Birth Control: Advice and Anecdotes

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― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 17:52 (seventeen years ago) link

these never let me and the wife down, not once, totally painless and simple

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 17:55 (seventeen years ago) link

They seem like a good idea, Shakey, but nonoxynol-9 is a detergent, basically, and can be very drying/irritating to some people.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:00 (seventeen years ago) link

That's great that has worked for you BUT - VCF is NOT effective enough to be used as the sole means of birth control if you really don't want to conceive. It can be great when used in conjunction with other methods but it has a high failure rate if used alone. I have a friend who got pregnant doing exactly that.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Furthermore, per wikiped, the failure rate over a 6-month period of different concentrations of spermicides, used alone, was between 10 and 20%!! Whoah.

Hah XP

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:03 (seventeen years ago) link

BTW - I do volunteer contraceptive counseling so that's why I know a lot about this kind of thing!

― ENBB, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:05 (seventeen years ago) link

I guess I am just lucky then, cuz we went for 6 years with that as our sole BC and never had a problem. oh well.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Nonoxynol-9 gives me severe lady problems. But, I have reactions to a lot of things, so this is not surprising.

― molly mummenschanz, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Every woman's different in terms of fertility (and side effects). We were only using withdrawal for 6 mths with no problem which kind of surprised me. (don't try this kids)

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, I know someone who hasn't had a regular period for almost a decade, and has been having totally unprotected sex all that time (I KNOW) and never had a single pregnancy scare...but then there were some lifestyle changes and some emotional ones, and suddenly she had a monthly cycle and then HI DERE, BAYBE. You never know what your mental state, stress chemicals, etc are doing to your total system.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:12 (seventeen years ago) link

whoah that's crazy!

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:13 (seventeen years ago) link

I know! She had basically already grieved over, and accustomed herself to, being infertile. So now she's deeply happy to find that she CAN get pregnant but this was not the time for it. Oh well! Babies happen.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:15 (seventeen years ago) link

A woman my husband and I know recently experienced bad cramps and period so heavy that she went to the emergency room after two days thinking she might have a cyst or something. She was examined and told she was in labor. Her response? "I'm not pregnant!!" Well, she was and now she's a Mom. She spotted monthly throughout the pregnancy and didn't gain any weight of course she also drank and smoked for the duration as well. Anyway - I guess this doesn't have much to do with birth control but Laurel's post about the unpredictability of a woman's cycle reminded me of it. Plus, it's a ridiculous story and I still can't believe this happened to someone we know. Babies happen indeed.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:21 (seventeen years ago) link

WOW THAT STORY IS THE MOST TERRIFYING STORY I'VE EVER HEARD

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:22 (seventeen years ago) link

damn . ..that is some maury povich type stuff. that would be horrible. . was she using any birth control during that time?

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Was there a weight issue in that case as well, E? Seems like, logistically, the only way you could NOT know anything was happening without being in denial so profound that it qualifies as a mental illness would be for a woman's weight/figure to pretty well camouflage the situation.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, wouldn't you feel all kinds of weird stuff going on in inside? bizarre. . .

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:24 (seventeen years ago) link

i have actually read about stories like this previously, and the woman i read about this happening to was not large at all, like she might've been a size 10, and never gained much weight during the hidden pregnancy. something about the way her uterus was situated in her body was weird? and of course the child was on the small side.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:26 (seventeen years ago) link

As someone who worried for years about birth control only to find that it took 23 months to conceive with no explanation as to why from the doctors (17 of those charting), I don't know what to think about birth control any more!

I think I'll use charting combined with condom use during fertile periods once I've given birth. People who I know who've had 'accidents' while charting haven't really been trying to avoid. It's really quite easy to make sure you don't get pg once you've charted a few cycles, but some people either get too slapdash and take risks, or they quite like the idea of having an 'accident'

― Vicky, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:26 (seventeen years ago) link

I've done the pregnancy thing twice and can't imagine not realizing... wow. Just the breast size change would have tipped me off immediately. But at the end, all the kicking! That is amazing.

― Sara R-C, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:27 (seventeen years ago) link

I KNOW! She's the worst possible person this could happen to as well. Works in a bar, lives in a room above said bar, no money, lots of drink/drugs etc., not really stable. I hope it all works out but it's completely CRAZY. A couple of her good friends went to see her in the hospital and as a joke, one brought condoms. That didn't really go down well. Could you even imagine?! She didn't have a crib - nothing!!

She's not big at all but not super skinny either. I haven't seen her in ages (this is a friend from UK) but another of our friends saw her two days before the birth and said she looked thinner than usual.

What MM asked is what I don't understand - I can't believe you wouldn't feel that something was just different somehow.

A friend of ours who is visiting told us about this the other night and I'm still just in shock.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:29 (seventeen years ago) link

how could you forget until now on this thread! hahaha I would have come to ILX the very next day and started a thread just for that story.

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:29 (seventeen years ago) link

I know. I haven't been around much before today with houseguest and crazy work stuff!

But, seriously! Completely nuts, right?

― ENBB, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:31 (seventeen years ago) link

BTW - I don't know what kind of birth control she was using at the time. She basically started seeing a guy right around the time of what would have been conception but had been dating a bit so she's not entirely sure who the father is.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:32 (seventeen years ago) link

This story gets scarier by the second.

― Sara R-C, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:35 (seventeen years ago) link

I know, it's shocking. I almost feel worse for the baby!

― ENBB, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:36 (seventeen years ago) link

I've known people who didn't gain ANY apparent weight in any part of their bodies besides the abdomen, ie from the back or the waist up looked totally not-pregnant, but there was still a bulge of SOME size in front!! And one of them was very, very nauseated all throughout, so eating was almost not an option, she had to check herself in for the last month-ish just to stay healthy. Whatever, anecdotes are just that and no more, but they sure are weird sometimes.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:36 (seventeen years ago) link

poor kid

http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20061102/160_ap_an_smith_061102.jpg

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:36 (seventeen years ago) link

hello ladies,

i hypothesize that if yr seriously into drink/drugs theres a pretty good chance yr not going to notice/care about/think odd strange things going on with yr body

i have heard of something like this happening but i was a pre-teen & dont trust my memory, it involved my older sisters classmate intentionally & successfully hiding her pregnancy until birth

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Seriously. The one thing I'm hoping is that it'll make her straighten her life out and she'll surprise everyone who knows her.
Laurel, I too have never seen a woman who didn't show at least a little but I guess it does happen!

xpost

― ENBB, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:39 (seventeen years ago) link

Everything has to happen at least once, right? :)

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:40 (seventeen years ago) link

I've heard of a story like this as well. The baby in question was a college roommate of mine, whose mom apparently didn't notice she was pregnant with him until she went into labor. She drank throughout the pregnancy, but the dude turned out totally fine, developmentally. (He is somewhat slight in stature, but no shorter than I am.)

― jaymc, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 18:53 (seventeen years ago) link

these stories are very wtf. i mean, i look fwd to pregnancy being an enjoyable time wherein i will experience the joy of carrying life around inside me and eating ice cream sundaes for dinner.

but re: question, i have been off the pill for over two years now and it took abt a year and a bit to adjust and now i feel good and normal and happy to have ovulation and blah blah no problems really except for slight pms pissiness. am still skeptical about research saying we're not "supposed to" have periods, but who knows.

i ended up getting a diaphragmghm ages ago but since i never have sex i do not have a sufficient sample size from which to gather data and report on this method's levels of reproductive control. i hope to have a report forthcoming but cannot guarantee final submission date. however, i will do my best to see that my research endeavours get back on track as i know this is for the greater good.

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 20:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Science needs you, Robyn.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 20:23 (seventeen years ago) link

[i]i thought that the nuvaring would be my savior, but ended up hating for quite a few reasons. i'm on yasmin now, which i like quite a bit. no mood swings, no hormonal skin breakouts, shorter period, no cramps, and greatly reduced pms. also no weight gain! my only other experience with pills was ortho-tricyclen, which made me fat and crazy.[/1]

had a strikingly similar experience with ortho-tri, and then with yasmin. for me, yasmin has been great (i think it has a diuretic which somehow prevents weight gain, and it's the most emotionally-stabilizing pill i've ever been on), except my sex drive has completely PLUMMETED. which is, uh, a drag.

just fyi, my doc tells me that ortho-tri-cyclen's lo-dose pill is generally terrible, and that she seems women getting pregnant on it all the time, has written letters to the FDA, etc. beware accordingly.

― Teeter, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 20:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Could we pause, for a second, and think about the crazy skinny druggie lady this way - someone got her pregnant! is he crazy and skinny and druggie? Where is he in this oh so fucking common story?
How is it her fault?

I mean, really, a thread about birth control goes to basically calling someone a stupid, skinny slut because she "GOT" pregnant.

― aimurchie, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 23:50 (seventeen years ago) link

OTM+++

― Abbott, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 00:38 (seventeen years ago) link

"I've heard of a story like this as well. The baby in question was a college roommate of mine, whose mom apparently didn't notice she was pregnant with him until she went into labor"

Our own jaymc, weighing in on the matter.
That must have been weird having a baby as a roommate.

"I KNOW! She's the worst possible person this could happen to as well. Works in a bar, lives in a room above said bar, no money, lots of drink/drugs etc., not really stable. I hope it all works out but it's completely CRAZY. A couple of her good friends went to see her in the hospital and as a joke, one brought condoms. That didn't really go down well. Could you even imagine?! She didn't have a crib - nothing!!"

That's hilarious? Couldn't you have gotten your shit together to get her a fucking crib?
I hope you have the very best birth experience - and i hope you think of her.Every single time you push.

― aimurchie, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 02:52 (seventeen years ago) link

'Works in a bar, no money, lots of drink/drugs etc., not really stable. I hope it all works out but it's completely CRAZY.'

baby shower? Just a suggestion.

― aimurchie, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 03:06 (seventeen years ago) link

Aimurchie, she didn't know her personally, I think. And anyway I don't think a crib is the most important worry: more the fact she won't be a good mother. But I have my hopes that her instincts do come to light even if the odds are against her. I think it's the mother that has to get her shit together.

My cousin's friend was three months pregnant when she discovered she was with baby. She figured she had the stomach flu.

One of these days! but then I'm sure I'd want BC afterwards so I wouldn't just keep spurting 'em out.

Breastfeed.

― stevienixed, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 05:26 (seventeen years ago) link

i was freaking out a bit - but, Nath, "she won't be a good mother" is just...one of the things that is driving me crazy.
Where's the "he won't be a good father." part?
If the onus is on the mother to get her shit together, should't we be supportive of the mother?
I hate the finger pointing, snickering "oh that loser got herself knocked up - must've been in an alley, that stupid slut" tone that comes out. (That is obviously not a quote from this thread)
And it's not this thread, all by itself, that makes those statements.
But it is far too common, and alienating to any woman who is in a difficult situation.
My big point being - someone else was involved! Which is why, I suspect, we are all discussing BIRTH CONTROL!

Whew. Anyway, the sponge is back. It has a fairly high rating for a "barrier method". 96% effective?
It's simple, convenient, and safe. I'm happy women can, once again, go into a drugstore and purchase some birth control without a fucking prescription.

― aimurchie, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 13:39 (seventeen years ago) link

well since even the mother doesn't even know who the father is how can we admonish him for not being a good father? If this woman didn't know she was pregnant how in the hell would the random man know he's about to be a father?

And I don't recall anyone calling her a slut so just chill out.

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 13:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Seriously, which of you women wouldn't like your man to consider a vasectomy???

― peepee, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 13:53 (seventeen years ago) link

I would like to have children so, no, I wouldn't. Not yet anyway.

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 13:54 (seventeen years ago) link

A D O P T I O N ????

― peepee, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 13:55 (seventeen years ago) link

. . .can be a good thing, yes.

Are we playing a game here?

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 13:57 (seventeen years ago) link

I had a friend whose gf disappeared for a week and came back with his baby - he hadn't known at all during her pregnancy and she had either not known or been in denial (apparently this is likely as she was a bit nuts).

― Mark C, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 13:57 (seventeen years ago) link

No game. I just feel that adoption is an choice not considered by many couples, and I'm not sure why that is.

― peepee, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 14:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Well your probably wrong since you can't read into people's minds and their thought processes about one of the most important and personal decisions of their lives.

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 14:02 (seventeen years ago) link

I just don't understand how someone could not know they're pregnant. Babies move around like hyperactive aliens -- do these women just have funky digestive problems that would disguise this?

― Nicole, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 14:02 (seventeen years ago) link

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