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Funny I was just thinking about this thread today.
What's happened? Well,a few arguments about what's going on with our r/ship whenever I get drunk enough to bring the issue up with him in a roundabout sort of way. He insists we're fine, I cry and get confused and can't say what I really mean or mean what I am saying. and I seem to have fallen into a depressed funk as is my wont and am now too scared and dependant to think about leaving him.
WTF is wrong with me?
― sailor moonie, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 01:57 (twenty years ago) link
Love is not drama and pain dressed up as passion, love is comfort and comfortable.If you think of love as "settling" then this is not the right relationship for you - because YOU are not ready to accept love for what it is, rather than what you want it or expect it to be
So is Kate right or not (with the qualification about "settling" not being the right word)? Surely it's not merely comfort(able), as for most people there is a rather large group of people who would fit said description?
― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 04:57 (twenty years ago) link
what is it that is missing for you sailor, apart from the drama-quota? Is it a lack of 'spark'?
I was with the same guy for 17 years, and that spark was there more often than not during that whole period, in that I felt it in my belly' so to speak.
we aren't together anymore and i no longer feel that for him ( long story ) but I am just wondering if you are in a space of not 'not settling' for something but perhaps trying to make something fit that really doesn't?
just because it seems right and comfortable doesn't make it the best thing. This isn't to say that massive drama / passionate arguments / intense whatever-stuff are necessary for a real love relationship, because that isn't true, but if you are feeling a tad um...blanded-out? by it all, then it maybe better for you to spend some time on your own and figure out what it is that you DO need from a love relationship.
spark counts! it may not be fireballs and supernovas but drifting along in something that 'feels' mediocre is not fair to either party.
maybe a short spell apart could help?
*love* as a thing is too difficult to define, as far as I am concerned, but I do know that when I have felt it, I bluddy well knew it big time! even though it wasn't an explosion of hollywood-type luuuuuuurve.
― donna (donna), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 05:49 (twenty years ago) link