― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 17 July 2003 05:43 (twenty years ago) link
Which is why I find it all rather brain-breaking. I think the 2 girls are involved together somehow too... but I'm not sure... and one of the girls before this was a pretty normal well adjusted long-term relationships type, so god knows. Maybe hes like the hypno-toad in Futurama, and none will resist his demands. Or something.
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 17 July 2003 05:48 (twenty years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 17 July 2003 05:50 (twenty years ago) link
― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 July 2003 05:52 (twenty years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 17 July 2003 05:53 (twenty years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 17 July 2003 05:55 (twenty years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 17 July 2003 05:56 (twenty years ago) link
― oops (Oops), Thursday, 17 July 2003 05:59 (twenty years ago) link
― That Girl (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 July 2003 06:03 (twenty years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 17 July 2003 06:04 (twenty years ago) link
― H (Heruy), Thursday, 17 July 2003 06:38 (twenty years ago) link
― dave q, Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:40 (twenty years ago) link
It is an excuse for one person to have their cake and eat it too. It is the refuge of the emotionally selfish who doesn't mind hurting everyone around them except themselves.
Or, on the other hand, if you're that bored with a relationship that you want to start screwing around - sorry - bringing other people into it, then that relationship wasn't built on anything particularly strong in the first place.
DUD DUD DUD DUD DUD DUD DUD!!!
Not that I speak from experience either.
― kate (kate), Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:52 (twenty years ago) link
― dave q, Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:53 (twenty years ago) link
― dave q, Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:54 (twenty years ago) link
― kate (kate), Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:56 (twenty years ago) link
― dave q, Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:58 (twenty years ago) link
― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 17 July 2003 08:30 (twenty years ago) link
― duane, Thursday, 17 July 2003 10:34 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:06 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:14 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:15 (twenty years ago) link
― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:18 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:18 (twenty years ago) link
A couple of years ago, my husband and I had a girlfriend who lived in Germany, and who was involved with both of us -- again, we would see her a few times a year and all was very nice. We went to Venice together once. She dumped us in a particularly heartless manner. Plus, she was a Momus fan!
― Layna (Layna Andersen), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:20 (twenty years ago) link
Kate nailed it from my own outside perspective, it always seemed to be one guy with an inflated sense of self-esteem and probably a too-big-dick and girls who did not have good opinions of themselves, who did a good job of seeming to be cool with everything, but in all the cases I witnessed someone was getting hurt and, away from the people in the relationship, was very obviously unhappy.
Frankly the whole thing smacks of immaturity to me.
― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:20 (twenty years ago) link
― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:22 (twenty years ago) link
― Larcole (Nicole), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:29 (twenty years ago) link
ronan and i came up with a website the yesterday called "creaky finger"
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:31 (twenty years ago) link
Hell, why have a relationship in the first place, then!
― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:47 (twenty years ago) link
― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:52 (twenty years ago) link
The only regular poster I know of who can speak with any authority on this subject is Ms. Laura.
― That Girl (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:54 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:57 (twenty years ago) link
I have been a part of a poly relationship, and while it didn't work all that well, for a whole shedload of reasons, it's not something I wouldn't consider again. I'm honestly not bothered by my partner being someone else's partner as well, providing he/she is not an arsehole. I've known enough happy poly people/relationships to be aware that it can work, and over a long period of time too.
― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 17 July 2003 17:08 (twenty years ago) link
― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:08 (twenty years ago) link
― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:09 (twenty years ago) link
(special for Josh there)
― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:15 (twenty years ago) link
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:17 (twenty years ago) link
I've had a tiny bit of firsthand experience and tons of secondhand experience with it. It isn't for me. The majority of the people I've known who seem to make it work are people I really can't stand, which makes it all pretty moot for me: if those are the personalities required to make it work, it really really isn't for me. (I'm not counting Our Ms L, since I don't really know her.)
― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:24 (twenty years ago) link
― That Girl (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:33 (twenty years ago) link
― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:35 (twenty years ago) link
(Almost cross-posted with Dan there. The ditto is to DDG.)
― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:35 (twenty years ago) link
― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 17 July 2003 20:07 (twenty years ago) link
haha why do you think i revived this?!?!
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 22:51 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 22:52 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 22:59 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:05 (twenty years ago) link
― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:06 (twenty years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:07 (twenty years ago) link
Maybe they're just really good at sexing.
― Moodles, Sunday, 15 October 2017 18:18 (six years ago) link
Maybe I'm insane but I think reactionary anti-monogamy is stupid
Monogamy is awesome, the benefits of descending through the aging process with your body and your partner's body ensconced in a protective bathysphere is marvellous.
I don't believe anybody who says "humans aren't inherently monogamous" because they're wrong, humans are and society is. The psychological construct of monogamy is imo an intrinsic necessity
All the best poly-relationships, that I've observed, are just hybrids and extensions of that experience imo
― fgti, Sunday, 15 October 2017 18:19 (six years ago) link
On the other hand, the pool of available polyamorists doesn't deplete as quickly. They can be in one or more relationships and still be available.― jmm, Sunday, October 15, 2017 1:17 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Good point! I hadn't thought of that.
― JRN, Sunday, 15 October 2017 18:45 (six years ago) link
honestly i don't get why anybody who hadn't had direct negative experience with it would be anti-polyamory.
― bob lefse (rushomancy), Sunday, 15 October 2017 18:51 (six years ago) link
i am too needy to be polyamorous but idgaf how other people live their lives, do whatever makes you happy
― k3vin k., Sunday, 15 October 2017 18:53 (six years ago) link
If you're in a city/region with a big kink network, it normally follows that there's a decent-ish pool of poly-friendly people. At least in my very limited experience anyhow…
― carson dial, Sunday, 15 October 2017 18:59 (six years ago) link
I know a poly triad where all three are bringing kids from previous marriages. The logistics of that are beyond impressive to me. Two sets of stepchildren each, screw that.
― louise ck (milo z), Sunday, 15 October 2017 19:08 (six years ago) link
Logistics of kids full stop
Again idk why poly gets bad rap there
― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Sunday, 15 October 2017 19:52 (six years ago) link
Even if one has no interest in engaging oneself with poly-relationship stuff, this sort of line of discussion has been useful for me in conducting emotional labour for my various friends who are dealing with extra-marital affairs, cheating, open relationships, as well as poly-stuff
― fgti, Sunday, 15 October 2017 23:21 (six years ago) link
Tbf more than two people helping to raise kids can potentially be very helpful -- in laws and aunts and cousins and friends and the like. I'm just more skeptical of the ability of people to commit to each other and go parenting in that sort of complex, multidirectional way. The main thing I believe in is that kids are better off when there is at least one or two primary parents who are always going to be there. I guess if you have that nailed down, maybe the drifting in and out of others would be less problematic. But idk. The whole anti-self-denial streak I see in a lot of writing about poly worries me when it comes to parenting because parenting requires a lot of self denial.
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Monday, 16 October 2017 00:41 (six years ago) link
it gets a bad rap because the most vocal and visible poly people are fuckin’ insufferable
― mh, Monday, 16 October 2017 00:48 (six years ago) link
the most vocal and visible poly people are fuckin’ insufferable
― bob lefse (rushomancy), Monday, 16 October 2017 00:56 (six years ago) link
like cultists
― j., Monday, 16 October 2017 01:00 (six years ago) link
this badiouian-maoist critique of polyamory
amazing!
― budo jeru, Saturday, 11 June 2022 04:34 (two years ago) link
revolutionaryphilosophycommittee.wordpress.com is no longer available.The authors have deleted this site.
― sarahell, Saturday, 11 June 2022 12:38 (two years ago) link
rip
― the cat needs to start paying for its own cbd (map), Saturday, 11 June 2022 17:53 (two years ago) link
i wayback machine'd it, you should too?
― budo jeru, Saturday, 11 June 2022 18:30 (two years ago) link
https://web.archive.org/web/20141015103013/http://revolutionaryphilosophycommittee.wordpress.com/2014/09/01/a-communist-critique-of-polyamory/
― budo jeru, Saturday, 11 June 2022 18:31 (two years ago) link
thanking u!
― sarahell, Saturday, 11 June 2022 18:42 (two years ago) link
Those who engage in polyamory speak about loving multiple people, yet they never once ask the question, ‘what is love?’
badiou don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more
― sarahell, Saturday, 11 June 2022 18:44 (two years ago) link
― budo jeru
at least we don't have to content with a baeddelian critique of polyamory (lol as if such i could even imagine a self-identified baeddel who wasn't poly)
― Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, 11 June 2022 20:34 (two years ago) link