Chicago: Beef, Love and Understanding

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I absolutely love reading 1-star reviews. Going over Arrested Development 1-stars--no big surprises* but still satisfying reading.

*Perhaps I missed something. Something important. But I could not sit through even the extended pilot. I understand my tastes must be weird but come on, look at, say, Golden Girls, or The Nanny. Those shows are cracking. This one? No way. Supersized monologues, dialogues that seem to be out of school play, just boring. Some people say they need a "background laughing track", well it's missing for a reason -- the show is not funny.

The show, however, is a little too cornball (to use a show phrase) for me. [This actually is sort of surprising. AD? Cornball??]

I had to stop after the first disc because every single character drove me nuts. You want to smack them, shake them, drive them far out into a desert and abandon to walk home, and hope they don't make it. They're not just eccentric or disfunctional...they're the most selfish people on earth. If this is where America is heading or what riches can do, save me from both. I loathed them all, even the one sensible son who tries so hard for "family." I kept saying: Run, run, run...take your son and run for it! But he doesn't. Idiot.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:02 (seventeen years ago) link

But he doesn't.

Should've stuck around.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:04 (seventeen years ago) link

It always amazes me when people don't get joeks, like those freepers who thought the Colbert Report was for reals.

― dan m, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Some people say they need a "background laughing track"

I don't think I've ever heard anyone argue in favor of a laugh track before. Ever, for anything, ever.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Some of these reviewers favorite movies: Phat Girls, The Nutty Professor, Big Fish.

Also hated: (Cronenberg's) Crash, Hedwig, and Happiness.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Though surely it has happened in history. Married With Children would be lost without the laugh track.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:11 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm tired of working. You think there's a Married With Children marathon on somewhere?

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:12 (seventeen years ago) link

That review is kind of how I feel about AD, too. Altho I have only seen maybe two eps ever.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:15 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah, it's really better on dvd, from the beginning.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:18 (seventeen years ago) link

The NY Times has a big profile of Chi thetre scene today, incl place I've never heard of called House Theater.

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:19 (seventeen years ago) link

look at, say, Golden Girls, or The Nanny. Those shows are cracking

...

― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:19 (seventeen years ago) link

if anyone says anything bad about the golden girls i swear to god i'll crawl through this internet connection, out your monitor, and kick your ass.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:20 (seventeen years ago) link

Those reviews don't seem to take into account that these characters are written to be selfish, annoying, irredemable.

Ha ha, 2-star review of Hedwig
This movie is definitely not for the faint-hearted. Main character John Cameron Mitchell goes into songs detailing his "angry inch." It could have been a good movie if it were more tastefully done, or with less singing, because 'Hedwig' is at heart, a musical.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:22 (seventeen years ago) link

new rule: if you have not watched television for the last 10 years, you do not get to review television shows.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Every time I hear the Golden Girls mentioned I can't help but think of that movie Airheads -- "Naked pictures of Bea Arthur?!?!?" Also: "Bea Arthur... outstanding."

― dan m, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:22 (seventeen years ago) link

(kevin: i loved the golden girls, too.)

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Again, about Hedwig, from a reviewer in San Jose, CA

I am disappointed. Most of these type of movies (by that I mean foreign) are wonderful. This was just an annoyance. The animation was really juvenille. The only saving grace about this movie was the monologue. But that was coarse and strained at times as well.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:25 (seventeen years ago) link

It's a foreign movie, from a land called "New York City."

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:26 (seventeen years ago) link

From what glorious repository of popular opinion are you culling these gems?

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Nothing against The Golden Girls. I haven't seen it in years, but I did find it pretty funny at the time. It's more just that GG and The Nanny seem like poor examples to use to contrast with AD. Like, if that's your idea of the pinnacle of comedy, then maybe AD just isn't really your style.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:30 (seventeen years ago) link

These are from Netflix, but Amazon is great for this too. Actually, Amazon is easier because you can show only certain levels of ratings.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:32 (seventeen years ago) link

I will watch the hell out of GG, but like John said, how the hell are you going to compare AD and GG? It's like comparing apples with --oh I don't know--something completely unlike apples.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Aluminum siding.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Asian pears! No...

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Did I already tell you this story?

The other day I had a guy at my table who ordered the tuna sashimi. I told him it is accompanied by fried rice and veggies. He asked, "Why?" He wanted to know why it was served with fried rice. I told him he could leave off the rice and just have vegetables or could get white rice or mashed potatoes. He didn't want to make any changes, just wanted to know why it was served with fried rice. What kind of question is that? Especially when I'm running my ass off trying to keep my head above water?

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:40 (seventeen years ago) link

"because that's how the chef wanted to serve it"

I hate people like that.

― dan m, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:41 (seventeen years ago) link

BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY MY DARK OVERLORD SATAN COMMANDS IT.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Satan demands mixed vegetables but NO SQUASH. It gives him the runs.

― dan m, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:45 (seventeen years ago) link

dude, Kevin, I am so tickled by the fact that you love the Golden Girls. I mean, it's objectively the best TV show ever, but for some reason the idea of you watching it is adorable.

― horseshoe, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:49 (seventeen years ago) link

i love love LOVE bea arthur.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:49 (seventeen years ago) link

and her character on golden girls SLAYS me. i wasn't a fan of really stupid rose or really slutty blache but bea arthur was always spot on.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Our chef rides the fine line between insanity and brilliance, and he decided to match the Japanese classic sashimi, with the unlikely side of rice.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:52 (seventeen years ago) link

skirts, boots and teaching? ;_;
nagging about voting isn't out of character for me at all, IF YOU KNOW ME.

― La Lechera, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:57 (seventeen years ago) link

i have the gg's on RIGHT NOW.

i just watched part of the episode where dorothy disapproves of blanche's new bossy boyfriend and then he tries to grab her arm and she screams and blanche dumps the dude on the spot.

― La Lechera, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:58 (seventeen years ago) link

i am rewarding myself for a rough day with tacos, golden girls and catching up on this thread. only one of those things disappointed me. GUESS WHICH ONE.

― La Lechera, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:58 (seventeen years ago) link

No one likes to be reduced to a few words. I know you are an enigma, but I remember skirts, boot, and teaching. Please not to break out of character.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:59 (seventeen years ago) link

I love slutty Blanche, I have to say. not as much as Bea Arthur, but a good deal.

― horseshoe, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 21:59 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost-- I can't imagine any of them being disappointing, unless Golden Girls was a clips episode.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I love Rose and what's her name--Bea Arthur's mother.

― Jesse, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

try again

(i was sort of kidding. who am i to be disappointed in the internet?)

― La Lechera, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Sophia! Estelle Getty ruled.

― horseshoe, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

1. I thought the Hatto fraud story was sad because dude did it to salvage the reputation of his cancer-wracked wife, hello.
2. Didn't the creator of Arrested Development work on Golden Girls for a long time?

― n/a, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:01 (seventeen years ago) link

remember when this used to be my gmail status indicator:

[Sophia enters kitchen]
Dorothy: You couldn't sleep either, huh?
Sophia: No, I'm sleeping so good I thought I'd come try it in the sink.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:03 (seventeen years ago) link

also, i've decided to shave my head bald and will henceforth be applying pipecleaners to my skull in lieu of hair.

― chicago kevin, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Didn't the creator of Arrested Development work on Golden Girls for a long time?

OMG you're right, that's where Mitchell Hurwitz got his start. Maybe the comparison is not so outlandish, then.

only one of those things disappointed me. GUESS WHICH ONE.

I'm sorry I'm a stubborn idiot.

remember when this used to be my gmail status indicator:

Totally. The best thing about GG is Sophia's sarcastic retorts.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:07 (seventeen years ago) link

1. I thought the Hatto fraud story was sad because dude did it to salvage the reputation of his cancer-wracked wife, hello.

That's his side of the story, but apparently he's been convicted of fraud before. The man's a charlatan, from what I understand, and the fact he's using his dying wife as his excuse is, like, 2000x more slimy.

OTOH, she was a willing participant, apparently, and was exacting some kind of revenge on the record industry that she was unable to break into? Something like that.

I do think it's funny that classical music aficionados got their leg piddled on.

― kenan, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:09 (seventeen years ago) link

re GGs, I had no idea so many of you were secretly gay.

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:13 (seventeen years ago) link

It should be a movie starring Jim Broadbent and Judi Dench. INSTANT OSCAR.

― n/a, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:13 (seventeen years ago) link

awesome xpost

― n/a, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:14 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't think Jesse is particularly secretive about it, and Kenan and I have both owned up to gayish tendencies. That only leaves Kevin.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 22:15 (seventeen years ago) link

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