― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 19 July 2003 01:52 (twenty-one years ago) link
― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 19 July 2003 02:02 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 19 July 2003 02:10 (twenty-one years ago) link
I'm the other guy? Who knew?
― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 19 July 2003 02:16 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 19 July 2003 02:18 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 19 July 2003 02:19 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 19 July 2003 08:08 (twenty-one years ago) link
I only think you've brought up some good arguements.
Perhaps as someone wbo is still dealing with this herself, I appreciate it. But I think this is a good thread, dumb-ass responses and all.
oh, and ESOJ, I'm completely serious.
― That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 19 July 2003 08:17 (twenty-one years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Saturday, 19 July 2003 13:20 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 19 July 2003 14:19 (twenty-one years ago) link
― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 26 July 2003 01:08 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 26 July 2003 01:10 (twenty-one years ago) link
― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 26 July 2003 01:11 (twenty-one years ago) link
― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 26 July 2003 01:13 (twenty-one years ago) link
― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 26 July 2003 01:15 (twenty-one years ago) link
― rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 26 July 2003 04:21 (twenty-one years ago) link
― dave q, Saturday, 26 July 2003 14:57 (twenty-one years ago) link
who the hell is otis
― lol (roxymuzak), Monday, 23 February 2009 05:54 (fifteen years ago) link
og poster from '01
― velko, Monday, 23 February 2009 05:57 (fifteen years ago) link
ha i think we gathered that dude
― suggban stevens (J0rdan S.), Monday, 23 February 2009 05:58 (fifteen years ago) link
name: Otis
well, i mean he was here a lot, not just some dude who posted a few times and split.
― velko, Monday, 23 February 2009 06:00 (fifteen years ago) link
holy shit i posted on this thread haha...i believe in yesterday
― GLEEPGLOP BLOOPBLORP (nickalicious), Monday, 23 February 2009 07:17 (fifteen years ago) link
/ paul mccartney
http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/7425/imageuploadimage.jpg
― ----> (libcrypt), Monday, 23 February 2009 13:36 (fifteen years ago) link
Velko, are you some OG poster too? What name did you previously use?
― Tuomas, Monday, 23 February 2009 13:40 (fifteen years ago) link
Christ I have no idea who I was referring to in my example way back in 03... but if it is who I suspect, he's since married and settled down, haw.
― one art, please (Trayce), Monday, 23 February 2009 20:16 (fifteen years ago) link
Otis was a dude that Jordan S. and his friends gathered
― nabisco, Monday, 23 February 2009 20:17 (fifteen years ago) link
Also a friend of Ally's and one reason for the founding of ILE
Otis Redding - I've been loving youn
― and how (PappaWheelie V), Monday, 23 February 2009 20:20 (fifteen years ago) link
Odd the train of thought that led me from here to how do i become a mason .
― ----> (libcrypt), Monday, 23 February 2009 20:43 (fifteen years ago) link
weird thread upthread but let's do the all important thing where we ignore stuff from 5 years ago.
simple maybe stupid question, maybe better suited for the genderqueer thread but thought i'd put it here--anybody have resources on navigating being a straight primary partner for a queer person? their desires are ~not about me~, obviously, but i could use some help or advice dealing with the strange feeling i get when i stay home while they go for a prowl at pride.
― purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 2 June 2014 16:01 (ten years ago) link
(also, as a favor to me, i'd appreciate it if folks didn't get real 'girl/boy problems' thread on me--this isn't a 'relationship problem,' just a request for help if folks can direct me to any.)
― purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 2 June 2014 16:11 (ten years ago) link
If you're not into the polyamorous thing then you should discuss it with your partner. The worst thing you could do imo is pretend you are okay with something you're not. You will start feeling resentful, and then suppress this feeling because you feel bad about feeling it, and then your partner will pick up that you are repressing feelings of discomfort and feel guilty, but then resent you for making you feel guilty, and then feel guilty again for resenting you when you never explicitly said you felt weird about what she was doing in the first place, etc.
― Treeship, Monday, 2 June 2014 16:14 (ten years ago) link
(sorry i didn't read your second post. hope you find relevant info hoos)
― Treeship, Monday, 2 June 2014 16:15 (ten years ago) link
just to focus what i said a little better--i **do** have a few places in our relationship where i feel a twinge, and my interest is in getting /beyond/ that rather than ignoring it. i'm sort of looking for someone to tell me how to think through this stuff in order to become ok with it, because that's ultimately what i want even if i'm not 100% there yet right now.
― purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 2 June 2014 16:21 (ten years ago) link
I was in the same situation 5-6 years ago, hoos - I'm a pretty unjealous person to begin with, but once I thought of my gf's other bf as just another friend, I felt more comfortable. There were times when I would go out with friends and she would stay home; there were times when she would see her other bf and I would stay home. The only difference was the... activities. It sounds a little simplistic but it worked for me (though I ultimately had other issues with poly).
― Vinnie, Monday, 2 June 2014 16:54 (ten years ago) link
have you read The Ethical Slut? not for everybody but it might be helpful.
― sleeve, Monday, 2 June 2014 17:10 (ten years ago) link
sounds like a license to smash imo
― troy na'vi (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 2 June 2014 17:12 (ten years ago) link
― sleeve, Monday, June 2, 2014 5:10 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
i haven't, actually--been hearing about it for a while but haven't picked it up. good idea!
― purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 2 June 2014 17:14 (ten years ago) link
useta be ppl w aberrant ethical outlooks would form intentional communities w/likeminded practitioners in outlying areas rather than disseminating their experiments in living in the midst of the society of norms
― j., Monday, 2 June 2014 17:17 (ten years ago) link
advice dealing with the strange feeling i get when i stay home while they go for a prowl at pride
I can't assist you with the particulars, but the generalities may be good enough.
This is matter of feelings. The feelings give rise to thoughts, but the thoughts are only there to give the feelings a more definite form. The thoughts are neither true nor false, but simply exist as expressions of that feeling. They are bound to be ornate, involved, and ultimately misleading, while the feeling itself is extremely simple. Just dive straight at the feeling and feel it; the superficial thoughts will fade into irrelevancies and the essence of the situation will become clearer.
I hope that helps.
― put 'er right in the old breadbasket (Aimless), Monday, 2 June 2014 17:25 (ten years ago) link
http://missemmamm.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/amy.png
― troy na'vi (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 2 June 2014 17:26 (ten years ago) link
i'm sort of looking for someone to tell me how to think through this stuff in order to become ok with it, because that's ultimately what i want even if i'm not 100% there yet right now.
is there a particular reason why you want this?
― macklin' rosie (crüt), Monday, 2 June 2014 17:31 (ten years ago) link
because for me this partner is worth closing the gap.
― purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 2 June 2014 17:46 (ten years ago) link
That's why I was willing to try it with my then-gf too, a few years into our relationship. It was new territory for me, her, and the other guy, and we all tried to make it work. I don't regret the experience, but it had its pitfalls
― Vinnie, Monday, 2 June 2014 17:53 (ten years ago) link
Also I never read the Ethical Slut, but she had a copy and it was an illuminating book for her
― Vinnie, Monday, 2 June 2014 17:55 (ten years ago) link
I'll definitely grab TES at the library this week.
― purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 2 June 2014 18:08 (ten years ago) link
Are you seeing other people as well?
― Treeship, Monday, 2 June 2014 18:14 (ten years ago) link
I'm not actively pursuing anybody--not enough time, honestly--but I'm open to it.
― purposely lend impetus to my HOOS (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Monday, 2 June 2014 18:16 (ten years ago) link