I just left my girlfriend

cigars and/or liquor
bath (pref with one of the above)
meat
duh, videogames
general slovenliness

enjoy!

bluegrass

none taken.

Gonna check out the new Dwight Yoakam single as well.

My serious advice: Stick to THPS4, THUG is not worth your money. Learn the art of the revert to manual, it will treat you will in the end.

Yours,
gygax!

rpa, yup, that's exactly how i'm feeling. remember, feel free to email me off board if you need some mutual sympathy

i like to go out and i can't afford to travel, so i understand where you're at..

Some good memories, of things that you will never find again, nevertheless fade away - alas.

Or perhaps they only become "good" once they are somewhat faded?

Are you sure you are not me posting under a pseudonym? Crazy coincidence. Anyway... it does get easier. The second month, I think, is when everything will finally settle in and life will suddenly feel like a breath of fresh air. Best of luck!

I'm surprised how well I'm dealing with things right now. I've been keeping busy, seeing friends, robbing banks, walking dogs, climbing trees etc; and although I am still very upset inside, the real pangs of anguish only come very late at night or if I'm really tired. The rest of the time I'm surprised at how chirpy I can be. I guess this mus signify that there were real problems with the relationship that I didn't know were there until I looked back. I feel bad for the past because obviously, I had the best times ever with her and I'll cherish these as long as I live but I've never been one to dwell too long on the past (or future for that matter) and now I'm just taking things day by day.
I've got a new job in March to get my teeth into and I'm starting to remember what it was like to go out and have fun without feeling guilty for doing it or having to check she hadn't messaged me.
I'm sad to say, it's not going so well for her unfortunately. We've been chatting on the phone and she has become very upset (to the point of a bit scarey) many times. This makes me feel bad because, although we split on excellent terms and even went out for lunch soon after, I feel guilty for having hurt her for some reason. I know I haven't done anything wrong but it must be because she is still very upset, and I am feeling okay that I am getting a guilt trip. She doesn't have as many outlets for her emotions (friends all at uni, unsympathetic mother) as I do so has always taken them out on me, and still is in a way when we speak. I've had "You're over me now aren't you?", "You said you loved me when we were going out - you obviously didn't" etc, which are completely unfair and anyone else would take as emotional blackmail but I understand that she is very upset with no-one else to talk to so I'm trying to be patient on it (not easy as it hurts us both).

Well, that was an epic wasn't it? Sorry if that read like a stream of consciousness poem written by a diseased goat, but there you go. HOpe you understood it.

But not long ago I confessed that I was falling for her in a big way - I don't want to feel like this - I'm not foolish enough to think that anything could happen between us and even if it did I know it wouldn't work. But I can't help it. Unfortunately, she clammed up, failed to offer me a resolution either way, and we've gone on as normal, with this weird mixture of hope and dread and uncertainty hanging in the air.

Then a couple of weeks ago I found out she was seeing my oldest friend - I basically found out at the worst possible time for me. I confronted her about it, like an adult, and she said they weren't seeing each other, just being affectionate, nothing could ever happen between them. A week later, I found out that was a lie, when I saw them together. I wasn't supposed to find out. After all the time and emotional support I've offered her, I feel I deserve better than this.

Anyway, its her life. I don't own her, and she deserves to be happy, they both do. Six months ago I'd have been overjoyed at them getting together. Now its crushing me. I want them to be happy together, but I can't sit there and watch it happen. I've had to walk away from my closest friend, the love of my life and the biggest part of my social life through no fault of my own and it fucking sucks.

The worst thing is the lack of space. I can't get away from this. We work together all day every day, in the same room. We share the same close group of friends. And it's all ruined. Right now I'm finding it difficult to see any positives in this whatsoever.

This has hit me far, far harder than any breakup, and I don't even have the good bit of having had a loving relationship first. I mean, even though nothing happened between us, we were still in many ways a couple. Now I find out she's got a big payrise, I don't know the details, and the fact that I'm no longer the first person she goes happily running to with the news hurts more than I can believe.

basically comes down to pushing the door ajar, giving plenty space, and going off and doing good things. not forgetting it necessarily, but, its kind of time to move on, whether you like it or not.

its sort of a dawsons creek/'the last summer'/fennesz/drop nineteens kick the tragedy kind of thing, the point where people (whether its 2 people like in this situation, or a group of friends) realise it'll never be the same again, (cf: the daft punk one more time video). sounds facetious i know, but, really, it isn't. its the closing up of something, the moving on. but, you know what, the good stuff is all to come, you just don't know it yet

this is all a bit "yo, where the bars at?" isnt it?