Friday the 13th: Jason Goes to POLL

jason isn't generally constrained by the laws of physics by that point in the series

Doubt it will stay up long, but some psycho edited all of the movies together into one sort of coherent 85 minute movie that has every victim/camper converge on Camp Crystal Lake at once to be picked off at a crazy clip:

https://vimeo.com/289599739?cjevent=0f5e55b1ca8711e8837d01b30a240614

ok so 3-8 are all on prime and what do i have better to do with my life than rewatch the friday the 13th movies for the 2918290049th time?

but this time i came away really loving vii: the new blood. it's deeply flawed and was sliced and diced in order to get an r rating... yet it rocks??? probably the only movie in the series where there's a stronger antagonist than jason in the mix (dr. crews, the worst gaslighting piece of shit man in the world!!!!) which makes the dynamic sooo interesting; jason kinda becomes this subconscious response to one's life and pain being exploited constantly by abusive men. practically a horror essay in and of itself!

sleeping bag death forever

i also like part v now! it's so sleazy and mean and yet... the free range halfway house for teens with mental illness is a v weird place for jason to murder a bunch of people, it kind of reminds me of dream warriors for some reason? i normally don't spend a lot of time identifying with the people jason murders but in v i basically feel them all (except for the hillbillies) (god what a fucking weird movie)

lot of objectively lame things about the movie like the twist and ending with tommy jarvis' second heel turn in two movies, but i loooove the character of traumatized tommy jarvis regardless, if anything the worst tommy is part vi's horn dog dumbass who accidentally resurrects jason by impaling his dead body with a large metal pole, we all saw that one coming tommy (i love him too don't worry)

i just watched them all except for freddy v jason and imo:

6
4
1
2
goes to hell (i can't believe this movie exists)
x
manhattan
7
reboot
5
3

― who is extremely unqualified to review this pop album (BradNelson), Tuesday, January 17, 2017 6:04 PM (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jason goes to hell pales in memory, i need to rewatch it but now that i have more affection for the core 8, i can no longer completely fuck with it. my current ranking:

vi: jason lives
vii: the new blood
ii
tie: jason takes manhattan / jason x (basically the same movie, boat vs. space)
iv: the final chapter
v: a new beginning
i
iii
jason goes to hell
reboot

weird that they all changed lol

oh i've seen freddy vs jason now, it's somewhere in the bottom of that ranking. i think it's fun but it's tarnished for me bc freddy makes a racist joke at kelly rowland

...and then she calls him a faggot

oh yeah! i for some reason erased *that* part from my memory. fuck freddy vs. jason (which is so so fun outside of that scene, whyyyy)

It’s jarring as hell

What I mostly remember about that film is how explicitly it emphasises (to the point of exaggeration) the sexual undertones of both franchises - Freddie’s child molestation and the virginity of the lead character - in a way that feels properly sleazy and nasty. Obv that kind of making the subtext text was what passed for clever in the 90s slashers, but it really gave that film an edge (and yeah, it is generally fun)

I do not love this franchise but I enjoyed goes to hell a lot, also whichever one has the kids in

VI, which is the best. I actually read the novelization of that one!

Hell was the only one I saw in the theaters. I did not pick a winner, but it definitely has perhaps the best cold open.

vi does a pretty great tightrope walk imo, extremely goofy and fun and meta but also straight up chilling at points, cf. the one cabin with blood spattered EVERYWHERE, anytime jason's figure looms over the kids and you wonder "is... is he going to murder children??!?!?!"

The cutaway to a kid reading no exit before bed was a good cheap lol I was not expecting, also “what were you gonna be when you grew up?”

Terry Kiser was Dr Crews in #7. A real "That Guy" actor. He was good as a corpse in the two Weekend at Bernie's films but i think i first saw him as a comedian named "Vic Hitler" iirc on WKRP.

The cutaway to a kid reading no exit before bed was a good cheap lol I was not expecting, also “what were you gonna be when you grew up?”

― mumsnet blvd (wins), Tuesday, April 23, 2019 2:03 PM (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

two of my favorite moments in the whole series

vi is just an embarrassment of awesome scenes. hard rock summer in the usa

The humour in these films is usually excruciating to me so I maybe overrate it when it lands

also something i noticed recently: the only friday movies with zero nudity are i and vi

Interesting! That's like learning that "The Godfather" supposedly has no profanity (I haven't seen it for a while).

Terry Kiser was Dr Crews in #7. A real "That Guy" actor. He was good as a corpse in the two Weekend at Bernie's films but i think i first saw him as a comedian named "Vic Hitler" iirc on WKRP.

― omar little, Tuesday, April 23, 2019 2:07 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark

vic hitler is from hill street blues

yeah that's right, he was someone else on WKRP. Also had a recurring role early during Night Court's run.

Interesting! That's like learning that "The Godfather" supposedly has no profanity (I haven't seen it for a while).

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, April 23, 2019 7:13 PM bookmarkflaglink

Woltz says "son of a bitch"

I've seen these shitty movies so many times over the years, in various forms and formats, and only noticed something nuts: Jason's mom goes crazy because he died unsupervised at the camp as a kid in the late '50s. So how did Jason become a full grown adult by the second movie?

no one knows

well, also, he's a full grown adult because these movies take place in the '80s. my theory is that he didn't die and lived in the woods for 20 years, either unbeknownst to his mom or beknownst to his mom but she was still driven by the delusion that he died. this idea is sorta ventured in friday part 2

Isn’t it suggested he didn’t drown and survived as a feral youth in the woods or something?

Xp yeah that I think

I think he's actually just a very large child.

So really ... his mom was the negligent one.

xpost Like Blaster in Thunderdome?

So the deformed Jason pulling her under is assumed to be a hallucination?

Granted that makes sense because Jason or the Voorhies were never meant to be explored again in the series, originally

https://horrorenthusiast.com/index.php/bloody-tabloid/friday-the-13th-franchise/61-is-jason-voorhees-immortal-friday-the-13th-facts

It may seem odd on the face of it to suggest that he's a child, but it actually explains a lot of otherwise inexplicable aspects of the character of Jason Vorhees, like why he's always skipping and asking passersby for a lolly.

Jason vs Thunderdome was clearly the best of these

He's also like Evil Sloth, maybe.

So the deformed Jason pulling her under is assumed to be a hallucination?

yes but this also makes no sense. my theory is that, despite the existence of a corporeal adult jason, the ghost of young jason haunts the lake

but these movies also don't care if they make any sense

I like the maybe-fakeout maybe-nightmare who cares ending of 2. “Where’s Paul?”

I might watch the really terrible ones tonight

Going too deep into the postgame worldbuilding wrt these characters whose initial conception basically began and ended with 'dude in weird mask kills folks for...reasons?' is how we get Michael Myers the druidic golem (or whatever the hell that nonsense was).

Oh god, the Cult of Thorn

My current personal hot take on the franchise is that the TV series trumps the movie series. It is such wonderfully cheesy goodness.

The episode with the evil compact that made people obsessively fall in love with the wielder, who then felt compelled to kill them, was great

Oh god, the Cult of Thorn

― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Monday, October 28, 2019 8:39 AM (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i put myself through the nightmare on elm street sequels this year and it's official: halloween is still the worst horror franchise i've ever seen (still love almost every movie in it though)

Mind, the whys and hows of these movies' mythologies are of course pretty meaningless; Carpenter got it right the first time when he simply hand-waved Michael away as "pure evil" or whatever. But even so, in the case of Jason specifically, his death due to counselor negligence is the entire impetus for the first film, so to have him alive after all implies he was not only living alone in the woods for 25 years or so, but that his mother was totally unaware he was still alive. (Was there any throwaway line in the first one like "they never found his body"?) Credit Part VI and beyond with this, at least they make him a full-on worm-food zombie, which explains his take a licking, keep on ticking invincibility.

shout factory blu box looks siiiiick

https://www.shoutfactory.com/product/friday-the-13th-collection-deluxe-edition

if you watch Friday the 13th backwards, a hockey goalie heals murder victims by walking away from them

— kim. (@KimmyMonte) August 30, 2020

I watched the first 4 of these last October, they are all terrible but so far my ranking is:

4
2
1
3

last night I picked this back up with 5/A New Beginning, it's wild!! so sleazy but also like almost entirely gore-free??? and full of sloppy continuity errors and exceptionally bad acting (I can't tell if the acting is even worse than the other 4 films or it's just as bad and I've just forgotten). The weird goth/new-wave girl might be my favorite F13 character of the series so far.

I was binging F13 last year and made it up to Part VII before I had to stop. I really should try to finish up the series at some point, but I'm in the middle of going through Halloween at the moment. Part 5 definitely has the worst acting. My favorite bit is the douchey greaser dude singing "rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tooie! rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tooie!"

The new wave girl is awesome for poppin' and lockin' in front of her Alan Parsons Project poster.

bingeing

I put off watching F13 for so long because the premise seemed so boring, and last year I decided I owed it to myself to watch them, and everything I assumed about them ws 100% correct.