Football Chants

one for the New England Revolution

Oh, Tay-lor Twellman has a cold sore,
Has a cold sore,
Has a COLD SORE!
Now Ste-vie Ralston has a cold sore,
Has a cold sore,
Has a COLD SORE!
Now Shir-ly Joseph has a cold sore,
Has a cold sore,
Has a COLD SORE!
Now Ste-vie Nichol has a cold sore,
Has a cold sore,
Has a COLD SORE!
Now Jayyy Heaps has a cold sore,
Has a cold sore,
Has a COLD SORE!
And Maaatt Ries has a cold sore,
From suck-ing off his mom!

"We've got Novak, we've got Novaa-ak.
"Our carpets are filthy, we've got Novak."
Huddersfield Town supporters show their love for Lee Novak.

"When the City are playing frightful,
"We've got our Dutchman so delightful,
"And even though he's just on loan,
"Evander Sno, Evander Sno, Evander Sno!"

Bristol City supporters to the tune of Let It Snow - about the on-loan Ajax midfield maestro.

Bollocks does that work.

"Who did you support before?"
Leeds fans question the football fidelity of the MK Dons support.

Who *did* they support before?

Also "Where were you when you were shit?" to a packed Ewood Park watching Walker's millions winning them the league.

"Boom boom boom, let me hear you say Bale, Ba-le!"

delicious

Not least because Bale! Bale! Bale! was kinda rubbish

Surprised there's no mention of the Gary Neville song, to the tune of Rebel Rebel (it really is the name of his father at the end, of course)
Neville, Neville, you play in defence,
Neville, Neville, your play is immense,
Neville, Neville, like Jacko you’re bad,
Neville Neville is the name of your dad

Went to the 98 World Cup final, and on the way back on the train, we taught the defeated Brazilian fans in our carriage to sing "He's fat/ He's shit/ He's never fucking fit/ Ronaldo/ Ronaldo." Which is not that funny in and of itself, but was when sung by 200 Brazilians in yellow shirts.

neville nevilles a classic alright

UEFA Cup Final 2003, shuttle bus to the stadium from the centre of Seville was spent teaching some bemused Portugeezers (to the tune of "she'll be coming round the mountain")

"they'll be jumping out the windaes when we win, they'll be jumping out the windaes when we win, they'll be jumping out the windaes, jumping out the windaes, jumping out the windaes when we win"

"and we hope it's spikey railings when they land..."

"and we hope the paramedics are on strike..."

and various other verses of increasing unpleasantness

Also, on the Sloop John B tip, last year at a Celtic v Rangers reserve game at Ibrox, when Rangers goalie Allan McGregor's tabloid-friendly lovelife was in full swing:

"The baby's not yours, the baby's not yours, Allan McGregor, the baby's not yours"

*pause*

"It's Paddy McCourt's, it's Paddy McCourt's, Allan McGregor, it's Paddy McCourt's"

(it's not Paddy McCourt's, AFAIK, btw)

two andy gorams ftw tho

catchy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-tagn3lB3I&feature=player_embedded

total shite

He's big, he's bad, he's Wesley Brown,
He's the hardest man in all the town.
With orange hair beware.
Come and have a go if you dare...

What you on about? That one was always great!

NO ONE LIKES US, NO ONE LIKES US
NO ONE LIKES US, WE DON'T CARE!

WE ARE MILLWALL, SUPER MILLWALL
WE ARE MILWALL FROM THE DEN!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coUd-AaLkjQ