Star Wars 7 shit talk

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He seemed like a dude who would have more than one iron in the fire, so what else was he out doing before he checked on Vader? Presumably not just reading diplomatic updates.

He's doing a whole bunch of nothing between the prequels and A New Hope; and presumably more of the same in between, albeit with extra tactical concerns after Yavin. Gradually losing his mind, to the extent that he was eventually blown up by his own apprentice after a pathetic failed attempt to turn a relative child, full of hubris, blah blah blah. Classic Nero villainy. His answer to the disaster in A New Hope is to order the acceleration of Death Star #2 (presumably it was already in the works, I mean why only build one) like that solves your real problem. The strategic naval trap he sets up sucks, he still doesn't have any better kung fu that he did when he nearly got killed by Mace Windu, and he's completely unable to prevent his own death via Force 101 maneuvers that are clearly part of the repertoire of every other Jedi in the series.

Guy jerked off for three decades and some change. His uselessness is even more of an argument for Jar Jar Supreme.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 3 November 2015 04:24 (eight years ago) link

between the prequels and A New Hope = between the prequels and ROTJ

man what was I thinking!

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 3 November 2015 04:25 (eight years ago) link

if the book about him and his master (I READ IT, I ADMIT IT) has any truth to it, he was probably doing really boring-ass political manipulation while hoarding jedi and sith artifacts

the recent comics include Lando stealing a ship that ends up being Palpatine's private Sith stash cruiser, and a post-ROTJ one has Luke raiding an Imperial research facility that is studying two tree fragments, apparently all that's left of the tree that was in the middle of the Jedi temple

consolidating and holding on to power sounds boring as fuck when most resistance is crushed

μpright mammal (mh), Tuesday, 3 November 2015 14:50 (eight years ago) link

God, I had no idea so much discussion centered around whether Palpatine threw the fight with Mace Windu.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 3 November 2015 14:54 (eight years ago) link

So in the Sunday NY Times there was a bunch of stuff about this movie/franchise/oh the significance of it all for Gen X and millennials, and apparently there's a villains' ship in TFA called THE FINALIZER. Sounds like a badass kitchen cleaner.

also, Kylo Ren belongs to the Knights of Ren

http://images1.nick.com/nicktoons-assets/shows/images/ren-stimpy/characters/character_ren.jpg?height=363&width=332&quality=0.75

skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 November 2015 16:03 (eight years ago) link

so this thing's out in a little over a month! came round fast.

piscesx, Tuesday, 3 November 2015 20:35 (eight years ago) link

Half a month over a month, yeah.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 3 November 2015 22:14 (eight years ago) link

space racist???

spacist

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 4 November 2015 03:25 (eight years ago) link

Asian trailer hotness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdAUiyeJMFQ

nashwan, Friday, 6 November 2015 13:48 (eight years ago) link

wow, I like how crazy and out of control the lightsabers look, like they are crackling with flame and electricity

too young for seapunk (Moodles), Friday, 6 November 2015 13:51 (eight years ago) link

Haha, was just coming to post that. That shot of the three TIE fighters backlit by the sun is, by itself, better than the entire prequel trilogy.

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Friday, 6 November 2015 13:56 (eight years ago) link

this could probably be a great film if they limited it to lightsabers and space ships flying around, and cut out any characters or dialogue

too young for seapunk (Moodles), Friday, 6 November 2015 13:58 (eight years ago) link

i am getting a little psyched

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 6 November 2015 14:27 (eight years ago) link

Yeah each preview makes it look a little cooler....

One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Friday, 6 November 2015 14:34 (eight years ago) link

TIE fighters at sunset got me interested too. Good grief...

Elvis Telecom, Friday, 6 November 2015 15:06 (eight years ago) link

We're suckers.

One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Friday, 6 November 2015 15:16 (eight years ago) link

I wish to hell I could stop clicking on these things.

how's life, Friday, 6 November 2015 15:21 (eight years ago) link

why, they're cool! everybody relax, this is gonna be cool! and suck a little too probably. whatever!!

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 6 November 2015 15:33 (eight years ago) link

That shot of the three TIE fighters backlit by the sun is, by itself, better than the entire prequel trilogy.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 6 November 2015 15:42 (eight years ago) link

why, they're cool! everybody relax, this is gonna be cool! and suck a little too probably. whatever!!

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, November 6, 2015 10:33 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

because I'd like to be surprised but I have no self-control.

how's life, Friday, 6 November 2015 15:45 (eight years ago) link

For the impatient among us we could probably convince that terminally ill dude who got a screening to spoil the movie for us.

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Friday, 6 November 2015 16:06 (eight years ago) link

If BB-8 isn't Force-levitated at some point I riot.

nashwan, Friday, 6 November 2015 16:26 (eight years ago) link

That tie fighter shot is straight out of another Lucas-related project with Harrison Ford:

http://s10.postimg.org/3le14pll5/images_q_tbn_ANd9_Gc_Q9_Bgk9qo_Huxa_HVmij9_NSUCQ_c_S1kl.jpg

Purves Grundy (kingfish), Friday, 6 November 2015 16:38 (eight years ago) link

If BB-8 isn't Force-levitated at some point I riot

Gotta get him into an Xwing _some_how

Still, twenny bucks says he gets levitated during Daisy Ridley's Jedi training in EP VIII.

It's like poetry, y'know; it rhymes.

Purves Grundy (kingfish), Friday, 6 November 2015 16:41 (eight years ago) link

bb-8 looks so slow running from the explosions PICK THE LITTLE DOOD UP

How Butch, I mean (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Friday, 6 November 2015 16:42 (eight years ago) link

That is a great shot. TIE fighters seldom look actually threatening.

jmm, Friday, 6 November 2015 16:43 (eight years ago) link

boy you guys are really easily excited by obvious Apocalypse Now refs eh

Οὖτις, Friday, 6 November 2015 16:44 (eight years ago) link

well it would be cool if in these movies luke skywalker was crazy, bald, weighed 350 pounds, and quoted TS Eliot

tylerw, Friday, 6 November 2015 16:52 (eight years ago) link

a pile of ... little youngling arms

Οὖτις, Friday, 6 November 2015 16:53 (eight years ago) link

the womp rats... the womp rats...

a llove spat over a llama-keeper (forksclovetofu), Friday, 6 November 2015 16:53 (eight years ago) link

I love the smell of Death Stars in the morning.

the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Friday, 6 November 2015 16:55 (eight years ago) link

never get out of the x-wing!

tylerw, Friday, 6 November 2015 16:55 (eight years ago) link

boy you guys are really easily excited by obvious Apocalypse Now refs eh

boy you are really easily excited by trolling star wars fans eh

please don't shampoo your eyes (stevie), Friday, 6 November 2015 17:06 (eight years ago) link

lol like why are you guys geeking out in a star wars thread ffs

(•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 6 November 2015 17:08 (eight years ago) link

lol tyler

Οὖτις, Friday, 6 November 2015 17:09 (eight years ago) link

I've been trying to figure out what bothers me about Daisy Ridley with her hair up and it's that she looks like an 11 year old boy

El Tomboto, Friday, 6 November 2015 17:15 (eight years ago) link

Target audience, tbf.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 6 November 2015 17:27 (eight years ago) link

Sorry, next time I will write, "That shot of the TIE fighters backlit by the sun, which is clearly lifted from Apocalypse Now, a fact which is definitely very relevant to the content of this sentence, is better than the entire prequel trilogy." Value added at no extra cost to you.

Resting Bushface (Phil D.), Friday, 6 November 2015 17:31 (eight years ago) link

I think the hair-up thing both connects with Leia(hair buns) and also sorta/maybe functional for the desert environment.

Both her and Luke are first seen in white wrappings with goggles stomping round in the sand(cut footage in Luke's case, along with the Gilligan hat).

Purves Grundy (kingfish), Friday, 6 November 2015 18:14 (eight years ago) link

I enjoy this RLM bit here as they just half-cluelessly speculate based on trailer footage, and bring in enough knowledge of how the original trilogy worked, how JJ Abrams tends to do things, and what early 21st-C Hollywood producers tend to work. They treat the proceedings with the seriousness it deserves, naturally:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oifhpT0HZ7Q

Purves Grundy (kingfish), Friday, 6 November 2015 18:22 (eight years ago) link

Very cool.

From the looks of it I bet Luke dies in this one. That's why Leia is so sad.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, 7 November 2015 02:13 (eight years ago) link

she's not sad, she just has Space IBS

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 7 November 2015 02:18 (eight years ago) link

your jokes are bad

μpright mammal (mh), Saturday, 7 November 2015 05:50 (eight years ago) link

You're ugly

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 7 November 2015 06:02 (eight years ago) link

nothing a few weeks in a bacta tank can't fix

μpright mammal (mh), Saturday, 7 November 2015 14:13 (eight years ago) link

eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 7 November 2015 17:17 (eight years ago) link

Japanese trailer wAS awesome! Childhood redeemed! Everything redeemed!

calstars, Saturday, 7 November 2015 18:24 (eight years ago) link

Stormtroopers flamethrowing people was a little O_o but I guess that's what happened to Owen and Beru...

schwantz, Saturday, 7 November 2015 20:41 (eight years ago) link


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