"Flow my QUEERS / FALL from your springs" - an autumn tea dance, 2014

Does this dick make my butt look big?

I hitch my pants up about 40x daily; plz tell me there is a biological reason. (I'm not losing weight either, bcz I believe pizza is part of my pharmacopoeia.)

I never have to do that. My big ass butt keeps them up.

I am big. It's my pants that got small.

falling face-first into ass

this is how i want to die tbh

also: hello hey hi

"Is the Rectum a Bouncy House?"

Finally I'm feeling like I'm behaving like a gay man and can't we all type about it?

Finally?

Welllllll yeah? Considering I've spent the last five years embracing and feeling good about my non-male queer headspace, any time I find my face in a man's ass I'm a little surprised

cant say that switching from full beard to mustache has really garnered me any more male attention but let me tell you, older women absolutely LOVE it

you are def oozing retro class

"are my hips getting wider or is my cock getting smaller?"

braggin 2014 but i lost like ~40 lbs this year and it was like i was rewarded with additional length as a bonus.

like not even a lot but enough for me & my bf to notice.

sorry that post was probably obnoxious tmi. ive been away from ilx and ive missed you all, so of course i start by relaying status updates about my penis.

I've missed these threads, TMI and all!

More penis posts!

I'm trying to type about What The Fuck Happened To Me over the last couple months but it's tough to get it right, I will save posting it til tomorrow

swole thighs def pop mah dick out

xpost

All good, I hope--though "What The Fuck Happened To Me" is less than encouraging.

http://i.imgur.com/fwN2oiz.jpg

thighs kinda swole tbh

No, WTFHTM is entirely positive but it's hard to get the details right. Most of you who know me even a little bit know that I’m a sex-prude, that I’m Grindr-scared and monogamous with few or no exceptions. I hear about the sexcapades of my friends with increasing envy. But now for the third time ever in my life I’ve felt emotionally liberated by the intentions of the bodies of others and I wanted to share that with you homos.

Oh, good! Share away!

(when yr ready, of course)

looking good sailor! xxp

tyvm :]

Every time I get momentarily liberated it just doesn't end well.

But I'm happy for thigh pics.

My big ass butt keeps them up.

rejected "Anaconda" lyrics

I was dating a dude and then we broke up and now shit's mildly weird but still okay

also the other day I hooked up w/ that guy that I was dating that stopped dating me to be bf's with my ex and then they broke up so then I banged him! It was v fun!

i have also become a bit more exhibitionistic in the interval as if that was not already obvious

steve are you interested in resuming a relationship with dude or?

oh heavens no

no to all previous dudes

harsh but fair

"no to all previous dudes"

you're so wise.

except you

jeezus this thread is going to be Looking now eh

(which i haven't seen)

i'm not previous yet!

also I went to Fire Island for the first time this summer; that's p gay, right?

there's an undeveloped mile-long wooded stretch connecting the two gay areas and it's called The Meat Rack and I was lazily strolling through at like 9:30 or 10 AM, like REALLY early for strolling around Fire Island I'd think, and some dude STILL tried to cruise me! But he was really boring looking so I just smiled and nodded and kept walking

i saw guys blowing each other in broad daylight there 2 summers ago

(it was a Saturday, tho)

my boyfriend went to fire island for the first time, too. he was only around the gay areas for a day but he stumbled into witnessing semi-public ass eating in full daylight.

that's called 'brunch'

hardcore braunch

Looking good, sailor

OK OK, so I was travelling for the past three weeks with a gay couple. The two of them were dead affectionate to each other, all cuddles all the time. At first the joy was infectious and I loved travelling with them. I felt elevated in a vicarious way. They were so different from me and my boyfriend. I have been physically away from my boyfriend for nearly two years. He has mostly been a frustrated voice on the phone. He has never been the affectionate type and I like that, it hardens me and makes me sharp. But here I am in the back seat while these two gays cuddle and laugh and take care of each other, and after a week of feeling good about it, I start to feel a pressure in my stomach, and I start to feel isolated and alone.

I started to think, “why is that affection not in my life?” I started to feel-deeply the things I’d sing every night, and think they were uniformly coming from a place of frustration, from a place of upset. All fierceness, no sweetness. I thought of a recent conversation-over-tea I had with ILXor anthony, where he sighed and told me my writing and singing voice was cold and unemotional. I thought of another loveable shithead who cuttingly and devastatingly described me as some kind of gay robot that he felt no empathy towards. We listened to the new Perfume Genius in the van and I thought I was maybe not playing enough to type. I thought of the couple in the front seat, holding hands while driving, massaging each other’s shoulders while resting, and I started to think: “maybe these people have a point. Maybe I have no affection in my life. Maybe this is why my songs are written in anger. Maybe this is why I still live hand-to-mouth. Why I break-even on my tours. This is why I should quit.”

But then suddenly and surprisingly the gay couple invited me into their bed. They were at first curious and then enthusiastic. The affection extended outward to our waking life. We started cuddling on the bus rides. We slept together in the same bed every night. We lay together in the grass in Texas and drew closer and closer until we were a bundle. We went book-shopping and read poetry over each other’s shoulders. It was two-weeks of total barf-inducing splendour.

Every day I called home and told my boyfriend every detail. He knew I’d been through a year of depression and he was super-encouraging. His only regret (and mine) was that he wasn’t there also to enjoy their company. He finally did arrive, and we had a foursome, which I’d never done before, but was amazing because nobody for a moment felt left out.

Now I'm back home. The glow is wearing off. I’m not sure if the arrangement is over. Nobody wants it to be over, but distance is putting it on a break. Strong winds are tossing my head, I’m writing three to four hours a day. Two of my friends recently and independently told me (incl. former-ILXor Alex in MTL): “fgti, you don’t believe you deserve good things and that’s why you get so weird when things are good.” But for a moment I felt like I deserve good things. I didn’t feel that my depression, my financial precariousness, that any of those issues were a result of me or my own failings. I felt happy about my spiky boyfriend and his spiky ways, and I’m happy my work is the way it is, all tuff love, all business. And I felt good, for the first time in years, about being a queer, that I could experience stuff like this and have no feelings of guilt or dysfunction afterward.

Not to be flip, but have you sung about that yet?

My two best friends are a couple and I still don't fully admit to wishing that they'd invite me into their lives that way.

About what? Feeling good about queerness? Not to be Kristevan but all my songs are already about that

Eric why don't you ask them?

We listened to the new Perfume Genius in the van and I thought I was maybe not playing enough to type. I

and a very good thing you're not

I fucking love that guy and his music forever and ever into the sun. Toronto is filled with queer bands and queer artists and many of them are my friends. I have always personally tried to be third-wave about things and not get explicit about sex organs and bodies except as punchlines. But then there's Perfume Genius who's basically a stack of Dennis Cooper and Mishima novels with every line underlined until the paper's worn through and of course he kills himself at the end of the video but it works, it really works, it's beautiful without being corny, mostly because it is so unsubtle and blunt, and suddenly I feel like I've for years been a jaded shithead to my queer musician friends in their bunny and wolf outfits and their powerpoint presentations

if the senior bus is rocking, dont bother knockin

I'm going to meet an ex for a drink. We had a violent romance, but now we're grown ups.

12 years ago

oh my

Embarking on a week-long road trip this week with someone who I wonder about sometimes ... that way.

are you two... friendly?

http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/linake/1048668/4855/4855_original.jpg

Knowing Eric it's gonna be a nonstop raunch sex romp

Holy shit stevie

what???

fgti, the joke is that eric has stated on multiple gaythreads his disinterest in that kinda stuff

I was referring to his dn

That drink went fine. We caught up, filled in gaps in memory, laughed at the awful people we once were, and I saw a picture of him naked.

Whereas I was the more "functional" one in the relationship, he was the one who wound up married and owning a home in Connecticut. But then his husband got a taste for meth and took in a houseboy and he (my ex) fled. :(

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e128/ilxalbums/imagejpg1.jpg

My Hogmanay party might not turn out quite as epic as the (ahem) teaser... but I'm sure it would if you were all to come over.

Imagine that!

that's one of my favorite photos ever

Who are you at this party jed_ ?

Mine too clouds.

II'm grace. Always. You?

Divine as always

the joke is that eric has stated on multiple gaythreads his disinterest in that kinda stuff

:D

You guys know me too well.

at least yr "persona," shug.

http://www.mulholland-drive.net/screencaps/persona_two_faces.jpg

Well, in this case at least it was already a so not gonna happen. No additional resistance was nec from my corner.

what did the road trip teach you about America?

You can get good cocktails in any top-20 metro area.

how many of those did you cover?

You can always put a cocktail where your cock oughta be (as I have).

In a (gl)ass.

The Food and Drug Administration announced on Tuesday that it would scrap a prohibition on blood donation by gay and bisexual men, but would keep a block on donations by men who have had sex with other men in the last 12 months.

WELL MY WHAT A BIG CHANGE

We can have that winter thread now.

Well, it was getting tiresome saying no to the blood bank vampires and throwing back I'M GAY just to watch them cringe from embarrassmetn.

WELL MY WHAT A BIG CHANGE

Actually ...

fine i'll meet you at the Red Cross

had what was supposed to be just a quick/immediate sex thing w/ this dude from Scruff on Sunday night (it was rly, rly good fyi) but we've been talking all day every day since then and he's a poetry professor and has 2 nose rings and is just really charming and sweet and I'm trying really hard not to get ~feelings~ but idk! We made plans for dinner and a movie soon so that's nice.

WINTER

www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=101244#unread

good on the poetry prof then!

Also I finally got to fuck someone to the new Soft Pink Truth album which was equal parts hot and funny.

I tried this and he was not having it. Owen's album went down a lot smoother (actually I've fucked a couple people to that one).