greatest amazon reader reviews ever

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True enough, September 2, 2011
By E. Cohen (Occupied territory of Maine) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Conservatives Without Conscience (Hardcover)
I almost never buy books and seldom read them cover to cover. I have no complaints about this one and have quoted it from time to time. Still, I have not finish reading it and probably won't.

coal, Tuesday, 3 July 2012 10:02 (eleven years ago) link

nice

dis civilization and its contents (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 10:19 (eleven years ago) link

Have not used it yet., May 10, 2011
By E. Cohen (Occupied territory of Maine) - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Lexmark 16 10N0016 & Lexmark 26 10N0026 Compatible Remanufactured 10N0202 Combo Pack - 1 Black & 1 Color Ink Cartridges (Electronics)
All I can say is it arrived timely and was affordable. I still have not finished the first good cartridges ordered from Amazon. So far so good. Amazon will not let you publish without a star rating, so I gave it 5 stars just for price and shipping. Can't say anything about performance, but now I can delete the review request from my inbox.

r|t|c, Tuesday, 3 July 2012 10:40 (eleven years ago) link

Dunno, February 15, 2011
By E. Cohen (Occupied territory of Maine) - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Solgar - Wild Oregano Oil Softgels - 60 (Health and Beauty)
Arrived sooner than promised and exactly as ordered. As to its immune boosting properties, my illness has continued unabated.

r|t|c, Tuesday, 3 July 2012 10:40 (eleven years ago) link

1HP Wasteking disposal, July 1, 2009
By
E. Cohen (Occupied territory of Maine)

dis civilization and its contents (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 3 July 2012 10:44 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...
one month passes...

http://www.amazon.com/review/R3RQQ6IU7WR4OC/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R3RQQ6IU7WR4OC

245 of 281 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars True Tips: Owned for four months (and updated), October 7, 2011
By
coolreviewer1 "coolkayaker1"
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Sphere Gadget Technologies SP9882 Lightphoria Sad Light Therapy, 10,000 Lux (Health and Beauty)
First, this light is super-zany bright. It's blink your eyes bright, but not all weepy like "be a kitten and pass me the Kleenex" bright. But, it throws no heat. It's odd. Even the chassis doesn't get hot. Not like my halogen lamp which almost set the sprinklers off when it charred my pastrami sandwich wrapper. This Lightphoria by Sphere Gadget Technologies is cool as a summer cucumber.

If you click on the company, Sphere Gadget Technologies on the Amazon listing for this light, they make only this freaking light! Shouldn't it be Sphere Gadget Technology, then? This is, strangely enough, version 2.1-- I had diet Dr. Pepper come out of my nose when I noticed that. I'm sure there's been significant upgrades since version 2.0. Many of you are thinking now, "Maybe I should wait for version 3.0? Maybe it'll be thinner. Or have 10,500 lumens or something." I wish I could answer that for you, but those buggers at Sphere are one tight-lipped group.

Okay, but how's it work, you ask? I first used this light near my face at work for about two hours every morning for over a month straight as a test. It could be placebo effect, I have no idea, but I feel more alive all day at work. Not stand on my desk and beat my chest like Tarzan alive, but pretty close.

I'd think that, if it was only placebo, it would have worn off after a couple weeks. And I'm not that gullible for placebos and such. Sure, sometimes I'm down to my last nerve, and everyone in the office is plucking it. But, I'm no patsy.

The used car salesman who sold me the PT Cruiser with oatmeal in the transmission said it best when I pushed it back into his lot: "You, buddy, are just too cunning." God, that's rich. Trust me, he was as nervous as a hog at a luau when I bought my next car from him. I have that effect on people, I really do.

You're going to catch some major flack when you first place this 6 inch by 6 inch meteor on your desk, let me tell you. I thank the Lord that the unique novelty of the light has worn off and my co-workers no longer look at me like I've got a blood-sucking tarantula in the middle of my forehead. They've stopped saying, "Hey, Jersey Shore, you're tanning only one side of your face." Or, "Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close up." Or, "Mind if I reheat my coffee next to your 'gloomy lamp'?" Or, "Okay, okay. I confess. I'm the one that stole your mojo. Now turn it off, I beg you." Honestly, could I make this stuff up? A real witty bunch of intellectuals, they are.

Why the stars deduction? This is a cheaply built light. It's lightweight, but made of thin plastic. It feels like one drop on the floor and this thing will smash to pieces. The cord has a transformer on the wall end that takes too much space, and it attaches via a jack plug to the light that looks flimsy as heck. Hit the jack, break the light. This light feels like something you could win at the water-gun horsie race booth at the county fair, right next to the lead paint cupie dolls and the stuffed bear that smells like formaldehyde and has one eye dangling on a loose thread.

So, when you get the light, do an experiment: ask your friends and co-workers, how much do you think this light costs? The answer will be around $20. Sure, you could argue 10k lumens takes some LED bulbs and what not. But when I can get a full floor lamp with bright natural light for 1/2 this price, this little thing is pricey. Frankly, the only reason I didn't buy the cheaper floor lamp is that my co-workers would probably call the asylum if I sat at my desk for two hours each morning staring at a floor lamp only 8 inches from my kisser.

In addition, the different intensity settings on this Lightphoria are useless. Low, medium or high, the brightness changes little. I use it on the brightest setting, regardless of how bummed out I am on a particular day.

Will I use it? Let's just say that sometimes my attitude stinks stronger than a startled skunk hit by a dirt clod. I'll admit it.

So, yep, the light seems to make me feel better about myself. And when I feel better about myself, I treat those around me like human beings. So, yes, it helps. Will it break? Probably. Is it worth the price to feel like a six year old on a long summer day? If it keeps working, sure.

I feel light as a feather now, you know, getting all this heavy stuff off my mind. I might even take a morning off from using the old strobe in the face. On second thought, I'd better at least give myself a 30 minute "booster" to ignite that twinkle in my eye. And I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not addicted to light box therapy. Sheesh. Get a grip, will you.

UPDATE!!!: Jan 21. Okay, I've had it now for several months. I have not budged it from the corner of my desk for fear that I will break it. I have not smashed it yet. I even tuck the cord under the corner of my desk with Scotch tape to prevent one of my unhappy colleagues from stumbling on the cord and yanking my $60 light off my desk and smashing it and then saying, "Hey, I'm sorry. I'll replace it -- here's twenty bucks. Keep the change and buy yourself a cup of coffee."

The big question, do I still use it? Answer is: yes. The lights are still bright, no burned out LED bulbs, and still strong beams in my face every morning at my desk for 90 minutes. If I've got a big meeting or something, I might stare at it for an additional 30 minutes, but by then my eyeballs feel like two Fig Newtons, so I stop.

I really appreciate the timer feature for 15, 30 or 45 minutes. Without it, I might get distracted and leave the thing on all night and the janitor would think some blind lunatic sits at my desk.

I don't know if it's the lamp or the one lb. bag of peanut M&M's in my desk drawer, but something gives me a smile. Something is preventing me from meandering down to the company boiler room, throwing my necktie over a waterpipe and kicking a desk chair out from under myself. So, I guess, all in all, I'm happy I bought this light.

A cute girl in the corner cubicle just got this same light. She never asked me about it--it just appeared on her desk one morning. She's cute as hell, with curly red hair and an ice cream scoop dimple in the middle of her chin.

But, her eyes look like two burnt holes in a blanket. No wonder someone gave her this "pep" light. And, just so you know, even with light box therapy, she still avoids me like fresh paint on a park bench.

I do not have clinical depression or SAD, so if someone has those conditions, ask your head shrink about using this light. I, honestly, have no idea if this light, plus a fistful of prescription pills, will be enough to ward off depression. I know that wolfbane inhibits werewolves, and that spinach makes Popeye strong as a kicking mule. Those are scientific facts.

But, I haven't the foggiest notion how this light will affect you. I'd help you if I could, though. I really would.

My review is for us folks who get the blues from dank office conditions while schlepping the old "ball and chain" for "the Man" to earn a measly paycheck that's barely enough to buy a hot pizza pie, a six pack of liquid "therapy", and this Lightphoria lamp. Then, we sit like brainless twits in the stinging glare of this light to burn on a "game face", and do it all again the following week.

Cheers to you all! Don't be all bummed out, like me. In the summer, stare at the sun until you're weeping like a newborn. In the winter, eyeball this flimsy light until you see rows of LEDs on the backs of your lids in your dreams. Your wallet will be lighter, but your day will be brighter.

Please have a bright day!!!!!!!
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borscht and bikinis (how's life), Thursday, 11 October 2012 10:53 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B002ATI4VG/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk

4.0 out of 5 stars A triumph... 1 April 2011
By barkas
From the moment you remove the cap you realise you're in for a treat. Fresh, bright, smoky, with a mineral edge and rounded, fruity nose. Midweight and bold, possessing some edge and no little bite, yet remaining smooth, balanced and satisfying. This is a drink to enjoy with friends in a park. Highly recommended.

I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Saturday, 22 December 2012 15:20 (eleven years ago) link

5.0 out of 5 stars Look great, feel great December 27, 2012
By Alberto
Color Name:Navy/Blue|Size Name:Medium|Amazon Verified Purchase
The material is very comfortable; soft and smooth. I have an athletic figure. I'm around 5'8", weigh 158, and have a 32" waist. I love to run so I have pretty big legs. That's why it's been almost impossible for me to find a pair of underwear that I like. All other underwear have either bunched up, given me wedgies, ridden up, or have failed my manhood in some other form. I ride a bike when I'm taking classes so these do get pulled up, but they are not uncomfortable. Sometimes I don't even notice it.

They've never given me wedgies and I haven't had to adjust myself down there in public yet. They're sort of like a compression short boxer-brief hybrid. The style of these looks great. They make me more motivated to keep improving my body because these are not meant to complement a figure that's not athletic.

So far they've been pretty durable. All things considered--quality, value, comfort, look, etc..--I would recommend these to anyone who is looking for better underwear.

too many encores (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 4 January 2013 15:41 (eleven years ago) link

what are the odds that Alberto has an underwear blog

Angel Haze is my hero (DJP), Friday, 4 January 2013 15:55 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

Excerpt from a Kava tea review:

For those interested in using Kava, you should know that the threshold dose for feeling any effects of from kava is about 150mg of kavalactones- keep in mind that this is considered a low dose. One bag of Yogi's Kava tea contains just over 20mg of active ingredients (kavalactones). At lower doses around these levels I have noticed slight mental relaxation and occassionally very vivid dreams. Doses of 300mg (which equates to about a full box of Yogi tea) and much higher are more effective for relief of anxiety and muscle soreness, and are more typical of the dosage in traditional use by Pacific Islanders.

When I use this tea I always use between 10-16 TEABAGS PER CUP! This looks ridiculous while steeping, but makes sense considering Yogi only puts about 1/8 of a dose of Kava into their bags. Unsurprisingly, the suggested dose of 1-2 bags has been totally ineffective for me. When brewing the tea as strong as I do, I find that it is effective, delicious and requires no sweetener. Flavor can be improved (personal taste) by the addition of some milk or cream. It makes me laugh to read Yogi's instructions to add "another" teabag (for a total of less than 50mg kavalactones) after a stressful day. People, use at least half a box if you want to feel anything other than a placebo effect!

your fretless ways (Eazy), Thursday, 28 February 2013 14:58 (eleven years ago) link

http://www.amazon.com/Chefn-102-205-017-Bananza-Banana-Slicer/product-reviews/B004HINHKQ/?_encoding=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&tag=happyexposure-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957

I had no idea. LITERALLY no idea that bananas could be sliced. For MY ENTIRE LIFE I have simply peeled and chewed bananas.

BUT NOW...NOW...I can have my bananas SLICED. perfect little banana discs!!!! PERFECT BANANA DISCS

I put them in my coffee, have some arranged along the windowsill so walkers by can marvel, I EVEN TRIED THEM ON CEREAL DELICIOUS!!!!

I ordered TWO MORE! One for the boat and one for the garage.

THANK YOU!

sleeve, Thursday, 28 February 2013 15:23 (eleven years ago) link

Oh, the banana slicer is like a whole thing now: Amazon's banana slicer is fruitful fodder for hilarious customer reviews

Also, for some reason, someone has been mailing them to librarians: http://branch.com/b/the-day-that-a-bunch-of-librarians-got-banana-slicers

ARE YOU HIRING A NANNY OR A SHAMAN (Phil D.), Thursday, 28 February 2013 16:03 (eleven years ago) link

this is a good review of "The Great Gatsby"

http://www.amazon.com/review/R20W2719AMEV1U/ref=cm_cr_pr_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000FC0PDA&linkCode=&nodeID=&tag=

frogbs, Thursday, 28 February 2013 23:49 (eleven years ago) link

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51NhtW9exnL._SX342_.jpg

2,089 of 2,119 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars They called me crazy, but who's the giant horse now?! November 5, 2010
By R.L.R.

Amazon Verified Purchase

Durability: 4.0 out of 5 stars Educational: 5.0 out of 5 stars Fun: 5.0 out of 5 stars

This mask imbues the wearer with super-human abilities. The power to make everyone around you feel akward and uncomfortable being first among them. After wearing the mask for several days my identity was consumed and replaced. There is only the horse now. Best purchase I ever made.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 28 February 2013 23:53 (eleven years ago) link

nine months pass...

By Pamela Adams - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Capitalist Realism: Is there no alternative? (Zero Books) (Kindle Edition)
I loved his Instant Millionaire book but just could not get into this book for some reason - we have to try it another day

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Thursday, 26 December 2013 18:22 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

"Amazon Verified Purchase
I guess I underestimated what 6-inches was! These are bigger than I suspected. They are great, though. Retract and lock easily, nice colors, sharp blades!

I use them for everything from cutting wrapping paper to cutting stitches to opening boxes. I'm very pleased with my purchase. "

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Friday, 7 March 2014 14:14 (ten years ago) link

By Pamela Adams - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Capitalist Realism: Is there no alternative? (Zero Books) (Kindle Edition)
I loved his Instant Millionaire book but just could not get into this book for some reason - we have to try it another day

lolololololololol

Prostitute Farm Online (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 7 March 2014 14:20 (ten years ago) link

" always use between 10-16 TEABAGS PER CUP! This looks ridiculous while steeping"

I do this with regular tea

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Friday, 7 March 2014 17:41 (ten years ago) link

in response to a negative review:

Initial post: Sep 25, 2006 7:46:18 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 25, 2006 7:47:10 PM PDT

Da Veeper! says:

Eat pop & die! Hirax rule!

Neanderthal, Thursday, 13 March 2014 19:53 (ten years ago) link

pop rocks

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Thursday, 13 March 2014 20:58 (ten years ago) link

nto reader review, came in amazon email but i was amused

"(I am Lisa as a representative of CustomerService Department,if you are satisfied with my service,you can give commentssuch as“Lisa is good”"

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Thursday, 13 March 2014 20:59 (ten years ago) link

"Lisa needs to take remedial English"

espring (amateurist), Thursday, 13 March 2014 21:50 (ten years ago) link

Spending the equivalent of 3 GB pounds is the same as a big mac meal, so just give it a try.

ian, Thursday, 13 March 2014 22:46 (ten years ago) link

WORKED AS EXPECTED FOR ONE WEEK AND SHORTED OUT, FAILED, TRIPPED GROUND FAULT BREAKER. UNPLUGGED HEAT TAPE AND CIRCUIT OK. WEATHER TOO INCLEMENT TO INSPECT TO DATE.TOO COLD,ICE, & SNOW NOW. HAVING TO LET WATER RUN TO KEEP FROM FREEZING.

allcaps is how we roll

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Thursday, 20 March 2014 23:59 (ten years ago) link

"I really don't know if it is one star as we didn't use it as it was the wrong sized cable.Within an hour of making this purchase I realized I did not order the right thing and tried to cancel it. Amazon said they would put my request through to the company and I never heard back, was charged for the cable and it was sent. My next move is to try to return the item.

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:01 (ten years ago) link

" Love the color, especially because my husband won't touch the "pink pump", and I always know where it is. He bought his own. Not as good as mine. "

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Friday, 21 March 2014 15:19 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

These days, 2011, horror films are just filled with blood and often no good plots and poor acting. This film is totally different; it is not great but a very good average type where one can understand what is happening and realistic and frightening. Well worth it!

sʌxihɔːl (Ward Fowler), Tuesday, 10 June 2014 10:22 (ten years ago) link

http://www.amazon.com/Boyfriends-Daddy-Humiliation-Cuckolding-Erotica-ebook/dp/B00DT85CEE/ref=pd_sim_kstore_5?ie=UTF8&refRID=0YPKV1GGDFEBHX4G5CA1

"DAM it...if this ain't one hot read....had to go hide in private to finish this one..a lot of humiliating cuckoldry,and just pure hot FILTH!"

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Friday, 13 June 2014 00:22 (ten years ago) link

This is good enough though: "This 9700 word story contains explicit descriptions of a BDSM human dairy cow roleplaying scenes, complete with milking, suckling, domination, and submission, not to mention lots of warm, sweet squirting milk. It is intended for ADULTS ONLY."

Funk autocorrect (cryptosicko), Friday, 13 June 2014 01:43 (ten years ago) link

"...and cows. cows can read it too."

I dunno. (amateurist), Friday, 13 June 2014 07:53 (ten years ago) link

I'm hoping that all of these reviewers live far, far away from me.

Funk autocorrect (cryptosicko), Sunday, 15 June 2014 00:21 (ten years ago) link

I hate to see what my "Related Items" are gonna look like for the next little while after viewing all of these.

Funk autocorrect (cryptosicko), Sunday, 15 June 2014 02:59 (ten years ago) link

HAha - you shoudl be exicted - they are so great - I could go on all day with these

http://smile.amazon.com/Too-BIG-her-LITTLE-HOLE-ebook/dp/B00KJP32YM/ref=pd_sim_kstore_20?ie=UTF8&refRID=0YC55ZFXENMKCX1X9M0C

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Sunday, 15 June 2014 16:14 (ten years ago) link

somebody saw the Peterotica episode of Family Guy and thought "why not?"

Naamloze vennootschap (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 15 June 2014 16:58 (ten years ago) link

lolz

fetishes make my day

"Drunken shoe;ess Step Uncle and the Sweaty 50 Yeard old Bald Virgin"
etc

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, 16 June 2014 15:24 (ten years ago) link

The Curvy Optometrist and the Billionaire Parking App Developer

Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Monday, 16 June 2014 15:27 (ten years ago) link

I still really like "The invisible condom"
interesitng that so many are about getting pregnant - is that a female turn on?

Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, 16 June 2014 19:50 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/0nlI5T0.jpg

, Monday, 14 July 2014 20:17 (nine years ago) link

haha i laughed so hard at that

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 14 July 2014 20:31 (nine years ago) link

ten months pass...

From _Pounded By The Gay Color Changing Dress_

http://www.amazon.com/Pounded-The-Color-Changing-Dress-ebook/dp/B00U398KY6

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
Chuck Tingle Is The Most Dangerous Man Alive!
By Kevin Lintner on March 2, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
His writing is more fierce than an uppercut from Rico Slade. His erotica is hotter than the blast coming from Godzilla's bunghole after a night of binging on ghost pepper Buffalo Wings and room temperature Old Milwaukee. If Liberace and Paul Lynde dropped bad Woodstock acid and mushroom stamped the Star Spangled Banner on Divine's butt cheeks, it would be more awesome than this book, but all those people are dead and Chuckle Tingle is alive and roundhouse kicking.

---

But really, the author's entire output needs to be seen:

http://www.amazon.com/Chuck-Tingle/e/B00SF2MTYK/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51XR3M4I5UL._UY250_.jpg https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51QTPgD6piL._UY250_.jpg https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51dlkUus9dL._UY250_.jpg

Purves Grundy (kingfish), Thursday, 21 May 2015 06:51 (nine years ago) link

He needs to write a book called Pounded In The Butt By An Amazon Review Of My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt'" though.

Tuomas, Thursday, 21 May 2015 12:13 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

http://www.amazon.com/review/R2H0CEVY3HM2UK/ref=cm_cr_dp_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B0006GKJ7C&channel=detail-glance&nodeID=165793011

This review is from: Accoutrements Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure (Toy)
I bought this toy for my kid in the hopes of sending a better message than all of those superhero action figures and he just loves it! This day and age, kids are programmed by our government to think that everyone is out to destroy us and that they need heroes to come and save us all. They forget that there are everyday people out there who need a little compassion and understandng.

I make my kids sit down every day for at least an hour and play with the Cat Lady. We talk about what has made her the way she is and we discuss different options of things we might do to help her. We get into conversations about what rle society plays in the creating of these people who seriously have issues and then we practice empathy role play by having our social services action figures come to her aid and get her the help she needs. It has created hours of educational fun for our entire family.

I recommend also purchasing the Albino Bowler and the Obsessive Compulsive action figures as well. We have used a cardboard box and built a small Mental health center/Halfway house where we keep our action figures always getting the help they need from the little doctors and nurses who work there.

This is a great product and I recommend it to anyone who wants to creep out their children and teach them a vaulable lesson about the differences in people all over the world.

Eric Burdon & War, On Drugs (Cosmic Slop), Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:22 (eight years ago) link


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