Star Wars 7 Spoilers Thread: This SPOIL bath is going to feel so good.

bushes of love wow

loool

Jesus christ that thing is an hour long

Kylo is supposed to be around 30. Rey is 19/20

Rey is Obi-Wan's grand-daughter. However, this would come pretty much out of nowhere, since Obi-Wan was never shown to have any love interests,

uh Anakin

this seems to cover most theories

http://www.dorkly.com/post/77088/the-7-best-fan-theories-on-reys-origins

i still like the granddaughter theory even though it is v flawed, hmph

Episode VIII: Obi-Wan is Back, Baby

loooooooool @ rey being anakin with facial reconstruction

The other Bad Lip Reading SW things on YT are awesome as well

The other mysterious flashback stuff seemed kinda straightforward IIRC - parents leaving her behind, promising to return sometime, but in fact they're never coming back.

But this flashback quite pointedly doesn't show us who the parents were or what they looked like... If it was simply a case of her parents being some random folks who left her behind, why not show them onscreen? And of course there's also the fact that Rey's family name is never mentioned, unlike with every other character in the movie. (Except Finn, but for him there's an obvious explanation for that.)

Rey.... Binks

Oh jesus.

Folks if finn turns out to be landos son we're gonna have to start a bombing campaign thats agreed right

I'm glad you thought this was the best one, I kinda do too. In one of these interviews with Lawrence Kasdan he talks about wanting to make it "delightful" and I think they really succeeded at that

my bet is that Rey is Palpatine's granddaughter

I mean with all the mirroring of the original trilogy, why wouldn't the hero turn out to be related to someone evil?

My bet is that daisy ridley is the first female 007 tbh

On a recent rewatch I found Kylo Ren to be kind of a lame villain, D. Gleeson's screeching speech before they let loose the StarKiller pretty laughable and a while bunch of other dead weight. That while scene with Kanji Club and the monsters and the angry Scots dude - oy.

*whole not "while"

Def. not the best SW film for me.

Seriously. It's like you guys have never seen Caravan of Courage.

xp Tell that to Kanjiclub.

Darth vader is a great villain. Luke skywalker is a fuckin terrible hero. Swings and roundabouts.

We'll leave prequel out, obv nobody's batting for them.

I like the monsters scene in the Falcon fine apart from the Scottish dude not being Jamie from The Thick Of It.

Yeah it's a good sequence. On rewatching, the third act is definitely the weakest, despite Han's death being handled well.

The Kanjiclub scene dangles these amazing martial arts actors in front of us and then doesn't deliver any martial arts. That's breaking some basic rule of showmanship.

Its like having alec guinness not act in the original trilogy tho

rey is imo a much better heroic figure than luke was though i don't think this was the best SW. i actually suspect luke in this trilogy might be more interesting than he was in the original films.

dude's gone through some serious shit

The Kanjiclub scene dangles these amazing martial arts actors in front of us and then doesn't deliver any martial arts. That's breaking some basic rule of showmanship.

Putting two Chekhov's Guns in the same situation (monsters, badasses) and then having only one go off seems like a very modern thing to do

tracer hand (and kasdan) otm re it being delightful

i think that is the best encapsulation

Darth vader is a great villain.

Was it in this thread or somewhere else that someone made the point that an evil father is also waaaay more scary than an evil son, which is more just sad

Part of the charm of Kyle Ren is that he's kind of a whiney chump. He doesn't come off as all powerful and menacing like Vader.

yeah

i love when he takes off his mask & rey is thrown, like "ooookay not hideously disfigured waht is happening"

yup, felt the same

Yeah plus Kylo works because we know and love his parents so much (compared to both Anakin/Padme and Anakin's boring Mom and her mysterious midichlorian lover). The challenge is how they provide him with something different to Vader's trajectory as a retread of that redemption is unlikely to be satisfying.

He's already had a different trajectory, to an extent, in that he wants the darkness but the light keeps/kept calling to him.

I think I probably said this upthread, but frustrated young man incapable of living up to their expectations of strength is a very Age Of Reddit take.

What with the actual vader helmet on the wall of his room, id say thats a fair take

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--1SwI03eU--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/c9al0cakdacwilvoslpj.gif

xpost it's not expanded upon that specifically - here's the passage: "Aided and abetted by restless, power-hungry individuals within the government, and the massive organs of commerce, the ambitious Senator Palpatine caused himself to be elected President of the Republic. He promised to reunite the disaffected among the people and to restore the remembered glory of the Republic. Once secure in office he declared himself Emperor, shutting himself away from the populace. Soon he was controlled by the very assistants and boot-lickers he had appointed to high office, and the cries of the people for justice did not reach his ears."

― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Monday, December 28, 2015 9:50 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hmm who does this sound like

Obama

the massive organs of commerce

hawt

I assume the sarlacc is constantly being used as a toilet.

― jmm, Monday, January 4, 2016 11:54 AM bookmarkflaglink

lol cackled at this classic today. thanking u

The crimes of JJ Abrams really quickly piled up into a larger heap than the cumulative crimes of George Lucas with this trilogy, didn't they

I never got round to seeing any of the sequels (Andor’s great, though). I’m not even particularly into Star Wars but I didn’t really feel like watching Luke and Han Solo die? It feels antithetical to my childhood idea of what the movies are (i.e. fixed to conclude at a particular point with a happy ending that lasts forever). Am curious about the Rian Hughes movie though

Er Rian Johnson I mean

The people who like the JJ ones best seem to hate it, which maybe tells you all you might need to know!

It was definitely my favourite, if not essential.

it's the most interesting one, though after seeing it again i wouldn't say it's really that good. what puts it above the other two is the fact that RJ is a good director and there are a couple of stunning "big moments" which are among the best of the whole franchise. But in the end virtually the entire film is cancelled out and discarded by Abrams' backpedaling in the third film. the whole trilogy is so disjointed and incoherent, it's probably safe to regard it as non-canon.

The crimes of JJ Abrams really quickly piled up into a larger heap than the cumulative crimes of George Lucas with this trilogy, didn't they

― omar little, Thursday, August 3, 2023 12:34 PM bookmarkflaglink

disagree. Force Awakens is a fine movie, I enjoyed Rise of Skywalker as poorly as it was written, but ultimately these felt like star wars movies, whereas Lucas outright lost the ability to write an enjoyable tale or build engaging characters (other than the ones he'd already established in 4-6). Dialogue was execrable to the point where it spawned about 100 memes that STILL circulate to this day, Phantom Menace included the most boring trade blockage subplot in history and was abysmal visually. and Anakin's character arc was massacred. I still enjoy Ep 3 but even that one is flawed af, I just appreciate the darker tone.

I watched Eps 7 and 9 recently and they held up fine as a fun watch, but I can't even finish Eps 1-2.

yeah same

wait a minute, well *i* disagree. TFA "felt" like a Star Wars film but i think ultimately the shallowness of the narrative, the directionless tale that was told, betrayed a lack of confidence. and it was a problem to have a story that wasn't told organically from the seeds up to the top of the tree, but rather simply having new characters and different places draped ill-fittingly over the skeletal framework of a previously told tale, which was rearranged just enough that it couldn't be called theft, but not enough that it could be called original. not that Lucas didn't steal from some sources, but there was verisimilitude to his tale. the prequel trilogy is more mediocre than good, but more good than bad, and i think much of that comes from the clean, precise storyline, which has some genuinely awkward moments and not-good characters, and dreadful dialogue, but feels like the weird and pure vision of a specifically odd big budget filmmaker, and not the tale told by a focus group via a board of directors, executed by the guy who did Star Trek wrong, and made Mission Impossible boring.

BUT at least TFA has a solid first half before the derivative chaos of the second half.