Il Douché and His Discontents: The 2016 Primary Voting Thread, Part 4

aside from voting for Bernie in 25 days, i think i shall withdraw from this event. carefully and without slippage.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, March 25, 2016 12:26 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0kAf8wwKX0

new cybermetal band name idea: betrayers of the seed

Pretty clearly, Cruz has had sex on the brain for a long time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt-vG_TdOT4

xpost AD&D-based "gold box" computer game, surely

i wonder how his dad will react

are politicians actually more prone to adultery or is it just that they're more likely to be both hypocritical and found out

Power swells them.

hehehe

aside from voting for Bernie in 25 days, i think i shall withdraw from this event. carefully and without slippage.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, March 25, 2016 4:26 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

When I read this, I couldn't help thinking about the clip you posted in the "Hail Caesar!" thread featuring excerpts of Jerry Lewis's "Errand Boy" - for God's sake be careful!

TOO DEEP FOR ME, but thx

https://twitter.com/johnfund/status/713396047188475904

Trump surrogate Adriana Cohen on CNN debating ex-Cruz aide Amanda Carpenter Suddenly accuses her of being
Cruz mistress. Stop this MADNESS!

@daveweigel
Cruz also navigates around the term ratf**ker: "Donald may be a rodent but I have no desire to copulate with him."

Let the MADNESS get MADDER!

Here's the clip:

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/trump-supporter-derails-cnn-segment-by-accusing-fellow-guest-of-having-an-affair-with-ted-cruz/

Bolduan expressions are pretty hilarious in those clips.

Let all the poisons that lurk in the mud hatch out.

daria's comment upthread about the delegate wooing process (and trump's weakness at it) is interesting

there is this tho:

http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/trump-aides-plot-two-phase-strategy-win-potential-contested-convention-n545231

Man, things are getting metaphysical. How can you prove you did not sleep with Ted Cruz?

you still have skin?

"my genitals are not screaming 'WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY' at me 24/7, ergo I could not have slept with Ted Cruz"

(xposts) On Monday, (Trump) called the majority delegate requirement "unfair" seven times, arguing that it's too hard for the front-runner to win 50 percent in a race with over 5 candidates.

He's been complaining about this "arbitrary" number of 1,237 for a while, and always brings up how hard that is with so many candidates. The joke being, of course, that if there hadn't been so many candidates, he very likely wouldn't be leading.

Wait, I thought the tabloid story included no names?

internet sleuths have pushed some names out there

I did not sleep with Ted Cruz.

(xpost) That, plus live face-to-face CNN leaks.

Prove it, you lot!

I have in my hand a list of hundreds who have slept with Ted Cruz. And unlike my competition, I have pictures, too!
http://www.cheerfulgivers.org/wp16/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Beanies.jpg

ew

1) True or not, this has all the earmarks of a ratfck by a career ratfcker, and I would be willing to hazard a guess that the "Washington insider" quoted by the National Enquirer is an old Nixon hand whose name rhymes with "Dodger Drone."

2) The Enquirer itself is run by the aptly monickered David Pecker, who is a longtime Friend Of The Donald.

3) Not enough people remember Jimmy Swaggart.

4) Not enough people have seen Elmer Gantry.

5) This campaign is nowhere near as nauseating as it's going to get.

Man, to hell with this story. Even schadenfreude has some limits.

http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a43321/ted-cruz-sex-scandal/

@jonathanjbarnes
Scott Walker predicts open GOP convention would nominate someone not currently running http://host.madison.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/election-matters/scott-walker-predicts-open-gop-convention-would-nominate-someone-not/article_e3eea03d-8f97-57ed-90bc-e5f737001d52.html … via @CapTimes

@dick_nixon Richard M. Nixon Retweeted Jonathan Barnes
Johnny thinks the Yankees will come calling if he can just get the bat off his shoulder.

lol at all of this

cruz you rascal. the only way for him to survive this is to channel his inner bill clinton, play it off as something that makes him more likable if anything.

@dick_nixon
The women who can be recognized jibe with certain specific rumors about Cruz that have circulated for some time.

This is not to say I'm privy to any alleged evidence on Cruz, but politically the thing to do is not leak all at once.

That is to say you leak, let the fellow rebut it, then hit him again. Watch him wave his arms, then reveal everything.

this guy's a pretty good Nixon

nixon sez two of the women are 'recognizable'

an old Nixon hand whose name rhymes with "Dodger Drone."

I can't work out who this is

ted rouéz

cruz you rascal. the only way for him to survive this is to channel his inner bill clinton, play it off as something that makes him more likable if anything.

I'm sorry, his what

yr kiddin or...?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Stone

i had to do several google searches to figure that out

http://gawker.com/ted-cruz-implies-hed-fuck-a-rat-as-long-as-it-wasnt-don-1767113389

have to admit this headline made me lol

Stone's fourth book Jeb! and the Bush Crime Family was released by Skyhorse Publishing on February 16, 2016

i'm waitin for the movie

not kidding! not sure I've come across that name before

xp

man, dailykos has removed at least two stories on the cruz affairs. wtf?

Woman #5 is... The Daily Kos

#thething

it's roger stone shakey

More than you wanted to know about Roger Stone:

Others have noted that he wears a diamond pinkie ring in the shape of a horseshoe, in 2007 he had Richard Nixon's face tattooed on his back,[3] he owned five Jaguars as of 2007, and he also owns five Yorkshire Terriers.

http://gawker.com/people-have-been-talking-about-the-thing-with-ted-cru-1767029781

seems like there might be some kind of sex tape.

Rick Wilson ‎@TheRickWilson
Dear media outlets in possession of The Thing; I know you're scared about legal. Have an intern post it on YouTube and then "discover" it.
5:15 PM - 11 Mar 2016
197 197 Retweets 238 238 likes

I'd have sex with Ted Cruz if it would resurrect Nixon as a prisoner of Monica Crowley's so he can prognosticate on the election and nothing more.

in 2007 he had Richard Nixon's face tattooed

this is next level