X Factor (UK) 2014

There's enough of them singing that there could be a 'school choir' effect kicking in - many crap singer blending together into a passable voice. But OTOH I wouldn't be surprised if they were being assisted by some BVs.

"I can see the Milky Way
and it seems so far away"

*snickers*

Yet another terrible group song tonight. Not sure exactly what Ben was going for but it sounded incredibly painful.

Cannot believe we had a second chance to get rid of Stereo Kicks and it didn't happen. Pretty amazing that their sympathy bounce from last week didn't last longer than a whole week. Just shows that this band are just not going to happen. I was amazed Simon opted to send them home. Maybe he's finally had enough of them too? Before the results came in it was a bit sneaky of him to say "They didn't have the right song last night" Why didn't he say that on the show last night? Anyway, obviously Mel is to blame for all of this. I've not been a fan of Lola at all but her sing off was really good and Stereo Kicks put in yet another rubbish performance.

This week's theme: Queen vs Michael Jackson ffs

https://31.media.tumblr.com/2c10bc20f49367537deb5c4b02fe42fa/tumblr_mlio67wvxG1rnr47go2_250.gifhttps://31.media.tumblr.com/2c10bc20f49367537deb5c4b02fe42fa/tumblr_mlio67wvxG1rnr47go2_250.gifhttps://31.media.tumblr.com/2c10bc20f49367537deb5c4b02fe42fa/tumblr_mlio67wvxG1rnr47go2_250.gif

Paul been best in this for the last two weeks at least yet he's bookies favourite to go.

His appearances so far in the live shows are from the Gary Barlow school of 'excitement', ie total boredom. I'm not convinced by his performance primarily because Paul's not convinced of his performance.

The went for Paul last week was kind of brutal. He actually went up in my estimation when he stood up to Simon. It wasn't quite Will Young levels of brilliant but it showed that he cares a lot more than it sometimes comes across. He's not exactly the most exciting singer but out of the remaining Matt Cardles I'd take him over Jay and Ben easily.

Supposed to say The way they went for Paul last week there..

Well there we go. Paul starts to show the slightest glimmer of a personality and it gets stomped out by Louis 'Dreamcrusher' Walsh.

i didn't see last night's but this was mighty depressing. that soldier guy sounds like a fire alarm going off without being able to hit the notes.

Can't believe how easily the show is making its targets clear and them taking them out with such ease. There's no way Paul should have gone over Jay. Giving him that song and putting him on first was so blatant. Can't believe they had the chance to get rid of the two worst acts in the last couple of weeks but kept them both in. Fuck this show really.

Stereo Kicks are unbelievably bad. I don't understand how or why the judges don't admit it.

When the time comes, they will chow down on them. (excl Louis, being mentor, obv)

I take solace in the families on Gogglebox eviscerating them.

Like last week, when they were in the sing-off?

BIG BAND NIGHT
oh... hooray

Big band rendition of 'Oh Fortuna', thank for pissing in my ears, X Factor.

I blame Robbie Williams for all of this.

They've Wangerised Stevi. Also ffs Ricky Martin is not big band music.

Wanger's version of 'She Bangs' was way better than this. It may have been totally WTF but it had energy, while Stevi's performance had none.

Andrea, Fleur, and some of Lauren's performances aside, this series has been a real climb down, even from last year. Like Rough Copy sounded like The Four Tops crossed with The Commodores crossed with Public Enemy by comparison.

Like I actually feel a weirdly sepia toned nostalgia for Gary Barlow bellowing "That was an arsey anthem!".

Double elimination this week, because no-one's fucked up enough to get kicked off the show already like Frankie Cokehoser.

They've Wangerised Stevi.

The thing is that Wanger could actually sing when Louis would let him.

You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter. And feathers.

it's all fallen apart

Goodbye Stevi, probably at the right time. I enjoyed him, in a sense. The twuntishness comments upthread are fair, of course, and he didn't make even this series' low bar for competence but there's a bit of pathos in many twunts, and it seemed the greater part of him – the bloodhoundy look, genuinely slightly flustered by being near dancers, the passion for dismal songs from musical theatre. He seemed a good-hearted and disappointed sort (though I haven't followed the press); and I like there being at least one empty vessel for full-on Friedman spectacles hanging around. The Bohemian Rhapsody was a highlight; Saturday's I'm Still standing was a good way to go. Producing hosts for ITV2 is another of the jobs of this 'singing competition', and he'll do. I just hope he doesn't really think Simon is his friend.

I came to like Only The Young in the last three weeks (totally solid Monster Mash) and was sorry to see them go. Judges otm, they did have energy!

Really no-one I love or loathe left.

Andrea's diminishing returns continue to diminish. Technically the best? But it's mannered, and marred by the quieter sections, where I hear some syllables, but none of it is really recognisable as words.

Haenow's(*) fine – seems like a nice guy, can't stand his voice. I think Simon's plan for him is 'an English Adam Levine', which sounds nightmarish, but good luck to him anyway.

Stereo Kicks. This might actually be starting to work (after however many weeks of one judge or another telling us that this was starting to work/they were starting to gel). If they don't actively fuck up I think they can make the final. Still feel vaguely threatened by the sheer number of them (especially when leaping around, punching, hugging after going through), but it added something to their Mack the Knife.

Lauren. Totally solid singer but as I say upthread there's something a bit unsettling about her personality. Hasn't knocked me out in a while and I think Happy/Teardrop in… Week 1?… might be her best moment.

Fleur. Now my favourite, sort of by default. I get mildly irritated with the judges treating her as the second coming of beyonce, but she is a solid all-rounder. Seems decent as well, so I hope she wins – I think her or Ben would prob make the most of it, ie figure out how to exist with the machine.

*Apparently, he's a van driver from Croydon.

xpost

lol yeah I should also add that this has been a desperately grim and dull series and they should shoot it the head asap.

Haenow's(*) fine – seems like a nice guy, can't stand his voice. I think Simon's plan for him is 'an English Adam Levine', which sounds nightmarish, but good luck to him anyway.

If they don't play the chorus of Don't Dream It's Over when he goes then someone's missed a trick.

Their uptempo version of "Something about the way you look tonight" reminded me and Alice of:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azU6bqM26zg

Ben missed a trick on Big Band Night:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRhYBTzPOcc

I came to like Only The Young in the last three weeks (totally solid Monster Mash) and was sorry to see them go.

I didn't like their version of 'Monster Mash' much, but they seemed to be getting some traction in the last couple of weeks. A bit ridiculous that they didn't get to face off in a sing off against Stevi, because then they'd surely still be here next Saturday. I put it down to there being no Cokehoser types this year.

Stevi - The singing car salesman. He lasted a long time, but that's more to do with what a weak year it's been. It's not like he even got through week after week at the expense of better singers.

Andrea - diminishing returns is exactly it. Maybe having him in the sing off against Stevi will force him to change things up/around a bit next week.

Ben - his tune-free mangling of 'I Will Always Love You' brought to mind Danyl, although his trashing of Whitney was caused by his arrogance. I don't understand who's voting for him?

Lauren - the emblandening at the hands of Cheryl continues. Lauren's almost as boring a singer as her mentor now.

Stereo Dicks - Big Band week was their high point, especially since I thought that they'd make a mess of 'Mack the Knife' but managed to salvage something from it. Despite what this week's VT would have us believe, it's too late to try and graft personalities onto them at this stage. I still think half of them could disappear and no-one would notice.

Fleur - unless Andrea really pulls something out of the bag next week, Fleur's got this contest sewn up. She's got a good voice, and has the versatility to tackle a wider range of material compared to Andrea.

Final three: Andrea, Fleur, and either Lauren or dicks(o_O)dicks. The boys might make for a more interesting final, in terms of entertainment if not musicality.

I'm still seeing Ben in the final. Wouldn't be surprised if he actually wins the whole thing really.

Might as well give my thoughts on who we have left.

Ben - I've never been a fan as that whole authentic rock voice has always grated on me. Interesting the comparison to Danyl when vocally he's much more similar to Jamie Afro. The look he has on his face when he's getting negative feedback is really starting to get to me. It's a smirk that makes him look like he's not taking them seriously (In some cases he shouldn't but still..) Every time it comes to his interview on Xtra Factor they always sing a bit of Don't Dream It's Over straight after. Would be a good idea for him to sing it on the show.

Andrea - I haven't seen the producers out to get someone this much since Christopher Maloney. They've tried killing him with kindness, painting him gold, having rays shoot of his eyes and worst of all his offensive VTs that are full of him being treated like a total novelty (They had fucking Shaddap Your Face in his VT this week!)I've seen people comment on the fact they always show him stuffing his face with food each week which seems kind of unflattering. His song choices are predictable and making him seem like a one tricky pony. I wouldn't be surprised if he topped the vote those first few weeks by a long way and since then they've been doing a lot to get rid of him.

Lauren - Dark Horse should have been a big moment for her but since then she's basically turned into Lola as a performer. Lots of wobbly vocals and absolutely no stage presence. She doesn't even have the tears or the fish to make her slightly memorable like Lola did. Totally agree that she peaked with Happy/Teardrop in week one.

Stereo Kicks - Guess I'm on my own thinking they are the worst things about the show. Still miming the choruses each week and instead of just letting two of them sing maybe four/five of them get lead vocals to which the judges say "We got to hear you all individually" No we didn't. The main singer pulls the most unflattering face when he goes for the big notes. Simon has been spouting the same shit since week one "I really feel you're starting to become a real band" "We're getting to know you all now" It's bullshit. He's pushing them as hard as he did with Danyl back in 2009. I'm just hopeful they'll go the same way as he did. The smile Simon does when he gives them a standing ovation (Every fucking week) fills me with rage. He's clearly thinking "I made this happen" and clearly thinks they will be the new One Direction. Don't let me down general public.

Fleur - She is my favourite by a long way but honestly if she'd been in the 2008 or 2010 years (My two favourite series) she wouldn't have stood out at all. She's yet to have her big moment since the judges houses. Lots of solid performances but no sign of her proving she's an amazing singer or anything really special as a performer (Alexandra and Cher are my two favourite contestants ever) I would be happy if she won but I'm not sure I can see it happening yet despite Simon making it clear she's the chosen one. Think she does have a similar feel as Alexandra and Little Mix as a contestant, not in a similar style but in the way there was no hype for her at the beginning and she's kind of gone ahead of everyone else without it being really obvious. If she can just do a Don't Let Go or a Candyman this week that would be great.

I'm absolutely amazed this series has been just as bad as last years. I really thought they'd get it right this year.

One of the highlights for me (which probably won't happen anymore) is when Simon has given his "You're shit, go away" final statement during the performance prior to an act going out, then they play their highlights and there's Simon going "You're wonderful, you might win", Mr Fickle, right?

Oh, having not watched the series I didn't realise Ben/Don't Dream It's Over was already a joke. Soz.

I'm not exactly proud that I know that. Watching X Factor is one thing but watching Xtra Factor is clearly a cry for help. Judging by his reaction when they sing it he has obviously had to put up with it a lot through his life.

Well this was slightly more interesting than last week, but not by much, and even then that's not really praise. Fleur would be my pick to win now, although clearly Andrea is going to walk it. She'll still get the full backing of Syco anyway, judging by her pre-performance clips. Laurel's voice sounded a bit croaky during the first song, but I would prefer her to be in the final three instead of Ben and his reprise of the super manipulative VTs.

Fleur was excellent tonight. I think she might win it now and obviously is the one who will have a career rather than just an album of covers. Andrea was in the bottom two a couple of weeks ago so I'm not sure he'll win it although I think it's likely. Lauren will be out tomorrow. I can't see that there's any market for a teen singer that can't/won't dance or even perform in any real sense. She moves around like a decrepit.

I think there's more of a market for a teenage singer that young teenage girls can relate to than there is for a guy who puts ill-fitting RAWK stylings on everything. The last XF contestant who did that was Jamie Poodlehair and he only came seventh - more proof that this show has been getting increasingly diminishing returns.

I agree on all points.

I take it tomorrow is not a bottom two/ sing off?

Fleur doing Uptown Funk was probably my favourite performance on the show since Ella doing Believe. Sadly I still think Ben is going to take this.

conclusive proof that "Wrecking Ball" is 10x the song "Hallelujah" is anyway

The staging for Andrea's 'Wrecking Ball' was the best bit of set design since the 'Big Brother is watching you' backdrop behind one of Chris Baloney's performances in 2012.

"TWO LIVES LEFT...."

Ben through?
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120829003851/theonefootinthegrave/images/c/cc/IDNBI.jpg

Shit is on.

And by 'shit', I mean 'a shit load of filler'.

have a feeling Andrea will go tonight :(