and that's only a small sample!
― This Ace of Base is driving me crazy (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 6 June 2009 16:41 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2009/05/11/p323/090511_contest_p323.jpg* And when they told me YOU would be interviewing me, I readily agreed to tell everything.....even the details of our clandestine affair in detail.... knowing this was your dream...... the ultimate reality show!!* And then Marge Simpson said to me, "You know, honey, I really don't care if it lasts longer than four hours."* After Harvard Business School the really tough choice was Go to Wall Street or Become a famous Bimbo?* Yes, my new movie is titled "The Stimulus Package." I play a hoojer.
― This Ace of Base is driving me crazy (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 6 June 2009 16:45 (fifteen years ago) link
Hmmm...maybe if we recycle old caption entries for the new contest...
http://i42.tinypic.com/14l7ywm.jpg
"I love a captive audience!""That's right! I'm against gay marriage, and I'm against any efforts to move the capital of California to a city other than Los Angeles, and I'm against everything else! Wow, this bra is tight; I can hardly breathe!""It's a reality show about my fantasies!"
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Z S), Saturday, 6 June 2009 16:50 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.barrylutz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/deerscientists.gif
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Z S), Saturday, 6 June 2009 17:59 (fifteen years ago) link
"...gnnph, gnnph, gnnph, gnnph, gnnph..."
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Z S), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:00 (fifteen years ago) link
get that guy a website already
― This Ace of Base is driving me crazy (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:08 (fifteen years ago) link
har har har har har
;)
OK back to serious entries.
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Z S), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:09 (fifteen years ago) link
Haw I had this same thread idea but didn't start it; I'm not so much into "serious" entries though.
― congratulations (n/a), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:19 (fifteen years ago) link
As soon as I posted "back to serious entries" I felt like a giant tool, and then as I went back to throw a winky guy into the mix my internet connection died out.
So, belatedly,
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Z S), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:41 (fifteen years ago) link
"What I don't understand is why they're speaking German."
― If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play? (Dr. Superman), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:42 (fifteen years ago) link
"What troubles me is that they're speaking German."
― If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play? (Dr. Superman), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:43 (fifteen years ago) link
"Apparently, they think we're some sort of gods."
― If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play? (Dr. Superman), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:48 (fifteen years ago) link
Wow. That note about the "not the funniest one" was really OTM - I just looked at the previous 25 contests' top results :-/(exception: the first two of this one were LOLworthy: http://contest.newyorker.com/CaptionContest.aspx?id=189 )
― StanM, Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:49 (fifteen years ago) link
Christ, what an asshole.
― Telephone thing, Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:51 (fifteen years ago) link
"What arouses me is that they're speaking German."
― ❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉Plaxico❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉❉ (I know, right?), Saturday, 6 June 2009 18:51 (fifteen years ago) link
Any more entries? I figure we'll collect them until Thursday night, and then have a quick 2 day poll on Friday and Saturday to select the winner, and then I'll submit it on the Sunday deadline.
― ya'll are the ones who don't know things (Z S), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:36 (fifteen years ago) link
"If you didn't spend all your time watching mice, I wouldn't have to be fucking your wife."
― Eazy, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:41 (fifteen years ago) link
"This seems to answer the nature vs. nurture question pretty decisively."
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:42 (fifteen years ago) link
Wait wait"If you didn't spend all your time here, Williams, I wouldn't have to be fucking your wife."
― Eazy, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:45 (fifteen years ago) link
(Larry Flynt needs to start a caption contest.)
― Eazy, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:46 (fifteen years ago) link
"Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
― cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:47 (fifteen years ago) link
"They look more like her but they take after me."
― special guest appearance (Roberto Spiralli), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 17:54 (fifteen years ago) link
^^^ grebt
would never win though
― Aimless, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:02 (fifteen years ago) link
"I call the big one 'bitey'."
― I used to like dem burgers boy (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:17 (fifteen years ago) link
I entered the PETA one on my own, so you can leave that one out.
My wife did one for this one:http://www.newyorker.com/images/2008/09/22/p323/080922_contest_p323.jpg
"Ok...I'll put down "Claws". And what you describe as your greatest weakness?"
― schwantz, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:27 (fifteen years ago) link
"I'll wring your neck if one of these bastards publishes before I do"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:33 (fifteen years ago) link
^^^hahaha xp
― autogucci cru (deej), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:34 (fifteen years ago) link
lol!
xpost to "claws"
― collardio greenous (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:36 (fifteen years ago) link
schwantzs wifes one is hilarious
― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:40 (fifteen years ago) link
― special guest appearance (Roberto Spiralli), Wednesday, June 10, 2009 1:54 PM (46 minutes ago)
this is genius and will get my vote
― collardio greenous (k3vin k.), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:42 (fifteen years ago) link
^^^
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:46 (fifteen years ago) link
also massive lolz at "claws"
(btw, I am very mad that "LET'S START IT OFF WITH A BRIEF REVIEW OF YOUR LOCAL MIDLIFE CRISIS. WE'LL THEN DISCUSS THE GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS." is too long to be a screen name)
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:47 (fifteen years ago) link
(anyway back to the picture)
"Okay, NOW they're just mocking us."
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:50 (fifteen years ago) link
"And the best part is, we pay them in cheese."
― would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:53 (fifteen years ago) link
"this acid is strong"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:57 (fifteen years ago) link
^ works for 99% of all new yorker cartoons
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:58 (fifteen years ago) link
"I'm not sure their hearts are really in this better-mousetrap project."
― would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:13 (fifteen years ago) link
"I know they have a grant, but do we really need more ways to skin a cat?"
"I was expecting Soulja Boy to have a different effect on them."
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:16 (fifteen years ago) link
I always wondered how many people entered. Sometimes the finalists are so weak I assumed like, 6 people entered. My god some of those submissions are not funny.
I mean the ones copied above, not the ones currently being submitted by ILXors. Those are all comedy gold.
― dan selzer, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:17 (fifteen years ago) link
I like fork's "I think it's meant to be the one on the right's retirement party."
― Eazy, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:17 (fifteen years ago) link
"The one in glasses is not 'the cute one'."
― 1899 Horsey Horseless (HI DERE), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:21 (fifteen years ago) link
"auto-tune is dead"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:22 (fifteen years ago) link
I wonder how many times we'll have to do this until we get an ILX winner?My money is over five, under twenty.
― I used to like dem burgers boy (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:45 (fifteen years ago) link
We should enter as Isaac L. Xevious
― I used to like dem burgers boy (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 21:47 (fifteen years ago) link
"I see your mice have little clothes."
― cant go with u too many alfbrees (Abbott), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:49 (fifteen years ago) link
"These mice are different from the mice behind us; these mice have facial features."
― cant go with u too many alfbrees (Abbott), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:50 (fifteen years ago) link
"Are mice very much like people?"
― cant go with u too many alfbrees (Abbott), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:51 (fifteen years ago) link
What an assholee..
― Mark G, Monday, 17 April 2017 12:56 (seven years ago) link
ha!
mark you're right of course. i didn't mind that it's a takedown on technical/artistic merits rather than a journalistic expose (though that would have been great too) but yes i would have liked more explanation about what constitutes a bad "line" (for example). however i find it.. what.. salutary - in french i want to say "roboratif" - to be reminded of the essential frivolousness that lurks as girders beneath the new yorker's project
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 17 April 2017 13:19 (seven years ago) link
--and which, in so-called comedy particularly, masquerades as Great Truth
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 17 April 2017 13:20 (seven years ago) link
it's an unavoidable consequence of (non-ideological) structural pressures i think
i: mag come out weekly (4793 issues and counting) ii: the cartoon sit within articles w/o being illustrations of them or in any way connected
over the long haul the selection effect is going to be away from the world-shattering undermining of all the readers' verities, bcz they need the reader to (a) carry on reading the article being interrupted by the cartoon and (b) buy the new yorker again next week (primarily for the articles)
― mark s, Monday, 17 April 2017 14:03 (seven years ago) link
also i like roz chast's drawing style that guy can fuck off
basically my theory is that the quiddities and agonies of the new yorker reader afre a direct consquence of
― mark s, Monday, 17 April 2017 14:12 (seven years ago) link
… AND MANIFESTATION OF week-on-week sub-editorial decisions under pressure abt the mag's page furniture
― mark s, Monday, 17 April 2017 14:14 (seven years ago) link
point off for like tired notch-notch, wink-wink routines
― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Monday, 17 April 2017 16:42 (seven years ago) link
Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the @NewYorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight. pic.twitter.com/Lhzmq7Pnsb— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 4, 2018
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 5 April 2018 13:01 (six years ago) link
if your picture is a subway sandwich replacing a subway train, there's not much work the caption needs to do.
― adam the (abanana), Thursday, 5 April 2018 13:22 (six years ago) link
Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest
https://i.imgur.com/tIae9Vk.jpg?1
― Karl Malone, Tuesday, 4 September 2018 00:24 (five years ago) link
"i dont care what google maps says"
― lee guacamole (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 06:53 (five years ago) link
"Are you finished with that beer?"
― Mark G, Tuesday, 4 September 2018 07:10 (five years ago) link
"All I'm saying is if it's global warming why is my beer still cold?"
― Ctrl+Alt+Del in Poughkeepsie (fionnland), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 07:42 (five years ago) link
too good to win, per uszh
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 08:04 (five years ago) link
also right in the wheelhouse of our one-size-fits-all ringer: "This is normal."
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 4 September 2018 08:05 (five years ago) link
Guest Comic By Steve Bannon Entitled 'The Rising Floodwaters Of Immigration'
― imago, Tuesday, 4 September 2018 08:51 (five years ago) link
the new one-size-fits-all is "I’ve thought this through and talked to colleagues — and I’ve re-considered"
― mark s, Tuesday, 4 September 2018 08:57 (five years ago) link
http://i65.tinypic.com/aad8w3.jpg
"i continue to be unhappy regarding the state of the subway system"
― (ADVANCE) (320k vbr) (--V2) (aps) (diVX) (2CD) OST - SB (2019) (esby), Saturday, 12 January 2019 08:24 (five years ago) link
"Did you know that there's a bear hidden in the Toblerone logo?"
― the battering ram's rolling (snoball), Saturday, 12 January 2019 11:20 (five years ago) link
"Let me know if you see anything that people believe doesn't exist. Like Donald Trump's sense of humility."
― the battering ram's rolling (snoball), Saturday, 12 January 2019 11:23 (five years ago) link
“Holy shit, do you see that?! It says ‘W A R P’ on the snow”
― Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Saturday, 12 January 2019 11:29 (five years ago) link
yes he slept over and no its not any of your business anymore
― topical mlady (darraghmac), Saturday, 12 January 2019 11:55 (five years ago) link
I've always thought of the SkiFree monster as a metaphor for the inevitability of death.
― adam the (abanana), Saturday, 12 January 2019 13:07 (five years ago) link
Press 'F' to pay respects go faster than the monster and escape.
― the battering ram's rolling (snoball), Saturday, 12 January 2019 13:19 (five years ago) link
Darraghmac ftw
― Mark G, Saturday, 12 January 2019 13:40 (five years ago) link
Def
― Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Saturday, 12 January 2019 13:45 (five years ago) link
did anyone else here get a spam email from the "founder" of this contest - who has quit the new Yorker and set up his, er, own captioning contest? surely it's a massive breach of whatever privacy policy the NYer has for him to abscond with the mailing list for his own purposes!
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 12 January 2019 16:04 (five years ago) link
christ, what an asshole
― brownie, Saturday, 12 January 2019 16:36 (five years ago) link
ha
― topical mlady (darraghmac), Saturday, 12 January 2019 16:44 (five years ago) link
"Asshole. You just HAD to tell him he was looking a little mangy..."
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Saturday, 12 January 2019 17:01 (five years ago) link
"Well you're an abominable HUSBAND."
― jmm, Saturday, 12 January 2019 17:12 (five years ago) link
"HE didn't have any problems asking directions."
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 12 January 2019 17:15 (five years ago) link
Lol
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Saturday, 12 January 2019 17:19 (five years ago) link
Sigh. Another day, another Bigfoot sighting debunked.
― Øystein, Saturday, 12 January 2019 22:19 (five years ago) link
i would've said hi but i don't know the yetiquette
― conrad, Saturday, 12 January 2019 23:07 (five years ago) link
"I thought we agreed, no politics!"
― rip van wanko, Saturday, 12 January 2019 23:15 (five years ago) link