AHHH the Force!
― Darkest Cosmologist junk (kingfish), Saturday, 20 February 2016 23:10 (eight years ago) link
So apparently Episode VIII is partly about Draculas driving Ferraris or . . . ?
http://io9.gizmodo.com/see-the-first-photos-of-brand-new-aliens-and-ships-in-s-1764781664
― T.L.O.P.son (Phil D.), Monday, 14 March 2016 19:26 (eight years ago) link
I don't know what that mouth of sauron guy is about, looks ridiculousBTW I'm going to be a little annoyed if we go this whole trilogy without any twi'leks, togrutas or more than one wookiee.
― El Tomboto, Monday, 14 March 2016 19:43 (eight years ago) link
Who would win in a fight, Draculas or Jedis?
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 March 2016 20:22 (eight years ago) link
You'd be surprised how much of that type of thing gets covered in the Clone Wars cartoon
― El Tomboto, Monday, 14 March 2016 20:29 (eight years ago) link
I'd vote Draculas, because they can turn into bats, control wolves, and can't be killed by anything but sunlight and a stake through the heart. Hmm, would a lightsaber killer a Dracula through the heart? Would a Jedi even know how to do that, seeing as they exist outside of any Judeo-Christian religious stuff? I guess they could read a Dracula's mind, but I bet Draculas are pretty good at clouding their intentions.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 March 2016 20:32 (eight years ago) link
Jedis are remarkably good at figuring out how to kill new and exotic things, so they'd figure it out, and I'm willing to bet a lightsaber would not only kill a vampire, but also do whatever else fire does to vampires.
― El Tomboto, Monday, 14 March 2016 20:48 (eight years ago) link
Jedi can use the force, which flows in all living things.
_LIVING_ things.
Dracula is master of the undead. Force-choking (or any force attacks) would not work on Dracula nor most of the denizens of his castle. The life force is essential to a Jedi so in the realm of undead things The Force would perhaps have no effect. Important to remember that vampires, skeletons, and other undead are not truly alive but only given that appearance (animated if you will) by dark powers.
― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 14 March 2016 20:59 (eight years ago) link
lightsaber vs vampire just makes me think of buffy pulling out the rocket launcher ("that was then; this is now")
― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Monday, 14 March 2016 21:01 (eight years ago) link
What if Dracula was fighting a Force Ghost?
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 March 2016 21:10 (eight years ago) link
wait, does force-choking work because the person being choked is a living thing? i always figured it was just straight up telekinesis. i mean, the rocks and crates and things they throw around aren't living.
anyway, the dark animating powers might also be a kind of living things. like we perceive them as dead/undead but cosmically, force-wise, this may be a kind of life.
― van damme death warrant (Doctor Casino), Monday, 14 March 2016 21:10 (eight years ago) link
yeah i guess lightsabers aren't living things either and they can move them at will. so they probably just have regular telekinesis. still i don't think a Jedi could force choke someone, like it is impossible to do if they have followed the training.
then again Dracula probably doesn't need to breathe, hence the tendency to sleep in a closed coffin.
― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 14 March 2016 21:22 (eight years ago) link
yeah agreed with all that. basically though dracula has a huge disadvantage in terms of ranged attacks. jedis are definitely capable of hurling rocks or random machinery at you; usually they're fighting people who can mount at least some kind of counterattack at a distance (blasters). at best dracula has defensive moves like turning into mist.
― van damme death warrant (Doctor Casino), Monday, 14 March 2016 21:27 (eight years ago) link
he can turn to mist he can also turn into a bat or rat and flee or evade the incoming hurtling rocks. Jedi outmatch him in offensive capabilities so maybe a single one-on-one fight is tilted in their favor.
however, Jedi appear quite susceptible to Force Clouding (them missing all warning signs throughout the entirety of the prequels) and one of Dracula's main techniques is mind control, so it's probably in Dracula's best interest to use that and plan a sneak attack.
― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 14 March 2016 21:54 (eight years ago) link
yeah tbf dracula is also definitely a long-term plotter, in the original book. lot of ground work being laid for what will ultimately be tension-free and repetitive pseudo-scenes. he has a lot in common with palpatine really. (obviously not dealing here with the obvious dooku/dracula business.) i still think if it comes down to a one-on-one battle a semi-competent jedi could basically take dracula. the jedis only lost in the prequels because they were shittily written garbage yoda couldn't take palpatine in single combat, and i can't see dracula winning the same fight.
― never ending bath infusion (Doctor Casino), Monday, 14 March 2016 21:58 (eight years ago) link
my sources are telling me that this guy will make a prominent return in VIII
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/b6/ArleilSchous.jpg
― Number None, Monday, 14 March 2016 22:01 (eight years ago) link
I don't know, can't Dracula communicate from a distance? Via dreams and stuff? Plus, he can clearly bend people to his will, a la a Jedi. Plus, a Dracula could turn a Jedi into another Dracula, and then you'd have a Jedi Dracula, who would be pretty much unstoppable. Wait, does a Dracula needs to subsist on human blood, or any blood? Sometimes Draculas eat rats and animal blood. The people in Star Wars are just nominally human, but they're really humanoid. We don't know if they're even compatible with a Dracula. But if they were, we might end up with another "Lifeforce." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de3VsgXZRGw
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 March 2016 22:04 (eight years ago) link
Er, nsfw.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 14 March 2016 22:05 (eight years ago) link
what the shit is going on here
― Neanderthal, Monday, 14 March 2016 22:10 (eight years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPfsbGR1Foo
― never ending bath infusion (Doctor Casino), Monday, 14 March 2016 22:22 (eight years ago) link
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Anzat_(species)
Once a victim was within their power, the Anzati would uncoil their thin proboscises from their cheek pouches located on either side of its nose and usually inserted them into the subject's nostrils and into the cranium, where the brain was sucked out of the organism(2), though the Anzati fed by drawing soup out of wherever it resided in a victim, as it varied by species. In most humanoid races, it lay within the brain cavity. Almost of their own, the proboscises sought the victim's soup, and began draining it into the Anzat. The victim could struggle, though often the Anzat's attack was so sudden, so perfect, that it was too late(7) This action, however, required time and could not be rushed. This behavior led to the nickname of "snot vampires."(1)
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 00:15 (eight years ago) link
http://mydisguises.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/vampire-princess-leia.jpg
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 00:16 (eight years ago) link
woah
― never ending bath infusion (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 02:03 (eight years ago) link
I missed that party.
― Tuomas, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 06:41 (eight years ago) link
Prince Harry apparently got to sit in the new A-Wing model the other day. So that means we get A-Wings in this one.
― bothan zulu (El Tomboto), Wednesday, 20 April 2016 23:50 (eight years ago) link
A-Holes
― a hairy, howling toad torments a man whose wife is deathly ill (James Morrison), Thursday, 21 April 2016 00:39 (eight years ago) link
You're thinking Guardians of the Galaxy
― bothan zulu (El Tomboto), Thursday, 21 April 2016 00:44 (eight years ago) link
I meant Prince Harry, actually
― a hairy, howling toad torments a man whose wife is deathly ill (James Morrison), Thursday, 21 April 2016 01:05 (eight years ago) link
i've never wished harder that a-wings could actually be fired into space
― the world’s youngest hyper-polyglot (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 21 April 2016 14:18 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/4nxYhnw.jpg
― 龜, Sunday, 19 June 2016 00:55 (seven years ago) link
concept art
― Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, 19 June 2016 01:06 (seven years ago) link
http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/images/c_scale,h_405,w_540/t_mp_quality/gpiiopjxyenjy0tybv52/5-majors-signs-star-wars-new-hero-poe-dameron-is-gay-877844.jpg
― nomar, Sunday, 19 June 2016 19:59 (seven years ago) link
Oh good they're changing Rey's hair
http://io9.gizmodo.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-with-reys-hair-in-episode-vii-1783201707
― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 6 July 2016 16:49 (seven years ago) link
http://io9.gizmodo.com/princess-leia-was-going-to-play-a-large-role-in-star-wa-1790796565
why don't they just re-cast the role? I dunno I think the fans would understand.
― frogbs, Thursday, 5 January 2017 19:52 (seven years ago) link
CGI Peter Cushing in a wig, plz.
― Grand Moff Tarkus (Old Lunch), Thursday, 5 January 2017 20:04 (seven years ago) link
she falls into a rejuvenation pit and Billie Lourd plays the role
― mh 😏, Thursday, 5 January 2017 20:10 (seven years ago) link
"why don't they just re-cast the role? I dunno I think the fans would understand."
uh, no, that would be a terrible idea. they're going to have to kill her off between 8 and 9. I don't see any other option.
― akm, Thursday, 5 January 2017 20:16 (seven years ago) link
I guess the easiest option would be to have Leia die in Ep. VIII, then bring her back in Ep. IX for a couple of crucial scenes as a Force ghost? That'd make the CGI feel less jarring, and there's already a presedence with Obi-Wan.
― Tuomas, Thursday, 5 January 2017 20:16 (seven years ago) link
obviously the already-dead jedi devised some sort of force-based safety net to catch non-jedi after death, so they can bring han solo back as a ghost
― mh 😏, Thursday, 5 January 2017 20:23 (seven years ago) link
A la Nancy Marchand's posthumous scenes in The Sopranos, they should have characters awkwardly responding to repurposed Leia footage from previous movies.
― Grand Moff Tarkus (Old Lunch), Thursday, 5 January 2017 20:29 (seven years ago) link
do they finally blow up the death star in this one
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 5 January 2017 21:07 (seven years ago) link
Yes but it's filled with tiny Death Stars.
― Grand Moff Tarkus (Old Lunch), Thursday, 5 January 2017 21:09 (seven years ago) link
Obligatory jeez where's my spoiler warning joke
― The beaver is not the bad guy (El Tomboto), Friday, 6 January 2017 23:06 (seven years ago) link
I'm Snoke
― mh 😏, Friday, 6 January 2017 23:08 (seven years ago) link
Reports are that as of the next trilogy the series will be retitled Death Star Wars and will document a future world where sentient Death Stars of various sizes and alignments have supplanted all life in the galaxy and now spend their days evaporating one another.
(And I remembered halfway through typing out that utterly ridiculous scenario that, thanks to the EU, we know that the original Death Star HAD technically achieved sentience just before it was destroyed. Dear, dear lord.)
― Dr. Shitfuck (Old Lunch), Friday, 6 January 2017 23:50 (seven years ago) link
Your scenario sounds like Phantasm 6.
― how's life, Friday, 6 January 2017 23:58 (seven years ago) link
xp i don't recall the original death star achieving sentience but i do recall that bounty hunter droid mind-melding (apologies for geek terminology crossover) with the second death star moments before it was destroyed. and i resent my brain for maintaining that piece of information while discarding so much more useful stuff.
― lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Saturday, 7 January 2017 00:05 (seven years ago) link
Oh sorry, you're right, it was the second Death Star. But, yeah, IG-88 uploading himself was what I was referring to and why I said 'technically'. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my affliction.
― Dr. Shitfuck (Old Lunch), Saturday, 7 January 2017 00:09 (seven years ago) link
can't they just use a different actress?
― piscesx, Saturday, 7 January 2017 00:24 (seven years ago) link
apparently not given the attitude upthread and in the nerdverse in general
― a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Saturday, 7 January 2017 00:30 (seven years ago) link
So is this movie three acts or five? I’m actually interested in the structure because there are so many moving parts and almost all the ones that have soured, for me, come in the “beginning,” but I have a hard time figuring out when the beginning ends, scriptwise.
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 25 August 2018 06:08 (five years ago) link
Particularly to casino’s mention of the fight with the praetorian guards - is that act 2? Or act 3? It seems like it matters because if this movie is supposed to be a three-act blockbuster tentpole then they really did fuck up, but if it’s a five-act epic like I suspect are director was going for, then some of the story choices make more sense, particularly regarding how useless Rey is for most of the film.
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 25 August 2018 06:21 (five years ago) link
Lately newer Star Wars have been disturbing to watch for me. Something about how they always take a handful of seconds to show an overly gung-ho group of good guy soldiers all chiming in with a "let's do this!" and a smirk, then a mere few seconds later they're each getting blown up so effortlessly... They're literally burning to death in horrifying space explosions because they've thrown themselves into yet another space fight that almost guarantees death. There's just such a big discrepancy between their willingness to jump into old rusty fighters and die for their cause in what they probably know is a pretty inconsequential battle VS. the amount of technology in the universe that implies driverless (or robot driven) fighters could do the same job. It gets to me. Now here's a ragtag cast of colorful-ALL DEAD! Gone! Sorry! Now charred corpses floating through endless space forever.
― Evan, Tuesday, 4 September 2018 05:17 (five years ago) link
it’s called Star Wars not Star Cuddlepuppies
― ▫◌▫ (sic), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 06:25 (five years ago) link
it’s called Star and Wars, not Adam and Steve
― ▫◌▫ (sic), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 06:26 (five years ago) link
https://image.ibb.co/c31W5K/Untitled.png
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 07:00 (five years ago) link
I'm not complaining I've just been creeped out in this specific way lately.
― Evan, Tuesday, 4 September 2018 10:48 (five years ago) link
That juxtaposition! Or it's just exploding in space. Or both.
― Evan, Tuesday, 4 September 2018 10:51 (five years ago) link
i think it's fair to expect that in a war movie (and a disney movie at that!) that death has meaning for the good characters. sometimes the new movies rise to that (and quite nicely) and sometimes they brush past incredible losses.
― got the scuba tube blowin' like a snork (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 11:18 (five years ago) link
That’s where this one fell down on second viewing for me. The resistance gets reduced to platoon size over the course of about, what, 20 hours? And in the theater, when I didn’t know it was coming, I got distracted by the fun stuff; later, on a small screen, I just wanted to strangle every person in a leadership position.
― Paleo Weltschmerz (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 12:08 (five years ago) link
I mean at least in this one it's clear people are upset about these deaths, but they oddly never seem to fully rebound on Poe, whose fault they pretty much all are, even though Johnson does seem to intend us to recognize this (via the whole Finn/Rose storyline). By rights he should have ended the film broken and wracked with guilt, going off to do penance or something.
― got the scuba tube blowin' like a snork (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 12:25 (five years ago) link
The Poe/Leia/Finn/Rose storylines are a mess. I only really enjoy the Rey/Luke/Kylo parts, and even that gets pretty shakey the more they intersect with the rest of team towards the end of the film.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 12:40 (five years ago) link
it says a lot that boyega, tran and lazy-cosplay laura dern keep that storyline watchable.
― Paleo Weltschmerz (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 13:45 (five years ago) link
they could kill literally everyone in the resistance except rey/finn/poe and have poe be like "when it rains it pours huh buddy" and it still wouldn't be as bathetic as "starkiller base"
― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 4 September 2018 22:17 (five years ago) link
The redlettermedia video complains it's too much like a madcap comedy but isn't the real problem that it's not madcap comedy enough?
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 4 September 2018 23:07 (five years ago) link
I forget where I posted my thoughts after my first attempt at a second viewing but I totally agreed with you
― Paleo Weltschmerz (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 23:42 (five years ago) link
okay I said dark comedy but y'know
star wars 9 grim resignation thread
― Paleo Weltschmerz (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 23:45 (five years ago) link
I like how in Luke’s fantasy oh himself at the end his hair is a lot less grey
― calstars, Saturday, December 16, 2017 12:49 PM bookmarkflaglink
yeah when he pulled off his hood at the end i was like ‘wtf I guess he stopped off for some grecian 2000 and a quick haircut on the way’
― dipso inferno (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, December 16, 2017 1:21 PM bookmarkflaglink
Can the Force be used for haircuts?
― master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 13:10 (four years ago) link
Once you start down that dark path, forever it will dominate your grooming regime
― Number None, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 13:15 (four years ago) link
Lightsaber manscaping, hmm
― master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 13:16 (four years ago) link
don't make me post the jar jar lollipop again
― Receive Your Simulated Fluids Before The End of The Year! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 13:18 (four years ago) link
Stop trying to implicate us in your sexual fetishes.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 13:24 (four years ago) link
implicating ilx in my sexual fetishes IS my sexual fetish
― Receive Your Simulated Fluids Before The End of The Year! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 13:26 (four years ago) link
It's just a slow slide into full-bore degradation once you've become inured to the pleasures of Jar Jar's sugary tongue.
― Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 14:03 (four years ago) link