Real England

gimme the surf and turf, double the turf, no surf

so… two steaks then?

NO!!!! i’m allergic to fish!!!!!! *loses mind*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYHFMBAwZho

https://i.imgur.com/cgr8UKg.png

They keep getting Normaler and Normaler. pic.twitter.com/EkvxTlQsjV

— Chłoddy (@OfSymbols) November 13, 2023

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/athletics/67432970

Ultra-marathon runner Joasia Zakrzewski has been banned for 12 months by UK Athletics for using a car in a race. Zakrzewski accepted a medal and trophy for finishing third in the 2023 GB Ultras Manchester to Liverpool 50-mile race on 7 April.Tracking information later showed she travelled by car for about 2.5 miles before continuing the race.Zakrzewski claimed she told officials she used a car and finished the race "in a non-competitive way".

"The claimant had collected the trophy at the end of the race, something which she should have not done if she was completing the race on a non-competitive basis," said an independent disciplinary panel.

"She also did not seek to return the trophy in the week following the race.

"Even if she was suffering from brain fog on the day of the race, she had a week following the race to realise her actions and return the trophy, which she did not do.

"Finally, she posted about the race on social media, and this did not disclose that she had completed the race on a non-competitive basis."

If you could push a button to fast-forward to the end of the race, would you?

ultramatathons aren't really about the finish line though, they're about uber drivers we meet along the way

"Finally, she posted about the race on social media"

It's only the definite article there that makes this an unusual story

A different take on the thread title but I love this series - "Blossom Trees and Burnt Out Cars" - A reinterpretation of "the countryside" through the prism of radical history, urban flowerboxes and more

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0cl4wxx

Not Real Ireland

wkd and guinness 🥰 pic.twitter.com/V26yVTy4oI

— hammy. (@iamhamesh) November 28, 2023

want

lived with a Spanish guy once, he was a prick but anyway he introduced me to kalimotxo (red wine + coke) which I loved and spent the following decade introducing to house parties, so I have no business looking down on this tbh

Is this a new trend? I pretty much only drink Guinness and have been asked about the wkd mix three times in the last month

is this shopped? my eyesight is crap and I can't always identify obvious photoshops but I thought guinness would be heavier than blue wkd or maybe my booze science is bad.

gasoline/blue wkd would look good, that would float

https://www.irishcentral.com/culture/guinness-defies-laws-of-physics

This isn't that different to a Black Velvet in principle

I have just spent a few minutes on youtube and can confirm it's true, the guiness is poured over the back of a spoon and is full of bubbles.

I've done guinness and cider before, but never guinness and champagne. Champagne is so overrated I can only imagine it being improved by mixing other booze with it.

this prick

Today, I had to evict somebody out of my property with a chainsaw.

If they were at a hotel and refused to check out, security would break entry within the hour.

My lawyer suggested I send a certified bailiff, but I figured it was more fun doing it myself. pic.twitter.com/NSG8a63mb7

— Samuel Leeds (@samuel_leeds) December 13, 2023

a certified bailiff has powers that he himself probably doesn't have.

he's obviously a dick and is being told as much in all the replies.

https://t.co/haaR4f04y6 pic.twitter.com/xX76HKp4wJ

— Dan Douglas (@dandouglas) December 14, 2023

sounds like he's not a 'former' illusionist after all

happy christmas

@sainsburys cancelling my turkey crown (pre ordered on 3rd Dec ref 821005409) on Xmas eve and also the ham joint but replacing it with 4 ham slices. Absolutely appalling pic.twitter.com/IwcGFERiTQ

— Jack Rice (@jackosboss) December 24, 2023

Better get to raisin' turkeys yourself if you want one next year

Modarn day christmas carol scrooj orders biggest turkey in shop for bob cratchit but they're out of stock and substituted with pack of turkey twizzlers

This is incredible…What you might call a win win situation

Some fella on TikTok there wearing a muzzle in solidarity with his XL bully, 2024 is off to a flyer pic.twitter.com/o2l8AGnMAP

— Laura (@_laurag23) January 1, 2024

it would be unfair to say that every XL Bully owner calls their dog something like "Mauler" but it's probably in the 90th percentile

Mayhem on Dolomite Avenue, which appears to be in Coventry

what's in a name you might ask. I used to know of this guy known as "Killer" and to my shock it turned out he wasn't a very nice person. If he's not serving time rn he's probably got one of these vile creatures.

There was a case in Maryland with a dog named “Mayhem” that killed a child.

Happy new year @BBCMaryam pic.twitter.com/Z6ExkS2SIj

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) January 1, 2024

Look North has started a new feature called “how big is your hole?” pic.twitter.com/ngoNDDRBaB

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) January 4, 2024

Can you fucking imagine seeing someone doing this irl, just tattoo ‘cunt’ on your forehead and you get the same effect and can drink easier

Dad wears muzzle to pub and sips pint through straw in solidarity with XL Bullyhttps://t.co/4jCVeWYQym pic.twitter.com/RLASyPu57N

— The Mirror (@DailyMirror) January 4, 2024

He went on to savage a nearby kid as a further show of solidarity

He’s probably got a bag to pick up his own shit.

lol thank u ilx this is good work here

i think "XL Bully" may be one for the marketing of masculinity thread

He’s probably got a bag to pick up his own shit.

This is more than can be said for most XL Bully owners!

One of my kids is currently visiting my sister in Leeds, and my sister's partner is apparently being an unbearable snob about the dumbest British things. I guess they went to a candy shop on the ocean and he freaked out that one of his kids wanted a watermelon flavored something but he refused because it was an "American" candy flavor. Then he complained that they have the wrong type of bacon in America to make a bacon roll. Most recently he supposedly went on a rant when my daughter mentioned how the Banoffee pie was similar to a banana cream pie. "No, you're dismissing the history behind it! This is what I hate about Americans saying they have the same thing! It's uniquely British! It's so special and there are all these little minute differences!" I think she is going to start trolling him. I told her to insist Americans invented bananas.

On your side on all of this except the bacon roll

I don't even know what a bacon roll is but it sounds gross.

I've literally just had one, fucking delicious.

it's a BLT without the L and T, with better bacon and bread

fried egg and bacon roll is more my thing or a good BLT, not those insipid supermarket BLTs. A freshly made one with coleslaw as well. Bacon on it's own feels like an incomplete sandwich to me.

There's some butter and ketchup in there to keep it company

would love more watermelon flavoured stuff in the UK tho

Fish & chips is a combination of a french dish (freedom fries) with a way of preparing fish brought over by Portuguese jews, see if that gets a reaction.

lol I think he already laid claim to chips/fries when my daughter and my sister both admitted they preferred crispy fries to mushy fries and he took offense.

Banoffee pie was apparently inspired by a San Fran baker's recipe only as recently as 1971. In other words, "real" England.