risk isn't worth it, since I know a couple that was essentially broken up due in large part to a threesome. She said she resented it after the fact, because she felt like she was objectified by him during it (even though she had gone along 100% beforehand) and he felt guilty for "using" her that way, felt weird while it was happening, and felt that the "sanctity" of their relationship was shattered a little bit. I guess that's just one example though.

Foursomes are best when all four parties are bi, I think! I don't think swapping or same room sex is the same as a foursome.

Oh my.

Marc Almond, paraphrased from memory from his biography.

if you do, make sure to give more lovin to the gf than not significant other.

if your gf wants a threesome with another guy...go ahead and break up now then have your threesome.

There's a whole lot of baggage here, but good luck. Maybe check out some polyamorous forums or web sites. They're generally a bit more helpful and less cheesy than swinger websites.

Given the general agreement around here that threesomes are potentially hazardous to relationships, I'd say asking yourself why you want to do it is pretty important.

I'm not saying it wouldn't work out of course but there are risks, and if you're deep into a committed relationship it doesn't seem like it would be worth it.

if so, a fantastic experience
if not, a waste of time

Hahahaha.

I love from butter pecan to blackberry molass'
I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of that *ass*
Long as you show class, and pass my test
Fat *fuckin* breasts, highly intelligent bachlorettes
That's the best, I won't settle for less
I wanna get a brunette, with unforgettable sex
I lay your head on my chest, come feel my heartbeat
We can park the Jeep, pump Mobb Deep, and just spark the leaf
It's hard to creep since I found Joe
Every pretty round brown *hoe* wanna go down low
But this Boogie Down pro-fessional, I'ma let you know
Once I quit the blows, get your clothes, cause you got to go
out the do' downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere
(You nasty Twin) I don't care
Round here they call me Big Pun,
Hit you with the big guns
Big tongue, known to make a chick *cum*

oh and sorry for butting in again and again w/o introducing myself!

ps regarding the OP, my limited experience is 50/50 good/bad out of the two times I've tried it

in each case, right ball good, left ball bad

i have always been bad at sex jokes (and all other jokes). carry on!

are you sex at bad jokes?

i think within a one-week window in middle school i said "what is a boner?" in front of 75+ students in orchestra rehearsal, and then got punked by some kid who asked me if i knew what spooning was and then proceeded to give me an incorrect definition of spooning

http://cache4.asset-cache.net/gc/200191987-001-female-student-raising-hand-in-classroom-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=xyysMdXLY3NLiBAv4iY6urEbc7gN8BrWNRVv1cgR5MlcUw4RuQO8KD%2FIYN4zgZoE

what is a boner

Plenty of people never had a threesome, been invited to one or were interested in one but have had plenty of other sexual experiences. It never appealed to me... Taurus, INFJ I don't know. There have been times when it was suggested and I turned red both times and just sort of...left. When I hear about someone who fell in love and got married in their twenties and have been happily married 15-20 years by now, I always wonder what if I just had just not been who I was for twenty years. Pointless to go down that road. If you feel this is gnawing at you, best talk to a therapist. Don't ask for details it's all rumination. Totally think what you were doing was cooler. If it's any consolation I didn't see nearly enough shows and I have no degree. Both trump a threesome with a random in my elder opinion.

The number of people I know who have engaged in threesomes just keeps getting larger, and it continues to blow my mind.

Oh no wait, that's not my mind.

Ha!

been holding out for insurance/ job. It's the first time in my life that I am not getting jobs I apply too. That rejection has been hard as well. Find myself reading astrologyzone several times a month. Grasping. I did do some counseling through a woman's organization recently but felt the counselor wasn't getting my issues. She was a bit too aggressive for me and I sort of felt steamrolled by her ideas of me. But was that impression real or just part of my depression? Things have gone a bitower since then. Amazing what a little insurance could do. Looked into Obamacate and uh.....that won't work for me. I actually had a a small meltdown over that because for weeks I thought that would solve everything.

And that should go on another thread.

sounds sexy tho!

insurance job > [redacted]

TMI: Too Much Insurance

Threesomes are like eating 1/4 of a cake in one sitting: awesome in the moment and rich with that delicious "I can't believe I'm actually doing this!" feeling of transgression and then it's over and you feel uncomfortable and a little shamed and also you have diabetes.

found out from a mutual friend that this radical couple in our college activist group was interested in having a threesome with me. they were really intense and often caustic anarchist types that intimidated the other activists, but they were always really really sweet to me and then i found out the likely reason why. i was kind of shocked since i was just this naive freshman and didn't expect many people to be interested in me. not sure if i would have done it though - it was rumored that the guy in the couple had his dick pierced and that doesn't interest me at all.

it all depends on the three

*tera's story above built up so much tension and suspense.

Coincidental FB update from a friend:
It's so cold hell has frozen over. The only possible explanation for me eating a mango.

the warmth of cuddling up with a mango or two

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vpsTQ786_I

There's this weird delusion that str8 guys have, that when a MFF threesome occurs, it is somehow all about the super-studly babe-attracting powers of the M in the equation. Of the MFF threesomes I've had, and all the women I've talked to about random hookup threesomes, 3 times out of 4, the threesome is actually about the ~bi-curious~ (or just plain bi) desires of the women involved, and the dude involved is pretty incidental / really only there as an excuse or cover to try out lady-love.

(Long term couples I have no experience with, but others' experience indicates 50/50?)

But if you are a dude asking yourself "why am I not the kind of guy who gets to have threesomes?" it is way less about you, and way more about the women you know.

TL; DR there's no guy in threesome.

i know one (1) guy who is in a literal polyamorous relationship with two girls (all three dating each other etc) and he is a person who once yelled at me for saying "dice" when referring to a singular die

Beer and pot make the threesome more casual.