There's a guy outside my window who's been threatening to jump all night!

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But he still didn't answer the question!

― Sulky Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:51 (twenty years ago) link

i'll take his silence to mean "yes i have the kris kross, multiple copies in fact, but no i dont have a big stereo, all i have is my little sister's my little pony boombox"

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

EVEN BETTER

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

WAYE BETTAR

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 20:58 (twenty years ago) link

still nothing. 12.59pm. getting bored.

i'm thinking i'm gonna jump now instead. i'm on the 6th floor. it'll totally take the pressure off of him.

May, i kiss thee. great picture

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:04 (twenty years ago) link

weak, call him a pussy.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:05 (twenty years ago) link

sfpd blowz. if that bum had a bag of fajitas, those cops would've been all over him by now.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:05 (twenty years ago) link

Spiderman could fix this.

― Hunter (Hunter), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:11 (twenty years ago) link

"Put down the bag of fajitas. I repeat: put DOWN the bag of fajitas."

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:15 (twenty years ago) link

So what is the latest skinny on Fajitagate anyway?

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:33 (twenty years ago) link

this whole thread is a little offputting, but i think that "freaked" pic could net you something, call the papers.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:39 (twenty years ago) link

if they ask if you've leaked it already, lie.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:39 (twenty years ago) link

more like boring.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

i mean, we've already left the realm of ethical behavior here.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

Sell it! I once got $25 for lending BAM magazine Dave Navarro's 8th grade yearbook photo. The world is yours.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:40 (twenty years ago) link

OK I'm bored by this, did he jump yet or what?

― Allyzay, Friday, 5 December 2003 21:41 (twenty years ago) link

i'll even be satisfied if someone just cuts him out of one of these pictures and puts him on the ground. seriously. add some blood too.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:43 (twenty years ago) link

yeah unless he bails, the photos aren't worth a thing.

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:43 (twenty years ago) link

Done and done.
http://www.worksongs.com/suicide.jpg

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 21:59 (twenty years ago) link

/me marries you

*kisses*

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:01 (twenty years ago) link

Oh the humanity! And without his 16 oz. Seattle's Best Americano!

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:02 (twenty years ago) link

he looks like a stillborn gerbil now.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:07 (twenty years ago) link

donut bitch, you got lowballed.

― hstencil, Friday, 5 December 2003 22:10 (twenty years ago) link

"but it was just going to get cold."

http://www.worksongs.com/mug.jpg

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:11 (twenty years ago) link

And quit kissing me, you creeps. I'm a guy.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:11 (twenty years ago) link

*double kisses*

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:13 (twenty years ago) link

Nice.

― may pang (maypang), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:15 (twenty years ago) link

Maybe we should lock this thread now that it ended the way we wanted? And by that I mean, suicide followed by text-based homoeroticism?

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:52 (twenty years ago) link

and a cop with a warm cup o java. A happy ending somewhere admidst the tears.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:57 (twenty years ago) link

yeah. i am going to remember that cop as carl winslow. and i am going to remember that coffee as a peppermint latte. you know, for the holidays.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 23:07 (twenty years ago) link

"What tooks you off the street, Carl?"

http://www.diehardmovies.com/diehard1/image4.jpg

"I let a kid fall, dammit. Since then I've been behind a desk with doughnuts."

http://www.diehardmovies.com/diehard1/image5.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 5 December 2003 23:30 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.worksongs.com/mug.jpg

"And peppermint latte. The best damn peppermint latte in this sad, sad town."

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 23:32 (twenty years ago) link

I wish this thread had been called "There's a guy outside my window who's been threatening to hump all night!"

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 23:34 (twenty years ago) link

Pfft, that's too mundane and everyday to start a whole thread for

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 5 December 2003 23:57 (twenty years ago) link

okay, Sting.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 23:59 (twenty years ago) link

i left for lunch and record storing for an hour or two, came back and 5minutes before i got there,,,,,,,,, he jumped. head first

― JaXoN (JasonD), Saturday, 6 December 2003 01:49 (twenty years ago) link

*gulp*

So, uh, he's dead, right?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Saturday, 6 December 2003 01:58 (twenty years ago) link

What - are you taking pictures?!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:12 (twenty years ago) link

he was being taken away right when i got there. no dead pictures. sorry. pretend May's pic is what it looked like

― JaXoN (JasonD), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:13 (twenty years ago) link

Shoot him with your pellet/BB/paintball gun. For max score.

― Helltime Producto (Pavlik), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:14 (twenty years ago) link

All of a sudden it's a lot less funny

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:15 (twenty years ago) link

I almost suggested people stop being so funny.

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:18 (twenty years ago) link

this sucks

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:19 (twenty years ago) link

Is that for real?! What the fuck!

― Andrew (enneff), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:23 (twenty years ago) link

at what points did his suicide start, and stop, being funny?

― ssl, Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:48 (twenty years ago) link

I didn't mean to suggest I wanted to see those pix. I was just curious as to the outcome.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:57 (twenty years ago) link

Well I didn't think it was all that funny in the first place (despite my "Run-DMC stance" quip) but I half played along because it seemed too surreal to be morbid. But all of a sudden I'm reminded of this.

And it's a few weeks before Christmas, too. Damn.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Saturday, 6 December 2003 03:41 (twenty years ago) link

i read this Lord of the Flies-ish thread and think, ok whatever. Yeah, it's really funny, a human being is going to die now. How sophisticated and jaded that it provides some entertainment. But that's just how I think about the issue. I'm not attacking anyone, I'm saying how the thread struck me. I'm always amazed at the whole "death-as-entertainment" thing no matter what the context (movies, serial killer fixation, graphic violence in comics) but I guess that just makes me twee.

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 6 December 2003 03:46 (twenty years ago) link

:-( That is a very sad story indeed.

I thought this guy would be saved by the fireman's truck thing early on. I didn't think he would actually jump.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Saturday, 6 December 2003 03:46 (twenty years ago) link

Orbit, from my message board experiences, there's always a sliding scale with the humor-during-morbid-setting threshold. If the first people to crack jokes are well-established posters with west-established histories of propriety, the floodgates open very quick. The only thing to stop it if someone comes in to scold, but this person has to be well established too. That's why I never risk saying shit in threads like this.

― Dancing Queen, Saturday, 6 December 2003 03:49 (twenty years ago) link

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