The Mormons

Basically I just want some reporter to ask Romney about if he's wearing magic underwear right now for the ensuing lulz.

Yes. Yes, he is.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/02/14/article-2100995-11BCBB68000005DC-11_468x330.jpg

As someone who will likely be baptized posthumously into the Mormon church, I just look at it this way: in the afterlife, I'll open up my wallet and there'll be an LDS card. And much like the expired Books-A-Million card I have in my wallet now, I'll go "the fuck is this, I'm never going to use this!" on occasion before sticking it back in there with my other cards because, let's face it, sometimes I'm on the toilet and need something, anything to read.

no. No one has attacked Reid for simply BEING a Mormon.

yeah, but nevada is a heavily mormon state. wouldn't make political sense to anger mormons in nevada, so reid's always been safe on that score. anyway, i'm not talking about directly attacking romney. i'm talking about subtly encouraging sympathetic jewish and catholic religious leaders to make a big, bloody ISSUE of the post-mortem baptism of holocaust victims and the like, enough to bring it into the news cycle. then the fringier, angrier, "grassroots" elements of the democratic base could run with it like a pack of maniacs - the way the tea partiers ran with obama's birth certificate and the swift boaters ran with gore's war record - all while the "respectable" dem leadership remained above the fray. dirty pool, in other words.

real problem, i suppose, is that the dem base isn't terribly upset by the practice, and don't do outrage for sport. they seem averse to moral outrage on general principle, tbh. so they won't seize on the story organically, and any attempt to conjure up the appearance of a "controversy" without corresponding public anger would probably backfire. ah, well. it was a fine dream...

Obama's mother posthumously baptized into LDS Church

Not only Obama's mother, but Simon Wiesenthal's parents as well

And we've come circle.

Which usually doesn't happen in LDS since everything is for eternity.

haha I should have looked at the whole thread

lol

http://www.lds.org/images/Magazines/NewEra/Archive/neweralp.nfo:o:148b.jpg

omg @ "mormonad"

Yah Mormonads

http://www.lds.org/images/Magazines/NewEra/Archive/neweralp.nfo:o:f2f.jpg

http://www.lds.org/images/Magazines/NewEra/Archive/neweralp.nfo:o:59.jpg

http://www.lds.org/images/Magazines/NewEra/Archive/neweralp.nfo:o:1265.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ykeKGjX7mBg/Tw5Qsw25TAI/AAAAAAAAAr4/1oKRH27eXQM/s1600/MormonAd+Winners.jpg

CHOOSE THE MOST MORMON DRESS

http://www.lds.org/images/Magazines/NewEra/Archive/neweralp.nfo:o:d79.jpg

http://www.lds.org/images/Magazines/NewEra/Archive/neweralp.nfo:o:59.jpg

otm about white-boy slap bass, at least

lol THIS one I can get behind:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iAD82Dlk9GA/Sbhc_-Gc2tI/AAAAAAAABJU/F33pM0cKZpk/s320/Text+Messaging.jpg

Don't text on a date, you dummy!
Heavenly Father is on my side when it comes to phone etiquette.

CELL PHONES ARE KILLING OREM MALT CULTURE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUmuisDK11c&feature=player_embedded#!

WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT LEATHERBYS

Why would you ignore an ice cream sundae?

That's a parfait, get your head in the game!

Went to a v cute and snowy little ice cream shop like that when I went to visit my family. My sister, her husband, and I ended up having loud ~~~ice cream drama~~~ over whether gay people should be able to marry, so maybe the insular and stupid world of texting has its malty place.

http://alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com/

The best thing about that site is how Mormony all the Mormon names are, it's like hanging out in the Tooele cemetery.

I've already converted several Romneys, just by chance.

I would happily accept a gay card for my after-life wallet, if it helps me any.

CELL PHONES ARE KILLING OREM MALT CULTURE
CELL PHONES ARE KILLING OREM MALT CULTURE
CELL PHONES ARE KILLING OREM MALT CULTURE
CELL PHONES ARE KILLING OREM MALT CULTURE
CELL PHONES ARE KILLING OREM MALT CULTURE

hahahahahah!!!!

so many flavors - this was one thing my ex-mormon ex-bf still shares with the religion he was brought up in. He gets super disappointed and a bit snobby tbh when a place that has milkshakes has only 3 or 4 flavors. His 2nd brother is even worse, and would go to Denny's and insist on a blueberry cobbler milkshake, and get irate when the Denny's employee would not indulge him by mixing the vanilla milkshake with a piece of blueberry pie. Pretty sure he's given places bad yelp reviews for not doing this.

There is a definite bittersweetness for ex-Mormons, at death, when their family members have a funeral or post death announcements, etc. Someone from my hometown was murdered recently. Total hard punk rock gal, didn't know her too well except from seeing her at local shows at the bar where old Mexicans hung out. So there's the death announcement, picture of her in lime green eyeshadow and Horus eyeliner and a bondage top, with the message that she's returned to the loving embrace of her Heavenly Father. Probably hasn't been in a church since she was a teenager. Shit is just weird.

Or when another punk friend died maybe 10 years ago. His dad was a Mormon state senator and none of his friends (eg me) were allowed to go to the funeral because we'd "send the wrong impression."

i guess this would be the right place for this...
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/07/10/cat-buried-in-cement-sent-as-warning-from-polygamist-church2/

what i found *most* shocking is this has happened before and the authorities couldn't be bothered to look into it?!

So my brother-in-law, who went on a mission to Minneapolis, was telling me they market a special "missionary friendly" bike called THE LIAHONA:

http://www.themissionarydepot.com/shop/bicycles/liahona-missionary-bike-package-1-liahona-27-speed-bike-with-disc-brake/

He loved that it was called the Liahona because he could make jokes all the time whenever they got lost – "Sorry I couldn't get it to go the right direction."

Mpls has a rep as a bike friendly town but his mission president made them wear full suits in the summer on their bikes, which has to be hell no matter how nice your bike paths are. He admitted the first ten days on bike in suits were a painful challenge to adjust to.

He also served in Prince's area – I was like 'omg did you knock on the door of Prince's mansion." He said no, but that one of Prince's neighbors was an inactive member (meaning her name was on the records but she quite participating), so they visited her a lot to cajole her to attend church. She said one day that Prince had visited HER door as a JW missionary, and she went head-to-head with him on Bible precepts for two hours.

!!!!

dunno if this ever got posted here: extreme mormons. (full segment on the subject of mormon movies here.)

http://www.themissionarydepot.com/shop/microfiber/microfiber-tie-style-40/
"Microfiber ties are a blend of polyester and polyamide and they are durable as well as stain resistant. Just what every Missionary needs. - See more at: http://www.themissionarydepot.com/shop/microfiber/microfiber-tie-style-40/#sthash.YbfDK7fj.dpuf";

not a bad tie for $8!

This may sound flip, but it is really, really not: nothing prepared me for North Korea so much as having lived in Utah.

OK I should amend that to say that visiting the Kims Il Sung and Jong Il would have been a lot more strange had it not been for my years of Mormon proximity.

er they were lying in state. never hung with them personally. that really would have been something.

quincie, can you explicate?

Yeah I'm sorry, that was not well put. Mormonism is not a repressive communist dictatorship! I should have been a better job saying what I mean.

What I mainly mean is:
1) visiting the Kumsusan Palace of the Sun, where the first two Kims lie in state, had a lot of similarities to visiting the Temple in SLC. Which I didn't get to visit, obv, because I am a non-Mormon! But I have gone to multiple temple visitors centers, and my parents and I talked a lot about their visit to a per-commissioned (<<<not proper terminology, I think) temple; they toured the whole thing before it was officially a Temple open only to Mormons in good standing. Anyhow, the whole thing--from the architecture to the interior and exterior decor to the artwork hanging inside to the formal and reverent atmosphere to the "OMG what the hell is this" attitude of outsiders (i.e., us)--the only touchpoint I had was my experience with the Mormon church as a non-Mormon in Orem, Utah.

OK and 2) the isolation/insulation from outside culture. This was so huge, bigger than I even expected, in North Korea. Obviously, mainstream Mormons are not in anywhere near the same situation. But I lived in small-town Utah before the internet, and the situation was. . . a little bit similar in some ways. I'm sure it is different now. But the norms of "outside" were not well-integrated into small-town Mormon Utah in the mid-80s. And, as of five or seven years ago, very much not integrated into FLDS communities such as Colorado City, AZ. That was the place in the U.S. that most closely resembled NK ime.

Ha, I srsly predicted you were going to say NK people were really into storing grain.

Which you didn't; my prediction was wrong.

xxpost hahah no, I don't think they have the luxury of storing much anything. But living in Utah had a PROFOUND affect on my parents' food-buying, which continues TO THIS DAY. Actually, I'm visiting them now and was just directed to the "food storage" pantry they have in their garage. They go into that stuff waaaaaaay before the advent of Costco, etc, why b/c Utah!

Did I make any sense there? I really don't feel superior or dismissive about either Mormonism or NK! Just not communicating very well, because both experiences were really whoa.

nope, that makes a lot of sense.

Oh you made total sense and you never came off as dismissive about either! I was just curious!

There are million reasons why I would love to go to NK with you, Crabbits, but your Mormon background would just make it soooooo o_O I just know it! Juche philosophy may seem pretty distant from Mormonism, but the cultural values have a lot of similarities. In a lot of good ways, and some. . . not so good (see: insularity, anti-feminism, etc.)

Plus someone who was fucked up on drugs grabbed me by the arm the other night and insisted that I agree with her that I AM KOREAN. It's a sign!

I imagine that North Korea is srsly the Last Frontier for Mormon missionaries! Holy shit I don't even know how that would go down; not well, I suspect.

They are so dying to get there because there's a prophecy that says the second coming of Christ won't happen until missionaries can teach in every part of the world.