Real England

it's a BLT without the L and T, with better bacon and bread

fried egg and bacon roll is more my thing or a good BLT, not those insipid supermarket BLTs. A freshly made one with coleslaw as well. Bacon on it's own feels like an incomplete sandwich to me.

There's some butter and ketchup in there to keep it company

would love more watermelon flavoured stuff in the UK tho

Fish & chips is a combination of a french dish (freedom fries) with a way of preparing fish brought over by Portuguese jews, see if that gets a reaction.

lol I think he already laid claim to chips/fries when my daughter and my sister both admitted they preferred crispy fries to mushy fries and he took offense.

Banoffee pie was apparently inspired by a San Fran baker's recipe only as recently as 1971. In other words, "real" England.

banoffee pie is a terrible name, it should be renamed after a famous singer, like peach melba: banana gaga

Hannah Banana was right there

Three slices of smoked back bacon on a toasted hoagie roll, onion marmalade under, ketchup over. Eaten this morning.

Josh, would your kid like fish finger sandwiches?

Most recently he supposedly went on a rant when my daughter mentioned how the Banoffee pie was similar to a banana cream pie. "No, you're dismissing the history behind it! This is what I hate about Americans saying they have the same thing! It's uniquely British! It's so special and there are all these little minute differences!"

She's not just teen, she's 19! I doubt she would eat a fish finger sandwich now, but when she was little she would probably have eaten the fish and bread separately, the former with (yes) ketchup and the latter plain.

And yeah, I think my common law brother in law is kind of lame, afaict (I haven't spent much time with him). He's a bright guy and plays in a band but has this unbreakable/unbearable bond with the north of England and yet, simultaneously, a shallow and tedious dislike of "authority" (which allegedly lead him to leave school at a really young age, which may in turn have amplified his shoulder-chip, who knows).

We have tried trolling before, but it's not always that satisfying. Like when they were visiting the States and it was overcast and we were all "I bet it reminds you of home!" and he freaked out. "It's not always like this in England!!! Americans always think every day is gloomy and rainy!"

Not sure who the teenager is there tbh

xp oh no I know the type already. Sees London paralysed by snow or airports shut or something and sends out memes “Northerners, time to put your big coat on”. Tedious.

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/put-your-big-coat-on-how-to-survive-the-coming-winter-by-a-northerner-20210924212416

He refuses to even go to London. Like, my kids: maybe we can meet up in London! Him: why would anyone want to go there?! Us (to ourselves): why would anyone want to go to Leeds? He's not even some burley bloke or whatever, he's basically a big indie dork, which makes him extra insufferable.

a professional northerner from Leeds who is in a band and who does a fair bit of whiny belligerent culinary jingoism when with foreign guests, either for fun or maybe seriously idk? But I'm certain he sounds like a dickhead. But it might just the way you are making them sound here!

He refuses to even go to London

that London, to use the correct terminology

xpost Maybe! I've been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Fwiw I don't think he's messing with *us*.

Here's another one: when we were last there and following our visit with a stop in Lisbon, he just could not conceive of why we would want to go to Portugal.

LOL he's like a walking cliche

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BODg3OWZhZGYtNTMyZS00OTA4LTg4NDktMDg1NjI0YzU3OGI1XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMDIzNDc0MA@@._V1_.jpg

Next time he says the price of something, get your daughter to say ‘owwww mooch?’

Can't believe someone from Leeds is a nob

Next time you visit the UK, why not suggest meeting in Sheffield?

the worst professional northerner I ever met was this guy called Bob, he was someone who had worked as a mining electrician for 30 odd years. He was marking me for a practical testing and inspection exam. As I approached the rig he said "bloody 'ell you are humming.. I can tell you've been eating some foreign crap". I probably did eat a clove of garlic in something the night before, but so rude. Anyway he failed me on a minor technicality, the tosser.

We did go there once. Hiked around the Dales, it was lovely.

Worse than a professional Northener, a professional Yorkshireman.

that's what I meant, I always assume the main offenders are from Yorkshire - no other region is close at producing such wankers

Everyone I've known from the NE is pretty much like this, ditto Liverpool. PS I grew up in Muswell Hill

A professional Scouser is a different but equally as horrible phenomenon.

tbf I'm not sure exactly where in the north he is from. His accent doesn't seem particularly northern-strong. I think he has family in Scotland, but he's definitely not Scottish.

ok that rules out Pat Nevin

He lives in the Scottish Borders fwiw.

He's right about the bacon tbf

What's the deal with the bacon?

is it just streaky bacon in the US or something?

xp USA generally has streaky bacon (and Canadian ham??). UK has that but also back bacon which is what you tend to have in a bacon sandwich/ roll.


(ILX has some form of this discussion every ~3 months or so :-) )

I also couldn't find sausages anywhere that tasted anything like normal British sausages. Some random store sold some packaged as "British Bangers", they were not great but probably the closest I found. Other sausage is good but sometimes you want bacon, sausages, baked beans and toast that isn't weirdly sweet.

my life there was a living hell evidently :-D

I learned about US bacon from Breaking Bad

Meades was pretty scathing about "the good old British banger" iirc, but I think he had a point tbh. The Irish and the Italian bangers are objectively better, not being a foodie here because generally I just buy supermarket own brand cumberlands, but couldn't imagine missing them!

lol i started trying to read the meades piece and it's as pompously unreadable as anything jay fkn rayner ever committed

also don't call a magazine "the critic"

in conclusion: english sausages may be bad but they're better than english food writing

(also they're not bad they're good)

To me "the good old British banger" means the Richmond/Walls style sawdust and pink goo abominations served in canteens and caffs, but there are much better ones available in all good supermarkets

xp
I was referring to one of his pompously watchable tv programs, can't remember which one it was where he dissed British bangers, may have been Fast Food

his recipe book is garbage

tbh i've never watched any of his telly shows

a Richmond sausage is exactly what you want for a proper sausage sandwich i will die on this hill

nowt wrong with Richmonds, apart from the thin ones being too thin

Richmonds isn't pink goo, it was originally made as an Irish style sausage, totally agree about Walls though