I will keep doing, but not worth it! The 2016 Presidential Primary Voting Thread

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or maybe when trumps going on about how much he likes the good doctor and how mean ted cruz was to him then carson just says "youre a gigantic human turd donald" this is my republican fanfic

lag∞n, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:10 (eight years ago) link

"these guys are fighting so much it's almost like they're twins...separated at the head"

iatee, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:10 (eight years ago) link

you'd still think that being a repellent shitstain would be a turnoff...?

Wait, I thought he was considered hella crepey by coeds at that time. Wasn't that one of things Craig Mazin has been busting him on Twitter for? That dude severely squicked out fellow students even back then?

Or are undergrad debate types that damaged such that his particular stat build came across as alpha male?

Darkest Cosmologist junk (kingfish), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:11 (eight years ago) link

Every man or woman I've known who was in debate functions differently from the rest of us. Some of these people are my friends.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:11 (eight years ago) link

i can def see a leaner, more energetic cruz being appealing to a certain type of humorless young conservative woman

spirited ai weiwei (Treeship), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:12 (eight years ago) link

he has the righteousness of the Lord on his side

spirited ai weiwei (Treeship), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:13 (eight years ago) link

oh i thought he was just happy to see me

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:16 (eight years ago) link

according to ted, his mom prays for him several hours each day. I suspect she prays that he will magically transform into a human being.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:19 (eight years ago) link

Lord Voldemort stuck in the toaster oven for a few hours too long, maybe

Darkest Cosmologist junk (kingfish), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:21 (eight years ago) link

they thought he wld just go away and didnt realize until it was prob too late that they had to make him go away, if republicans had spent the last three months talking about what a piece of shit he is i suspect the race wld look different now

yup

a (waterface), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:23 (eight years ago) link

he's such a trapezoid mouth

spirited ai weiwei (Treeship), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:29 (eight years ago) link

if republicans had spent the last three months talking about what a piece of shit he is i suspect the race wld look different now

Narrator (sounding sad, but sympathetic): We understand you're frustrated with the politicians in Washington DC.

(Photos of angry voters intercut with smug politicians)

Narrator: You don't trust them. You think they're bought and sold like so many prize hogs. And you think Donald Trump is different.

(Ominous music. Unflattering photos of Trump.)

Narrator (voice acquires a harder edge): But you're wrong. He's a creepy, lying piece of shit like all the rest of them and he's playing you for chumps.

(remainder of political ad writes itself...)

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:32 (eight years ago) link

i think rubio's numbers could only improve by calling trump a "creepy, lying piece of shit"

spirited ai weiwei (Treeship), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:38 (eight years ago) link

"paid for by the smug politicians that you're frustrated with that we mentioned earlier in this commercial"

Karl Malone, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:38 (eight years ago) link

obviously republican voters don't care about any sort of propriety anymore

spirited ai weiwei (Treeship), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:38 (eight years ago) link

he just accused him of peeing his pants

a (waterface), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:42 (eight years ago) link

feel like rubio is going too trump w his insults comes off as a lil guy trying to play along shd try to be a lil more serious and indignant while still calling trump a piece of shit

lag∞n, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:46 (eight years ago) link

he just accused him

which "he"? which "him"?

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:46 (eight years ago) link

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=pee+pants+rubio+trump

a (waterface), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:47 (eight years ago) link

Chris Christie Endorses Donald Trump

mookieproof, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:51 (eight years ago) link

Thanks, waterface. I hope this 'wetting pants' taunt is noticed by the entire us electorate. And it escalates.

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:52 (eight years ago) link

never did debate, but you guys do remember high school was pretty easy except for that trig and physics crap

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:53 (eight years ago) link

christie trying to get the f out of jersey

lag∞n, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:54 (eight years ago) link

or maybe angling for a pardon

lag∞n, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:54 (eight years ago) link

if you have nothing to hide and you are NOT a poopypants then there's no reason why you can't take off your pants and show the crowd your tighty whities right now
(OMG he's totally gonna do it)

ulysses, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:54 (eight years ago) link

christie trying to get the f out of jersey

And Jersey wants him gone, believe me.

the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:55 (eight years ago) link

debates felt pretty pointless in high school. this shit is just really dull reality tv, and has about as much substance.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:55 (eight years ago) link

Christie angling to beat John Mitchell's record by entering prison after serving as Attorney General for one month

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, 26 February 2016 17:57 (eight years ago) link

im kind of blown away by the number of debates, is it like 1/week or something?

marcos, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:57 (eight years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CcKK6oOUYAADK5F.jpg

lag∞n, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:57 (eight years ago) link

That's ridiculous of Christie. Is he that shortsighted? I guess he's getting out of politics.

clemenza, Friday, 26 February 2016 17:58 (eight years ago) link

christies got nowhere to go in politics, hes wildly unpopular in his state and has legal issues, hoping for an appointment in the trump regime is abt as good as it gets for him

lag∞n, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:02 (eight years ago) link

yeah this seems like a pretty rational decision on his part

iatee, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:02 (eight years ago) link

Christie was pretty smart, leaving on a high note like he did

http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/7-23-2015/aTt2Fm.gif

nomar, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:06 (eight years ago) link

feel like rubio is going too trump w his insults comes off as a lil guy trying to play along shd try to be a lil more serious and indignant while still calling trump a piece of shit

― lag∞n, Friday, February 26, 2016 12:46 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

agree with this

spirited ai weiwei (Treeship), Friday, 26 February 2016 18:08 (eight years ago) link

part of the Trump phenomenon is that you can't touch him without becoming defiled yourself

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Friday, 26 February 2016 18:10 (eight years ago) link

I don't know Christie's situation that well--I guess you're right, it's not like there's anything left for him. This does remind me in a way of how some Republican strategists and such tried to latch on with Perot in '92. (Ed Rollins in particular comes to mind.) I don't know if they all found they way back.

clemenza, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:11 (eight years ago) link

"their way back"

clemenza, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:11 (eight years ago) link

yeah why wd ppl vote for a Fake Trump over the original?

"Would you have trusted any of these clowns with the nuclear codes? (Maybe John Kasich, but only if there were absolutely no other option, Curly Howard being dead and all.)" - Pierce

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, 26 February 2016 18:12 (eight years ago) link

i am anxious to see what hillary or bernie is going to do when trump calls them a dumb loser or whatever

spirited ai weiwei (Treeship), Friday, 26 February 2016 18:14 (eight years ago) link

pee+pants+rubio+trump

next thread title?

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 26 February 2016 18:15 (eight years ago) link

i am anxious to see what hillary or bernie is going to do when trump calls them a dumb loser or whatever

― spirited ai weiwei (Treeship), Friday, February 26, 2016 1:14 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

seems like it shdnt be hard to point out that hes an petty insubstantial name caller

lag∞n, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:20 (eight years ago) link

reading this made me less confident that clinton would whup trump

http://static.currentaffairs.org/2016/02/unless-the-democrats-nominate-sanders-a-trump-nomination-means-a-trump-presidency

Trump will capitalize on his reputation as a truth-teller, and be vicious about both Clinton’s sudden changes of position (e.g. the switch on gay marriage, plus the affected economic populism of her run against Sanders) and her perceived dishonesty. One can already imagine the monologue:

“She lies so much. Everything she says is a lie. I’ve never seen someone who lies so much in my life. Let me tell you three lies she’s told. She made up a story about how she was ducking sniper fire! There was no sniper fire. She made it up! How do you forget a thing like that? She said she was named after Sir Edmund Hillary, the guy who climbed Mount Everest. He hadn’t even climbed it when she was born! Total lie! She lied about the emails, of course, as we all know, and is probably going to be indicted. You know she said there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq! It was a lie! Thousands of American soldiers are dead because of her. Not only does she lie, her lies kill people. That’s four lies, I said I’d give you three. You can’t even count them. You want to go on PolitiFact, see how many lies she has? It takes you an hour to read them all! In fact, they ask her, she doesn’t even say she hasn’t lied. They asked her straight up, she says she usually tries to tell the truth! Ooooh, she tries! Come on! This is a person, every single word out of her mouth is a lie. Nobody trusts her. Check the polls, nobody trusts her. Yuge liar.”

Where does she even begin to respond to this? Some of it’s true, some of it isn’t, but the more she tries to defensively parse it (“There’s been no suggestion I’m going to be indicted! And I didn’t say I usually tried to tell the truth, I said I always tried and usually succeeded”) the deeper she sinks into the hole.

Trump will bob, weave, jab, and hook. He won’t let up. And because Clinton actually has lied, and actually did vote for the Iraq War, and actually is hyper-cosy with Wall Street, and actually does change her positions based on expediency, all she can do is issue further implausible denials, which will further embolden Trump. Nor does she have a single offensive weapon at her disposal, since every legitimate criticism of Trump’s background (inconsistent political positions, shady financial dealings, pattern of deception) is equally applicable to Clinton, and he knows how to make such things slide off him, whereas she does not.

flopson, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:28 (eight years ago) link

although i don't think it convinced me that bernie would do any better

flopson, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:28 (eight years ago) link

hillary shrugs smiles and says in a cheerfully exasperated tone "this is what donald always does when someone points out he has no plan or experience he calls names and then says hes the best at everything"

lag∞n, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:29 (eight years ago) link

lol the media veering wildly from trump is week trump cant win to trump is the next president

lag∞n, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:30 (eight years ago) link

Hillary: "There you go again..."

Donald: "Oh look, your husband's getting a blowjob backstage."

clemenza, Friday, 26 February 2016 18:31 (eight years ago) link


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