come on, that's just a saruman speech right?
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 11 December 2013 18:48 (ten years ago) link
that dwight yorke post is amazing
― My Chief Keef Keef (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 11 December 2013 19:54 (ten years ago) link
i keep thinking about people telling you how the beach boys never actually liked surfing, apart from dennis, & wondering what it would be like if middle aged kells had actually lost interest in sex, infrequently pursued women, hadn't talked to anyone for a couple of weeks prior to the cover shoot for this record, just asked dutiful questions about the girl's career & was kinda glibly professional, only concentrated on pussy as a distillation of his muse
― love mike love (ko komo) (schlump), Wednesday, December 11, 2013 5:38 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― kyenkyen, Monday, 16 December 2013 16:29 (ten years ago) link
5. Mrs Mooney, 11th grade English. Now, if your uncle's friend had just offered YOU a book deal, you got A-pluses in all your elective Humanities subjects (journalism, World Literature, Theatre Arts, Cinema, blah blah) and you were skating around the edge of the Minneapolis artypunk scene, would you look kindly on being given C's by some patronising prannet who all the other teachers had informed you was on tranquilisers? You have to be really shit as an educator for the STAFF to take against you in conversation with a student. I felt like Someone Was Jealous and was pretty focussed on getting A's as I was plotting my escape (noble cause) rather than being a big swot. The one- two punch of telling her she was doomed to teach a syllabus until her eventual early retirement on mental health grounds when my book APPEARED on that syllabus and going 'Oh! My grandmother told me about what happened at the Commodore Hotel back then!' when I spotted the family namecheck in the Great Gatsby (party scene, natch) scored major smartarse points with fellow students and the woman eventually backed down. Aced the final. Eat my dust, baby.
― suzy, Sunday, November 4, 2001 1:00 AM (12 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Dolly Dilly Dally (soref), Thursday, 16 January 2014 21:52 (ten years ago) link
wowww
― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 17 January 2014 15:55 (ten years ago) link
Anecdote kind of horrible to the poor woman who committed the cardinal sins of being a crap teacher AND having emotional problems (hmm wonder if the 2 are related, well let's give her a kicking for it anyway eh) but damn you can't fault suzy as a raconteuse, can you?
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 16:23 (ten years ago) link
is that french for 'knows people'
― j., Friday, 17 January 2014 16:24 (ten years ago) link
Now, if your uncle's friend had just offered YOU a book deal
― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 17 January 2014 16:25 (ten years ago) link
Nepotism beats anxiety in the top trumps of life. Take that, loser!
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 16:29 (ten years ago) link
― suzy, Sunday, November 4, 2001
― badgers moved the goalposts (dowd), Friday, 17 January 2014 17:27 (ten years ago) link
Did suzy ever become a famous author?
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 17 January 2014 17:53 (ten years ago) link
well, she met a lot of famous authors - does that count?
― Mordy , Friday, 17 January 2014 17:57 (ten years ago) link
suzy is Lena Dunham?
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 17:58 (ten years ago) link
Suzy Sontag maybe
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:00 (ten years ago) link
And what exactly do you arseholes seek to do here, except proving yourselves as "ILX posters with striking inanity", huh?
― you're still in love with me and you don't know why (Branwell Bell), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:10 (ten years ago) link
i'm just here to read about lena dunham
― j., Friday, 17 January 2014 18:13 (ten years ago) link
for the record I put that post here because it might be my favourite thing I've ever read on ilx, not to sneer at anyone
(I kind of share some of wins' reservations about it being mean to Mrs Mooney, but that paragraph is just undeniable)
― Dolly Dilly Dally (soref), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:16 (ten years ago) link
xxp soref read an old post that he thought was strikingly written, I agreed and added that suzy is a great poster for that but that I thought this particular story as told was shitty for the reasons stated (and I'm right about that fwiw), some ppl made jokes, treeship asked a question. I'm not beefing, I don't know about anyone else.
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:17 (ten years ago) link
xp See! Soref is one of the nice posters, I think it would have helped to know that. Not every c&p is snark
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:19 (ten years ago) link
considering change my dn to 'one of the nice posters', so people won't mistake my c&p's for snark
― Dolly Dilly Dally (soref), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:22 (ten years ago) link
― you're still in love with me and you don't know why (Branwell Bell), Friday, January 17, 2014 1:10 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
oh, just go away
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:23 (ten years ago) link
suze rules, yall need bigger cunts
― just (Matt P), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:24 (ten years ago) link
soref you & nakh could do a "good c&p bad c&p" routine
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:24 (ten years ago) link
I didn't realize suzy was an active poster i thought it was a one-off from a long time ago and I thought it was mean spirited so i was being snarky
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:25 (ten years ago) link
I'd be making a rod for my own back the next time I absent-mindedly post something cuntish, though
― Dolly Dilly Dally (soref), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:26 (ten years ago) link
suze rules
suzy is a great poster
I feel like there's a way we can both be right matt
― beef in the new era (wins), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:28 (ten years ago) link
I liked the suzy post! I thought this thread was largely for well-written posts, which it was.
― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 18:33 (ten years ago) link
"Haven’t sold a wrap in so long."
"No one remembers how to make one.”
― lollercoaster of rove (s.clover), Monday, 20 January 2014 16:28 (ten years ago) link
every once in a while, i think of the albino hat and i start cracking up. i guess it could also go on the posts that haunt my thoughts thread.
I found myself submerged into the "dark web," where I could fully indulge in my dual pleasures of human trafficking and buying exotic leather goods. i bought gloves made from the skin taken from the back of a young cambodian girl. they were gorgeous. i was hooked. i bought more. a beautiful leather wallet with prison tattoos that i keep on a chain, taken from the thigh of a russian hustler. i bought a hat made out of an albino. it felt good.
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 4:53 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Jibe, Monday, 20 January 2014 17:10 (ten years ago) link
posterity will little note nor long remember what we tweet here. even the NSA won't gaf.
ilx as an archive of emphemeral thoughts resembles that paul bunyan story where the winter got so cold that words froze as they were spoken and were swept into the corner of the room, where, when the spring thaw came and the words melted, they just made a cacophonous babble.
― Aimless, Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― lollercoaster of rove (s.clover), Sunday, 26 January 2014 05:12 (ten years ago) link
I have had two telemarketers call up asking for my wife, and both asked if I was her butler. I guess it must be the accent, but still- how many people in Berkeley have butlers?
― adaml (adaml), Thursday, October 23, 2003 2:47 PM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Sunday, 26 January 2014 07:41 (ten years ago) link
the suzy was posted bcuz it had striking imagery it just happened to also be a pvmic
― flopson, Sunday, 26 January 2014 19:52 (ten years ago) link
who is suzy irl
― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Sunday, 26 January 2014 19:55 (ten years ago) link
was "adaml" adamrl?, aka nordicskilla, & if so, is it too ilx.xls to note this poster's ethnic origin & so eligibility for almost cartoon butlerishness?
― mustread guy (schlump), Sunday, 26 January 2014 21:16 (ten years ago) link
― lollercoaster of rove (s.clover), Saturday, January 25, 2014 9:12 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
*makes jerk-off motion*
― just (Matt P), Sunday, 26 January 2014 23:59 (ten years ago) link
about as striking as cold oatmeal
― just (Matt P), Monday, 27 January 2014 00:02 (ten years ago) link
this is not a place for judgment.
― lollercoaster of rove (s.clover), Monday, 27 January 2014 00:28 (ten years ago) link
I came across your sad little site today fuck off punks If I wish to slap tits on my arse it is my business-
― Pete Burns, Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:42 (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Pedro Mba Obiang Avomo est un joueur de football hispano-ganéen (nakhchivan), Monday, 27 January 2014 00:31 (ten years ago) link
what will i ever do if i get banned from this hive of assholes
― just (Matt P), Sunday, January 26, 2014 7:22 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
only because it made me think of the trypophobia thread.
― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Monday, 27 January 2014 00:38 (ten years ago) link
i can't even describe the full horror of what i wore as a teenager but the fedora/trilby was the least of it
― regret it? nope, said it? yep (Noodle Vague), Saturday, February 1, 2014 11:07 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
there was purple, there was yellow, there were beads, there were fingerless gloves, there was flowing curly locks, there was various earrings
look back at it now like it was somebody else doing it
― regret it? nope, said it? yep (Noodle Vague), Saturday, February 1, 2014 11:09 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― eric banana (s.clover), Saturday, 1 February 2014 17:03 (ten years ago) link
haha
― balls, Saturday, 1 February 2014 17:26 (ten years ago) link
Dave Lee Roth, Prince and prog rock have a lot to answer for
― regret it? nope, said it? yep (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 February 2014 17:28 (ten years ago) link
Cheney: Bumhearted pussy doesn't know what tough is. W.: Dullard, arrogant puppet. Acts tough, but he's a pussy.Ashcroft: Religious fanatic, couldn't get any pussy. What a pus.Helms: Racist redneck. Product of the worst part of the pussy South.Lott: Redneck. Helmet-hair dumbass good ol'boy. Cheerleader pussy.Frist: Pussy killer. Can't get any more pussy than killing pets. Strom: If there is a Hell, your pussy ass is definitely roasting.DeLay: Exterminator of what? Pussy fireants and roaches. Texas trash pussy. Dickless Armey: Bought and paid for son of a bitch. Texas trash pussy.Bob Barr: Drove girlfriend to abortion. Hypocritical pussy.Fuck you you fuckin' fucks!
― Pussy Getter, Friday, August 20, 2004 6:53 AM (9 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Republican Pussy List:Cheney: Bumhearted pussy doesn't know what tough is. W.: Dullard, arrogant puppet. Acts tough, but he's a pussy.Ashcroft: Religious fanatic, couldn't get any pussy. What a pus.Helms: Racist redneck. Product of the worst part of the pussy South.Lott: Redneck. Helmet-hair dumbass good ol'boy. Cheerleader pussy.Frist: Pussy killer. Can't get any more pussy than killing pets. Strom: If there is a Hell, your pussy ass is definitely roasting.DeLay: Exterminator of what? Pussy fireants and roaches. Texas trash pussy. Dickless Armey: Bought and paid for son of a bitch. Texas trash pussy.Bob Barr: Drove girlfriend to abortion. Hypocritical pussy.
Fuck you you fuckin' fucks!
― Pussy Getter, The Toughest Guy There Is, Friday, August 20, 2004 6:53 AM (9 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― soref, Saturday, 1 February 2014 18:15 (ten years ago) link
^^ post's images should be viewed in one of these:
http://www.turtlepointpress.com/mgzne/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/1JC-Stereopticon.jpg
― Aimless, Saturday, 1 February 2014 18:21 (ten years ago) link
I have a rockabilly haircut
― waterbabies (waterface), Friday, February 7, 2014 11:17 AM (37 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― charitable remainder unitrust (crüt), Friday, 7 February 2014 16:18 (ten years ago) link
my whole worldview just got turned upside down by that
― sXe & the banshees (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 7 February 2014 16:20 (ten years ago) link
eh, waterface off a duck's arse
― night boat to mega therion (NickB), Friday, 7 February 2014 16:25 (ten years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/ppsDAk1.jpg
― |$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅| (gr8080), Friday, 7 February 2014 18:12 (ten years ago) link
waterface is c. ott
― eric banana (s.clover), Saturday, 8 February 2014 03:03 (ten years ago) link
also holy shit ugggghhhh I think the dudes in this episode are literally THE FUCKING WORST type of gay men, like I cringed any time any one of them opened their mouths and one of them actually said the word "naughty" at one point and I wanted to cut my dick off and go live in a temple― "Jiggle It" - 2 in a Zoo (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 9:57 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― "Jiggle It" - 2 in a Zoo (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, February 19, 2014 9:57 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― Virginia, Plain and Tall (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 20 February 2014 04:27 (ten years ago) link