Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise/IP-based flick of 2024

Joker 2 will make me the most nauseous
Twisters will only be good if the main character is a tornado and Bill Paxton's daughter tries to murder it in revenge

I went to the cinema with my kids to see the last sonic the hedgehog film and the thought of seeing another one made me shudder, so that.

Deadpool 3

oh god

Piece by Piece (Pharrell Williams biopic in Legos)

ok?

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/pharrell-williams-lego-movie-piece-by-piece-1234955076/

wait where's Biden vs Trump?

In there as megamind vs the doom syndicate

no Intellectual property detected

really want to emphasize how terrible the winehouse movie looks

voted for Kraven the Hunter because the poster suggests it feature Sam Taylor Johnson wearing normal pants and not the leopard print leggings Kraven had in the comics

I feel like Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is probably going to be the most disappointing

I wish I could vote for like 10 of these

idk about the inclusion of random biopics

Having seen the Ghostbusters 4 trailer, that.

Jerry Seinfeld will direct, produce, co-write and star in the film, which is based on a joke he told about the creation of the Pop-Tart.[2]

ok, this sounds pretty unpromising

I'm sure I voted Dune 2 last year, but in my defense, I didn't know they were going to release a popcorn box sex toy to go with it

Terrifier 3

Can't wait for Letterboxd edgelords to declare this the Citizen Kane of our times

I was going to include Air Force One Down, starring Anthony Michael Hall, but couldn't find any indication it was a sequel to Air Force One.

what is outlaw posse meant to be a sequel to/remake of?

Posse
It's a Mario Van Peebles film

Think it's a sequel to Air Force Three Across xps

is there a connection otherwise tho? or is it a crimes of the future thing, it isn't clear from a brief search

Jerry Seinfeld's writing career post-Seinfeld is taking throwaway movie titles the Seinfeld writers came up with but never used, and making them into feature-lengths

But still, Joker 2 is way more unpromising because of the attention it'll get

til Seinfeld's first name is Jerome

People will start saying "Jokerfied" again

Not voting Joker 2 because it's almost impossible for me to imagine disliking it more than Joker the first

Can't wait for Letterboxd edgelords to declare this the Citizen Kane of our times

― badpee pooper (Eric H.), Tuesday, February 6, 2024 3:56 PM (thirty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

can't wait to do exactly this

I think the Bob Marley one has now passed Wall Street 2 as my most seen trailer ever

Most promising is People's Joker, as it was pretty great

Not including this in this year's poll turned out prescient:

‘COYOTE VS ACME’ is now expected to be shelved and deleted forever.

Warner Bros wanted $75M - $80M for the film and rejected offers from Netflix, Amazon & Paramount, refusing to let them counter-offer.

(Source: https://t.co/CRJ33GW4SK) pic.twitter.com/fivqey7r39

— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) February 9, 2024

loving this new trend of shooting movies and never releasing them

So this was not based on the Ian Frazier New Yorker piece?

it's based on a landfill, now!

Coyote Vs Acme is based on the New Yorker piece

I don't really understand why it bothers me that they are never releasing (or maybe outright deleting) a movie I would most likely never watch, but it does bother me for some reason, probably because I worry they might also do this same kind of thing to something I'd like to see.

the total disrespect and dehumanization of people trying to make their art, regardless of the quality?

Right, also the latent (and admittedly very snobby) hunch that the movies studios try to bury are probably way more interesting than the movies studios force upon the mass audience

Anything that's actually faithful to the Looney Tunes aesthetic/ethos is probably a specialty item these days

not to mention completely wasteful re: resources

Seeing mixed reports on whether this is a tax writeoff or not; tax law is completely beyond me tho

wouldn't be surprised if they just make 4 movies a year just to write-off taxes with no intent of release. taking the ashcan copy to new levels

I just cannot fathom being a creator, writer, director, actor or anyone that pours heart and soul into a project and it just *POOF* vanishes without even the chance to be seen by any audience. Not to make any of these disposed of films sound like high art, but surely someone involved put a lot of care and love into what they do and to just see it... gone? It is heartbreaking.

I just cannot fathom being a creator, writer, director, actor or anyone that pours heart and soul into a project and it just *POOF* vanishes without even the chance to be seen by any audience. Not to make any of these disposed of films sound like high art, but surely someone involved put a lot of care and love into what they do and to just see it... gone? It is heartbreaking.

― Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0)

idk i feel like that's kind of intrinsic part of being a creator, working really hard on something that nobody ever sees?

Kelly Reichart's latest film is an example of that, in more ways than one

I suppose it’s a bit like being an artist and a rich guy buys your painting and sets it on fire

no, it's like being an artist, and being commissioned to create paintings, with the promise that they will be sold to museums for display, and then the purchaser of the paintings driving the painting to the museum, getting to the parking lot, and lighting it on fire in front of the museum curators, laughing

in the background, Jethro Tull's "Thick as a Brick" plays

Sounds like something the Roadrunner might do

There isn't really going to be a Gladiator 2, is there?

I can't remember if it was strictly episode by episode, or if there was an overarching plot or villain. Like, was it all stunt-monster of the week, or was there stunt-mythology, too? I honestly can't remember, I know I saw this show but only because a) maybe it was on close to A-Team and Knight Rider and b) it was on. Regardless, I doubt this movie was made due to any sort of nostalgia or affinity for the show, it was probably just a dangling cheap IP.

Basic premise was he was a stuntman who also moonlit as a bounty hunter so the format was very much case of the week

He was also a cyborg

What's $6 million adjusted for inflation? (Please include the appropriate bionic sound effect.)

Missing The Crow, which I just saw the trailer for and it looks fucking terrible. All the gothic aesthetic is completely absent.

Yeah, I couldn't even make it through the trailer.

Not sure where it's at production-wise, but Danny Boyle & Cillian Murphy are working on a new 28 Days Later... 28 Years Later? I dunno

Not sure Murphy's attached atm but Alex Garland is writing them (because of course it's actually going to be a trilogy of new films)

Hope the last one is called 28 Millennia Later and is set in the year 30002

In space, no one can turn on the lights
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTNMt84KT0k

The CGI alien action shots look like shit.

IP overload there: "From the Director of the Evil Dead" o rilly?

he did the remake. a movie i love, so im really looking forward to this

Agree with ivy. Alvarez's movies (Don't Breathe and the Evil Dead remake) are good. He's got a real way with watch-through-your-fingers violence; I'm a lot more interested in this than Alien: Covenant, which I still haven't seen.

yeah, I figured there must have been a remake, since every horror movie has been remade

Appreciated most of "Don't Breathe" (didn't see the sequel, did he do that, too?), did not like "Evil Dead" remake (but not sure I finished it, either). Not sure his magic mix of mean, ugly and gross will make this series better, or right the ship from the last two embarrassing Ridley Alien movies, but who knows. Mostly I'm looking forward to Noah Hawley's Alien show.

No shade against the film but it really should say "from the director of the evil dead (2013)"

Sadly, the world contains many people younger than us.

They shouldn't be watching Alien movies. That's for olds.

really didn't feel the Evil Dead remake, too po-faced and by the numbers for me, but i know some people love it

Yeah it was definitely not my thing. I felt like Evil Dead Rise, while being a sequel rather than remake, did a better job of creating an atmosphere that balanced grounded horror with the franchise's signature humor and over the top theatrics

The nightmare never ends

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twisted_Childhood_Universe#Upcoming

such a missed opportunity to call it The Baconing franchise

The franchise's first installment, Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey, was met with a negative critical reception and a more mixed fan reception, though it turned a profit at the box office. The movie's quality was called into question, with criticisms directed at the script, acting, cinematography, and use of humor.

I like this phrasing.

These things read like throwaway Key & Peele parody trailers.

Blood & honey 2 should really have been in this poll & I resubmit that random biopics should be excluded

Denied

A biopic using the popularity and songs of Bob Marley is just as much of an IP offender as is the Fall Guy using the title and the idea of a stuntman doing stuff

I'm not sure it should be permissible to use a song from 1974 as trailer music for a movie set in 1963.

It feels neither close enough nor far enough away.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lqRPUhPfho

I got a decent lol out of Jerry saying "Xanthan!"

How is it that Fall Guy is coming out on Friday when it feels like it has already been out for six weeks?

Turns out teasing a movie for three months solid before actually releasing it is a bad release strategy

Very telling that when I tried to look up what movies came out this weekend all I get are results for streaming

I just tried and the first five results were for theaters and the sixth combined theaters and “major streaming platforms.”

Ok so what and out this weekend?

Pretty sure that the marketing of The Fall Guy was driven by the desire to capture as much of the mega-huge audience for Barbie as possible and this was to be accomplished by driving Ryan Gosling into our brains with a nail gun.

Ok so what and out this weekend?

AND WHAT

Kingdom Ape Planet
Poolman
Tarot
We Grown Now
The Dry 2: The Wet Force Of Nature: The Dry 2
Not Another Tyler Perry Movie
Last Stop In Yuma County
Srikanth
Lazareth
Three Promises
Aggro Dr1ft
Gasoline Rainbow
Hazard
Triple 7
The Image Of You

and the Met Opera's Madama Butterfly

Sounds like a Redbox screen

…in that it’s a list of recent movies? (only two of which are relevant to the thread)

No it sounds like the stuff in the theatres sounds like stuff that in the past would be straight to DvD

i'm seeing Kingdom Ape Planet tomorrow, I have high expectations

a typical list of direct-to-DVD films, any given week prior to 2024:

a $157 million franchise blockbuster that is also #1 at the theatrical box office with $129 million taken in three days
the sequel to an English-language country's 14th-highest-grossing hit of all time
a biography of a visually impaired entepreneur promoted by disability rights orgs
a Harmony Korine action film shot entirely on infrared cameras
an inspirational drama film about kids growing up in a Chicago housing project in the 90s
the latest semi-fiction-semi-doco feature by The Ross Brothers

Save Hollywood, TWISTERS! 🌪️

if it's not in 3D, they fucked up

having now seen Aggro Dr1ft on a cinerama screen with a hyped Friday night audience, I'm urgently keen for P-Keyes to update the thread regularly with that week's equivalent (and a healthy list of DTV versions from years past)

missed the Ross bros one locally tho

if it's not in 3D, they fucked up

they could just call the next one TWIST3D

I'll go see that to catch up on Kiernan Shipka, who I'm pretty sure I haven't seen once since Mad Men ended. I like the original. From what I remember, the first minute of the trailer is almost identical to the original's.

Unfrosted: The Pop Tart Story has been four weeks in release. Has anyone here seen it? Has anyone at all seen it?

Lots of discussion about it in the Is It On Netflix...? streaming thread and the Seinfeld thread.