Almost always "I'd like the ____" for me. Splits the difference between authoritativeness and politeness.
I was once at a restaurant where the server was listing the specials, and she kept saying "And then we have my porchetta with mashed sweet potatoes," "next up is my ricotta gnocchi," stuff like that. I didn't have the nerve to ask her what "my" meant at the time, but then a month later I saw a Popeye's commercial where the actress playing the Popeye's employee did the same thing but with fried chicken and biscuits. Probably just a bit of branding-speak that got dropped as soon as they caught the collective side-eye.
― A Smedley Adoption (get bent), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 01:37 (eight years ago) link
like she's just come out of the kitchen to let you know what she's cooking up?
― j., Wednesday, 8 July 2015 01:38 (eight years ago) link
(This was not a mom-n-pop place where the chef/owner would have also been the server.)
― A Smedley Adoption (get bent), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 01:39 (eight years ago) link
*points to different server* how is his ricotta gnocchi?
― e-bouquet (mattresslessness), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 02:26 (eight years ago) link
i hate rehearsed waitstaff spiels so much. i understand that it's easy but if you're doing one like i heard today that branched off from "have you been here before?" with an unabridged tour of appetizers, entrees and drinks which is v chili's imo i'm going to judge you, though i definitely won't make a point of it or under-tip. hard to begrudge the wispy burner youth with shooting star earrings her upsale dollars but damn if it isn't grating. tbh i often have earbuds in while eating lonely table-for-one meals so i can ignore other peoples' conversations and waitstaff interactions and just focus on comfort eating. this post is 6 / 10 on sadness scale.
― e-bouquet (mattresslessness), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 02:44 (eight years ago) link
sounds like you could use some chicken tenders
https://www.guernicamag.com/daily/helen-rosner-on-chicken-tenders/
― j., Wednesday, 8 July 2015 03:01 (eight years ago) link
"And then we have my porchetta with mashed sweet potatoes," "next up is my ricotta gnocchi," stuff like that.
such weird creepy grammarfirst person singular identification of employee with workplace, like waiter in the flesh before you is instantiation of borg
― drash, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 03:10 (eight years ago) link
xp i had mint chocolate newman o cookies instead, a whole package of them, but i definitely appreciate that article.
― e-bouquet (mattresslessness), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 03:16 (eight years ago) link
that chicken tenders article is great; it's a food without a history but it has really clear and strong associations for people. it also gets at something that's an open secret among a lot of cooks and chefs and food critics: that very often when they get off work, cheffy food is exactly what they *don't* want. they want salty, greasy, simple stuff that isn't cerebral or imbued with zen balance or whatevs.
― A Smedley Adoption (get bent), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 21:46 (eight years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wJz9slJKV8
― transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 July 2015 14:47 (eight years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Monday, 13 July 2015 00:01 (eight years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 00:01 (eight years ago) link
"how bout a ..."
― how's life, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 00:14 (eight years ago) link
PROVED RONG BY SCIENCE, SIS
― j., Tuesday, 14 July 2015 00:42 (eight years ago) link
"gimme some of that..."
― how's life, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 00:50 (eight years ago) link
this is like every language learning tape. yo quisiera.... i always say can i get. i don't know why. i always feel weird when waitstaff say they "will be taking care of" me.
― computer champion (harbl), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 00:50 (eight years ago) link
maybe this is a PNWism bc i don't see anyone else complaining about it, but i really hate "i'll do a ..." which i often hear when people are ordering drinks. "what can i get you?" -- "i'll do a pbr" or whatever.
― Clay, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 01:15 (eight years ago) link
"I will dine on your..."
― jmm, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 01:16 (eight years ago) link
"Shovel _____ into my maw"
Or please shovel if I'm feeling nice
― not a garbageman, i am garbage, man (m bison), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 04:56 (eight years ago) link
"do you do...(x)?"
― transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 08:10 (eight years ago) link
"right um I'd um could I um the steak please um if that's ok"
― thomasintrouble, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 10:32 (eight years ago) link
Think I make a distinction between special items, and standards, like, "I'll have the soup," but "I'll have a salad."
― it me, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 15:38 (eight years ago) link
"what do you have by way of a.... starter?"
― transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 15:47 (eight years ago) link
when waitstaff say they "will be taking care of" me
translation: give me any shit and you will end up dismembered in a trashbag in the alley
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 15:50 (eight years ago) link
'table 6? they've been taken care of'
― j., Tuesday, 14 July 2015 16:26 (eight years ago) link
― Clay, Tuesday, July 14, 2015 2:15 AM (16 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
could be? i started hearing it a lot once i got out of the pnw and into the sw. wanted to ask them what cave they just got out of
i find 'i'll do a...' or 'lemme get a...' grating
― F♯ A♯ (∞), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 18:11 (eight years ago) link