if i learned anything during that today show interview its: she's never been happier and she's just being herself and if you are being yourself you don't have to worry about anything. also, be nice to people when you are not onstage and no matter what anyone writes about you its okay because you know that you are a good person who treats people well. also, matt lauer is a big dick.
― scott seward, Wednesday, October 9, 2013 1:09 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Saul Goodberg (by Musket and Pup Tent) (s.clover), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:11 (ten years ago) link
^^ fun and worth reading, but I can't find any imagery in those I'd call striking
― Aimless, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 19:02 (ten years ago) link
read the last line as 'also, matt lauer has a big dick' at first, was it was pretty striking.
― There's a lack of... soul on Radio 1. (bends), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 19:03 (ten years ago) link
Same.
― midnight outdoor nude frolic up north goes south (Eric H.), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 19:12 (ten years ago) link
struck by another's jet
― deej snyder (Curt1s Stephens), Sunday, 25 April 2010 05:27 (3 years ago)
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 19:16 (ten years ago) link
Very vivid dream last night that Whiney built a purple flying saucer and took off in California as US ilxors tracked him west to east, but it was revealed after takeoff that it was a suicide mission. Soon it was on the news and the Air Force was tracking him and all of ilx was posting with him, pleading for him to land it safely somewhere. Then he crashed it and died in my backyard (of the house in Alabama that I grew up in, not where I live now). It took about ten people to unscrew the lid off the saucer and retrieve his limp, naked body.
I know it all sounds really weird, and sort of based on the "balloon boy" thing, but it was very sad. Everybody was crying.
I did NOT do any drugs before bed.
― Johnny Fever, Saturday, October 19, 2013 10:31 AM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Treeship, Saturday, 19 October 2013 15:14 (ten years ago) link
can u imagine meeting Oprah
― surm, Friday, October 4, 2013 1:11 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― slam dunk, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 06:22 (ten years ago) link
<3
― stylings (Matt P), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 06:41 (ten years ago) link
also Johnny Fever's dream was harrowing.
After I read Johnny Fever's account of his dream I was going to ask if he had felt the need to check that Whiney was actually still alive after he woke up, but then I looked and Whiney hadn't posted to ilx or his twitter for a couple of days so I was scared to ask in case something actually had happened to him (God forbid). I can see he has posted to his twitter since, so I will ask now if Johnny Fever is reading.
― this is how a punch sounds, like ditch, like quitch (soref), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 07:01 (ten years ago) link
also, semi-related, i just woke up from a dream where a hot new novel was getting lots of critical buzz but the novel was just a chocolate cake that readers were instructed to eat. it was sold in bookstores, however, which distinguished it from cakes sold in bakeries. there was a lot of discussion about whether this was "really" a novel just because the author said it was and in the course of the dream i at first passionately defended it but then was convinced to change my mind and denounced it.
― (emphasis Treeship's) (Treeship), Wednesday, October 23, 2013 9:16 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― A Made Man In The Mellow Mafia (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 19:19 (ten years ago) link
lmao
― lag∞n, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 19:22 (ten years ago) link
hahahahaha
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:22 (ten years ago) link
He woke up to find his bookshelf empty and cake crumbs on all over his pillow
― Moodles, Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:25 (ten years ago) link
treesh will do well to post as well as that again
― HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 21:28 (ten years ago) link
we all will
http://s3.amazonaws.com/quietus_production/images/articles/1994/sir_patrick_moore_1246283574_crop_550x367.jpg
Where the hell does someone even buy trousers like that?
― 'scuse me, while I Rim the Sky... (snoball), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:42 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
If he pulled them up any higher, he'd have to cut armholes in the sides.
― btw didn't i braek ur heart (NickB), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:50 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Just remove the lining from the pockets and put his arms through the holes.
― 'scuse me, while I Rim the Sky... (snoball), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:52 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Yeah, that would also have the secondary benefit of stopping his car keys from chaffing his nipples.
― btw didn't i braek ur heart (NickB), Tuesday, May 1, 2012 11:55 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― this is how a punch sounds, like ditch, like quich (soref), Sunday, 27 October 2013 11:42 (ten years ago) link
Legendary Hearts IS a better song record but it's so austere about its flourishes it's downright Presbyterian; when a solo shows up on "Make Up My Mind" or "Home of the Brave" it's like a favorite aunt serving you wine.
― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 7, 2013 8:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Fetchboy, Friday, 8 November 2013 06:07 (ten years ago) link
The thing is, a lot of the appeal of vinyl is how cool it is. Not hipster cool, really, but it feels cool to put a record on cos they sound good and look good, and for sure there's a kind of joy in participating in a ritual of aural reproduction that goes way back, and a lot of record players - vintage and modern ones alike - look great in the home and blah blah blah.
When I go to visit my mum, a pristine woman whose house looks like a mid-range hotel, I'm always shocked to visit her bathroom. She has these air fresheners set up that periodically spray their stuff, often right at me as I'm doing a piss or worse. I don't know whether they're on a timer or there is some kind of motion detection going on, but it is definitely uncool. I can't really bring it up, but I am tempted to tell her that these attempts to obliterate all that is unpleasant in life make me feel weird. I gotta take a shit, mum, and I don't like to be made to feel unwelcome while I do. Furthermore, I understand that you have to take a shit from time to time, and if you're trying to use technology to hide this fact from everyone, it's failing - I can think of little else when I'm in there. I imagine you shitting and the panic you must feel at being revealed as a person who commits these violations of familial order. What's more, I'm inclined to introduce the smelliest, most virulent and unflushable shit into your bathroom and see how your systems can deal with that. It's really a provocation.
That's how I would think of anyone who had one of these record players in their house.
― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, November 17, 2013 5:59 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark
― Mordy , Sunday, 17 November 2013 23:19 (ten years ago) link
i don't particularly mind the fleet foxes record tbh but they do sort of remind me of the guy that got expelled from my school for allegedly bunking off PE to go and hump a log in the woods behind the sports hall
― but my heart is full of woah (NickB), Monday, November 18, 2013 10:12 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― too much Michu, not enough meta (DJ Mencap), Monday, 18 November 2013 13:01 (ten years ago) link
Not exactly 'knockout', but when I was 17/18 I was walking down the street and some ten year old kid came up to me and said "Do you need something?" and I was like "what?" and he repeated "Do you need something?" with gritted teeth emphasis on "need" and I was "what the hell are you talking about?". Then he threw a baby's dummy in my face and ran away.
― fashionably early Christmas themed display name (snoball), Thursday, November 21, 2013 9:17 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― lollercoaster of rove (s.clover), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:31 (ten years ago) link
My memories of visiting WDW exactly seven years ago (as a bratty 16 year old):
MGM Studios being the best thing ever (apart from the weird Drew Carey ride/experience). Massive shouts to the Aerosmith Rock'n'Rollercoaster ("GET READY TO MERGE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER MERGED BEFORE"). The Indiana Jones stunt show being better than pretty much any film (even if the mime who warms the crowed up did racist mimes at one point). Watching some form of Thanksgiving/Christmassy firework show.
Getting weirdly teary at the Magic Kingdom show when everyone has a go at Donald Duck for some reason but we all learn that DREAMS COME TRUE! Obviously seeing the castle for the first time is a real woahhhh moment. Going on the old time steamboat thing and, again, finding it weirdly emotional. Queuing for hours for the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride behind a girl who looked just like Maeby Funke in a Dr Pepper T-shirt and not being able to stop myself from looking at her throughout.
Typhon Lagoon being as much fun as anyone can have involving water.
The repeated shouts of OPA OPA OYSTER!!! at Seaworld/getting to ride the Kraken about 6 times in a row at the start of the day because there was zero queue. My mum CRYING at the Shamu show/us beinbg sat next to a very patriotic American who alternated between heartfult salutes and whoops and spitting on the floor.
Animal Kingdom being really shit because we went on the log flume kind of thing and I was the only person in our boat to get absolutely drenched and it really did ruin my day. Didn't even enjoy going on the safari thing and seeing the gorillas.
REFUSING TO SWIM WITH DOLPHINS AT DISCOVERY COVE. I lost my glasses that day too.
Other memories of my only American trip to date:
Spending Thanksgiving itself at this park with a big old house in it nearish to Kissimee that also had a river full of manatees and gar and being wowed by seeing manatees just hanging out. We had a lasagane for dinner purchased from a Walmart.
Going on a boat trip on the everglades and my mum flirting with the captain. We didn't see any alligators sadly.
Blasting Power 95.3 (ORLANDO'S NEW NUMBER ONE FOR HIP HAAAWP) and hearing My Love by JT/I wanna Love You by Akon/Showstopper by Dainty Kane on repeat all day every day and loving them. Also endless adverts for Fazolis.
Driving back from Kennedy Space Center and seeing dolphins jumping about in the water. Also liked Lee, the guy who drove the shuttle bus around the center, top #bants ("please take all of your valuables when you leave. That includes your children, folks." "shake an alligators hand with me. five dollars.")
Eating absolutely joyless dinners in Sizzler and Golden Corral.
― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Monday, November 25, 2013 7:18 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Monday, 25 November 2013 13:36 (ten years ago) link
Also, being corny, I picture Soma as a Cloud Giant, thousand-yard towering D&D humanoid made of mist and storms. Lighting twitches through his slowly roiling body, spills ceaseless from his eyes. His weightless fist, the size of a village, comes down a hurricane, soft as it is terrible, a mile-wide swath of ruin in his wake. I like the feeling and image. It's not something I get from much other music.
― CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Wednesday, December 11, 2013 11:20 AM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― DNP-dizzy (weatheringdaleson), Wednesday, 11 December 2013 17:56 (ten years ago) link
Night on Bald Soma
― pplains, Wednesday, 11 December 2013 17:57 (ten years ago) link
come on, that's just a saruman speech right?
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 11 December 2013 18:48 (ten years ago) link
that dwight yorke post is amazing
― My Chief Keef Keef (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 11 December 2013 19:54 (ten years ago) link
i keep thinking about people telling you how the beach boys never actually liked surfing, apart from dennis, & wondering what it would be like if middle aged kells had actually lost interest in sex, infrequently pursued women, hadn't talked to anyone for a couple of weeks prior to the cover shoot for this record, just asked dutiful questions about the girl's career & was kinda glibly professional, only concentrated on pussy as a distillation of his muse
― love mike love (ko komo) (schlump), Wednesday, December 11, 2013 5:38 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― kyenkyen, Monday, 16 December 2013 16:29 (ten years ago) link
5. Mrs Mooney, 11th grade English. Now, if your uncle's friend had just offered YOU a book deal, you got A-pluses in all your elective Humanities subjects (journalism, World Literature, Theatre Arts, Cinema, blah blah) and you were skating around the edge of the Minneapolis artypunk scene, would you look kindly on being given C's by some patronising prannet who all the other teachers had informed you was on tranquilisers? You have to be really shit as an educator for the STAFF to take against you in conversation with a student. I felt like Someone Was Jealous and was pretty focussed on getting A's as I was plotting my escape (noble cause) rather than being a big swot. The one- two punch of telling her she was doomed to teach a syllabus until her eventual early retirement on mental health grounds when my book APPEARED on that syllabus and going 'Oh! My grandmother told me about what happened at the Commodore Hotel back then!' when I spotted the family namecheck in the Great Gatsby (party scene, natch) scored major smartarse points with fellow students and the woman eventually backed down. Aced the final. Eat my dust, baby.
― suzy, Sunday, November 4, 2001 1:00 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Dolly Dilly Dally (soref), Thursday, 16 January 2014 21:52 (ten years ago) link
wowww
― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 17 January 2014 15:55 (ten years ago) link
Anecdote kind of horrible to the poor woman who committed the cardinal sins of being a crap teacher AND having emotional problems (hmm wonder if the 2 are related, well let's give her a kicking for it anyway eh) but damn you can't fault suzy as a raconteuse, can you?
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 16:23 (ten years ago) link
is that french for 'knows people'
― j., Friday, 17 January 2014 16:24 (ten years ago) link
Now, if your uncle's friend had just offered YOU a book deal
― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 17 January 2014 16:25 (ten years ago) link
Nepotism beats anxiety in the top trumps of life. Take that, loser!
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 16:29 (ten years ago) link
― suzy, Sunday, November 4, 2001
― badgers moved the goalposts (dowd), Friday, 17 January 2014 17:27 (ten years ago) link
Did suzy ever become a famous author?
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 17 January 2014 17:53 (ten years ago) link
well, she met a lot of famous authors - does that count?
― Mordy , Friday, 17 January 2014 17:57 (ten years ago) link
suzy is Lena Dunham?
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 17:58 (ten years ago) link
Suzy Sontag maybe
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:00 (ten years ago) link
And what exactly do you arseholes seek to do here, except proving yourselves as "ILX posters with striking inanity", huh?
― you're still in love with me and you don't know why (Branwell Bell), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:10 (ten years ago) link
i'm just here to read about lena dunham
― j., Friday, 17 January 2014 18:13 (ten years ago) link
for the record I put that post here because it might be my favourite thing I've ever read on ilx, not to sneer at anyone
(I kind of share some of wins' reservations about it being mean to Mrs Mooney, but that paragraph is just undeniable)
― Dolly Dilly Dally (soref), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:16 (ten years ago) link
xxp soref read an old post that he thought was strikingly written, I agreed and added that suzy is a great poster for that but that I thought this particular story as told was shitty for the reasons stated (and I'm right about that fwiw), some ppl made jokes, treeship asked a question. I'm not beefing, I don't know about anyone else.
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:17 (ten years ago) link
xp See! Soref is one of the nice posters, I think it would have helped to know that. Not every c&p is snark
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:19 (ten years ago) link
considering change my dn to 'one of the nice posters', so people won't mistake my c&p's for snark
― Dolly Dilly Dally (soref), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:22 (ten years ago) link
― you're still in love with me and you don't know why (Branwell Bell), Friday, January 17, 2014 1:10 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
oh, just go away
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:23 (ten years ago) link
suze rules, yall need bigger cunts
― just (Matt P), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:24 (ten years ago) link
soref you & nakh could do a "good c&p bad c&p" routine
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:24 (ten years ago) link
I didn't realize suzy was an active poster i thought it was a one-off from a long time ago and I thought it was mean spirited so i was being snarky
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:25 (ten years ago) link
I'd be making a rod for my own back the next time I absent-mindedly post something cuntish, though
― Dolly Dilly Dally (soref), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:26 (ten years ago) link
suze rules
suzy is a great poster
I feel like there's a way we can both be right matt
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:28 (ten years ago) link