Real England

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-35100078

A man who shot his wife's lover, who had posted a "revenge porn" photograph of her on Facebook, has been jailed.

Robert Ellerby, 44, "blasted" Scott Watmuff when he turned up at the couple's marital home.

Watmuff had refused to remove the intimate shot of Ellerby's wife Rubbina, uploaded shortly before the confrontation, a court heard.

beeb report doesnt remotely do that justice...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/12049756/Husband-shot-cheating-wifes-hard-man-ex-lover-over-Facebook-revenge-porn-pictures.html

who runs a business constructing designer rabbit hutches from his home

there it is

http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/Star-Tupac-Shakur-remanded-custody-accused-table/story-28385583-detail/story.html

http://i4.gazettelive.co.uk/incoming/article10287469.ece/ALTERNATES/s1227b/JS73556572.jpg

My morning walk took me from hilltop vistas of mist rolling in over castle and cathedral to a bare-chested brer screaming "the mouthy cunt wants to take me children" from a dilapidated bandstand within the space of two minutes, which was more realness than I could handle at 9:30 on New Year's Day.

I was in Chippenham over Christmas. Any foray into the centre involved crossing the paths of several distinct townie tribes:

Rat-thin/meth-pale Ugg woman with fat dog, platinum and claret hair, filthy leggings, Matalan puffa jacket and a giant Sports Direct bag. C (who grew up nearby) declared her WINNER 2015 CHIPPENHAM TOWNIE OF THE YEAR competition.
Woman in pub who looked separated from her darts team, in mom jeans, paisley shirt, leather vest, cowboy boots and very frizzy unkempt hair.
Shaven-headed men in knockoff sportswear who do not play sports.
Lots of men (including C's cousins) with those dropped-pocket jeans with artificial worn patches.
UKIP MEP office in the main square, locked for Xmas, with woman MEP advertising her doctorate. C's nephew: 'so is she a doctor of RACISM?'
Everyone in the local Costa (least worst option on Boxing Day) wearing novelty hats and t-shirts, ordering ridiculous thousand-calorie concoctions with only a passing relationship to coffee.

Every so often you'd see someone in a Barbour jacket and wellies looking haunted and furtive,

http://www.falklandswar.org.uk/memoirs.htm#4

C's nephew to trenchant thread

good find

http://i.imgur.com/KPeOmXS.png

One for sorrow...

http://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/Man-chanted-EDL-immigrants-naked-protest-outside/story-28534136-detail/story.html

A MAN stripped naked while shouting 'no more immigrants' during a bizarre protest outside a Home Office building in Croydon.

Security guards intervened when the man started hurling abuse at people waiting in line outside the asylum screening unit in Wellesley Road at 2pm on Thursday.

After chanting the name of far-right group English Defence League (EDL) he then took off all his clothes and continued to rant about the state of modern Britain.

The incident was caught on camera by student Jacob Scott-Pederson, who is working part-time in a building nearby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMxSVWDYNlc

Morris Men dance around a Dalek at the Abingdon Air & Country Show on a dismally grey and rainy Sunday

the dangling collection box is a charming detail

https://youtu.be/ESwrwS6Uxlw

re: bullseye, I could do without the sneery captions but there are some excellent photos here

http://bullseyecontestants.tumblr.com/

(sadly no sign of cravat guy afaict)

Dying

The shortest amount of time anyone has ever owned an electric blanket

http://bullseyecontestants.tumblr.com/post/132867752668/two-in-a-bed-redux-the-shortest-amount-of-time

The shortest amount of time anyone has ever owned a trouser press

http://bullseyecontestants.tumblr.com/post/9759803983/bullys-prize-board-the-shortest-amount-of-time

There needs to be a Tumblr like that for Blankety Blank.

https://greatrednorth.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/onions.jpg

I've half-seriously considered setting up a Blockbusters contestants tumblr, but it seems like too much effort

Homes Under The Hammer slumlords might be a possibility?

I have always wanted to see a show on Challenge culled of clips of awkward small-talk at the start of gameshows, with commentary from someone like Graham Norton when he was still on Channel 4 or Harry Hill.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/feb/29/groom-criticises-stag-weekenders-ryanair-midair-brawl-causes-flight-diversion

The man standing is heard to say: “I’m not afraid of you, I swear on my mother’s life. You’ve done it now. Why shouldn’t I batter you in the face? I would rather stab you in the face with a fork. No disrespect to you, but I hate you.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRgE-a_plUE

Having paid out over £8,000 in removal and storage costs plus four years of alleged licence arrears to recover his boat, Leigh Ravenscroft's hopes his claim will show that CaRT was acting beyond its powers in seizing it and demanding back payment of licence fees.

Mr Ravenscroft claims that the boat, Grandma Molly (previously named Three Wise Monkeys) was moored over water and against land where CaRT have no jurisdiction. Furthermore, for most of the four years when it did not have a licence it was not owned by him.

LEIGH Ravenscroft, 39, of Moor Lane, East Stoke, has been found guilty of having no insurance for a Mercedes in Upper Parliament Street, Nottingham, on January 11. His case will be listed at Mansfield Magistrates' Court on January 14.

Pet owners living near a Nottinghamshire village are being warned to be on their guard after a large owl escaped.
Sammy, a female European eagle owl, has a 6ft (1.8m) wingspan and is usually fed on day-old chicks. Owner Lee Ravenscroft, of East Stoke near Newark, said the bird of prey will hunt foxes and rabbits in the wild, but might also resort to cats or dogs.

Mr Ravenscroft said: "Sammy is about two-and-a-half foot tall with a six-foot wingspan. Big bird.
"She'll be looking for foxes, rabbits, things like that. The danger is if she goes into a village where people are walking their dogs, that's what I'm concerned about.

https://www.mixcloud.com/leighravenscroft/

Or the likes of Mark Haining, Neelu Berry, Justyna Rzeska and Leigh Ravenscroft, who chased an innocent elderly lady (whom they’d stupidly mistaken for the school’s headmistress) down the street, shouting “Why are you laughing?”, “Stop killing babies”, “We don’t want Satanists on this planet” and “They won’t be here for much longer” (a clear death threat)?

Oh god, that Hampstead satanist thing is a rabbit hole of pure madness.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CdBRYyqXIAADntT.jpg

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/mar/08/police-investigate-spate-of-cyclists-being-pushed-into-london-canals

There was a fair of bit of prolonged police activity outside my house on Friday, it turns out this local thug called Wayne has been arrested for attempted murder in the local Asda. He went for someone with a knife, causing "serious throat injuries". It is quite disturbing really because I have had an argument with him once but thankfully it didn't go beyond unpleasant verbals. It got me thinking how preposterous my kind of bullshit bravado self image is sometimes, like I tell myself I don't take any shit off anybody, when in fact I am probably a prime candidate for "taking shit" but have been mostly riding my luck so far.

https://twitter.com/RightWingBio

http://www.itv.com/news/wales/2016-03-29/soldiers-jailed-for-beating-up-disabled-teenagers-in-brutal-attack/

Attack in Wales, one of the heroes squaddies from Scotland, but yeah.

"Our boys" gave them a bell of a beating.

that's what young people need today, a bit of discipline

big mistake spotty cannon fodder made was not being in the cabinet amirite

http://www.leicesterfantv.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Carl-Muggleton-Driving.jpg

West Heslerton: Entire village goes up for sale for £20m

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-35958871?SThisFB

'I don't care that I'm guilty. I'm not bothered mate. I love it mate.'

Det Ch Insp Matt Walker, of North Yorkshire Police, said: "We knew we hit the jackpot when we investigated these lemons."

what a prick

icona pop early draft xp

lol, I missed that bit (xp)

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/butlins-apologises-after-race-hate-wrestling-show-for-kids-at-holiday-camp_uk_5703b6a4e4b069ef5c00d9f7?icid=maing-grid7%257Cukt2%257Cdl1%257Csec3_lnk6%2526pLid%253D446699

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CbLRfayWIAA_BgE.jpg

While walking back from town this morning I saw someone come out of a newsagents and get into their car, which reminded me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm6OVMzImrc
From 1993 but actually less old fashioned than I remember it, at least until the voiceover starts.

one of the bleakest things i've ever seen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KwCY7AFyc0

hey it's ATP

Not fair on Pontins, at least they have a pool and a slide :p

today my colleague's kids were alarmed and confused by the latest bit of Trafford centre hyperreality http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/recap-watch-what-would-happen-11308126