My Stepdad Went to Jail Today for Assaulting me.

He choked me and yelled in my face that I was a worthless piece of shit and a parasite. He is in jail for at least the night... tomorrow is a different situation. Me and my mom are in the same boat. Any ideas on what we can do? I have a bunch of stuff in the house and we both own dogs... he's in county lockup for the night but tomorrow he might be out.

Oh yeah and just for search engine purposes W4LT3R RICH4RD R0M3R0 of ARIZONA CITY commits DOMESTIC ABUSE and AGGRAVATED ASSAULT against INNOCENT PARTIES including WOMEN and although I'm not a CHILD, I've been dealing with his verbal and emotional abuse since I was a pre-teen.

So... uh, we have maybe 48 hours to figure out a solution better than homeless shelters... anyone have any experience in this situation? It's new to me...

man that is awful, i'm so sorry you and your mother have to go through this.

both my father and my stepfather punched me in the face as a teen, and on both occasions it took me stopping my mom from calling the police. in the former case it led to my mom finally leaving my dad.

Sorry to hear that clouds... domestic abuse is sooooo often just swept under the rug. Today I decided enough was enough and called the cops. I don't know how old you were a kid when you were a teen, but likely it wouldn't have done much to call the cops... these days its a bit different, thankfully. The criminal justice system takes these things far more seriously than they used to even 5-10 years ago.

Hi, Frobisher, I'm really sorry to hear this. Your stepdad is a piece of shit, and I'm glad you had the courage to call the cops.

Yeah, unfortunately, I do have experience with shit like this, though I'm not sure how much help I can be, as I only know the system on the other side of the Atlantic. Some advice, though:

1) I would advice you to googleproof the arsehole's name. Not to protect him, but to protect *you*. There is certainly past precedent for abusive douchebags using ILX to find information on people, and on their friends. I know you're angry and you have every right to be, but your number one concern here is protecting yourself and your mother.

2) In the UK, there is a service called Refuge, specifically organised to help people like your mother and yourself. (They can help rehouse families, anonymously if needed.) I don't know if there is a similar service in your area - I'm guessing there probably is, though it would probably have a different name. Suggestions to finding it: google "domestic violence shelter" and your state; or else ask the police that arrested him for the contact details for Victims Services. (I may be over-assuming that there is something like this in the US?)

In my case, I was lucky; I had family that my ex-partner had never met, who lived in another county. I stayed with them until I found my feet. The problem, though, as I'm sure you're aware, is that if you stay with people that are known to your abuser, it's entirely possible that you abuser will turn up either to carry on his assault, or, worse, to attempt to convince your mother that her best option is to return to him. So wherever you go, be careful that he does not get the address to come after you. (Hence why I'm suggesting you googleproof.)

Good luck to you and your mother, stay strong - it's taken an enourmous amount of courage to get to this step. He's a shitbag and a monster. I hope you are able to find help, get out, and make the fresh start that you deserve.

Yeah, I am definitely going to googleproof the guy's name.

this sounds awful. i don't know what the conditions are for getting a restraining order of some sort put on your stepdad but it might be worth getting some legal advice on that if you're able?

http://www.azlawhelp.org/articles_info.cfm?mc=1&sc=4&articleid=89
Frobisher, I'm sorry you and your mom are having to deal with this. That link has a long list of resources, including a crisis line. They can help you sort things out for your next steps.

Has frobisher been around since?

he went to jail for socking his stepdad

stepdads are evil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UH0B4CSn3w

Harbl I like you generally but that comment really bums me out

Indeed

Would have expected more support for a victim of domestic violence.

Hey guys thanks for all the support! An update: he can't come into contact with us or the house until at least the 19th of this month when his trial is. We are still trying to find alternative lodging but for right now we are very safe. Thanks!!

hope you're able to find alternative lodging with some ease. the way the victims of abuse often find themselves responsible for picking up the pieces of the mess they didn't create is such rubbish, but it is good that you are free of that negative influence.

To echo Branwell above, Refuge was a godsend for a friend of mine, so I hope there's a comparable service in your area.

oh btw for anyone wondering, I used to be Viceroy, but I got tired of that handle.

i hope that this leads to you and your mom getting out of that situation permanently, frobs.

Their are a lot of resources here, the main problem is that me and my mom both own dogs, and a most of shelters and halfway houses won't take dogs. :(

Seems that violence of male adults in a domestic situation is more common than I thought. If violence against women goes under-reported then imagine what its like for guys?

this is why we need ccw and to honor the second amendent. a bullet in the noggin is the only language these fucks will ever understand

just my $0.02

frobisher I'm glad you are both safe right now, cannot imagine what you are going through

<3

I am glad you're safe & I'm glad that you're getting out of the situation!

WRT your dogs - if shelters don't accept pets, do you have friends or family who would be able to dog-sit? Boarding, I know, would be prohibitively expensive. But if you knew anyone who could look after your animals if you paid for their food? Since a shelter is going to be a temporary situation until you can get rehoused?

Stay safe & I'm thinking of you.

Have you thought about fostering your dogs? Groups like PAWS might be able to help. At least until you can find decent shelter.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I know that temporary housing can be equally scary. Nothing like having your own space and being self-sufficient.

So, you're like an hour between Phoenix & Tucson?

exactly, kingfish. in the middle on nowhere.

*of

hope you find a solution here f......

Like, Casa Grande? I only ask because I spent a rather boring week there a few years ago for work.

Hah! Yes BLAM... and it appears I'll be moving into a trailer park there soon! More good news: we have a long-term restraining order on the perpetrator.

I'm very glad to hear that. Thanks for updating.

good news!