Great Real Names

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Real names of people that are just brilliant. Brought on by hearing the Ugandan Foreign Minister on the Radio, his name is James Woodpecker Bulo, which is pretty good if you as me.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 24 April 2003 05:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

Rufus Longstockings

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:02 (7 years ago) Permalink

(ahem)

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

ThatFuckerJessHarvell

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:05 (7 years ago) Permalink

okay i made that one up

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:10 (7 years ago) Permalink

Booz Wierdsma exists

― gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:12 (7 years ago) Permalink

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

― gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

alain robbe-grillet ownz enough imo

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

Coco Crisp
Samantha Bond
David Duchovny, but only because it fits with "why won't you love me" in that song

Among ilxen, Ned and Matos and Martin and Lara have damn cool names, and if I'm remembering Ally's full name correctly, she sounds like a Barbara Stanwyck character.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:31 (7 years ago) Permalink

Zinedine Zidane.

― James Ball (James Ball), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:40 (7 years ago) Permalink

Wubbo Ockels = first dutchman in space

ps he is a dick

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 24 April 2003 07:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

posting this anonymously as these people might just google sometime

anyway.. i used to work for a multinational company which had a searchable online name and address book. So we used to have office competitions to find the best names..

So. here we go with some of the best (and these are real employees)

Nick Sex
Shirley Shallow
Tory S Gaylord
Ricardo Cunto
Eduardo Bastardo
Eric Cartman
Mindy Smelkinson

there were loads more but i can't remember them right now...

― A Nonymous (Jack Battery-Pack), Thursday, 24 April 2003 08:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

He was a great authour, too.

― fletrejet, Thursday, 24 April 2003 10:05 (7 years ago) Permalink

I knew a dude once named Ziad Ziady. Also, my step-sister's freshman-year roommate in college was supposed to be someone named Ojabberin Zayden Powpack, but she never showed.

― hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:45 (7 years ago) Permalink

As for bad names, a guy in my office just named his new son Laws0n K1ncade H3adl3y. Blech! So snobby sounding!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (7 years ago) Permalink

Come on down top Ukranian footballer, Semen Semenko

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (7 years ago) Permalink

There's a lawyers office I came across once when I was lost (wrong bus route) the partners' names were Hartless and Rich.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:50 (7 years ago) Permalink

Spanish teacher at my middle school = AN1TA D1CK. Her husband's name = H4RRY D1CK. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:51 (7 years ago) Permalink

God Shamgod
Lucky Smalls works where I do...haven't met him.

― buttch (Oops), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:48 (7 years ago) Permalink

There's a hockey player named Miroslav Satan.

Not as crowd-pleasing perhaps, but there's a statue in Madison Square in New York of a man named Roscoe Conkling.

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

Rocco Baldelli

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:06 (7 years ago) Permalink

Sometimes I love my job, like yesterday when I registered a student named Bo Ning. Shouldn't laugh, but gotta really...

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

At uni, I knew someone named Peter Handler. He didn't even understand why people giggled when they heard his name. He was such a sweet guy, too!

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:18 (7 years ago) Permalink

me.

― martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

Rufus Longstockings

-- jess

Oh, and my middle school band director was named Rufus Long.

― martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:23 (7 years ago) Permalink

martin, I like your name!

― hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:25 (7 years ago) Permalink

Hmong names are great! Friend of mine student-taught in a school with heavy Hmong population and there was a kid named Bee Lor, who signed his name with a little cartoon bee, and I think actually did go out and learn a few things about bees, ie "bee lore." Also many Hmong kids have English names that are still literal and descriptive: the girl named "Pretty Flower [xx]"

Went to school with a girl who's last name was Sexe (p. "sexy") She was, too.

Geoffrey Stuart Cannon is such a bizarre formal name sometimes I can't really believe it's mine (heh "feeling slightly disconnected from one's own name c/d")

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:26 (7 years ago) Permalink

Oh shit how could I forget. When I was a teenager I had a friend named Pendleton Brewster Wickersham III. Nice kid too. Probably a nice guy by now, but it's been a long time...

― martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

RAGGETT: "Tell me where's your fancy bread.
I need it for me, and I'm called Ned."

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

Seconding Fletrjet on both the name and his writing.

Working at a university as I do, I've come across many a mysteriously cool name. Current favorites, with slight non-google alterations (as these are folks I am currently having to bill for late books): the very Thai (I believe) Nar1n Charanvattank1t, the quite Scottish yet somehow naughty 1an Mu1r Duckles and the prime winner, someone I can only guess is from an Arabic/Dutch family of some sort, Azareen Vandervl1et Oloom1.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:46 (7 years ago) Permalink

he's like the rai beefheart prince!

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:49 (7 years ago) Permalink

i actually really like the name Martin Skidmore. It sounds noble. Sir Martin Skidmore.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 15:30 (7 years ago) Permalink

Ransom Williams, an old friend of mine. Sounds like a black detective character in a series of mysery novels.

― Scott Kos (Scott Kos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

Best with his actual rank/title: Brigadier General Sylavanus Taco Gilbert (recently fired commandant of the US Air Force Academy).

― Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:12 (7 years ago) Permalink

Sorry, make that Sylvanus Taco Gilbert III. Really.

― Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:13 (7 years ago) Permalink

Peter Peters, not sure who he is, but he was the keynote speaker at a Prayer Breakfast round these parts.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

Doing some data entry I ran across "Oral Honeycutt"...

― cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

I paid $30 for that one time...

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:20 (7 years ago) Permalink

You got ripped off.

― cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

I know. But I did get the clap. Sort of an added value thing.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:24 (7 years ago) Permalink

me to thread!

― slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

I just saw another one: Dune Combs

Also, I saw a guy named John Hancock, which is not all that unusual, but I wonder if he would make his signature an exact forgery of the founding father of the same name.

― cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:13 (7 years ago) Permalink

Thanks Chris and possibly Tep (he might have meant the other martin). Can't say I'm so keen on Skidmore myself, but I'm used to it.

At work today the person who I was given as a sample that would show a particular system error was Mr Doh. I like to imagine that to say his name correctly you have to slap your forehead.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

hey Martin, Martin is a cool name regardless of which of us he was talking about. It's a good thing at least one Chris thinks that.

― martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

I like your name too, Martin. It's got a nice rhythm to it.

― slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:48 (7 years ago) Permalink

There was a boatbuilding expert on telly today called Brian Labyrinth.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

old schoolmate: April Blue
friend who blogs: Gwenda Bond

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:00 (7 years ago) Permalink

Best Names

i loved that thread, largely because spectra got so into it! :)

― ron (ron), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

There was some important politician or someone back in the mid-nineties who was called Tokyo Sexwhale. And more recently, I was looking through my old school's Friends Reunited page searching for someone and I saw this girl from the class of 2000 who was called Jo King.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Friday, 25 April 2003 11:51 (7 years ago) Permalink

Names of a couple I encountered while data entering:

Mr Dickie & Miss K Titmus

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 1 May 2003 09:27 (7 years ago) Permalink

sexwhale is pronounced sex - while (with just a hint of the wahl from mark wahlberg) - eh

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 1 May 2003 10:00 (7 years ago) Permalink

Skipping 397 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

get ye to the scottish football thread with that, imo

― Jesse James Woods (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 April 2010 14:42 (4 months ago) Permalink

hmm I would darragh but I don't know which subboard it's on

― fuck in rainbows, after it rains (dyao), Thursday, 8 April 2010 14:42 (4 months ago) Permalink

ha is that a dig? we will build it, and they will come i promise u

― Jesse James Woods (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 April 2010 14:49 (4 months ago) Permalink

; ) if only there was a place where they could compile all the football threads

― fuck in rainbows, after it rains (dyao), Thursday, 8 April 2010 14:50 (4 months ago) Permalink

the technology isn't there, now buckle down and quit with your crazy dreams

― Jesse James Woods (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 April 2010 14:51 (4 months ago) Permalink

A. M. Lopshits

― offshore "drilling" for (Euler), Saturday, 10 April 2010 07:56 (4 months ago) Permalink

also Jacques Tits cannot be denied

― offshore "drilling" for (Euler), Saturday, 10 April 2010 07:57 (4 months ago) Permalink

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/claudius-christmas-jr/0/b36/a97

― aarrissi-a-roni, Tuesday, 13 April 2010 16:58 (4 months ago) Permalink

Lastings Milledge

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7706
...very 19th century name

― WARS OF ARMAGEDDON (Karaoke Version) (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 13 April 2010 17:11 (4 months ago) Permalink

oh my god guys:
Thadd3us Str4ssburger

― piping hot dish and a cup of chat (Stevie D), Friday, 23 April 2010 03:56 (4 months ago) Permalink

That is a good name.

There was a girl on Tyra today named Nausea. Seriously? Nausea?!

― Aqua Backrat (ENBB), Friday, 23 April 2010 03:58 (4 months ago) Permalink

there was this weird, eccentric (and pretty awesome kid) whose real name was Franz Jean, but he went by John (and of course his last name was pronounced "Zyon"), so essentially his name sounded like John John when the teacher called on him.

also i met a guy named Justin Bieber today. god I feel sorry for him

― Phoenix in Flight (Cattle Grind), Friday, 23 April 2010 04:05 (4 months ago) Permalink

Foeke Booy

― tomofthenest, Monday, 26 April 2010 14:52 (4 months ago) Permalink

just think, if he was japanese or hungarian he wd be booy foeke

― nakhchivan, Monday, 26 April 2010 14:55 (4 months ago) Permalink

Mel Drybread

― kind of loam but mostly sand (los blue jeans), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 18:37 (4 months ago) Permalink

Kest3r Br1ght

Prest0n C@nn0n

Learned of both names through various office email networks, never met either.

― wasting time and money trying to change the weather (Laurel), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 18:41 (4 months ago) Permalink

Just out of curiosity, has anyone ever spoken up and said they KNEW one of the people/names posted here?

― wasting time and money trying to change the weather (Laurel), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 18:49 (4 months ago) Permalink

Take your pick:

My favorites are Jane Murfin and Van Nest Polglase

― Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm Ann Reinking! (Stevie D), Thursday, 29 April 2010 02:08 (4 months ago) Permalink

Coffee Wang

― Madchen, Thursday, 29 April 2010 11:21 (4 months ago) Permalink

I dunno about Wagstaff-Gribble, it sounds like a rare nervous condition that makes people spill food out of their mouths when they eat.

― wasting time and money trying to change the weather (Laurel), Thursday, 29 April 2010 13:48 (4 months ago) Permalink

I want to make a poll out of that list of names.

― Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm Ann Reinking! (Stevie D), Thursday, 29 April 2010 13:58 (4 months ago) Permalink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odd_Bull

was a vox pop with a woman called Gay Power on the channel 4 news earlier.

― Times New Excels At (jim in glasgow), Friday, 7 May 2010 21:31 (3 months ago) Permalink

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126606650&ft=1&f=1003

I win.

― Sherman Helmsley Teabag (Cattle Grind), Friday, 7 May 2010 22:53 (3 months ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

The work experience kid in here today is called D@ve Dull@rd. How does a family get a surname like that?

― she is mottled and she's looking good (DJ Mencap), Monday, 24 May 2010 12:30 (3 months ago) Permalink

― like a guttenberg, strong with your mane (another al3x), Monday, 24 May 2010 17:48 (3 months ago) Permalink

I once bought pot from a girl by the name of Nuss, who enjoyed mentioning that her parents' names were Pete and Anna: P. Nuss and A. Nuss

― Myonga Vön Bontee, Monday, 24 May 2010 18:55 (3 months ago) Permalink

Esa-Pekka Salonen

― Aimless, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 03:52 (3 months ago) Permalink

holy shit @ hyman shocker

― mr. milquetoast (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 04:01 (3 months ago) Permalink

I bet he gets that a lot.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 04:14 (3 months ago) Permalink

palindrome!

http://www.facebook.com/people/Eduardo-Odraude/592322555

― (e_3) (Edward III), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 04:56 (3 months ago) Permalink

Brazilian-American percussionist Duduka da Fonseca!

― Scelsi Hotel (Paul in Santa Cruz), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 06:41 (3 months ago) Permalink

What's so odd about "Esa-Pekka Salonen"? It's a perfectly common Finnish name.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 07:40 (3 months ago) Permalink

Salonen sounds a bit like 'saline', as in saline implants that a lady might use to enhance her breasts, which are a rude and amusing part of the body

― taqsim for Gaffney (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 07:59 (3 months ago) Permalink

Sounds kinda stretched.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 08:27 (3 months ago) Permalink

A classic (if unfortunate) confluence of story and reporter: Vienna Boys’ Choir caught up in sex abuse scandals, written by Roger Boyse.

― seandalai, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 23:34 (3 months ago) Permalink

I work with a person with the last name Fartass. I think it's pronounced far-taus or something. Whatever, it's fart-ass to me.

― musicfanatic, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 23:38 (3 months ago) Permalink

http://web.minorleaguebaseball.com/milb/stats/stats.jsp?pos=&sid=milb&t=p_pbp&pid=572171

― J0rdan S., Thursday, 27 May 2010 03:29 (3 months ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

Zowie Sharples

― kkvgz, Monday, 21 June 2010 17:18 (2 months ago) Permalink

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/10368990.stm

― kkvgz, Monday, 21 June 2010 17:18 (2 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3951187/resume

― my objective was to get the ham (another al3x), Friday, 6 August 2010 14:48 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Prior Job Title 2: Oral english teacher

― QUEEN LATFH (LOLK), Friday, 6 August 2010 15:32 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Shocker

― ? (dyao), Thursday, 19 August 2010 03:33 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I think he should have gone with Urbane Shocker. Seems cooler. And more phonetically correct.

― The one time I don't do the dishes, I get ebola! (James Morrison), Thursday, 19 August 2010 03:52 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Was looking up some Dodgers stats the other day and came across Oyster Burns.

― My totem animal is a hamburger. (WmC), Thursday, 19 August 2010 04:03 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Don't know about more phonetically correct, JM. The presence of the middle name Jacques would suggest Urbain should be pronounced the French way, which is way closer to Urban than Urbane.

― emil.y, Thursday, 19 August 2010 13:32 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I work at a call center. A recent goody was "V1dy4 An4nth4n4n4r4y4n4n".

― albino python on cocaine (corey), Thursday, 19 August 2010 13:37 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I also like the name of the composer Vagn Holmboe. If the way I think it's pronounced is correct, it sounds like the surname of a German nobleman-turned-90s rapper.

― albino python on cocaine (corey), Thursday, 19 August 2010 14:18 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i met someone with the last name D3wd@t

― michangelo wuz a party d00d (San Te), Thursday, 19 August 2010 14:29 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Dew-dat, dew-dat, dew-dew-dat-dat-dat

― albino python on cocaine (corey), Thursday, 19 August 2010 14:36 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Pr0bal H0que

― dayo, Tuesday, 31 August 2010 23:47 (3 days ago) Permalink

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