Star Wars 7 Spoilers Thread: This SPOIL bath is going to feel so good.

But....so much of tfa and the entire series is already forced, unnecessary and repeated!

Like, does anyone not believe that ren and rey won't turn out to be relatives? That Finn's birth lineage won't end up as a factor?

The fantasy (as opposed to scifi) tropes have always dictated events and major twists in SW. Blood will out is a constant theme and, while I'd welcome a split from the doctrine I'd be hugely surprised if the team behind the movie that had all of those reprised beats could resist big reveals along these lines in the next 2 or 3.

the biggest botch in the new one remains all the cutaways to the pointless CGI bombing run by Oscar Isaac and his friends

ironically phantom menace made the same mistake -- perfunctory space battle stuffed into crosscut clusterfuck climax because death star. but there it certainly wasn't the biggest botch.

Thats for sure

I agree that, sad as it is, there's no way that there isn't gonna be some major revelation regarding Rey's lineage. They but so much foreshadowing into the first movie (if she's just random girl who's parents happened to die, they wouldn't have had that whole mysterious flashback scene), plus like Darragh said, SW is fantasy at heart, and in fantasy the random country bumbpkin who saves the day can't really be random, has to be a secret prince(ss) or something. Okay, you have The Hobbit and LotR as counterexample, but those are really the exception not the rule, and even there Aragorn's lineage turned out to be super important.

On the other hand, I can't imagine how the revelation won't be disappointing in one way or another. I mean, since it's extremely unlikely they'd reveal her to be related to some oscure Extended Universe Jedi, there's really only three options:

* Rey is Obi-Wan's grand-daughter. However, this would come pretty much out of nowhere, since Obi-Wan was never shown to have any love interests, and he was may more into following the Way of the Jedi (meaning no hanky-panky and no kids) than Anakin or anyone else. So it'd feel like pointless retcon just to make Rey related to some Important Character.

* Rey is Kylo's sister. This would make their antagonism a lot more interesting, and also explain why she bonded so well with Han, but it'd probably take some contrived plot wankery to explain how neither Han nor Leia knew they had a second kid. Also, this'd once again make it look like sequels are just imitating the original movies, with yet another secret sibling relation (and some incestuous undertones).

* Rey is Luke's daughter. This would be such obvious revelation that the people expecting some cleverer twist would be disappointed. But on the other hand, it'd be the least contrived option of these three, thematically and plot-wise. Also, it'd make all 9 SW movies into a neat family saga, with each movie trilogy focusing on one generation in the Skywalker lineage.

You guys are really into grinding out any joy you might feel in the future, huh?

Speculation in serial fiction is part of the fun, man. Every flash gordon ended on a cliffhanger for a reason.

Like, when big t finn and I agree on this, its prob solid tbh

They but so much foreshadowing into the first movie (if she's just random girl who's parents happened to die, they wouldn't have had that whole mysterious flashback scene)

I guess I felt like this was already paid off, though? Like she has this vision of this place where Luke is - which is part of a scene about her being confronted with the Force and being freaked out by it - and then later, after she's come to accept this part of herself, she makes her way to that place. The other mysterious flashback stuff seemed kinda straightforward IIRC - parents leaving her behind, promising to return sometime, but in fact they're never coming back.

I think the real "rhyming poetry" here could be that the kind of thing Obi-Wan talked about in Star Wars actually did happen here, with no "from a certain point of view" twist: Rey's parents were Luke's students, and Kylo Ren - who was a pupil of Luke's, before he turned to evil - betrayed and murdered them. There's your family connection. But it's already been a minute since I rewatched it and I don't remember the exact contents of the flashback shots, so I could be missing something crucial.

lol, I forgot about this exchange. Obi-Wan is such a prick.

Obi-Wan: "So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view."
Luke: "A certain point of view?"
Obi-Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

ugh that's just reminding me of Anakin's really dumb "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!" from their volcano showdown in the last prequel.

I was 8 when Jedi came out and even then I know that exchange was bullshit

SCALES BEGAN 2 FALL

rey's a gender flipped clone of anakin skywalker

i read it on the internet

or cloned from luke's severed hand or some shit i dunno

Rey is Yoda's second cousin once removed.

Rey is Bib Fortuna's tentacle therapist's daughter's best friend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZd_YyFzPD0

"Rey's parents were Luke's students, and Kylo Ren - who was a pupil of Luke's, before he turned to evil - betrayed and murdered them. There's your family connection."

this seems like the most likely backstory

The chronology gets maybe a little weird with regard to their respective ages - how old, at a minimum, would you need to be to lead a murderous Dark Side rebellion at Jedi Camp? The real life age gap between Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley is ~8 years, but are we meant to read that in the characters or are they more the 'same' generation?

But I guess if Daisy wasn't actually there, having been sent away by her parents before things got really bad, then it wouldn't be surprising that she and Ren don't recognize each other or w/e.

That seems like an okay backstory. Rey's big trial as a Jedi can then be about taking revenge on Kylo vs. bringing him back to the light side.

Ah i hope not sometimes you gotta just kill the bad guy

Idk, it would certainly be an interesting route to go, especially in a world where Superman kills people and so on. They've gone out of their way to try and make Ren as irredeemable as possible, but aren't those the situations where forgiveness becomes even more radical? Like presumably Darth Vader committed all kinds of heinous crimes, such as participating in the destruction of Alderaan, but Obi-Wan wouldn't kill him, and Luke still believed there was "good in him." I could see it being pitched as the major character arc, especially if they can come up with some way to have her really be tempted by the expedient/emotional path of the Dark Side.

I've said it before but one of the best things about Empire is Yoda making clear that Luke doing what we expect the hero to do - run off and try to save Han and company - is actually the Dark Side path. That's the only time the 'temptation' of the Dark Side really makes any non-cartoon sense, and it brings it much more in touch with everyday or existential choices real people might make even as they think they're doing good. Would love to see them get back to that sensibility, over the mwahahahaha eeeeeevillll of Palpatine and the goofy con-job idea of "temptation" in the prequels.

'radical' might not be the best word to convince darragh, in fairness.

Im a turtles fan from way back you tiresome bore.

The new-canon books are starting to imply something was on Jakku that the Emperor hid there, or knew about. Who knows if it has anything to do with Rey, though.

Maybe her parents were the keepers of the great sithbeast of jakku

Of or relating to a tube, in its totality.

could also explain why she was left on that planet -- Yoda had that creepy darkside cave masking his presence on Dagobah, maybe the sithbeast balances things out and masks Rey's presence

Rey's big trial as a Jedi can then be about taking revenge on Kylo vs. bringing him back to the light side.

jedis don't do revenge!

That will be Luke's line.

Speaking of sithbeast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvO9w8FQOUk&feature=youtu.be

Just think while you've been getting down and out about the nerfherders and wretched scum and villains of the galaxy you could have been getting down to This. Sith. Beast.

Keep reading that as 'shitbeast'.

lol how's life

oh boy

bushes of love wow

loool

Jesus christ that thing is an hour long

Kylo is supposed to be around 30. Rey is 19/20

Rey is Obi-Wan's grand-daughter. However, this would come pretty much out of nowhere, since Obi-Wan was never shown to have any love interests,

uh Anakin

this seems to cover most theories

http://www.dorkly.com/post/77088/the-7-best-fan-theories-on-reys-origins

i still like the granddaughter theory even though it is v flawed, hmph

Episode VIII: Obi-Wan is Back, Baby

loooooooool @ rey being anakin with facial reconstruction

The other Bad Lip Reading SW things on YT are awesome as well

The other mysterious flashback stuff seemed kinda straightforward IIRC - parents leaving her behind, promising to return sometime, but in fact they're never coming back.

But this flashback quite pointedly doesn't show us who the parents were or what they looked like... If it was simply a case of her parents being some random folks who left her behind, why not show them onscreen? And of course there's also the fact that Rey's family name is never mentioned, unlike with every other character in the movie. (Except Finn, but for him there's an obvious explanation for that.)

Rey.... Binks

Oh jesus.

Folks if finn turns out to be landos son we're gonna have to start a bombing campaign thats agreed right

I'm glad you thought this was the best one, I kinda do too. In one of these interviews with Lawrence Kasdan he talks about wanting to make it "delightful" and I think they really succeeded at that

my bet is that Rey is Palpatine's granddaughter

I mean with all the mirroring of the original trilogy, why wouldn't the hero turn out to be related to someone evil?