2013 Great British Bake Off & PRESENTER FITE

2014, fuck

could some kind soul change that?

oh I can choose btwn Mel and sue

last year ilx ruined this for me but also the contestants were maybe just not very good at baking either

don't be like that. we can ruin it again this year, baby x

lol no doubt

went for sue because sue is perfect

and so she is.

but i voted Mel.

I've the greatest of respect for that POV, good day to you

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episode 1 was great, i think. lots of good characters particularly the older people: Nancy (who rightly won star baker in the first week) (i love the name Nancy) plus the old scottish naval officer guy and the other woman in her 60s who i think was called Diana. The bald guy who is a builder shows great promise too as does the 17 year old, Martha (another great name) who, i hope, doesn't suffer from horrible online trolling (i can imagine it coming). The woman who left in week one seemed lovely also.

fantastic start overall.

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the casting is a bit strange this year? very white and VERY straight, and most of the men seem indistinguishable. no 20-somethings at all? it seems noticeable on a show that's known for its gay representation and fanbase. (although, have we ever had a lesbian contestant?)

all the female contestants are pretty good though, looking forward to more of the precocious posh child, the ruthless guillotining nancy (who is very good and knows exactly how good she is and does not appear to know what pressure is) and chetna. diana is unusual in that she's an older trad contestant who seems a bit insecure rather than bullish about her old-fashionedness, i hope she gets a chance to shine.

of the men, the old merchant navy duffer prob makes for the best tv, though i'm not sure i like him as such. zulu boat themed biscuits a bit too close to the colonial bone even for a programme like this. the guy who won star baker seems really talented but that was the first time i managed to tell him apart from the other bald middle-aged white guy. seriously they both seem decent but of all the thousands who applied it's really unnecessary to end up with two bald middle-aged white men who look almost identical.

wait, you mean these two?

http://i1.macclesfield-express.co.uk/incoming/article7565433.ece/alternates/s615/uktv-the-great-british-bake-off-luis.jpg

http://i4.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article3927710.ece/alternates/s615/The-Great-British-Bake-Off.jpg

don't touch it tbh

jesus.

did they always do this v elaborate final challenge? i mean, i know it was always called the showstopper but didn't that used to be e.g. "make us 24 really excellent biscuits" rather than "build us an elaborate and ridiculous cgi movie made completely out of biscuit"? i mean the first challenge this week and last asked for 36 identical biscuits/cakes, which is silly (they used to ask for 12 or 24 as a showstopper, iirc). you may mock the old naval officer for making zulu boats, or whatever, out of shortbread but since when has any of this shit had anything to do with being a good baker anyway? plus the old guy seems sound and decent anyway.

i did enjoy learning about the history of ice cream cones or "pokes" as they used to be called round here.

Don't actually hate this entire batch just yet

I miss the days of not having time to do-over, genuine crap bakers.

Stop crying

really enjoyed the 2014 group

i'll check if the new episodes are up on netflix usa tonight

I dunno, some of the bakers seemed a bit crap this episode. Usually some stay crap and other reveal "hidden talents" or whatevs.

Good entrance from Selasi:

http://i.giphy.com/2dbIoC4KbxF6.gif

Some years better than others but this show doesn't seem to have had a bad year?

Usually they get the meta "I can't believe I'm in the tent" bullshit out of the way in the first ten mins

not a lot of interesting people this time around

it was so obvious lee was going to be the one they let go

maybe some will grow on me

Like

I know they have a set no of ppl to get rid of each week

But

If u cant get 24 biscuits on a plate you should be fucked out the door

No wait, no judge involved, any production assistant can deliver the line "six of you dropped your trays for fucks sake get out"

My god.

Everybody's showstoppers are dying.

DIE DAMPFNUDEL

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Hmm, there's a lot of petitions and boycotting now Mel and Sue have bailed.

I never knew they were the most popular thing, but now I see the poll results..

And now Mary Berry has quit. Who the fuck wants to just watch Paul Hollywood + ad breaks? Good luck Channel 4 :-(

quite apart from everything else, mb is 81 -- she may be a treasured tiny mummy but has presumably had a quit-date quietly proving in the back of her mind's fridge for a while now

Hollywood's going to Channel 4. So they have basically bought Paul Hollywood and the concept of baking. FFS.

His solo show travelling around various cities isn't bad tbh

Hollywood's statement: "I want to thank the BBC and Mel and Sue for making my time in the tent great fun and really rewarding".

Think he thought Berry was coming with him, or think he just doesn't like her?

i've always assumed they loathe one another but tbf i assume that of any two ppl who appear together on TV except mel and sue

But you'd at least kid on for your press release when the entire country is going "WAU WE LOVE MARY BERRY", no?

yes i'm guessing he was blindsided by this (which is arguably evidence she doesn't confide in him)

ph is pretty much channel 4 personified

No he isn't - he's Yeast Jesus (meaning: a massive God-botherer).

C4 to rebundle the format as a pre-reformation version of indulgences: viz the winner is awarded a FREE PASS TO HEAVEN for baking well, losers dragged off-stage by actors dressed as demons into hellmouth vomiting flame -- hollywood wears doublet, hose, codpiece and floppy tudor hat

working title: BRING UP THE STOTTIES

i can't believe channel 4 paid tens of millions for the show without making sure the presenters were locked down first - that's fucking insane!

iyo when did channel 4 go from the slightly crap edgy channel that sometimes did decent stuff to literally the worst entertainment organisation in history

naked bakeoff pls

on the plus side, it is a potentially great opportunity to take some old comedy duos out of mothballs and revive their careers - cannon and ball? little and large? hale and pace?

actually a vic and bob bake-off would be amazing

Little and Large no longer on speaking terms apparently, them reuniting to present Bake Off could be a heartwarming moment, though

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/little-and-large-havent-spoken-for-a-long-time-1988413.html

Large, who has a non-speaking part in Dappers, a comedy-drama pilot for BBC3

jesus god that story is depressing

vic and bob bakeoff -

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=towd9vZWDJg

"you're just a fakey cake maker and i ain't, got, time, for YOU!"

Zig and Zag?

(agree Vic & Bob would be great)

watching that vic and bob masterchef video i realised i know it pretty much by heart despite it being at least 15 years since i last saw it. the image of floating mekon-headed cutlery-fingered loyd grossman is burned indelibly into my memory

zig and zag ftw, definitely

(or gaz top and gilbert the alien)

I'm secretly hoping for Adam & Joe, but this won't happen.

Emma Forbes & Jayne Middlemiss (seeing as Mel & Sue were big on C4 20 years ago).

http://connorpr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/SFX-SBH-2.jpg

has a topical back-to-the-early-70s vibe also

adam and joe would be great too! we're going to be so disappointed when it ends up being dermot o'leary and melinda messenger

popbitch reporting its gok wan and alan carr.

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/fun_house_cast_6648.jpg

My serious suggestion that I made on Twitter if they wanted to maintain the air of a lovely WI baking contest with a bit of wit and charm was Richard Coles in the Mel & Sue role.

gok wan and alan carr clearly the result of panicking c4 execs checking the filing cabinets for presenters still under contract then picking two out of a hat

could just as easily have been kirstie allsopp and nick hewer

or sketch out of tattoo fixers and the french guy from first dates

Dave Lamb voiceover, Davina presenting. Tim Lovejoy and Simon Rimmer eating cakes. Sorted.

Or a Dave Lamb/George Lamb double whammy of Lambs. That's probably the sort of thing they'd do.

It's unlikely to be Ruby Tandoh anyway: http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2016-09-22/former-bake-off-contestant-ruby-tandoh-has-made-it-very-clear-where-she-stands-on-paul-hollywood-moving-to-channel-4

lol, ruby is the best

this show took a weird turn

i've still not watched last night's episode

also this:

naked bakeoff pls

― glumdalclitch, Thursday, September 22, 2016 5:01 AM (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

reminded me of naked chef :(

miss jamie's good old days

reminded me of keith chegwin's naked game show on channel five :(

technically keith was not without clothes

i really don't think headwear counts as clothing in this context tbh

failed joke :(

sorry

My favourite thing in Bake Off history was 2014 winner Nancy referring to Paul Hollywood as "the male judge" because she couldn't remember his name. It still makes me lol.

Ein Volk, ein Reich, two eggs and some sugar and you should have the perfect Black Forest gateau.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/nintchdbpict000351231934.jpg

Who knew the Beeb had a black ops department?

Bake Off: Paul Hollywood in Nazi outfit apology

The 51-year-old said the pictures dated from 2003, when he went to a New Year's Eve party as a character from the 1980s WW2-set BBC comedy series 'Allo 'Allo.

Surely no-one in Allo Allo ever wore a swastika.

Googling 'british people wearing nazi outfit' brings up this faq-like article about the subject. Its very existence and dry take on the question amuses me.

It's a bit nothing isn't it

I'm sure it will just piss by.

unknown nazi in goalmouth scramble